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When I was younger, I imagined getting ready for prom in the most extravagant way. One person curling my hair and another applying my makeup. Friends all around me. Perfect manicures, a tight dress, and diamond studded shoes. I imagined my mom would be there taking photos. But today at 4pm I stood alone. My best friend outside my bathroom door as I wriggled into my red dress. 

Simplicity is what I lived by. A key hole back and a thin, gold jeweled dress belt were my statement pieces for tonight. My hair was pulled in a low loose bun. Wavy strands framed my face and my ears were decorated with my signature gold studs. 

I stared in the mirror as I awkwardly moved my hands up my back to try to zip my dress. I stepped on the hem, tugging it down and nearly tripping. The hot bathroom didn't make this task any easier. 

In frustration, I swiftly opened the bathroom door. The cool breeze lowered my temperature and stopped the subtle shine on my forehead from worsening. 

Ashton popped his head in, locking eyes with me in the mirror.

"Do you mind zipping me up?" I asked. 

"Not at all," he quietly responded. He looked down as he stepped into my bathroom, careful not to trip over my shoes. 

Ashton stood tall behind me, dressed in black dress pants and a white long sleeve shirt, buttoned down to expose his chest like normal. His gold necklaces glimmered underneath my bright white bulbs illuminating us. 

He zipped me up slowly and carefully. I bit on my bottom lip as he treated my dress like a fragile heirloom. He lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on my shoulder. He peered up, meeting my stoic appearance. 

Seeing him again after what happened was weird at first. It was uncomfortable, awkward, and I didn't like that between us. It only took us a few minutes and a short conversation for things to feel more normal. Luke's name wasn't mentioned in the conversation. 

I didn't want to give him a reaction. If there's no reaction, then there's no meaning to it. Like it never happened. And that's just what I wanted.

I sighed, looking at my cluttered counter. He clipped my open key hole back and straightened it for me. After taking a step back from me he leaned against the doorway.

"You look great," he softly told me. I smiled, meeting his eyes once in the mirror before reaching out and picking up my phone.

"Thank you," I responded. Luke had just texted me he was a few minutes away.

I turned around to face him and he crossed his arms. The rings on his fingers that were wrapped around his bicep matched his necklace. I remembered how they got caught in my hair and cooled my heated skin that night. 

"Do you want to ride with us?" I asked, trying to find my balance as I struggled to put on my strappy heels. 

Ashton grabbed ahold of my hand to steady me. He shook his head as he watched me fumble with the buckle, "No, I'm going to pick up Cal and we'll see you there."

I sighed, "Okay." I sturdied myself as I stood up straight, now being a few inches taller. A foot of space separated us.

"Still coming to Michael's?" Ashton asked. I still had to look up to talk to him, even in my heels. 

"Of course." I smiled, pulling down the bumps in my dress. 

Our heads turned at the sound of knocking on my front door. My heart raced and my smile grew while Ashton's fell. He kept his distance behind me as I made my way down my stairs and to the front door. In the moment it felt like both of my world's colliding. Both so uncertain and confusing, but in the moment I felt content. 

I opened the door and Luke's back was revealed to me. His head turned over his shoulder first, a grin appearing on his face and the rest of his body followed. He held a white corsage and boutonnière in his hand. 

"Well, hello, Andy Emerson." Luke scanned me up and down with raised eyebrows and I did the same.

"Hi," I breathed out as he pulled me into a hug. He left a lingering kiss on my forehead. I liked his kiss much better than Ashton's.

"You look stunning," Luke said, pulling away from me. He looked over my head, his dorky smile falling to a smirk. "Ashton, you clean up well."

I stared over my shoulder, giving Ashton a sheepish smile. He stood lazily holding onto his jacket. He walked over to us, standing almost directly behind me and placing his hand on my exposed shoulder. 

"I can say the same for you, man." He sounded chipper and happy, then again, I could practically see his face turning green from envy. He glanced down at me, then back to Luke. "I'm going to head out, I'll catch up with you guys later."

And with a short exchange of goodbyes, Luke and I were left on my front porch alone. 

I thought about telling him right in that moment. The guilt was eating me alive. It took over my thoughts constantly, and I wanted it to stop consuming my life. I feared Luke was disappear from my life and never speak to me again. That he wouldn't look me in the eye anymore or put his hand on my thigh when he drove with me in the passenger seat. But if it came to that, I deserved it.

-

My nose scrunched at the smell of cigarette smoke coming from Luke's lips. I liked it, oddly. Such a dangerous and sickly thing had turned into a secret pleasure of mine. I sat in his lap in a rocking chair on Michael's back porch. A drunken Michael to our left and another drunk pair, Ashton and Calum, to our right. 

Deep bass tones shook Michael's house. He lived down a hidden gravel road. Far from neighbors and noise. The stars shined even brighter from his tucked away home. Calum clutched onto a guitar that formed to his body perfectly. He was made to have an instrument in his hands.

