SEPTEMBER 3rd, 1991, SEATTLE, WA

REAGAN WOULD HAVE never guessed that she'd be spending one of her treasured days off from work shopping for a dormitory that she herself did not live in, but then again, her life was constantly taking her by surprise. And even without the element of surprise involved, the ordeal was to be expected when she had a younger sister who needed help perfecting her new living space.

In truth, Reagan was charmed that Kate had selected her over anyone else to go decor shopping with. Although Kate had been moved into her dorm for a few weeks, she was still sprucing up the place and making it more fit to her own aesthetic. She shared the room with another girl but for Kate, it was still like getting her very own room for the first time.

Reagan had never feared losing her bond with her sister upon Kate's move to college, but it was admittedly relieving to still be an avid participant in Kate's life. Reagan had a hunch that Kimberly was offended by Kate's lack of offer to help her prepare for school and  shop for things; little did their mother know that Reagan had been assigned to assist in all these tasks.

Even though Richard and Kimberly had made the drive to Seattle to help Kate officially move in, it had been Reagan who had made weekly visits to ensure Kate was adjusting well. In that time, she'd stayed at Dave's empty apartment, braving the commute from Olympia to Seattle on her select days off. She was thankful that Tommy seemed to understand that Kate needed her. Maybe that was why she'd been recently lucky in getting time away from work.

With Dave touring overseas, this had left Reagan with even more opportunity to dote on Kate. Whenever Kimberly had demanded to know why Reagan was abandoning her responsibilities at home, Reagan had breezily answered that it was all for Kate's sake. Kimberly could hardly argue against that, not when Reagan was technically still putting in effort to help the family even if it was from a city away.

To keep her company, Chris had joined Reagan on several of the trips up to Seattle to check in on Kate. The three of them had gone out once, ushering Kate into the world of bars and underage drinking. As morally strict as Kate was, it had been hilarious for Chris and Reagan to watch her join them in rounds of beer shared over loud music.

Dave had arrived home right at the start of September from the Netherlands, still riding on the high of the recent tour. Reagan had been more than happy to have him back, especially since it meant that he would be waiting for her at his usually vacant apartment once she was routinely done visiting Kate.

It had undeniably been some of the better weeks of Reagan's life. Kate getting older only meant that she understood Reagan even more. It felt like they could finally be real adults together, though Kate was the one with the surefire chance to make something of herself. Reagan on the other had never felt more condemned to Wilson's in all her life as she watched her sister study for college classes and pick a major. But she was happy for Kate, happy and proud that she was succeeding in what she'd always dreamed of doing.

Kate had been a great listener through it all too. She was still a steadfast supporter of Dave and Reagan's relationship and made that known to Reagan whenever she visited. She was sure to always lend an ear to Reagan venting about missing Dave or reminiscing on particularly sweet things he'd said to her. If Reagan ever tried to avoid the subject, Kate would demand that she reveal all the best secrets about her relationship. "Girl talk," she'd once called it. Reagan in turn had labeled it as "interrogation."

"Reags!"

Kate's call across the aisle of the department store they were in snagged Reagan's attention away from the throw rugs she'd been eyeing. She looked up to see her sister charging towards her carrying a lilac colored pillow.

"Isn't it so pretty?" Kate gushed, holding the pillow out for Reagan to observe.

"It is. How much?" Reagan asked, running her hand over the smooth satin of the pillow's cover.

"Fifteen ninety-nine. I'm definitely going to get it."

"Must be nice to have all your own funds up saved up," Reagan noted, smiling at Kate's ogling over her new piece of bedding. She'd been awfully spend-happy that month, but Reagan couldn't blame her, not when her pockets were full of hard-earned cash.

"It totally is," Kate said with a relieved sigh. "Babysitting across the street all summer had its payoff."

"You could have babysat Kody and RaeLynn too. It would have saved me a lot of time," Reagan grinned.

"Yeah and then not have gotten paid for it? No thanks."

"Hey, I do it all the time."

"I know you do. Mom and Dad have you whipped."

Reagan went still, her hand hovering the price tag she'd been flipping over before Kate's words had needled their way into her insides, sharp and painful like a reminder that just couldn't be forgotten.

"Sorry," Kate said quickly. "I didn't mean —,"

"It's okay. We both know it's true."

Quietly, Reagan continued inspecting the rugs before Kate suggested they check out and move onto their next task, which was grocery shopping. She'd been complaining all week that she wanted snacks to herself in her dormitory rather than living off cafeteria food.

They filled the trunk of Reagan's car up with Kate's purchases before driving out into the slew of Seattle traffic, searching for the nearest grocery store. Reagan was concentrating on the road when Kate brought up their previous conversation again.

"I didn't mean to say you were whipped," she said apologetically. "That wasn't very nice of me."

"Kate, don't worry about it. Like I said, you weren't lying," Reagan assured her sister, though she avoided her eyes, pretending to be intently watching the road.

"You're not whipped. You're more independent than you've ever been," Kate said with encouragement. "Look at you now. You're not at home waiting to pick  up Robbie or the twins and you're not cleaning the house on your day off. You're with me."

