KARA'S POV

Hindi parin maalis ang pakakangiti ko mula nung maghiwalay kami ni Taehyung kanina. Hindi ko alam, sobrang gaan lang ng pakiramdam ko.

Tumingin ako sa labas ng bahay at huminga ng malalim. Inayos ko muna ang sarili ko bago ako bumaba sa sasakyan. Nag-iisip ako ng idadahilan ko kung sakaling nasa loob pa si Kuya o kaya ay si Dad. Dahil paniguradong mapapagalitan ako.

Huminga ulit ako ng malalim bago ko dahan-dahang binuksan ang pinto. Napalunok ako nung makita ko si kuyang nakaupo sa couch at nakahalukipkip.

Nakabihis na siya, he's wearing his suit already but why is he still here? Bat hindi pa siya pumapasok sa trabaho? Napakunot ang noo niya nung tumingin siya sa relo niya.

'Is he waiting for me?'

Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papasok. I froze on the spot and I felt my heart drop when I saw Eunwoo coming out from the kitchen while carrying Celine. Napalunok ako.

I was in my  dream world earlier, my own little fantasy. Where I'm happy with the man that I love. But this isn't a fantasy now, this is reality. And this is the reality I must face.

"Mommy's home!" sabi niya kay Celine habang nakangiti. Napapikit ako nung maramdaman ko ang tingin ni Kuya saakin.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

Nanindig ang mga balahibo ko nung marinig ko ang boses ni Kuya. His voice is so authoritative, nakakatakot. Napalunok ako at unti-unting tumingin sa kanya.

"K-Kuya!... I... d-didn't.. see you there!" I said my voice almost whispering. I smiled awkwardly. Kinakabahan ako, dumagdag pa na andito si Eunwoo.

Kung si Kuya lang sana ang nandito ay pwede ko pang sabihin kung saan ako nanggaling, dahil alam kong wala na rin namang magagawa si Kuya kahit na magalit pa siya.

"EUNWOO! What are you doing here?" baling ko kay Eunwoo at hindi pinansin ang tanong ni Kuya.

"I asked you Kara, Where have you been?"

"Uhm..." Napalunok ako ng paulit-ulit. Anong sasabihin ko?Alangan sabihin ko na kasama ko si Taehyung magdamag?

"Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano kami nag-aalala sayo? Eunwoo's been  trying to contact you pero hindi ka sumasagot. Hindi ka man lang ba---"

"Chill! Kuya! She's with ate last night, nasa bahay sila kagabi" I heard Brax's voice . Nakahinga pa ako ng maluwag nung makita ko silang magkapatid sa may pintuan. I looked at Yareli and she looked at me with you-better-explain-to-me-look.

"WHAT?!" tanong ni Kuya Kayden.

"She's with me last night, Kuya. It wasn't planned, but since malakas ang ulan... we decided to have a little sleepover, you know....Girls night?" Maarteng sabi ni Yareli. And I was trying hard not to laugh.

"You were with them?" bumaling si Kuya sa akin. I slowly nodded at yumuko ulit, Hindi ko kayang tumingin sa kanya. Baka kasi malaman niyang nagsisinungaling lang kami.

"Magkakasama kayo and yet you didn't even bother to call? Hindi mo man lang inisip yung mga taong nag-aalala sayo?"

"S-Sorry..." I mumbled.

"My God, Kara! Malaki ka na---"

"EXACTLY!" We heard my mom's voice. Agad kaming napatingin sa kanya. "Malaki na ang kapatid mo Kayden, para pagalitan mo sa harap ng maliligaw niya"

"MOM!" sabay naming sigaw ni Kuya kay mom na pababa mula sa hagdan. Tumingin ako kay Eunwoo at napalunok nung magtama ang mga mata namin, he smiled at me and I looked away.

"Mom! what I'm saying is hindi na siya bata. I know that! Pero ang saakin lang naisip naman san niyang tumawag para hindi tayo lahat nag-aalala sa kanya." sabi ni Kuya.