Ashton tapped on the wooden deck, laughing each time Calum swore when we messed up. Michael drunkenly sang along to their songs and created a perfectly timed tempo. Luke hummed smoothly in my ear. 

"You guys should start a band," I joked, my eyes feeling heavy.  

The four boys erupted into laughter. It wasn't even that funny, honestly. I guess if you put it into perspective, it was kind of funny. Calum was an athlete, Ashton disliked Luke, Luke and Michael seemed much more dark and heavy than the other two. It would never work, let's be real.

A girl had stumbled through the doorway, eventually finding her way to Michael's side. I recognized her, but I couldn't for the life of me remember her name. Frankly, I was too drunk. She handed Michael a drink and left us without a word.

"Who's the girl?" Calum asked, strumming lightly on his guitar.

"That's for me to know." Michael winked, sipping on his plastic cup. The other boys cheered and whooped. I spotted her through the glass door, laughing with a couple of girls around her. She was stunning. 

"Who's your girl?" Michael asked. I watched as Calum shook his head. We all knew how committed he was to sports and a relationship was way too much for him.

"Come on man. Ask Ashton."

I raised my eyebrow at him as another cheer came from the boys around me. Luke was right in my ear, making them ring even more than they were. I narrowed my eyes at Ashton who had a malicious grin on his face. My head was spinning.

"She's not mine. She's somebody else's," Ashton spoke to the crowd, eventually landing his stare on me.

Michael laughed, accidentally spilling his drink on the ground. "You dog."

"Wait? Who?" Luke asked. My heart raced at his question. I feared he could feel it from under me.

Ashton brushed off the question. "You wouldn't know her." He leaned back into his chair, stretching out his legs and taking a swig from his glass. "Best looking girl I've ever been with."

"Did you guys-"

"No." Ashton cut Luke off. Ashton didn't miss a beat with his words, making sure each member was fully into his story. "Didn't sleep together. Great make out session, though. I had her against the wall and on her couch. My shirt was off, her tongue in my mouth. I almost got to sleep with her, though. She backed out."

A disappointed "aw" came from Ashton's crowd, except me. I was furious. I felt like I was a volcano ready to blow. 

He shook his head, "No, no, no. I didn't care. I didn't really know her anyways." He locked eyes with me one last time. My teeth gritted against each other while we had a stare off. I'm sure Ashton could feel our tension, considering he was the one who started this.

I wrapped an arm around Luke's shoulders, pulling him closer to me. I pressed a kiss right under his ear. "Let's go inside," I whispered sweetly. I stood up without a response from him. 

The alcohol in my system made the room rock. The crowd was an ocean in the middle of a storm. My hand intertwined with Luke's as I stumbled through the crowd. He grabbed on my waist to sturdy me.

"Are you going to make it?" He mumbled into my ear.

"Yeah," I breathed out. I led us to an empty bedroom in Michael's house. I shut the door and locked it behind us.

I fell onto my back onto the plush bed. The room was decorated in red in black, dimly lit by a small golden chandelier dangling from the ceiling. 

"You okay?" Luke asked, his words slurring together. I smiled, even though it felt that every muscle in my body was being held down with boulders. 

"I'm great." I giggled as Luke as sat to me. 

"Are you?" He questioned, his hand trailing up my thigh.

 My eyes shut as my skin tingled underneath his touch. He made his way in between my legs, hovering over me. His loose curls dangled in his face and he was still in his formal wear from tonight. 

He had lost the bowtie at some point and loosened the button from his neck to his chest. My red dress now laid in Luke's car parked out front. I was dressed in one of Luke's pullovers and a pair of old denim shorts. My feet still ached from my heels that I took off hours ago. 

Luke kissed me shortly, but sweetly. I could taste the beer on his lips. 

"Ands," He mumbled. I wrapped my legs around his torso, not wanting to speak in the moment. When he tried to pull back I pulled him back in. He laughed, "Andy," he repeated.

I faced his deep stare. It felt like he tied a rope around my heart and was tugging on it harder than before.

"You are everything to me," he whispered. 

Luke made me feel sober. He rid my body of any toxicity. Whether it was kissing him, watching endless movies and long car rides with him. 

"I like being with you." My words ran into each other; a train wreck of drunken words. "Being under you."

I put my hand gently on the side of his flushed face. He looked so vulnerable. My heart ached at what I had done to him. 

"I love you."

His lips beautifully curved with his words. I felt like I was in a fairytale for a brief moment. The chaos had stopped, my breathing slowed. Everything felt so right, but I knew it was all so wrong. 

"Me and Ashton kissed two weeks ago."

-

A/N:

CLIFFHANGER LOLS

I'm SORRY this is so long but it was important lksangkjabg

also this isn't edited and i wrote it half asleep SORRY AGAIN