When the sun goes down
Ain't nobody else around
That's when I'm all by myself
That's when I need your lovin' darlin'
That's when I need you so bad
*

Mary had calmed down a bit after we had sat down in the living room and had talked. Currently she nearly seemed more relaxed than I was. Thereby nothing exactly had changed for me, she was pregnant and her plans for the future had taken a drastic turn, whereas mine still looked as they had from the very start or maybe they did indeed look worse.

I wanted so badly to drink something stronger, but even though Brian was gone, it was now Mary's turn to nag me about it. Apparently as long as I didn't get my results back I shouldn't drink anything stronger than wine and out of sympathy to her I shouldn't be drinking at all.

In the end we still had a bottle of wine, but it seemed wrong to have conversation without drinking anything. Mary filled me in on the details of her relationship with Ben, surprisingly I hadn't missed that much and still I felt guilty for how ignorant I had been acting towards her. In the past she had talked about her life evenings and evenings and now I kind of had no idea what went on with her, because I had been so occupied with Brian. It made feel bad, but Brian's time was running out and Mary still had so much left...

I tried to concentrate as good as I could on her and Ben, but it was hard when my thoughts always drifted back to Brian. I knew Ben would forgive her and marry her, so I wasn't that worried. Of course I couldn't tell her that... All I could was to be as motivating as I could without raising her suspicions.

Well I tried until Brian came back. I heard the keys turn and I nearly wanted to jump up to run to him, but that would have been ridiculous. I forced myself to remain where I was, but I could see Mary giggling and I knew that my relief that he had come back had been more than obvious. I tried to glare at her, but it made her only laugh harder.

"I suppose I should go now," she said in between laughs. "I don't want to get caught up in anything when he gets his hands on you, "she added with a wink just as Brian entered the room. He frowned at her, but didn't say anything. I suspected he didn't want to talk with me as long as she was here, but I didn't want her to go. It was late and I didn't want to leave her on her own. She needed a friend and even though I was probably not the best, I was the best she currently had.

"You can stay, just give us a moment," I offered.

Mary raised her eyebrows and looked doubtfully between Brian and me. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said nodding, not sure if I was reassuring her or myself with it.

"Well then I'm going to have a look at your fridge, I suppose I need to eat for two now," she said and patted my knee before she left. Old. Death. Heart attack. Pain. Death. I let a breath out when I got out of the visions, it definitely would take me some time to get used to this.

I emptied my glass before I put it back on the table and looked up at Brian who still stood near the entrance of the living room nearly as if he was waiting for something, an apology probably.

"I'm sorry that I missed dinner," I said sighing. I should have informed him that I wasn't coming home, but Mary had kind of surprised me with her sudden appearance that he had slipped my mind for a minute and anyway the dinner seemed so futile in comparison to everything else that was going on.

Brian bit his lip and I seriously wondered why he had overreacted so much earlier. There just had to be another reason. "It's fine... I- " He mumbled and then stopped sighing. "She's pregnant?" he asked gesturing to the kitchen.

I simply nodded.

Brian clearly wanted to say something, but his unease about it was very visible and it got quiet between us for a few instants. "That means they're coming true?" he finally said.

"It looks that way..."I mumbled wishing I could have told him something more hopeful.

At first Brian didn't react, but then he punched the wall with so much force that it made me jump. He cursed even if I wasn't sure if it was out of pain or because of something else. He had said he had accepted his fate, but apparently not... On the other hand, how could somebody ever be ready to die? It just came when our time run out without any sympathy.

"Brian..." I started and got up to move closer, but stopped right in front of him. He wasn't looking at me and his fist was still clenched. I wanted to reach out to him, but I wasn't sure if he wanted me to." There's still time, we- "

Brian mumbled something at which I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly, because that what I had heard couldn't be true or maybe I simply didn't want it to be.

"I-I- Let's sit down and try to calm down," I said and reached out for his hand, but he pulled it away and turned towards me.

"Leave," he said with a stronger voice this time and looked directly at me.

