Kara's POV

Kinuha ko si Celine mula sa crib niya at naglakad papunta sa office ko. Nandito kami ngayon sa boutique, kinuha ko siya kasi wala naman akong masyadong gagawin dito ngayon,para naman makapag-relax din si mommy.

"Let's answer the phone" sabi ko sa kanya at kinuha ang cellphone kong kanina pa nagriring.

"Hello?"sagot ko. Ano naman kayang sasabihin neto? Nasa coffee shop siya at nagkita lang kami kanina.

"Alexa said Taehyung went here yesterday, nagkita ba kayo?" sabi ni Yareli. Napakunot ang noo ko, ano naman ang gagawin ni Taehyung dun sa coffee shop?

"Hindi kami nagkita... Pero a-anong ginawa niya jan?" tanong ko.

"sabi ni Alexa hinihintay daw ako baka tatanungin na naman nun kung asan ka, but thank God! hindi ka niya nakita... " sabi ni Yareli.

Napatingin ako kay Celine na nilalaro ang buhok ko, I sighed. Tama bang hindi ko siya binigyan ng pagkakataong magpaliwanag?

"Y-yeah"I said as I ended the call.

I sighed and looked at Celine and forced myself to smile. I bit my lower lip to hold back my tears. Akala ko kasi okay na ako, pero nung nakita ko siya ulit bumalik lahat.

When I saw him infront of the coffee shop that day, I wanted to run into his arms and hug him like nothing happened. I should have let him explain, I should have heard what he has to say.

I have been thinking these past few days, iniisip ko kung ano bang sasabihin niya. Iniisip ko din na sana binigyan ko nalang siya ng pagkakataong makapagpaliwanag para hindi nagugulo ang isip ko ng ganito. Sana hindi ko nalang siya pinangunahan.

"I saw your dad---" sabi ko at tinitigan ang mukha ni Celine.

"you really look like him" bulong ko kay Celine bago ko hinalikan ang pisngi niya.

"Hi girls!" rinig kong sabi ni Yareli mula sa pintuan, pumasok na siya at isinara ang pinto, tapos ay kinuha niya mula saakin si Celine.

"bakit mo naman ako binabaan ng telepono? may sasabihin pa ako eh" sabi niya saakin. "Diba Celine?" sabi niya in baby voice.

"Ano ba yon?" tanong ko.

"Alam mo ang sungit mo" sabi niya sa akin. Tumawa ako tsaka umiling bago naglakad papunta sa upuan ko.

"Seriously Yareli Fye" sabi ko.

Naupo siya sa couch at ipinatong si Celine sa hita niya,bago siya bumaling sa akin.

"Alam mo... Nacucurious kasi ako sa kung anong sasabihin nung tatay netong si Celine eh" sabi niya. And I sighed.

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang kinakabahan ako na ewan.

Hindi lang naman siya, ako rin. Gusto kong malaman kung anong sasabihin niya. Kung anong ipapaliwanag niya.

"You know him more than anyone in this world.... I mean hindi naman siguro siya magpapaliwanag kung wala lang iyon diba?" tanong niya. I looked at her confused.

"Parang kailan lang ayaw mo siyang makita ah, galit na galit ka pa sa kanya" sabi ko.

Pero she's right, Taehyung wouldn't bother explaining his side kung hindi iyon importante.

She shrugged and looked at Celine. "Eh paano kasi.... si Alexa sabi niya mukha daw kawawa yung tao kahapon... Ilang tasa na nga daw ng kape yung nainom niya para lang mahintay ako" sabi niya.

"Alam kong galit ako sa kanya dahil sa ginawa niya sayo......"

"I felt really bad, wala naman siguro ako sa posisyon para pagbawalan siyang makausap ka diba?" tanong niya. I nodded.

"Nasabi ko rin sa kanya na wag ka na niyang guluhin---"

"Nasabi ko lang naman iyon kasi alam kong nasaktan ka niya tungkol don sa bago niyang dinedate.... and I'm really mad at him... pero naawa din ako sa inyo---"

"Huh?"tanong ko.