"I have rights, you know. Pretty sure that's mentioned somewhere in the constitution of this country."

"Of course you do. You always have had them. Now you're starting to use them is my point."

"Well, thanks," Reagan said. "I'm twenty-two years old and finally breaking free from the shackles of my parental unit. I absolutely love being reminded of that."

Kate ignored her jab, moving swiftly on to her next desired topic with an excited smile. She leaned towards Reagan across the center console eagerly.

"And you've got Dave," she beamed. She said his name with reverence as if she were referencing a biblical figure. Reagan bit her lip to hide her laughter at her own thoughts. In truth, she supposed Dave could have passed for a young Jesus.

"Also another lovely reminder," Reagan said with a sigh as she moved past a near episode of incessant giggling. "I'm twenty-two and in my first relationship ever. Great."

"I always knew you'd end up with a guy in a band," Kate mused. "Whenever I'd picture you with someone, it was always a guy who was into music."

Reagan scoffed. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you always hung out at those shows. And you loved drumming so much that I always thought you'd bond with someone over that."

She's right there, Reagan thought, remembering her first ever encounter with Dave after her one and only performance with Nirvana.

"And you love music more than anyone I know," Kate continued, ticking off her reasons on her fingers.

"I get what you mean. What you're saying is I've got a type?"

"Something like that. I'd say your type is purely Dave, though."

"Gee, that's fortunate, considering that I'm dating him."

"You guys are really sweet together," Kate enthused. "Was it because he's a musician that you first liked him?"

"Possibly, or the fact that he's just really great in bed," Reagan joked.

Kate gave her a deadpan look, unaccepting of the answer she'd offered. "Come on, that cant be it. You're with him for a better reason than that, aren't you?"

They reached a stoplight and Reagan sat back in the driver's seat, adopting a dreamy, far off expression on her face as she started out the windshield with her hands still hanging onto the steering wheel. She pretended to ponder all the reasons why she'd chosen Dave as a mate while Kate looked on hopefully. Finally, she nodded her head and broke out of the phony, mystified trance she'd been in.

"Yep, it's definitely because he's good in bed."

"You're the least romantic person ever," Kate complained.

"Romance is dead," Reagan insisted. "It's all about sexual attraction these days."

Kate launched into a long-winded explanation as to why Reagan was wrong, obviously missing out on her sister's sardonicism. As they pulled into the lot of a grocery store, Reagan tuned out of Kate's prattling to think about Dave and the genuine reasons as to why she was with him.

She hadn't been lying when she'd claimed that he was great in bed. He absolutely was and never failed to remind her of it whenever they ended up alone together. But it was more than that. Even the perk of him being a great drummer with superior music taste was not the sole cause of Reagan deciding that she loved him more than anything else in the world.

It all came down to the little things. Things like how he made her breakfast when he had the time, or how he'd serenade her during a car ride until she blushed red. Or the way he never critiqued her drum-playing and only commended her on it. There were other things too, like the way she'd wake up with his body curled into hers or the transition he made from having no coffee in the mornings to being on an insane, borderline annoying caffeine high.

She was with him because of the way he held her hand and the jokes he'd quip to make her smile. She loved him because there was nothing sexier than seeing him behind a drum kit or making hypothetical lists of the greatest punk bands of all time. He was hers because of so many things, all of them unique to his very existence.

"You almost hit that kid," Kate suddenly said, snapping Reagan out of her thoughts about Dave.

"What kid? I didn't almost hit a kid!"

"You were veering and you almost took out a kid walking next to his mom. Nice one, Reags."

Once Reagan managed to slide into a parking space and get Kate to shut up about her near collision with the supposed child that she had not seen, they both walked into the grocery store to find it relatively empty.

"Good, it's not crowded. We'll be able to get this done fast," Kate exclaimed, grabbing a shopping cart and venturing down the nearest aisle.

Reagan followed behind her, offering suggestions as to what food would be good to keep in the dorm. They strayed away from cold items since Kate didn't have a fridge but indulged in snacks like Doritos and cereal, minus the milk.

"What else do you need?" Reagan asked as they neared the last two aisles, almost having conquered the entire grocery store.

"Uhm," Kate said, nibbling her lower lip. "Oh, wait! I need tampons. I start my period in a few days."

At first, nothing significant clicked within Reagan's mind about Kate's need for feminine hygiene products. She angled their shopping cart to make a right turn before she abruptly stopped, her feet squeaking on the tiled floors as she did so.

Tampons. A period. Hadn't she needed tampons of her own? Tampons for a period that suddenly, she realized had not come.

"What?" Kate magnetically adhered to Reagan's side and stared at her, watching her face fall slack and lose color. "What did I say?"

Reagan desperately tried to make her mouth move, but all she managed to articulate was a sentence of discombobulated gibberish. Her hands, which had been wrapped tightly around the shopping cart's handle, felt locked in place.

"What is it? Did we forget something?" Kate said, probing for more answers as Reagan's face became even more pale.