"And she did, nagpaalam siya" sabi ni Mommy pero hindi yata narinig ni Kuya.

"Hindi naman natin siya pinagbabawalan sa mga ginagawa niya... ang sa'kin lang dapat nagpaalam siya"

Napalunok ako. Naiintindihan ko naman ang punto ni Kuya. Alam ko na nag-aalala lang siya kaya siya nagagalit. May kasalanan din naman ako dahil hindi ko talaga sinabi kung nasaan ako. I can tell them where I've been, sasabihin ko naman pero hindi nga lang ngayon. Not when Eunwoo's around.

Mom smiled at him. "Nagpaalam naman ang kapatid mo, nagpaalam siya sa'min ng dad mo" sabi ni Mom.

He looked at mom like he couldn't believe what he just heard. Tumawa si mom at tinapik siya sa balikat.

"Stop scolding your sister already, she called last night and told us she's sleeping over at Yareli's house" sabi ni mommy. "Sige na pumasok ka na"

Kuya sighed in defeat and looked at me. "We'll talk later" he said before walking out.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nung nakaalis na siya. I looked at my mom and smiled. I was really really thanking my mom in my head big time! Kung wala siya tiyak na nabisto na kami ni Yareli na nagsisinungaling.

"What are you doing? go upstairs and get dressed... kanina ka pa hinihintay ni Eunwoo dito" sabi ni Mommy sa akin.

Napatingin ako kay Eunwoo na buhat-buhat parin si Celine. Nginitian niya ako and I smiled back.

"Oh?Lover boy bat ang aga mo namang nagpunta dito?" tanong ni Yareli sa kanya. "I.. I was worried about Kara so..." he shrugged.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at kinuha si Celine. "Sorry for bailing out on our plans yesterday" sabi ko. He smiled and nodded.

"Pwede ka pa namang bumawi" sabi niya. Tumango ako. "I'll just go get changed" sabi ko at umakyat.

"Ooops jan muna kayo ha boys!" rinig kong sabi ni Yareli at sumunod saakin sa taas.Yareli locked the door at naupo sa kama kasama ni Celine.

I closed my eyes and groaned. Ang saya saya ko na kanina eh!

"Spill..." sabi ni Yareli habang seryosong nakatingin sa akin. "Where have you been? At bakit hindi ka namin macontact kahapon?"

"Buti nalang talaga best actress ako tas best supporting actor yung kapatid ko" she laughed.

"And kudos to Tita Serene as well, ang galing niya ha! Siya pala ang best actress!" sabi niya. Umiling ako at bumuntong-hininga. They all did a great job covering up for me.

"Pero seriously... where have you been?" seryosong tanong niya.

"Promise me you won't freak out or scream or anything" sabi ko. She looked at me confused. "Just promise me Yareli, or else hindi ko sasabihin" sabi ko.

"Okay! Okay! Promise I'll keep my mouth shut" she said and acted like zipping her mouth.

I sighed and started to tell her everything that happened yesterday. As in everything that happened not leaving any details behind. Well except for some kissing scenes, because I know she's gonna freak out.

Nakanganga parin siya hanggang sa matapos ang kwento ko. "Right! I know you're going to be like that" sabi ko.

She looked at me raising an eyebrow. "Hindi ako naniniwalang natulog lang kayo" sabi niya."I mean walang kiss na naganap? make-out? or Yoga?" she asked. I felt my face heat up after hearing what she said.

"Ano ka ba! naririnig ka ni Celine!" suway ko sa kanya.

"Hindi naman siguro kayo gumawa ng kapatid ni Celine diba?" bulong niya. Nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

"YARELI! My God!" I gasped.

"What? What do you expect me to think? Malamig kagabi dahil umuulan.. tapos magkasama pa kayo sa iisang kama, and I know naman na namimiss niyo na ang isa't isa..." she trailed off. And I'm feeling my face grow hotter.

"May sakit yung tao---"

"So kung wala siyang sakit gagawa kayo ng kapatid ni Celine ganon ba?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"W-What?! N-No!... Ofcourse not!" sabi ko.

