Me, I'm just waiting so patiently
With my woman on the floor
We're just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
*

"Your painting looks good, even if I get the feeling you're at the same thing for an hour."

His breath felt hot against my neck as his arms found their way around me. Water. Suffocating. Death. He was kissing my neck slowly and I just rolled my eyes at him. It was the third time he tried to distract me from actually doing something in an hour. I might have agreed to spend some time with him, but it seemed to have a different meaning for him than it did for me. I had expected that he indeed wanted to spend time with me and not just trying to get me out of my clothes for most of it. On the other hand, it might have been really naïve of me to think, that perhaps he just wanted to talk, but how should I have known what this would really mean? And still meant in a way.

It perhaps was hugely stupid of me after everything, but I couldn't shake the idea off that Brian's feeling for me were not exactly honest. I had no real reason to distrust him, he hadn't betrayed me in any way, but it was hard to turn a blind eye on what I had witnessed since I had started to live with him and after what I've heard. I might not read any gossip magazines, but Mary did and she had always told me things about the Stones, of which I had most ignored. Blimey I hadn't even known their names really, but now I felt like parts of it were coming back and I seriously wished it would have stayed wherever I had buried it in my head. Even though the Brian that had currently wrapped his arms around me seemed to have so little in common with the one of those stories, the thought was still there. Keith might be right that I was still keeping my distance, but it wasn't that easy.

I put my brush away, sighing. I didn't really want to stop painting, but Brian didn't leave me much choice. He could be really stubborn and I had already turned him down two times today. I doubted he had a lot of patience left, meaning this was heading into a discussion I didn't want to have. My day had been so peaceful until now, to get ruined by something so stupid.

Oliver hadn't been at work and Edgar and I had somehow managed to finish up early, which resulted in me having half the day off. When I came home Brian wasn't there and I thought why shouldn't I benefit of my free time to paint. I hadn't really gotten time yet, since I had started my new job and I had missed it. I had totally forgotten how much I had enjoyed painting and I didn't want to give it up again. My joy was however rather short lived; Brian came back as soon as I had started setting everything up. At first he seemed surprised to find me painting in his kitchen, however he didn't say a word about it. Instead he sat down with a drink next to me and complained about somebody, I didn't know, but felt like I should. I didn't dare to ask him though, it seemed stupid and so I mostly kept quiet and continued to paint. Brian didn't seem to mind, maybe he was just glad to have somebody listen to him.

His ranting soon came to an end and he had apparently a better idea how I could spend my time. Usually he minded my space and I was really thankful for it. This whatever it was, was still very difficult on me and I needed time to grow accustomed to so much closeness, but time wasn't really something we had. February was coming to an end and it were a bit over 4 months left until July, which made this only harder. Every touch no matter how gentle it was, was a reminder that he might die and it hurt. I was trying to enjoy my time with him, I really was, but the fear was always there.

"I get why you don't like me touching you," Brian finally said, probably sensing my mood change. "But shouldn't it be boring by now or shouldn't you at least be used to me? How often have you seen me die now? It can't be that exciting anymore."

Exciting certainly wasn't the word I would have use, but I doubted I would achieve anything by telling him that, except maybe another useless discussion. We still didn't seem to be able to move on from that, but I supposed that was as much part of our relationship than my visions and his death were.

I sighed tiredly and gently tried to get out of his hug, but he just seemed to pull me closer as far as he could with the chair between us.

"Maybe, but it's still not really nice seeing you die all the time..." I mumbled.

"I'm sure we'll find a way," He whispered in my ear, making my skin crawl. When had he become the hopeful one of us, I wondered. It was usually my job to tell him that there was still hope, not the other way around... Even if I didn't mind it though, Brian could use to be more hopeful, maybe it would indeed change his fate. When I first met him, I had thought that hope was everything he needed and it seemed like it was working at first, but then so much had happened again and now it looked like we were back at the beginning. Or maybe not exactly there, I thought as he kissed my neck anew. "Which reminds me I still haven't given you your birthday present..." he mumbled in between.

I nearly snorted. "Really? My birthday was nearly two months ago. You shouldn't have bothered."

