*
What's different about her? I don't really know
No matter how I try I just can't make her cry
Cause she'll never break, never break, never break, never break
This heart of stone
*

I went to work, had a drink with Mary, came back home and spend the evening with Brian. I had no idea what he did during the day and I didn't ask nor did he tell me. It was his business and it wasn't like we were really dating or anything. A few times he left in the evenings too and I supposed he went out drinking or maybe meet up with the others. He asked me a few times to go with him, but I mostly declined. Contrary to him I needed to get up in the morning and work, even if he really couldn't understand why I did. It just seemed pointless to him and no matter how often I tried to tell him that I needed something normal and regular in my life, he just gave me the impression that the only thing I was accomplishing was wasting my breath.

Still this arrangement kind of forced me to spend time with him and even if we had a somewhat rocky start, I had to admit he wasn't usually that bad. He had his moods and was over all probably not the most easy-going person, but in his defence neither was I. We argued often and mostly about the most ridiculous things, but he didn't throw me out again. We both tried. He because his life depended on it and I because I wanted to do for once the right thing and not hide away my whole life. It was a good feeling to know that I could actually make a change.

The vision where he died in a few months was still present, but it became less and less. I think all he had needed was a helping hand or some kind of warning to get him back on track. He still did drugs and it would have been highly unrealistic if he had just stopped in a blink of an eye, but I think he was less involved than before. He really was trying. His eyes had always seemed so sad and broken, but now you could see something else as well: Hope.

I would be lying if I said that I hadn't become attached to him in the time I had been staying at. It was nice coming home to somebody and to talk to someone besides Mary, who actually knew my secret. Brian was complicated, but a nice guy and I definitely started to like him. And that scared me.

Brian just seemed like a huge risk. His death was omnipresent and his moods sometimes abruptly changed and I couldn't really deal with that. Another thing was something that I hadn't really thought about, but Mary had. It was during one of our after work drinks, when she asked me how I felt about him probably cheating on me. It had never entered even my mind, because we weren't a couple to start with, so why should it bother me what he was doing in his free time? As far as I could see him sleeping with somebody, wouldn't lead to his death and was therefore no concern of mine.

However it got me wondering what would be if one of us did get feelings for the other? Even if I strongly doubted this would ever be the case, because of the way he was and the way I was, but still there was no guarantee that it wouldn't happen. I knew I would probably not be able to handle that. I wasn't the best with feelings anyway and his future still didn't look very promising. All a romantic relationship could bring was heartache. Furthermore the chances of one between him and me becoming reality seemed just too slim. I wasn't attracted to him, nor was he too me. It just wouldn't happen and Brian didn't give me the impression that he really wanted me as his girlfriend. He had hit on me, yes, but it seemed to me more like he would have no problem sleeping with me, because I was there and not because he had any special feelings for me and he wasn't holding back either. He had called me unattractive and I had no idea what more, it didn't bother me. because his opinion on that was of no interest of mine. I was trying to help him survive and not trying to get him to sleep with me. Besides he seemed to get enough entertainment on his own without me.

One day I had come back early. Mr Evan had needed to leave and Ben and me got the afternoon off. When I entered Brian's home, I could hear definitely suspicious sounds. I shrugged it off and made me something to eat and to drink and tried to ignore the noises by turning the radio on. I could have left, but I was lazy and I didn't really see why I should leave besides that it was awkward to listen to. It was maybe his house and he could do what he wanted to, but I lived now here too and I had every right to be here as well. As for his privacy, it wasn't like I was spying in on him and I honestly really had no interest in doing so. All I hoped was that they finished quick and I could stop pretending that I wasn't hearing anything.

I was still in the kitchen, when his conquest came down, she was probably looking for something to drink. She looked a bit startled when she saw me, she probably wasn't expecting somebody to be here.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked her.

She was still looking somewhat surprised at me, as if she wasn't really sure if I was real or not, but then she cleared her throat. "Eh... yes, thank you." I gave her a glass and purred her something. "So are you working for Brian?" But before I could answer, Brian came in. His clothes were hastily put on and his hair was a mess, even if I hadn't heard them, his appearance made it more than obvious what he's been up to. At least the girl seemed to have put more effort in putting her clothes back on.

