Well, I'm sick and tired
And I really have my doubts
I've tried and tried
But it never really works out 

*

We didn't talk during the ride home, not that I could have said anything to cheer Brian up anyway. Telling him 'I'm sorry' seemed pointless. It wouldn't have changed anything, especially not when I felt as if I was to blame for the whole thing anyway. Brian would never have left the Rolling Stones willingly. It was his band and if it weren't for me and my stupid visions, he probably would still be with them... I could understand that he wanted to do his own things, when he had no time left, but was it the right decision to act on my visions, when I didn't want them to become a reality? 

On the other hand if the voice was right, it didn't matter either way. We were doomed no matter what we tried, so it possibly was the best option if Brian indeed did what he really wanted to. Even if I didn't like it, but it was his choice after all and he seemed alright, at least more than I. 

Brian didn't say a word either. Instead he looked like he was in deep thought, nearly concentrated, but different from his usual driving face. I wondered what he was thinking about and would have expected the worst, if Brian didn't seem so strangely relieved at the same time. It wasn't very visible, but I knew him long enough to see the difference. He wasn't worried, he was only thinking deeply about something. Somehow it helped me calm my nerves as well. Brian looked as if somebody had just taken a huge weight of his back. Maybe leaving the band had exactly had that effect on him, I wondered. That it hadn't been the most comfortable situation for him was obvious, so maybe this really was for the best. 

We perhaps couldn't solve every problem, but we could at least try to. This was only the start. I would leave my job on Friday, get Mary to move out and then it would just be Brian and I, like he had wanted it to be... 

Even though I felt silly for it, the thought made me nearly blush. This still was so new to me... We definitely had become closer in the last 3 months, since we had started to really be with each other, I supposed, but this was anew something totally different... I wondered if this really could work out. Our routine might not have been the best, but it was working somewhat and I didn't want to destroy that... Not when Brian clearly strived after something more than I did, which nearly sounded ironic. I should be the one who wished for us to marry, not him.... And even though there was a huge part of me that wanted to be his wife, there was an even larger part of me that warned me off about it. Not only, because it was something new and something I had never thought possible, but Brian was going to die in not even two months and then? I would be alone again, a widow and possibly pregnant if I believed my visions...

My stomach turned at the idea. It couldn't happen. I could never raise a child and certainly not on my own... Running off suddenly sounded like a very good plan, but I couldn't... I couldn't start pushing Brian away again. He didn't deserve that in the slightest-

"Charlie?"I nearly jumped at Brian's voice and I heard him chuckle at my bewilderment. "We're home, so can you please stop your overthinking now? I'm fine and we can go in."

I hadn't remarked that we had arrived nor that he had stopped the car. Embarrassed I mumbled an 'alright' and got as fast out of the car as I could. Away from Brian, even if I still could feel his amused stares on me when I rushed inside the house. He was immediately behind me though, which didn't help the situation at all.

"Sometimes I would really like to know what goes on in your mind," Brian said as he closed the door behind him and I nearly wanted to reply 'same', but didn't, not when I remembered what I had been really thinking off.

"I-Nothing,"I mumbled instead still embarrassed and took off my coat, trying not to look at him nor to show him my flushed face.  

"Are you blushing?" Brian asked nevertheless and even though I was trying to look everywhere else but him, I knew he was smiling. "Now I'm really curious." His hand was suddenly on my back and I jumped at the sudden sensation. Water. Suffocating. Death. 

He had turned me around and my back was now against the wall of the narrow halfway floor, when I had come out of the vision. Again he had used them in his advantage to manipulate me as he wished. His face was right before mine, smiling coyly and I thought I could even feel his hot breath on my skin. He was too close for my taste and my first thought was to move back, but behind me was the wall and his arms were around me, keeping me were I was. Usually Brian was gentle, because he exactly knew how unsure I was about this, but this had nothing gentle about it. He had trapped me and enjoyed every moment of it. 

"You're too close," I said. My voice hardly more than a whisper. 

"You probably didn't mind, when you kissed Keith," Brian stated calmly and my breath caught. It might have been a really naive thought of me that he wouldn't mention it, but it really hadn't been anything to get mad over either, especially not him. I didn't want to know what he had got up to when he had run off to. He might not have slept with any woman since I had admitted that I loved him, if he had indeed told the truth, but what about the time before that? Brian still hadn't mentioned to me, where exactly he had been nor what he had done during that time, but I doubted it was anything as innocent as my kiss with Keith.

"We weren't together then!" I exclaimed as I put my hands on his chest to push him away a little to get at least again some distance between us. This topic made me feel uncomfortable enough without this closeness added to it. I wasn't very successful though. Brian didn't move an inch. "It was only a peck on the lips, so could you please let me go?"

Brian didn't need to say a word, his face told me enough. He wouldn't let me go, not until he got what he wanted, whatever that was. I nearly was amazed at how stubborn he could be in some situations, when he was so fickle in others. "And your friend from work?"