"Give me a moment," he said as he let go off me and hurried out of the room. I sighed and started to put my things away. There was no point in trying for a fourth time to get some time to paint and to be honest Brian had gotten me curious. I hadn't really expected of him to get me anything, especially not nearly two months later. I got up to pour myself a drink and to have a smoke, before Brian could complain. I really didn't understand him on that, whenever I only touched a glass he was already after me, but it was totally okay if he did. It was true that I had kind of neglected a lot of things in the last month, but it was no reason for him to babysit me now. I was old enough to take my own decisions and contrary to him I had no problem. Perhaps I had a drink now and then, but it wasn't like I needed one all the time. Just maybe enough to calm me down and make it easier to forget when everyone would die. Wasn't that understandable?

I was just about to put my glass into the sink, when Brian returned to the kitchen. Of course I could hardly keep it secret from him, but I could at least try to keep these stupid discussions to a minimum.

"Well it isn't much, but I felt bad for not getting you anything and for the drama I caused. You probably expected your birthday differently."

I didn't reply. What should I have said? That finding him with some girl was exactly what I wanted on my birthday? For him and for me it was the best if I just opened this gift and didn't think about anything else.

It was a small box and I already had a horrible suspicion. The bracelet he had given me for Christmas had definitely been too much and I still felt bad about it. I had worn it maybe twice and it must have been expensive. I seriously hoped his "it isn't much" meant what it was supposed to, I thought as I took the gift out of his hands.

However, it was nothing of that sort, the small box held a deck of cards and I couldn't have been more confused. I looked up at Brian who seemed highly amused by my reaction. "Tarot cards. I thought you could maybe tell me more about my future."

"Very funny," I mumbled rolling my eyes.

He chuckled and then kissed me. Water. Suffocating. Death. It was an awful sensation and even though it made no sense I pushed him of. It wasn't his fault and I didn't mind him kissing me, but not like this. I hated it, when he just did something without any warning and especially this hurt.

"I told you to touch me first if you want to kiss me or ask me at least."

Brian sighed. "Sorry this is kind of new for me... Normally nobody complains when I kiss them." I rolled my eyes again at him. "Well I have a real present for you as well." He took the carts out of my hand and put them on the table, next to my paints.

"Close your eyes."

"Do I really have to?"

Now it was Brian's turn to roll his eyes. "Can't you just do for once something I ask of you, without you having to question me? I'm not going to hurt you."

I sighed. "Alright, I'll close them."

"Was that so complicated now?"

I didn't reply and Brian didn't seem like he expected me to. I felt his hands brush my hair aside. Water. Suffocating. Death. He definitely had his hands around my neck and I sighed. This could only mean one thing and I didn't like it. Again I wondered how he got the idea that I would want jewellery, I really didn't care about those thing, so why?

"You shouldn't have..." I mumbled and opened my eyes. Brian's face was right before mine and his hands were still on my neck. I didn't want to, but I felt my cheeks becoming hot. I looked away, even if it was stupid, but I couldn't let him see how much this affected me, it was embarrassing.

"If I want to spend my money on you that's my business alright? Keith bought you one too and you didn't say anything to him!" He exclaimed and pulled my chin up and I had no other choice, but to look at him. I couldn't judge his expression, but I had a strong suspicion. Jealousy.

"That was a jok-" I started off, only to be caught off by surprise by his lips on mine. Intuitively I wanted to push him off me again, but before I could react Brian pushed me onto the table, knocking over my paints and everything else on it. I yelled out, but Brian hardly seemed bothered. He was clearly enjoying my distress.

"Stop this, you got paint all over the floor and me!"

"I suppose you have to get out of your clothes now." He smiled.

I sighed and got off the table, ignoring Brian's comment. "The kitchen looks like a mess... We-"

"Forget the kitchen. It surely can wait or I'll call somebody to clean it later." He interrupted me, taking my hand in his. Water. Suffocating. Death.

"If we don't clean it now, the paint will dry and you'll never again get it out!" I exclaimed, taking my hand away.

"I wanted to redecorate anyway," he replied shrugging.

"Why?" I frowned. This was the first time I've heard something about that and it caught me a bit off guard. His house was beautiful and it might sound heartless, but why should he need to redecorate if he was perhaps dead in 4 months? I knew it was his house and he could do what he wanted with it, but this was probably one of his least worries and it definitely could wait.