"Here you are. I-"He stopped midsentence when he saw me. He looked honestly surprised and I thought there was something else, but I had no idea what it could have been. "Charlie? I thought you were at work?"

I shrugged. "Finished earlier and got send home."

"Then you could go out with me tonight?" He asked, totally ignoring the girl with us in the kitchen. She had paled at least three skin tones, probably realising that I wasn't Brian's maid, but something way different.

I shook my head. "I still have to work tomorrow."

"We could at least go out eating or something." He offered.

"I guess." I said and lit myself a cigarette.

"Alright. Well I still got things to do and oh-"Now he finally looked at the girl, who gave me the impression that she would rather be anywhere but here. " you know where the door is."

I rolled my eyes and the girl bid her lip, but before she could complain. Brian had disappeared again. I sighed, his behaviour was low, but it wasn't my place to say anything. He could do what he wanted to. "So you're his girlfriend?" She sounded sad. She probably had hoped that something more would come out of this, only to have those hopes crashed rather cruelly. I pitied her somewhat of course it was stupid to think Brian would fall head over heels for her after just meeting her. Life wasn't a fairy tale, but she still had feelings and he had walked all over them.

"Something like that." I replied.

"Doesn't it bother you that he cheats on you and everything? You're just sitting here and even offering me something, while I was- I feel horrible..." She mumbled.

I sighed. "There's no need, really. It's okay."

She furrowed her eyebrows, she probably wasn't believing me and well it probably did sound strange. "Really? I mean I don't mean to pry, but I couldn't just shrug it off if the man I loved slept with somebody different while I was there... I can hardly stand that he turned me down, but well it was rather obvious I guess... I'm so stupid. Why should somebody like him be interested in me? Especially when he already has somebody at home..."

She was right, from that point of view, it really must look a bit odd and I could hardly tell her that Brian was not really the man I loved either. "I'm sorry, Brian can be an ass sometime, but you shouldn't put yourself down so much. I'm sure you'll find somebody who really loves you. There are more where he came from." And probably better ones as well, I added in my mind.

She chuckled. "Thank you and well sorry again. You're really nice and understanding and I just slept with your boyfriend... I really feel bad about that."

I shook my head. "It's okay. Really, don't think too much about it." And then I said something that Mary once said to me, I thought would probably lift the mood a bit. "It's just Brian Jones, he's not Mick Jagger."

She laughed. "Thanks... Eh I better get my stuff." And with that she left. I started tidying up the kitchen. I was nearly finished, when Brian entered again.

"Sorry about that..." He mumbled, even though I doubted that he was.

"I am not the one you should have apologized to." He frowned. "You weren't very friendly with her." I pointed out.

He shrugged. "It was just a one night stand there's no need for politeness or anything."

I rolled my eyes. "Still you could have been a bit nicer about it than throwing her just out." I said, but I felt like this was a lost cause.

He smiled. "Maybe, but then you couldn't have called me an asshole."

I shook my head. "Let me guess you heard the whole thing?"

"Pretty much, so tell me when did you have the honour to be in Mick's company?" Brian raised his eyebrows.

"Didn't it cross your mind maybe once that I didn't find you attractive either and would rather spend my time with somebody else?" I retorted.

He smiled. "Then I'm sorry to inform you that you're not Mick's type and anyway you're my girlfriend remember?"

I groaned. "Didn't you have things to do?"

He laughed. "You're really no fun, want to have a smoke with me?" I just shook my head and he went off again. "You know if you were a bit less stiff, you wouldn't have had to deal with the girl." I could hear him say, but I didn't reply.

Brian sometimes said things like that, but I ignored it for the most part and still Mary's words kept ringing in my head. What if I do fall for him, even if the chances were low? Would I still be able to shrug everything off? Probably not and it surely wouldn't be right. I mean he was paying for me... No that sounded wrong, but he was in some way, wasn't he? Even if it was only my rent, the clothes, food etc. The only thing I was buying nowadays were train tickets and lunch. It had been a compromise, a security for me, but somehow it made me feel cheap. I probably would have tried to help him, even if he wouldn't be paying, but not like I was now... I would have spent some time with him, if he wanted too, and hoped for the best, but I surely wouldn't be staying at his...