My eyes widened in surprise and my breath caught. Unsure I looked at Brian, who seemed so serious that it scared me. I think I even took a step backwards, but more distance between us sounded suddenly so much safer. Not that I was scared of him, but this situation did.

"I-I- Why?" I senselessly babbled, after a short silence that had nearly felt like an eternity.

"There's no reason for you to stay, is there? I'm going to die and don't tell me I am not, I'm not stupid and you're a bad liar. I can't believe this 'everything will turn out it in the end' talk anymore, while you look at me like you're in pain. I don't need this... "He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. "No, I don't need you, I thought you were useful, but you aren't, so you can just leave again."

"No, I- Brian You can't mean this. You told me you wanted me to stay," I plraded, sounding ridiculous and desperate even to my own ears.

"I lied. Why should I want you? You're unattractive, boring, stiff, hell even the sex with you is bad."

Even though there still had been some small part of me who had suspected this, it hurt to hear him voice it. I bid my lip, forcing myself not to say anything, because I didn't trust my voice nor myself. My reason tried to tell that he was just saying these things to get rid of me, but at the moment my emotional side seemed to be stronger. I had probably locked it up for so long that now I couldn't push it aside anymore. Pandora's box was open and I doubted I could close it any time soon.

"You fucking asshole," Mary exclaimed and slapped him across the face. I had no idea where she had appeared so fast from and neither seemed Brian. He looked surprised at first until he snapped out of it and pushed her off him, but Mary didn't seem finished with him. "Only because you're famous you think you can treat her like that? You don't earn her even for a minute, she's always defending you and for what? For you to treat her like shit? You're the worst," she yelled.

Brian snorted. "You have no idea what this is even about, so stay out of it or even better you could leave."

Mary crossed her arms before her chest and glared at him. "Trust me I will. Come Charlie let's go."

At her last words she moved towards me and was about to reach out for me, but I stepped aside. His comment had hurt, more than I wanted to admit, but running away wouldn't solve anything. We would just go around in circles again. If I had learned one thing it was that neither he nor I could stay away from each other and sooner or later we would give it another try, which I didn't want. I maybe couldn't cheat death, but I could at least stay here and try for mine and his sake.

"No," I exclaimed with a strong voice, I wasn't sure where it had come from. Mary looked at first surprised, but then she started to frown.

"You can't tell me you want to stay with him after that? He's definitely not worth all this trouble. You surely can find somebody better. Blimey the next person you meet outside is probably already a better choice than him!"

"Mary please, just give us a moment." My voice was still awfully calm, more than I felt, but maybe because for once I wasn't ignoring or overwhelmed by my feelings, but instead I had accepted them.

She sighed. "I swear if this is some weird kink between you two, you're even more complicated than I thought, but okay I suppose I can sleep in your room. If you don't turn up, I know what's going on then."

Mary left without another word, but I suppose she didn't need any more. She had made her point pretty clear, even if she couldn't have been more wrong. I nearly wished that our fighting was really nothing more than some strange kink between us, it would have been so much easier...

Brian wasn't looking at me, but I could see he was angry. I was too, but mostly I just felt desperate. Even if I suspected Brian had only told me those things to get rid of me for whatever reason, they hurt. He had exactly voiced what some part of me had been fearing all this time and it was so hard to ignore it, especially when the silence between us wasn't helping. We needed to talk, but no one of us seemed to know where to start.

Brian didn't want to hear that everything was going to be alright in the end and he was right it was stupid of me to lie if I knew what our choices were... At least if Brian had said the truth earlier, the choice was an easier one.

I took a deep breath. "You're right, this won't end well, but if you really don't love me, then there's indeed a way for you to survive."

Brian looked at me frowning and I had no idea why, but his questioning look hurt somehow. "What do you mean?"

"You can't cheat death, Brian. If you don't die, then somebody else has to."

His eyes widened and I could see him put the pieces together. "You don't mean...?"

I nodded. "I do. I have nothing and apparently I have even less than I first thought... I'll die and you can have your long life."