"There are things I don't like about it and anyway I'm surely not going to discuss taste with somebody who thinks black is the only adequate colour to wear. You definitely look your best undressed."

I rolled my eyes at him, trying very hard to ignore his last comment again. "Did somebody ever tell you that you are very charming?"

"All the time or why do you think I am so popular?"

I snorted. "Must be your looks or the fact that you're famous."

"Is that why you like me, because I'm so good looking and the founder of the best band in the world?" He asked raising an eyebrow, clearly amused.

"Didn't know you founded the Beatles, but sure why not and obviously because you're so humble too."

He laughed. "You really give nobody a chance, do you?"

Of course, he was right in a way and wrong in another. I tried to spend as much time as I could with him and get used to this... We even went out a few times. Nothing big, but still. I think Brian too was trying for my sake. There never were more than a handful of people around and like usual he chased them off if they ever got too close. It still was very embarrassing, but I think I started to appreciate it. He was actually doing me a huge favour and it was nice to feel like a normal person without visions. Most of February, we spend however at home, work was still as exhausting as ever and I had nothing against lazy Sundays, spend on the couch, not doing much at all.

"Is it true that your nails and your hair still grow when you die?" Brian suddenly asked.

I chuckled. Mary had asked me the same thing when we had first met and I really wondered where people got that idea from or why they expected me to know. I might work at a funeral parlour, but that doesn't mean I'm an expert on corpses. " No, that's rubbish. Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, I just wondered. I read that once and it sounded odd and I thought why not ask the expert."

"You make that sound like I go around collecting dead bodies or something. I just work at a funeral parlour, okay? That doesn't make me an expert on all things dead."

"Well you can't deny that you have a thing for death... Or maybe you're-" The bell rung and interrupted Brian. "I told them not to come..." He mumbled quietly.

"Who?" I asked as the bell rung again. Brian hadn't said a word about any guests. The whole day had been rather quiet, nearly too quiet, now that I thought about it. He hadn't offered to go somewhere, for which I had been thankful and hadn't questioned it any further, but now I grew suspicious. I probably already should have been, when he had asked me to cook something and to spend the evening at home.

It had definitely been untypical of him, but in that moment it had sounded so good, minus the cooking of course. I couldn't understand how Mary could think it was so much fun, it was a chore and nothing more. At least her results were better than mine, I wasn't especially good at cooking, so it had indeed astonished me a tad that Brian wanted me to prepare something, but I hadn't really thought to much about it, to be honest. Now I supposed he had tried to stay in no matter what cost.

"It doesn't matter..." Brian mumbled and tightened his hug on me. "They'll go away..."

"Are you trying to keep me from opening the door?"

"No..." He mumbled, clearly lying as the bell rung for the third time.

I sighed, whoever it was would indeed soon leave, if we didn't open the door and I could hardly force Brian to be polite for once and open it. I had a bad feeling about simply ignoring this. What if it was important and he missed again out on something? Or maybe I was only worrying over nothing again.

"I think you-"I started off, but never finished.

A loud knock on the living room window interrupted me and took me so much by surprise that I nearly yelled out. It was dark and I couldn't see who it was, but it seemed Brian could or maybe he only had some more knowledge on this. Whoever it was, Brian didn't seem glad about his visit. Groaning he got up from the couch and left. I wanted to follow him to find out who was outside, but staying here sounded like the safer option. Brian was obviously not in the best mood and he could be angry at whoever was at the door. I didn't need to intrude only to get yelled at by him.

I heard the front door open and immediately an angry voice after it. "I told you to stay away!"

"We already got somebody who rather stays at home with his wife and you never passed by an opportunity before, so we won't start now."

I frowned, naturally I had recognised Keith's voice, but I couldn't understand why he was here nor what he meant by pass an opportunity by. Curiosity got the best of me and I stepped out into the hallway. Right before the door where Charlie and Keith. For a second I wondered where Mick and Bill were, but I doubted they always had to be together somewhere.

"Hey Charlie," Keith yelled out the second he saw me. "Sorry if we interrupted something."

"Ehh... You didn't?" I replied a bit unsure at Keith's tone. Were Brian and I supposed to do something special today I wondered, understanding less and less.

