I stared at my reflection again, this is the third time I'm changing my outfit. Pangatlong palit ko na to pero wala pa rin akong nagugustuhan sa mga sinusuot ko. Bumuntong-hininga ako at naghanap muli ng isusuot. I searched for another outfit and I spent a good 10 minutes rummaging through my closet after finally finding something I like.

"Isn't this too much?" tanong ko sa sarili ko habang tinititigan ang kabuuan ko mula sa salamin.

Im wearing a peach V neck mid-thigh flowy dress with vintage flare mesh sleeves.Paired with my white nectur high heels.

"This isn't too much right?"

'Are you dressing up because you will meet Taehyung later?'

My subconscious mind whispered. I shook my head no.

"H-Ha! Why... why would I do that?! I'm.. I'm not dressing up for him!"

'Are you sure? It seems like you're dressing up to impress him'

"O-Ofcourse not! I'm a CEO of a clothing brand!... I.. I always dress like this!"

"Aish!" I mumbled. Mukha lang akong tangang nakikipagsagutan sa sarili ko.

At dahil ayaw kong magmukhang guilty at dahil natalo ako ng demonyo sa utak ko, nagbihis nalang ako. And now I'm wearing a white lace bralette underneath my white coat paired with with high-waisted white pants. I also wore my white d'orsay pumps. I applied my lipstick and smiled to myself.

"This will do..." I mumbled as I look at myself up and down from the mirror. Kinuha ko ang bag at nga susi ko bago ako bumaba.

"Oh? Mommy's all dressed up today" Mommy said to Celine as they look at me while I was descending from the stairs.

"What do you mean all dressed up, mom? I dressed like this everyday" I said. She gave me a knowing look.

"Looks like mommy have a date" sabi niya kay Celine.

"Mom!" I rolled my eyes playfully and laughed.Kinuha ko si Celine mula sa kanya.

"First off I don't have a date.. and.. I.. I dressed like this everyday so what's so surprising?" I asked. Umiling si Mommy and gave me a don't-lie-to-me look.

"Mom! I swear I'm not going on a date" I laughed.

"What? I'm not saying anything... Ikaw tong defensive"Tumawa si mommy.Umiling nalang ako at bumaling kay Celine.

" I'll miss youuuu... Be a good girl hmm? "I said to her and she smiled. I kissed both of her cheeks bago ko siya ibalik kay mommy.

" I'll see you later, I love you"I said. Nagpaalam na rin ako kay mommy para umalis.

"Goodluck on your date!" mom said wiggling her eyebrows. I laughed and shook my head.

"MOM! ewwww.... I'm not going on a date okay?"

"Sure whatever you say" she teased.

"Bye, Mom" I smiled.

"Da... da" I stopped in my tracks and looked back. Napalunok ako.

"Looks like she knows who mommy is seeing today" sabi ni Mommy. I took a deep breath and gave them a smile.

"I'll get going mom" sabi ko bago tuluyang lumabas.

Huminga ako ng malalim nung nasa loob na ako ng sasakyan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang bumigat ang pakiramdam ko. I realized a lot of things from the talk I had with my mom last night.

I realized that no matter what decision I make it will either result in good or bad. I just have to make a decision that will not make me regret for the rest of my life no matter the outcome is.

I sighed again. But then again hindi naman ganon kadali ang mamili ng desisyon. It was like being torn when choosing between who you love most,It was like choosing between mom  or dad.

"Well.... I'll just see how it goes"I mumbled and started my car.

"Maybe a song will help lighten up my mood"

🎶"He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself" 🎶

Napalunok ako nung marinig ko ang mga linyang yon. Memories from the other day flashed back in my head.

🎶"'Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What ---" 🎶

I immediately turn the radio on the other station.

🎶"I can't pretend
That i'm just a friend
'Cause i'm thinking maybe we were meant to be
I think i'm fallin', fallin' in love with---" 🎶

Kinilabutan ako nung marinig ko iyon. And now I'm thinking about Eunwoo. Nananadya ba ang mga radio stations ngayon? Bakit puro kantang nagpapaalala sa kanila yung pinapatugtog nila. Pinatay ko nalang yung radyo at nag focus na sa pagda-drive.

Nasa tapat na ako ng bahay ko ngayon, pero hindi parin ako bumababa sa sasakyan. Pinag-iisipan ko pa kung dito ba talaga kami mag-uusap o sa ibang lugar ba.

Kung dito kasi, ilang linggo na akong di pumupunta dito at nakakapaglinis. Tapos nanjan din yung nga ibang gamit at pictures ni Celine. Paano kung makita niya ang mga iyon?