"But why?.."

"What do you mean why?... why we didn't make babies?" I asked and she shook her head no.Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay ano bang ibig niyang sabihin?

"Bakit ang rupok mo sis?"

I glared at her and she just laughed. "and the award for the most brittle person ever goes to you! Miss Kara Vixen Agoncillo!"

"What most brittle?" Natatawang tanong ko. She looked at me like I'm the dumbest thing on earth.

"Duh. Marupok. Marupok literally means brittle. So you're the most Brittle person here!"

"In short ikaw ang pinaka marupok!" sabi niya.

I laughed and shook my head. "Ewan ko sayo" sabi ko. "Baka mamaya ang itawag mo na sa'kin Peanut Brittle" Tumawa kaming pareho.

"That's actually a nice Idea! why didn't I think of that huh? Peanut Brittle?" she said looking straight at me. "Stop Yareli Fye!" I laughed.

She stopped laughing and looked at me seriously. "So what's your plan?" she asked.

Nagkibit-balikat ako at paulit-ulit na bumuntong hininga. "Honestly, I don't know..."

"Ang haba naman kasi ng buhok mo Kara Vixen, God! Nahiya si Rapunzel sayo" she said rolling her eyes.

Nginitian ko siya. "Bakit hindi ka yata galit ngayon?" tanong ko. Ang buong akala ko mag-aalburoto na naman siya pagkatapos kong ikwento yung nga nangyari kahapon.

"Duuuh!" she said rolling her eyes. "Parang may magagawa naman kung magagalit pa ako no? Nangyari na eh.. tsaka alam ko namang... Brittle ka" she laughed. I glared at her.

Pero tama naman siya, wala na ngang saysay kung magagalit siya sa mga ginawa ko. Tapos na eh.

"Pero seryoso Kara Vixen... Paano si Eunwoo? she asked. Napatigil ako at napabuntong-hininga ulit.

" I mean... you obviously still loves Tae... at hindi impossibleng magkabalikan kayong dalawa... knowing that he still loves you and he's just in a fake relationship, which by the way is already cleared up"

"I dont know..."

"pero possible din naman na hindi na kayo magbalikan kasi anjan na si Eunwoo... that is, if ever na si Eunwoo ang piliin mo... diba?"

I sighed again and shrugged. I really don't know anymore. Mas mabuti pa yatang umalis na muna ako dito. But I'm not like that, as much as possible I don't want to run away from my problems. I'm bug enough to face them.

"Hindi mo pa naman siguro binigyan si Taehyung ng rason para umasang magkabalikan kayo hindi ba?"

"Don't think of going in the rain again, because you can kiss me all you want"

"Don't think of going in the rain again, because you can kiss me all you want"

"Don't think of going in the rain again, because you can kiss me all you want"

Napalunok ako ng paulit-ulit at napatingin kay Yareli.

"I mean wala ka naman sigurong nabanggit sa kanya or anything for him to assume things... right?"she asked. Napatitig lang ako sa kanya." Oh my God! I know that look!"she exclaimed staring back at me.

" Oh my God! Don't tell me you did?"

Napapikit ako at napasabunot sa buhok ko. Shit! What am I thinking that time? I guess I was just too carried away! Bakit ko ba sinabi yon? Why did I give in? Ewan ko ba! Basta nung hinalikan niya ako nawala na lahat! Hindi ko na kontrolado ang katawan ko at pag-iisip ko.

"What do I do now?" I groaned.

"Hay nako! Celine paglaki mo wag mong gagayahin ang mommy mo ha? Ang ganda ganda andami namang problema" rinig kong sabi ni Yareli kay Celine.

"Gayahin mo nalang si Tita ninang ganda, hindi namomroblema" she laughed.

"Sige na... wag ka ng magmukmok jan at maligo ka na... kanina ka pa hinihintay ni lover boy sa baba" natatawang sabi niya.