"So no birthday surprises?" Keith laughed. "You do have the worst of lucks, don't you?"

Brian grumbled something I didn't hear, but I hadn't really tried to as well. I was occupied with a different thought. "Birthday?"

I bid my lip, dreading the reply. Brian had claimed that he didn't know anything about me, but I supposed I didn't know that much about him either. There were probably people out there that knew more about him than I did, even though they had never met him and I've been living with him for 3 or 4 months. It was hard to tell how long this was going on, but apparently not long enough for me to know Brian's birthday.

"Somehow it doesn't surprise me that Brian didn't tell you," Keith said shaking his head. "That just sounds-"

"But I did tell you to stay away!" Brian interrupted him.

"Come on, let us just have a drink and we're gone, alright? You're really getting boring..." Keith offered.

"Brian, that's the least you can do," I said before he could try to throw them out again, which surely wouldn't have helped whatever relationship they still had and it would have been immensely rude. They just wanted to wish him for his birthday and all he did was yell at them to leave.

I heard him sigh and mutter an "Alright" before he finally let them step in. Keith immediately was off to the kitchen and Brian was right after him, leaving me alone with Charlie. I wanted to ask him why Brian was so against celebrating his birthday, but I doubted he knew. It had sounded like Brian never had a problem in the past with it and in all honesty I couldn't see him either passing this simply by. There had to be another reason, something Brian had probably not shared with anyone.

Of course, I could always try to ask him later on, when Keith and Charlie had left, even though I didn't really expect him to tell me anthing and I started to wonder if I shouldn't just drop it. It was his business if he celebrated it or not, not mine. Still I was curious.

"Eh... Sorry for Brian and well thanks for the visit, we can sit down in the living room, if you want? I would ask what you would like to drink, but I suppose Keith is one ahead of me," I finally got out after what felt like an eternity. I really had to stop overthinking everything.

"Thank you and well we really didn't mean to interrupt, at least I didn't. It just seemed impolite not to wish him. I would have called, but apparently he turned off the phone."

I nearly groaned. Indeed, it had been kind of odd that nobody had called, but I rarely got or made a call anyway and it had slipped my mind like so much had today. I probably was starting to get used to that so much made no sense that I no longer questioned it.

"I'm sorry I didn't know."

"It's not your fault."

I didn't really know what to reply to that. Charlie was next to Mick the one I had been in contact the least and he was a lot more reserved, which made it harder for me to talk to him. With Keith or Brian, I didn't need to say a lot, but with him I actually needed to hold a conversation or it would get awkward and it was already starting to be. I seriously hoped the other two wouldn't take too long.

"Ehh... we can go to the living room and wait for Keith and Brian, if you like?"

"Thanks," he replied.

I nodded and went ahead. Charlie was right after me and took a seat opposite of the couch where Brian and I had only sat a few moments ago. I reclaimed my seat there and again wished for the other two to return. Not that I had a problem with Charlie, I was just not used to him and had no idea what to say to him.

"I said one glass, okay? The faster you shut up, the faster we're gone."

I heard Keith say as they entered the living room. Brian still looked anything but happy and I really wondered how he could have expected Keith to actually listen to him. Telling Keith not to do something, probably sounded like an invitation to him.

Keith handed Charlie a drink, before he sat down next to me and Brian's expression seemed even less amused than a moment before. I couldn't understand why he didn't see that Keith was only doing this to tease him and Brian was even doing him a favour by falling for it.

"Give the lady her glass and we'll cheer," Keith ordered and for once Brian did as he was told even if he still kept on glaring at Keith when he sat down next to him.

"Cheers and all the best to our annoying friend, who seems to forget all about his lovely mates for an even lovelier girl," Keith announced, winking at me and I nearly spit out my drink. Did he really have to keep this up all the time, I wondered.

Charlie sighed. "You promised not to tease him, move over and let him sit with her or I fear you won't even turn 27."

"Spoilsport, but well it's his day and I'm nice," Keith said and got up. It didn't even take Brian a second to move over and put his arm around me. Water. Suffocating. Death.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" I then asked him. I probably should have waited until Keith and Charlie had left, but I was to curious to wait. He had been so angry at me for not telling him about it and then he did the exact same thing to me. I just hoped it was no silly plan off him to make me feel guilty.