Pero kapag sa ibang lugar naman, saan?Baka kasi pag sa labas kami nag-usap may makakita pa saamin,magawan pa kami ng issue. I don't need another drama right now.

This is the only safe place for us. Kung dito kasi kami mas safe, walang ibang makakarinig ng usapan namin kundi kami lang. Tsaka malaya siyang makakagalaw hindi niya iisipin kung may mga fans ba siyang naka sunod sa kanya.

I guess I have no other choice. I groaned  and shook my head. Kinuha ko ang bag ko at bumaba na sa kotse. Naglakad ako papunta sa gate at bubuksan ko na sana ito nang biglang may nagsalita sa likuran ko.

"Ma'am Kara?"

I turned to face him.Napangiti ako nang makita ko si Kuya Guard. Siya yung security na laging rumoronda dito.

"Long time no see po ma'am!" sabi niya ng nakangiti.

"Long time no see din po" I smiled.

"Sige po ma'am, mauuna na po ako" he said and bowed. Ngintian ko nalang siya, akala ko may sasabihin siya eh. Binuksan ko na yung gate at pumasok na sa loob.

Binuksan ko ang ilaw sa loob at inilibot ang paningin ko. Malinis naman ang buong bahay. Kailan kaya kami makakabalik ni Celine dito? Hindi naman sa ayaw ko ng tumira dun kina mommy but I feel like I'm giving them so much burden. Pero kasi ayaw din lang naman nila akong payagang umalis sa bahay hangga't hindi daw ako pumapayag na mag hire ng kasama namin ni Celine. Gusto kasi nila may kasama ako para mapanatag ang loob nila. Pero ayaw ko namang mag hire ng katulong.

Nagpunta ako sa storage room para kumuha ng box na paglalagyan ko ng nga bagay na kailangan kong itago muna. Lumapit ako sa shelf kung saan nakadisplay yung mga picture frames. I smiled sadly while looking at the photos, dati ang nakalagay dito eh yung mga picture namin ni Taehyung.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at isa-isang kinuha ang mga yon at inilagay sa box. Napangiti ako habang tinitignan yung picture namin ni Yareli nung Baby shower. Pati na yung mga pictures nung pregnancy shoot. May malaki ding pictures si Celine nung bagong panganak siya, nakapatong siya sa dibdib ko. Meron din nung binyag at 100 days party niya.Looking at these photos brings so much memories, akala ko nung una hindi ko kakayanin to. But here I am now, thanks to the people who stayed by my side throughout my pregnancy, at hanggang ngayon ay nasa tabi ko parin.

Natigilan ako nang makita yung dalawang frame na natira. The first photo was me, Celine and Eunwoo. It was taken on New Years Eve. Anyone who doesn't know us and sees this will surely think we're really a family. I sighed and put it on the box.

I stared at the last frame on the shelf. Unti-unti ko iyong kinuha at paulit-ulit na bumuntong hininga. It was Taehyung and Celine's photo at the restaurant. Alam kong hindi ko na dapat to ginawa, I shouldn't have this photo developed and framed and displayed here. But I couldn't help myself. It's their first photo together and it's too precious. Kahit na sandali lang ay naranasan ni Celine na makarga ng tatay niya. Kahit na sandali lang ay nakasama niya ang tatay niya. That's why I did this, para kahit papaano ay may alaala silang mag-ama.

I wiped the frame and stared at his smiling face.Kitang kita ko kung gaano siya kasaya dito sa picture, may hawak ka lang na bata ang saya-saya mo na, paano pa kaya kung malaman mong anak mo iyang hawak mo? I smiled sadly.

"You'd be so happy for sure---"

"If things were different... Ikaw sana ang kasama namin sa lahat ng mga pictures.. Ikaw sana ang nakakita sa unang mga ngiti niya.. Ikaw sana ang nakarinig sa mga salitang una niyang binigkas... At... Ikaw sana yung kasama namin sa araw-araw...." bulong ko.

I bit my lower lip and wiped my tears.Thinking about him breaks my heart. Because I know for a fact that even if I tell him about Celine, nothing will change. May karelasyon na siya at ayoko namang manira, baka isipin niyang naghahabol lang ako.

I took a deep breath and put the frame inside the box.

"I'm sorry but I can't get Celine involved with you" I whispered.

Masyado pang bata si Celine para maisali sa ganitong issue. Lalo pa't sikat ang tatay niya, who knows what his fans will think If they found out that he has a daughter already?Iniisip ko din si Taehyung but I care about my daughter too. I don't want her to receive criticisms at such young age. Wala naman siyang kinalaman sa pagiging sikat ng daddy niya. And it's better off that way.