"Say bye to mommy" baling ni Yareli kay Celine na buhat-buhat na niya. I looked at her and smiled, she waved her tiny hands goodbye.

"Yareli!!!" I groaned.

"What?!"

"Help me out!" I pouted.

"Jusko naman Kara Vixen!" she said rolling her eyes. "Wala nga akong boyfriend na pinoproblema eh! Tapos saakin ka hihingi ng tulong?" she asked.

"Fine" I huffed. "sana di matuloy yung date niyo ni Kuya" bulong ko.

"I heard that!" Agad na sigaw niya. "Eto naman di mabiro! para saan pa na naging bestfriends tayo diba kung di kita tutulungan?" she laughed.

"This is the only advice I can give you Kara Vixen" She said seriously. "Next time na makikutulog ka, siguraduhin mo naman na hindi kakapit sayo yung amoy ng lalaki... My God you smell like Taehyung... I mean mabango pero amoy lalaki talaga" she said.

Inamoy ko ang sarili ko at napangiti. I really do smell like Taehyung. Then I remembered something, naamoy kaya ako ni Eunwoo kanina? I mean lumapit ako sa kanya kanina. I hope not.

"Siguro magkayakap kayong magdamag no?" Yareli wiggled her eyebrows. "Stop" I said feeling myself blush.

"Da... da!" Celine giggled loudly. "Yes baby, she smells like your Daddy!"

"Yareli!"

"Totoo naman ah!" sabi niya saakin. "Baka gumawa sila ng playmate mo baby" baling niya kay Celine.

"Oh my God Yareli! Walang nangyari saamin... I swear on my ovaries!" I said. Tumawa siya.

"Fine, Fine.. may nangyari man o wala kayo nalang nakakaalam non"

"Wala nga!"

"But in all seriousness Kara Vixen. You better make up your mind. I know you don't want to hurt anybody. Pero baka dahi sa kagustuhan mong hindi makapanakit. Baka lalo mo pa silang masaktan pareho" she said.

The atmosphere went really serious. Napalunok ako. I don't want to hurt both of them. At dahil don nahihirapan akong magdesisyon, nahihirapan ako kung ano bang gagawin ko.

"It's either Taehyung or Eunwoo. Pero kahit naman sino ang piliin mo sa kanila may masasaktan at may masasaktan parin. May matatalo at may mananalo.May uuwing masaya at may uuwing luhaan. Because thats just how love works.Love isn't always fair, remember that."

"At habang maaga pa magdesisyon ka na, dahil baka magsisi ka lang sa huli" she said and patted my back. I looked at her sadly.

She must've been hurt a lot before, to sound so expert about love. Well sa aming dalawa siya naman talaga ang mas may pinakamaraming experience sa love. And I hope she'll find the love she deserves,cause she deserves all the happiness in the world.

"Thank You" sabi ko at ngumiti. Tumayo ako para yakapin sila ni Celine.

"Ugh! Hay nako Kara Vixen, tama na nga tong drama natin.... mauna na kami sa baba netong pamangkin ko" she laughed when we pulled away. Tumango ako at humalik sa pisngi ni Celine bago sila tuluyang lumabas.

"Your heart already knows the answer, but your mind is rejecting the Idea.... Follow your heart, Kara. It will lead you to the place you wanted to be"

To be honest, I know what I want. I know what my heart really wants. I know Who I really want. I know where I wanted to be. But I can't go there. I can't follow my heart, dahil alam kong may masasaktan ako.

Pero tama si Yareli, kahit na sino sa dalawa ang piliin ko ay mayroon at mayroong paring masasaktan.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

Hindi ko na alam ang gulo-gulo na. Should I follow my heart and be happy while the other one is hurt because of me? Or should I just follow my mind that's telling me to not choose anyone and just live my life without hurting anybody? Should I take my chances? Or not? Should I be brave? Or should I be a coward?

I sighed again. I cannot afford to make the same mistakes again. I want to give my daughter a family she deserves, and I want to live my life without any regrets.

Love is a gamble, we can't win unless we take risks.