I didn't knew it was possible, but at the mention of Edgar I felt myself becoming even more tense. It had been wrong to tell Brian about it earlier in the studio, that much was obvious, but all I had wanted was to be honest with him when he had been with me... It hadn't sounded like a bad idea then. After all nothing had happened between me and Edgar and the reason why I thought I liked him in the first place was well Brian... If Mary had never said a word about their similarities I probably wouldn't have looked at Edgar twice. 

I took a deep breath to get all my courage together and looked Brian straight into his eyes. "I told you I only like him, because he looks like you! I kissed Keith, because I was a mess after you left me! Brian, everything I've done in the last 6 months have been because of you and nobody else! Blimey I even run away on the night we met, because of you! Brian, I-I love-"

I couldn't finish. His lips were on mine and his hands that had previously been on my arms were on my waist pulling me closer to him. I shivered at the touch and wondered again, how he had managed to transform something I had despised all my life into something so wonderful...

"You belong to me," I thought I heard him mumble between kisses. "I'll never let you leave."

I wanted to tell him that I would never leave, but Brian didn't give me a chance. His kisses were urgent and before I even knew what had happened he had pulled my pullover over my head. His hands were cold on my exposed skin, making me tremble at the sensation as Brian's lips found mine again. He gently pushed me back against the wall and his body pressed up against mine. 

"Usually you at least manage to make it to the bedroom and don't ravish each other the minute you get home... Then again you were considerate enough to wait until you're inside."

I didn't realise immediately what had happened the moment Brian let go off me. My first instinct was to lean in to kiss him again until my mind came out from whatever daze it was under and suddenly became very aware of Mary, who was standing at the other end of the hallway observing us. I felt my previous tension creep back in and I was sure my face was as red as a tomato, but her timing had been more than awkward. I buried my face in Brian's shoulder, even if I wasn't sure why. This wouldn't help me and neither had this exactly been the first time Mary had caught us. 

"Fuck off," Brian groaned, pulling me closer to him again. "We're busy and I'm not in the mood for one of your stupid games."

"It's rather obvious for what you're in the mood for," Mary replied sassy and I would have sighed if I hadn't been immensely flustered that she had caught me half naked making out with Brian. 

"In the mood to throw you out," Brian retorted and my hold on him strengthened for a moment, before I sucked in a breath and I thought I heard Mary too. I wasn't sure how serious Brian was. He might have promised me that Mary could stay as long as I'd liked, but considering the situation he might forget about it. 

"You wouldn't dare," Mary retorted and for the millionth time I wondered what their problem actually was. It couldn't only been as Mary had claimed jealousy.  I still had the suspicion there was something else that had happened between them. 

"Why? Because of Charlie? If she had to chose between us, you perfectly knew who she would choose and it wouldn't be you." For somebody that was awfully scared I would leave him all the time, he sounded very sure. Nevertheless his words made me shiver and I had no idea I could become even more embarrassed than I already was. I gulped hard and took a deep breath. If I didn't chip in, I feared their fight would escalate into something nobody would like. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at him rather than Mary, who still was standing at the end of the hallway with crossed arms. 

"Brian, please. We shouldn't be doing this in a hallway anyway. Let's just go to the bedroom and we forget about this, alright?"

"If I want to love you in a hallway, why shouldn't I? Because of her? She's only jealous of you and that's why she's interrupting us so much," Brian said and pulled me closer to him again or at least tried to. I immediately put a stop to it confused. Why should Mary be jealous of me, I wondered. She certainly didn't like Brian and if she wanted to she could have finally contacted Ben and could have a relationship as well. Brian seemed to sense my confusion and started to smile. "She didn't want you to know, but-" He started, but got only immediately interrupted by Mary.

"If you say one word more, our deal is off!"

I frowned, but kept quiet.

"I don't need it anymore anyway," Brian said smirking, looking away from me at Mary, who suddenly looked very pale.

"No, you're lying! She wouldn't-!" She yelled out. Her voice totally agitated, confusing me even more, especially when her gaze switched from Brian to me and I might have been wrong, but she looked stunned. "Charlie are you stupid? He's only going to break your heart in the end!"

"I thought you changed your mind about-" 

"Well maybe I changed it again!" Mary cried out, interrupting me. "Yes he loves you, but he's treating you like shit and you want to chain yourself to somebody like that? You-You should pack your stuff and leave with me. You're surely better off with me than him."

"I-I-" I stammered, unsure what to make out of this, because I wasn't sure if I really understood what she meant. Mary couldn't know that Brian had asked me to marry him, I hadn't told her about it and I doubted Brian had... Nor did I understand why she so suddenly wanted to leave. I think I had heard somewhere that women could get a bit difficult during a pregnancy, but could that really be the only reason? 

"Mary, I-" I stopped again and looked pleadingly at Brian, who only sighed at first, but then came to my rescue.

"Only because your life isn't going as you want it to you don't have to try to fuck up hers too. Charlie stays here with me."

"Why should she?" Mary snorted. "You lie to her and manipulate her. Charlie deserves better than that."