Umiling ako. I don't want to think about that right now. Hindi ko pa naman planong sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol kay Celine ngayon.

Bumuntong-hininga ulit ako at inilagay ang box sa gilid. Hindi naman siguro kakalkalin ni Taehyung to diba? Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos sa baba ay umakyat ako sa kwarto para ayusin ang mukha ko. I already texted Taehyung earlier.

I stared at my reflection. Natawa ako, ngayon ko lang napansin na naka all white na naman ako. And I realized that the day we broke up I'm wearing an all white outfit. And now that we're seeing eachother again after a long time nakaputi na naman ako.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when the doorbell rang. I took a deep breath as my heartbeat started ravibg in my chest. Bumaba ako at tumigil sa pintuan para pakalmahin ang sarili ko.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down. I took a deep breath again before opening the door. I swallowed hard when I came face to face with him.

I felt like the whole world stopped and everything went slow when he stared and smiled at me. He's still the same person I knew, but he's gotten more handsome. I swallowed again. Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto na kaming nakatayo dun sa may pintuan at nakatitig lang sa isa't-isa.

Umiling ako nung mapagtantong kanina pa kami nagtititigan. Umiwas ako ng tingin.

"C-Come in..."

Taehyung's POV

~play Di na kita mahal by Silent Sanctuary~

Nandito na ako sa tapat ng bahay ni Kara. I know that she's already here since andito na sa labas yung sasakyan niya. I'm actually surprised when she texted me earlier. Sinabi niya na sa bahay nalang daw niya kami mag-usap para mas ligtas kami sa mga reporters.

Naglakad ako papunta sa gate at nung nakita kong bukas iyon ay pumasok na ako. I rang the doorbell and waited for her to open the door. My heart started beating fast, hindi ko alam kung anong kalalabasan ng pag-uusapan namin but I'm still happy that I finally had the chance to tell her everything.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when she opened the door. Agad akong napatitig sa kanya. I smiled and continued to stare at her. Fighting back the urge to hug her. Memories from the other night flashed back through my head.

Umiwas siya ng tingin.

"C-Come in..."she said.I nodded and followed her inside. Inilibot ko ang tingin ko sa loob ng bahay. Nalungkot ako nung makitang wala na yung mga nakadisplay na pictures namin.

"Have a seat" sabi niya at itinuro ang couch."Do you want something? Tea? Juice?" She asked.

Umiling ako. "I want to talk to you... That's what I want, Kara."

"I'll just go get you something---" Hinila ko ang braso niya para pigilan siya. Napalunok ako at dahan dahan siyang binitawan.

"That's... that's a nice necklace" I commented seeing the moon shaped pendant on her neck.

"Ahh.... T-Thanks" she mumbled, lumayo siya saakin ng kaunti.

"Can we talk now?"

She nodded slowly and sat on the couch across from me.There was a long silence. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ba to sisimulan. Hindi ko alam kung anong uunahin kong sabihin sa kanya.

"What do you---"

"I'm sorry." sabi ko at tumitig sa kanya. Napakunot ang noi niya habang nakatingin sa akin.

She smiled slowly. "May kasalanan ka ba saakin?" tanong niya. Now it's my time to get confuse.

"I lied... I lied about the dating ban, and I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that.. I should've told you the truth---"

"I know you had your reasons why you did that, and I understand" she said.

"I did that to protect you" I said and swallowed . She nodded. "Thanks" she laughed.

"I know you did that for me. " sabi niya. I looked at her confused.

"Your worried that your fans might hurt me or something..." she shrugged.

"H-How did you k-know?" I asked. Bakit alam niya ang tungkol dito?

"Jungkook told me...And trust me I understand... If you're worried about that then let it go because It's fine....At first I was mad,because you lied.. and then later on I found out that you did that for me---"

"You needed to lie in order to protect me." She laughed bitterly.

"But Goddammit! I can protect myself Tae!... You should've just told me the truth! 'cause you know.... You know out of all people that I will Understand!" she said her eyes glistening with tears. And I'm feeling my heart break seeing her fight back the tears from flowing.

"I.. I'm sorry....I thought it was for the best---"

"Me too...." she whispered.Tumayo siya at naglakad papunta sa kusina. "Well... we can't go back to the past and change it... It's been said and done, we moved on and we're fine---"

"No, Kara! We haven't moved on, I'm not fine! And you're not fine either" sabi ko at sumunod sa kanya, humarap siya saakin.

She smiled and shook her head. "You already moved on... why would you date someone then? if you haven't really moved on?" she asked.

"Are you just using her? as a rebound?"

"K-Kara...."

She smiled at me. And it breaks my heart to see her smiling while she's thinking I already moved on from her.