"No!" he exclaimed loudly and clenched his fist again. I nearly feared he would punch the wall again as well, but he didn't move an inch. He just stood there shocked, enraged and looked at me in a way that made me tremble. I wasn't exactly sure why it made me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't care about that now anyway. "You're not giving up your life for me!"

"You saved my life back in November, so I can pay you back for that. It's okay," I said and took a step closer to him, wanting nothing more than for him to understand that no matter what would happen that I would stay with him.

"No... You can't do that. I-I" He stammered and moved away from me. He still looked defensive, but I could see his resolve was breaking.

"Brian you wanted to use me then do, I'm-"

"No fuck it," He interrupted me. "Why can't you never act like I want you to? You should have been mad at me and left with Mary, but instead you want to sacrifice yourself for me? Charlie, please go."

Another step.

"Please," he nearly begged.

He didn't move away anymore and I hugged him. This time he didn't move away, but instead returned it, making me smile, even if I nearly felt like crying as well, especially when I heard his next words.

"I lied," he whispered in my ear and there were no words to describe how relieved I felt. It might have been easier if he had told the truth earlier, but I no longer cared about that. All I wanted was to be with him and that thought might have scared me even more than the future did.

"I-I I love you and I don't want to let you go, but it would be for the best, wouldn't it?" Brian asked as if he had heard my thoughts and I blinked the tears away that were about to escape my eyes.

"Who knows? I'm starting to think we're fucked whatever we do, so can't we at least to do what feels like the best? I- You told me to stop pushing you away and I will, but I don't want you to start with it now. I love you as well and I want to stay with you."

Brian sighed and tightened his hug on me. "I don't want you to witness me die nor do I want you to die..."

"It's life, Brian que sera sera, whatever will be will be," I replied.

He seemed surprised and let go off me a bit. His arms were still on me, but there was now enough distance between us that I could have looked into his face, if I had wanted too. "Doris Day? Really?"

"My grandmother liked the song, I found it stupid in all honesty, but maybe it isn't so wrong..."I mumbled a bit embarrassed.

I thought I could nearly feel him smile. "Of course for somebody that sees the future this must indeed sound stupid. You know what will be..." Brian stopped and took a deep breath. "So one of us has to die, that's why you've been so distraught isn't it?"

I only nodded, unsure of what else to reply to him. I didn't know if it had been a good idea to tell him, but I had just wanted to make him understand how much he meant to me and that I wouldn't leave him no matter what...

"Fuck... This is so messed up and there's really no other way?" Brian asked and I wanted to tell him there was, but lying wouldn't help me nor him. I looked at his face into his eyes that held a flicker of hope and it hurt to see it die right before me when I shook my head.

"And what do we do now? I don't want to die, but I can't sacrifice you..." he mumbled looking away.

"But that would be for the best and I owe you my life..."

"The best?" His hold on me tightened and his eyes were back on me and had such a fierce look in them that I wanted to desperately step backwards, but he was holding me where I was. "Why should your death be for the best?"

"You can have the life you wanted, I can't and letting me live would just be a waste." Now it was my turn to look away.

"Your life is not a waste."

"It isn't, if I can use it to save somebody. Brian, everyone around me dies and I don't want to witness it. The only person I have is Mary, who might miss me, but she will move on from it. You have so much more in your life and it would be a waste if you gave it up for me, please," I nearly begged and tried to get out of his grip.

"I can't accept that. You- you- I love you," he said as he pulled me closer and kissed me. It was as sudden and unexpected as it felt liberating. It was hard for me to fully let go after years of staying away from any emotions, but Brian always seemed to be able to get me to or to find my moment of weakness. Maybe it was wrong of me that I only gave into him when I was an emotional mess, but that was the exact time when I really wanted and needed him. He made me feel so much better and that was all I wanted. For a moment I didn't care about the future at all and just enjoyed being with him...

"Maybe Mary isn't so wrong..." I mumbled more to myself than him as he lit himself and me a cigarette. I wasn't very fond of smoking in bed, but at the moment I didn't really care.

"Hmm?" I think I heard Brian mumble.