"I . . . I . . ." Reagan stammered. Her fingers released their grip on the cart and flew to her neck, which she clutched as if she were the leading lady in a horror film. She could feel her pulse throbbing beneath her fingertips, a sure sign that she was not dead although she felt like she was or at the very least on her way to the grave.

She had missed her period. Since the the age of eleven, from the day she'd first ever spotted blood in her underwear at school, Reagan had never missed a period. Once upon a time, she'd alluded to her track record of bleeding every month as being akin to how she herself was when handling responsibility — dependable.

If it had happened at any other point in her life, she might have excused it. She would have written it off as an effect from stress. It wouldn't have mattered that it was missed and even if it did, it wouldn't have been as big of a deal as it was then. Because Reagan knew a completely plausible explanation for why her period had evaded her.

She had been stupid. Totally and ridiculously stupid. Rarely had she and Dave ever used condoms during sex, mostly because they'd both been too consumed in each other to remember the necessity of one. It was every sex education teacher's biggest warning. Carelessness led to this sort of thing. Neglect for consequences was what put people in these situations.

Never did Reagan think she'd be one of those people.

"You're freaking me out," Kate said worriedly, knitting her eyebrows. "Can you tell me what's wrong before I start panicking too?"

"Kate," Reagan sputtered. She lowered her hand from her neck, aware that it was shaking. "I just . . . I just realized something . . ."

Kate, fed up with Reagan's beating around the bush, stamped her foot angrily and widened her eyes.

"Damn it Reagan, what? What is it?" she hissed.

"I think I'm pregnant," Reagan finally whispered, her voice cracking at the end of her sentence.

Kate's tense stance immediately went limp as she backed away from Reagan, blinking in confusion. She allowed a silence to pass between them before she spoke again, confused as to how things had been completely normal only seconds prior.

"Did you just say you're pregnant?" Kate asked in a bewildered monotone.

"I don't know if I am. I only think so. I missed my period. You just made me remember it when you brought up needing tampons. I've never missed my period," Reagan said, rushing to get her explanation out and feeling herself speak like a robot.

She felt like she was nearing the verge of hysteria right there in the middle of the grocery store, alone in Seattle with her sister as her sole company. If she hadn't been so stunned, she would have appreciated that it was Kate with her in that moment. No one else would have been able to handle it.

"It's probably a false alarm," Kate said slowly, though she didn't sound convinced. "It happens to people all the time. You guys use protection, right?"

Reagan shrank inwards, mashing her lips into a line before giving her head an ashamed shake. Kate's eyes grew in size and she gulped.

"That changes things," she said.

"I know it does. I know what it means."

"You don't know yet. You haven't even taken a test," Kate asserted, always the one to remain optimistic.

Reagan closed her eyes. There was no possible way to explain it without sounding crazy, but she inherently knew the truth already. She knew what was happening to her and she also knew that she'd deliberately caused it. Kate was right in saying that without a test there was no confirmation, but somewhere in her gut, Reagan was sure of it. She was pregnant.

"I don't think I can do this," Reagan said. A rash of heat was making its way up her body, peeking out of the collar of her shirt. "I'm going to have a breakdown. This isn't happening to me. Tell me this isn't happening."

"Don't freak out yet," Kate urged, assuming the role of the leader as she touched Reagan's hand. Reagan grabbed her in return, wrapping her fingers so tightly around Kate's arm that Kate winced in response.

"I am freaking out!" Reagan seethed. "Do you understand how bad this is? Oh my god, how am I going to tell Dave? He's got a fucking album coming out in two weeks and now his girlfriend is knocked up . . ."

"Stop!" Kate instructed strongly. "You can't think like that. Let's buy a test, okay? We'll go home and you can take it. That way we'll know for sure."

Reagan began to quiver all over, her body shaking in tight little spasms. Kate saw her reaction and instinctively put an arm around her, acting as if she were the big sister of the two.

"I can't go back to Dave's apartment," Reagan stuttered. "He's there and I can't take a test in front of him."

"It's okay, you can take it at my dorm," Kate assured her. "Let's go grab it. It's going to be fine, Reags, I promise. You'll see. It's nothing but a scare. I promise you."

________

Two minutes took a lot longer to pass than Reagan thought. It was even worse for Kate, who was sitting outside the door to her conjoined bathroom shared between roommates. Her knees jiggled together as she waited for her sister to exit with what she hoped would be a negative pregnancy test. They had been in such a rush upon entering the dorm room that they'd hadn't even bothered to flip on the lights. Only the faint sun halfway peeking through the blinds lit the room.

When the door handle squeaked open and Reagan stepped out, pinching the test between her fingers, Kate got to her feet with confidence. They were alone. Her roommate was conveniently out.

"Well?" Kate prodded anxiously. "What does it say?"

Reagan glanced up. Her senses had yet to return to her and she wasn't even sure that they ever would. She felt like she was floating in space, somewhere high above the actual shell of her body. Nothing was real anymore.

She held the test out to Kate and allowed her to read it. Kate scanned the result before cupping her hand over her mouth and scuttling backwards, almost as if the test were on fire.

"It's positive," Reagan said faintly. "I'm pregnant."