Brian just shrugged. "You didn't tell me about yours either and it isn't that important anyway."

Keith laughed. "You didn't know her birthday? Why doesn't it surprise me? No wonder you were so hostile towards me when I came around. I th-"

"Maybe I would just prefer if you stayed away from her? Anyway can you shut up, drink and leave?" Brian interrupted him.

"Don't be mean and usually you're not that boring or do you have specials plan for tonight?" Keith said and wiggled his eyebrows. Brian's hold on me tightened and I just sighed.

"That's no concern of you..."

"Well if you don't, you can always lend me her for a night."

"Keith, I think you had your fun at his expense. No shut it." Charlie intervened and I was really thankful that he was here as well. I wasn't sure if I could have dealt with these two on my own, at least I didn't want to. It was crystal clear that Keith was only doing this to provoke Brian and Brian being easy to anger, off course had to fall for it.

"You're all starting to get unfunny. All serious and everything. So Brian when is the wedding?" Keith asked. I choked on my drink and started coughing, which was Keith's clue to burst out laughing. This time I glared at him, when I had calmed down again.

"I guess that wasn't the right question then, but I'm just curious Charlie Jones got a nice ring to it don't you think...?" Keith seemed to get lost in thought for a moment when he started up laughing again. "If Charlie married Watts, they would both be Charlie Watts. Bloody hell that I didn't thought about that earlier. That's bloody hilarious." I shook my head at him and sighed.

"First I have a wife and second contrary to you I'm not after woman who are clearly already taken, but I hate to admit that it is a tad amusing," Charlie said smiling.

"Remember me, not to invite them if we do get married," Brian mumbled towards me and for the second time this evening I choked on my drink. He seriously was scaring me with this random marriage talks. What was wrong with him? Was he seriously considering to settle down or was this only some strange side effect because somebody had hit him over the head? I sighed that might indeed explain a few things, I thought.

"Wait does that mean you're seriously thinking about marrying her?" Keith had stopped his laughing and he looked as shocked as I felt.

Brian just shrugged and I think I probably was as white as a sheet. Keith and Charlie seemed startled as well and it got really quiet for a moment until Keith cleared his throat.

"Well neither did you invite us to your birthday and still we are here! Come on, Charlie let's have another drink. Usually you're the first to finish up and now you're even slower than Watts over there or does marrying Brian scare you so much that you can't drink anymore? I thought for that you needed as much alcohol as one could get."

"That would only be the case if I would be marrying you," I mumbled.

Keith burst out laughing again and the situation visibly relaxed. "Alright I stop, if even Charlie's after me. Anyway I think I'll have another drink." Keith said and disappeared towards the kitchen, before anyone could object.

"I thought he said one drink..." Brian grumbled.

Charlie shook his head. "Did you really believe him on that? Well I think I'll head home. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

He put his glass on the table and got up to leave. Brian did as well. "It's fine, you weren't really disturbing unlike somebody else."

I could have sworn Brian was glaring at the direction of the kitchen, but even without it, it was rather obvious whom he had meant. Charlie cracked a smile. "You'll get your present on Monday. Keith didn't let me drive home to get it."

"It's fine. Thanks" Brian said and hugged Charlie. I smiled, it looked like Brian had at least somebody left in the band with whom his relationship wasn't strained. On the other hand, Charlie seemed like somebody who could never say anything bad about anybody.

They let go off each other and I lamely waved at Charlie, before he left. Brian sat back down next to me on the couch with a relieved sigh. I chuckled. Water. Suffocating. Death. He had his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

"You really should have said something about your birthday..."

"What for? So that you could have bought me a present? I know something I would appreciate a lot more and it doesn't cost a thing. All we have to do is get rid of Keith, I don't expect you want him to watch."

"Brian!"

He laughed, looking more amused than he should be. "You know you're very easy to tease."

"Thanks..." I replied sarcastically.

"It's actually nice. You're always so distant and it's refreshing to see that you have emotions too. Can I kiss you?" He asked but was already leaning in.