"She said that we always fight, only to sleep with each other in the end."

Brian laughed, even if I couldn't see what was so funny about it. "That's only you. I would have you anytime."

"So it isn't bad then?" As soon as the question had left my lips, I wanted to take it back, especially as soon as I saw Brian's obvious amusement about my comment.

"I told you, you were ugly, stiff and so on, but you're worried about the sex?" I pulled a face and wanted to hide under the sheets when I saw him laugh. "No it isn't, to answer your question. Now that I've answered yours you need to answer me one." I sighed, but Brian continued to talk before I could object. "Were you serious when you said you would give up your life for me?"

"Yes?" I asked frowning. Surprised that he was doubting me, I had no idea why but the idea that Brian was questioning my love for him seemed odd and I had to admit it hurt a bit as well. I had never been dishonest with him, so why should I now?

"I-I It's just so unbelievable..." he mumbled and lay back on the bed. Eyes cast towards the ceiling and something seemed suddenly very off about him, even if I couldn't tell what.  Was it really that astonishing that I loved him? I mean I could hardly have been the first to tell him that. "Most people don't even want to sit in the same car with me and you would go that far?"

"I-I suppose I would..."

Abruptly he sat up to look at me and again I had troubles judging exactly what was on his mind. Whatever it was it made me suddenly very nervous.

"Marr-" he stopped and I thought he was blushing, but that seemed so wrong. Why should he be? He coughed as if he wanted to cover it up, before he spoke again. "Maybe you're right and I should leave the Rolling Stones."

My eyes widened at his sudden topic change. I had no idea what Brian had wanted to say, but this surely wasn't what he had in mind and it sounded like one of his horribly spontaneous ideas again.

"Brian you can't just leave them, they are your band. I was rather thinking about something along the lines that you sort your problems out and not this... Please think about it again."

"Maybe, but perhaps I need to start over, have something new on my mind and just get rid of the others. Your vision got me thinking and it doesn't sound so bad. I could do my own things, the music I want and if I really only have a few months left, I want to do what I like to do and not spend hours discussing with people who are fed up with me. My time is definitely too short for that and no I won't let you die for me no matter what you say... Instead I want you to stay with me until the end... I-I don't want to die alone..."

I could tell by the way he sat there, hugging his legs to his chest, that the last part had been hard for him to voice and in a strange sense it had touched me. I put my arms around him and lay my head on his sholder. Water. Death. Suffocating. "Brian you won't die-"

"Just tell me you'll stay with me no matter what," he interrupted me sighing.

"I will stay with you no matter what, I promise."

Sorry for not updating in forever, but I was horribly busy and struggled a bit with writer's block too... ( and well I broke my laptop and hence had to rewrite a huge part of this. I'm probably the only person, who takes a computer science class, who wrecks every technical device she touches. #I'msofuckingtalented)

Oh on a different note (for those who care) I started to write two new Brian Jones stories. One is a more or less useless fact book about him, named 'Get a Line On You', because I need a place to talk about all the random stuff I read/see/find and the other one is a new story, because I need something less depressing to write than this. It's called 'If Love Is the Drug" and it would mean a lot if anyone would read it. Thanks! <33

Okay I'll shut up now.

As for the preview sorry the last one was wrong again, my drafts are really a mess, so here you go again:

I think Brian finally started to fully open up to me. I can't explain why I exactly thought that, but the way he talked to me and let me in on things, made me feel closer to him in a way. Closer than I had been to anyone before and I think I started to see what Brian had meant when he said that he thought we were similar.

We were, even if it had taken me very long to realise it.

Our life's might have been different, but at the end of a day we both just wanted to be with somebody we could trust and be ourselves with. Brian had been in a horrible state when I had first met him, paranoid, desperate, hopeless... and I, I had just been waiting for death to take me. I think I could finally see that there was indeed more to life than only death. Even if it was everything I saw, didn't mean I couldn't enjoy my life.

And that's what I wanted to do no matter what the future would bring.

I hope I manage to get it right this time.

Thanks for reading, voting and of course comments!❤❤❤❤