"W-We're.... we're not t-together.... That's just all for publicity"

"Publicity..." She nodded.

"K-Kara.... please believe me... It's really just an act of publicity but... but we're doing everything to clear that up---"

"It's fine.You don't need to explain anymore... "

"What do you mean?" tanong ko na nakakunot ang noo. She smiled and stared at me.

"We're done when that happened. We already broke up before that happened so you don't need to explain anything to me"

Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig dahil sa sinabi niya. Kung ganon ayos lang sa kanya yung mga nangyari? All this time it was fine for her?

"Whether you're really dating her or not, it's fine by me---"

"You're lying!It's not fine Kara! You're not fine and I know that!" sabi ko. Alam kong nagsisinungaling lang siya.

"Taehyung... I'm happy with my life right now, so please be happy with yours---" she said. I shook my head no.

"I can't---"

"Ofcourse you can! You finally achieved your dream!" she said cutting me off. Tears started to build up on my eyes.

Umiling ako, gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na kung maibabalik ko lang ang panahon ay pipiliin ko siya kesa sa mga pangarap ko.

"Speaking of dreams..congratulations"

"I could give it all up,Kara....If that's the only way I can have you back---"

"NO! I will never let you do that!" she said looking straight to my eyes.

"We sacrificed too much for you to achieve your dreams, and now you're telling me you'll just give it up?" Umiling siya.

"No... No...Don't think about giving up your dreams---"

"I LOVE YOU! " I said cutting her off. She looked at me taken a back from what I said. She smiled when she regained her composure but still didn't say a thing.I told her about what happened the other night on the bar, on how she said that she still loves me.

" I d-don't know.. w-what you're..t-talking about" Nagbago ang reaksyon ng mukha niya tsaka umiwas ng tingin.

"I'm... I'm drunk... I d-don't remember a thing"

"I know you still love me... even if ypu deny it..." sabi ko. Umiling siya at yumuko. Lumapit ako sa kanya, iniangat ko ang mukha niya at sinalubong ang mga mata niya.

"Kara...I love you... and I.. I want you back"

"I'm sorry..." she said. Tumalikod siya saakin. My tears started flowing down.

"Why?...dahil ba may bago ka na?" tanong ko. Humarap uli siya sa akin na nakakunot ang noo.

"I know about him.... pero alam ko din na hindi kayo!... Can we stop pretending?! because I know the truth!... please"she looked at me shocked. Kitang kita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya.

"Kara...."

"I... I dont k-know... what you're t-talking about" she said at umiwas ng tingin.

"Brax..." sabi ko. Kumunot ang noo niya at tumitig sa akin.

"I know he's not your boyfriend, alam kong walang namamagitan sa inyong dalawa... so please..." I whispered.

"Kara... I love you, at hindi nawala ang pagmamahal na yon... I'm sorry that it took me so long to find the courage to tell you everything... I'm sorry..." Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang dalawa niyang kamay.Nakita ko ang pagpatak ng mga luha mula sa mga mata niya.

"All this time pinagsisihan ko na iniwan kita.... Araw-araw kong hinihiling na sana maibalik ko ang nakaraan, para mabalikan kita... para makasama ka, dahil walang saysay ang mga pangarap na naabot ko kung wala ka sa tabi ko...."

"I realized that I don't need anything.Because what I truly need is you, Kara....I want to fulfill all my promises with you and I want us to achieve our dreams together.."

"I'm here now... and this time I will never let you go."

"You said we can't go back to the past and change it." I said and wiped her tears. "But we can make things right this time, so we can have the future we want" I whispered.

"And if you can't remember anythibg fron that night, then Illymake you remember."Nakita ko kubg gaano  siya napalunok dahil sa sinabi ko.

My heart started to beat fast. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa labi niya,she closed her eyes, napalunok ako at dahan-dahang inilapit ang labi ko sa labi niya.

I felt her push me but I just wrapped my arms around her waist.I kissed her slowly and passionately making her feel the longing I have for her. She tried to resist but she gave in eventually and started to kiss me back.

We both pulled away slowly from eachother. She slowly opened her eyes.

"I love you" I said and leaned in to kiss her again but she turned her face away.

"Leave!" she whispered  and pushed me back.

"Kara..."

"LEAVE!!"

"Hindi mo na ba ako mahal?" tanong ko. Napalunok siya habang nakatingin sa akin.Her tears started to flow again.

"Tell me Kara... hindi mo na ba ako mahal?"

Hindi ko alam kung handa ba akong marinig ang magiging sagot niya o hindi. Iniisip ko palang nasasaktan na ako.

"I-I .... Just leave please... please...."