"Keith is still here..." I whispered just as his lips touched mine. I knew I should have immediately pushed him off, but I didn't really want to. Usually the vision made the decision easier, however whenever I hadn't one it seemed so much harder. It felt so good and there was nothing I wanted more than to feel alright, at ease, comfortable and at the same time it was exciting, new and so much more. I seriously hoped Brian felt the same way... As if he had known what I was thinking about, he deepened the kiss and nothing else seemed to matter to me anymore, until I heard somebody loudly whistle from somewhere behind us and Brian and I immediately broke apart. I probably blushed a horrible shade of red and looked away. One might think I could have gotten used to this by now, but I hardly was comfortable with the thought of Brian and I together.

"You really can't keep away from each other, can you?" Keith said smiling.

"And you are all over her all the time, even though you perfectly know that she's with me..." Brian remarked annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. "And you do realise he just does that to annoy you?"

Keith laughed as he sat down on the chair Charlie had previously occupied, opposite of me and Brian. "As amusing as this is I have a serious question for you both. Do you still need the acid I found in your kitchen?"

I furrowed my brows. "Since when do we have acid in the kitchen?"

Brian shrugged and Keith just laughed. "Is that a yes or a no? I would offer to share it, but considering Charlie doesn't do it and you're trying to get your shit together, I don't think that's a good idea."

I could see that Brian was thinking about it and I wondered when the last time had been he had taken something. He had told me he had stopped and I hadn't witnessed him doing anything, but that didn't mean that he wasn't taking them behind my back.

"I-I- No you can have it."

Keith seemed surprised and I let go off a breath I didn't know I was holding. Brian's visions might still look bad, but with everything we got out of the way we would come closer to his real problem and maybe finally figure out a way to save him, at least I hoped so.

"Okay and I doubt Charlie wants any as well? Except if you want to see death everywhere again."

I nearly had forgotten about this incident. It seemed so long ago and so unimportant in a way, even though it had scared me so much in that moment... Death. So much death... And still it had told me something I hadn't known before, and I wondered if it maybe would again? It was a risk and there was no chance that it would play out exactly like last time. I could just end up high and not seeing anything at all, but as long as there was a small hope that my visions might show me some little detail I didn't know about the future, I had to try. Our time was coming short and I didn't want it to end with his death. There had to be some other ending for this story.

"No, she doesn't!" Brian loudly exclaimed, pulling me out of my line of thoughts. It confused me at first, until I realised that he had probably thought about the same thing than I had, only that he had come to a totally different decision.

"But maybe-"

"No."

"You can't forbid me from trying. It's my choice!"

"I don't care. Keith go and take it with you! "He yelled at Keith, who had quietly remained in his seat until now sipping on his glass. Apparently not daring to interrupt my and Brian's fight, which was a clever move from his side. I wasn't sure if Keith fully understood what this was about, but he had to have some vague idea and depending on what he might have said Brian could have figured out that he knew more than he should, which I couldn't use at all. He would be horribly mad at me and I would have understood why. It was his death, his business, not Keith's, even if I had only been trying to help him, it still should have been Brian's choice who he wanted to tell and who not.

"Brian, let her if she wants to. She's right it's her choice, where's your problem? Maybe it would even help you calm down a bit. I'll just leave it here, you both can figure out on your own what to do. Well I'm off, depending on how this turns out I don't want to be here to witness the result" Keith said and sat up, but before he left us indeed on our own, he went over to me and hugged me. Old. Death.

"I'm not sure if I really understand what you're trying to achieve, but good luck." He whispered in my ear and I seriously hoped Brian hadn't heard him.

"Bye," he said louder as he let go off me and went off. We heard the door close and it got quiet. I wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad sign. Brian was clearly thinking about it, judging from his face and all I could do was hope that he would change his mind.

"Are you really sure about this?"

"It's worth a try, isn't it?"

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Preview:

I was outside Brian's house by the pool, the lights were on, but it still was dark and I couldn't see much except the illuminated pool. Everything in me screamed at me to run off, but I couldn't. Instead I stepped closer and I nearly expected to see Brian's lifeless body. The pool was empty however and I had no idea what scared me more that it hadn't happened yet or that I perfectly know what still was to come.I shuddered and pulled whatever it was I wore closer to me.