"I've done none of those things!" Brian exclaimed and his gaze moved from Mary to me in a heartbeat. He looked sincere, but it didn't help my sudden unwell feeling. What had happened between those two, I wondered and how long had this been going on without me catching any of it. "I would never-"

"Are you sure?" Mary interrupted him. "Then you didn't steal the letter she got from her father? "

I sucked in a deep breath and finally Brian's hold on me loosened up. Immediate I pulled a coat from the coat rack to cover myself up, before stepping away from him. "I- You said you didn't take it."

At first Brian didn't say a word. He was looking at the floor and I could see he was biting his lip, obviously angry at Mary's revelation. Even if he was the last one who had a right to be, if Mary had said the truth. 

"She's lying, Charlie!" Brian then exclaimed, looking at me, but gesturing towards Mary. "She's the one, who is trying to brainwash you! Her boyfriend broke up with her, because he doesn't want to look after a bastard child and now she fears she's going to lose you as well. She wants you to leave me so that you can help her out! Nothing more."

"Ben broke up with her?" I think I mumbled, because it was all I could come up with in that moment, but nothing seemed to make sense. Ben couldn't break up with her, this couldn't be true. I had seen Mary's marriage! And just no... he had loved her, hadn't he?

"You bastard! Stop manipulating her. The only reason I didn't tell her about this already is because you didn't want me too!" Mary nearly screamed at Brian and I started to get an even worse feeling about this. 

"Brian what did you do?" I asked him softly, scared about his answer and his reaction. 

"I-I didn't want her to come in between or your father or anyone else! I-We- you know why!" Brian exclaimed miserably and I think I heard Mary snort again, but he was right I understood. We had no time. Even though I was angry at him for hiding things from me, there was somewhere in part of me that felt strangely touched.

"Right, get first rid of all her friends, before you lock her up in your basement, so that nobody is going to miss her. Good idea," Mary commented with a sarcastic clap.

"As if you were a good friend to begin with, you're only using her and she's too nice to say anything," retorted Brian. 

"I suppose you know everything about that.-"

"Can you two just shut up for a moment?" I interrupted Mary loudly and both her and Brian looked surprised at me. To be fair I had even astonished myself, but I had enough of their fighting and just wanted the truth. "I get it you two can't stand each other for whatever reason, but I love you both, so could somebody maybe explain to me what's going on?" 

Neither of them said something at first until Mary rolled her eyes. "I called Ben sometime in March after you had taken me in and he brook up with me... I wanted to tell you about it when you came home from work, but Brian found out about it and he didn't want me too, because you apparently couldn't need any more stress. We fought obviously, then he offered me a favour if I kept quiet about it and well for once we agreed on something."

"You made a deal?"

"Something like that..."Brian mumbled and lay a hand on my shoulder, probably to calm me down. Water. Suffocating. Death. "I'm sorry, Charlie. I was just worried that-"

"No!" I exclaimed and shook his hand off, turning in the process towards Brian. "You can't just steal my things, make an ominous deal with my best friend and expect me to be fine with it! I-I I won't leave you, Brian, but I think I need to be on my own for a while...At least for tonight. I-You probably have to consider a few things on your own as well..."

"But you're staying with me?" Brian asked and I wondered if that was everything he ever cared about, but I nodded and he smiled a tad. 

"I don't get how you can just forgive him that easily!" Mary suddenly chipped in again, obviously unhappy about my decision, but neither was I happy about what she had done.

"I'm angry at you too, I have no idea what Brian offered you in return, but I-I it was obviously more important than our friendship," I told her.

"Sure accuse me of being a shit friend, when you're so in love with that stupid bastard over there that you no longer care for anything else?" Mary cried out angrily, surprising me and Brian as well, judging by his face. "Did you ever think a minute, how it is to be in my situation? It would be the best if I got rid of the baby and probably you as well! You're the awful friend here, not me!"

It hurt, especially when she wasn't wrong... I had neglected her more and more in favour of Brian, but I was helping her, wasn't I? "Mary you can't mean-"  

"I do mean it!" She interrupted me. "I should never have left my parents... Charlie, I'm not made out for this life. It was fun to have job and go out with Ben, but seriously I miss my home and the luxury. It was so much easier!"

At that I got a dreadful suspicion what she could have asked of Brian."Don't tell me you- you wanted money?"

"I want my old life back! I'm sick of this! My pregnancy is starting to show and I have nothing, absolutely nothing, beside your drama. I-I can just hope my parents forgive me and take me back in."

"Mary-" I yelled out, but it was in vain. All I heard before the front door closed behind her was her angry voice. 

"I'll come back to pick my stuff up and from then on I think I prefer it if I only see Brian and your face in a newspaper."

I tried to gulp down my tears, but couldn't. Not when I felt Brian's arms around me and heard him mumble something that sounded suspiciously  like 'everything will be alright'... How could it be, when everything was such a mess and the only vision I had wanted to come true wasn't?

Thank you for reading, voting and commenting.♡♡♡

Sorry for the delay, due to some personal issues I had no time to write, and well they are still not solved yet, so updates might happen a bit more rarely, but I promise to finish this story. I think there are about 20 chapters left until the end. 

No preview, sorry. This chapter was originally longer, but I split it up, so the preview from last time is well the one for next chapter. 😟