The only thing lifting my mood was the thought that I at least seemed to help him and he surely could live without the bit of money that was my rent... I was still surprised that alone my presence seemed to make such a change. I supposed he needed someone who was here no matter what and could understand him and didn't put him down as crazy nor judge him in any way, but that surely couldn't be everything, could it? Or maybe I only wanted to see the bad things? This arrangement was good for the two of us.

Beside the money I was saving, this gave me more freedom than I ever had. Mary had a place to stay and wasn't forced into something she didn't want. I liked to have someone around, I felt normal and Brian wasn't so bad usually. He had his moments of course, but besides that I could live with him. Actually it only got bad if we went out.

I didn't really understand why, when we were at his, he let me do my stuff and I didn't mind his business too much. We spent time together yes, but we weren't together 24 hours. However when we went out, Brian held onto me like if he let go once I would run away. I didn't really understand why, I had promised to stay with him if he respected me and my wishes and he was, so there was no reason why I should run off, at least from my point of view. The worst was however, whenever somebody was about to touch me, he pushed them away and told the person not to touch me. At first I thought he wanted to be considerate, because he knew of my gift, but after the third time, it was just getting impolite and I felt guilty for those around. It wasn't their fault I was the way I was nor was it that Brian treated them like this... 

I had managed my whole life and didn't need him now defending me or whatever he was trying to do. I really wanted to tell him off, but besides that Brian was impolite as hell, it actually was nice to be honest. I couldn't just tell somebody off for touching me, but Brian had no problem with it. I felt guilty for those people, but it was really too comfortable to pass by and I let him continue without complaining. It wasn't like it happened all the time either, I just accompanied him maybe on 4 or 5 occasions, if you didn't count going out to eat.

The 11th December was coming closer and closer and to say that Mary had been excited would be an understatement, she was over the moon. I was too to a degree, but probably not as much as her. It was also the first time I was going to see Keith again after he had picked me up from Brian's. We had talked over the phone, but somehow he seemed a bit wary of me. He had turned a few invitations from me down to have a drink and every time I went out with Brian I never saw anybody of his band. I could understand that he didn't want to spend every minute with them, but after Bill's morning visit I hadn't seen one of them again. Brian didn't even mention them, like he had nothing to do with them. We had talked a lot about different topics. He had told me about travels, concerts, people he had met and of course how he had formed the Stones and everything, but he only mentioned the past. Mick, Keith, Charlie and Bill were like ghosts, but not the people he was actually working with. I didn't ask nor comment on it, I had heard enough to know that it was a touchy subject and judging how he had handled these in the past before, I tried not to force him to talk about them. If he wanted to, I was there and I think that was enough for him at the time, even if I was dead curious and wondered why Keith was keeping his distance as well, when it had before sounded like I would be his new best friend or maybe I was only overanalysing things again, but I had a feeling there was more behind it.

Therefore I had more than one reason, being nervous on the 11th. First it was the first more official thing I attended with Brian, since we made our deal. The press was strangely quiet about it, beside the one article Mary had shown me, there was just nothing. I never had thought much about it, but wasn't something like Brian Jones having a new girlfriend a topic you should write something about maybe? Not that I'm complaining that they left me alone, I just found it surprising. Secondly, Keith was acting funny and I couldn't really see why. When he had taken me home, everything had seemed alright and now he gave me the impression that he well still liked having me around, but that something was different. I suspected that Brian had something to do with it, but I couldn't be sure and I definitely didn't want to ask him. The third point was Mary, she was so excited that she made me nervous as well. Even then I just really wished for this show to be done with without  knowing what was about to happen.

Ugh.. you can't imagine how hard writing that was... Well I'll make it short this time around: Thanks for reading, voting & commenting! 

Preview for the next chapter: 

"Well Hi..." Bill said a bit awkwardly and cleared his throat. "Eh... actually I just wanted to say sorry about you know, but well if there ever is a problem, the offer still stands."

I nodded. "Thanks, Bill, but everything is fine." He looked a bit surprised. "Really." I assured him.

He shrugged. "Well if there is something I can do for you, just ask."

"Thanks... But I don't think-"I stopped. Actually he could help me or at least Mary. "Eh... if you could tell me where Keith is, that would be nice and well Mary would really like to meet the Who and you probably know them better than I do."