"I mean... you two need closure.... may bago na siya and meron ka na din namang bago---"

"Siya lang ang may bago Yareli." I said.

Totoo namang si Taehyung lang ang may bago at kahit masakit para sa akin ay kailangan ko iyong tanggapin.

"What about Eunwoo?" tanong niya. I sighed and bit my lower lip.

I don't know.

"Don't tell me hanggang ngayon---"

"Hindi ko alam...."I sighed.

Naguguluhan ako. I know sinabi kong bibigyan ko na ng chance si Eunwoo,pero ngayon hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko.

She sighed." Kara... you need to decide, we talked about this before---"

" alam ko"I said cutting her off.

Alam kong kailangan kong mamili kung si Eunwoo ba na palaging anjan para sa akin at para kay Celine. O si Taehyung na mahal ko pa hanggang ngayon?

"Nahihirapan din ako Yareli, I don't want to hurt Eunwoo.... pero hindi ko kayang bumitaw kay Taehyung... lalo pa't anjan si Celine na nag-uugnay sa aming dalawa" I said.

"Pero hindi naman niya alam ang tungkol kay Celine---" she said.

"at hindi niya malalaman hangga't hindi mo sinasabi sa kanya. Kaya habang hindi niya pa alam---"

"Wag ko nalang sabihin sa kanya ganon ba? ayokong lumaki si Celine na hindi niya kilala kung sino ang tatay niya" I said. Tumayo ako at kinuha si Celine mula kay Yareli.

"Handa namang tumayo si Eunwoo na maging tatay kay Celine---"

"Alam ko, but I don't want to take him for granted. Celine is not his daughter....."

"Hindi naman iyon ang ibig kong sabihin.....pwede mo namang sabihin kay Celine ang totoo pag malaki na siya" sabi niya. I get what Yareli si saying pero ayaw tanggapin ng puso ko.

Ayokong lumaki si Celine na iba ang kinikilala niyang ama.Gusto kong makilala niya ang tunay niyang ama at lumaki siya na kilala ito.

"I'll be the one to decide." I said firmly. I heard her sigh.

"I'm sorry... Andito lang ako kung gusto mo ng kausap" sabi niya at tuluyan ng lumabas.

I sighed and hugged Celine. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. I know I should just move on dahil alam ko namang meron na siyang iba.

Ilang beses ko ng sinabing tapos na ako sa kanya. Na tanggap ko na, na wala na kami. Pero bakit ba sa tuwing sinasabi kong magsisimula na akong muli, lagi siyang nagpapakita na para bang pinipigilan ako.

I sighed and stared at the closed door. Ngayon lang ulit kami nagkasagutan ni Yareli, and I feel really bad. I know she just wants what's best for me. Alam ko naman na kami ni Céline ang inaalala niya.

"Mommy doesn't know what to do, baby" bulong ko at niyakap ulit siya.

//

Naabutan ko si daddy sa sala matapos kong bihisan at patulugin si Celine sa taas. Andito kami sa bahay nila daddy ngayon dahil mamamasyal daw silang tatlo bukas nila mommy.

"Hi dad!" sabi ko at humalik sa pisngi niya.

"How's my princess?" tanong niya at niyakap ako.

"Daaaad!" I whinned and pouted.

I hugged my dad and just stayed in his arms. Sometimes I just want to be a little girl again. Walang problema, tamang enjoy lang sa buhay.

"naglalambing yata ang prinsesa..." my dad chuckled. Tumingala ako sa kanya at ngumiti.

"You know...I remember nung maliit ka pa, you always hug me whenever you're scared---"

"or whenever your mom scolds you, and you didn't know what to do" sabi ni dad.

Hinawi ni dad ang buhok na nakaharang sa mukha ko at tinitigan ako, bakas sa mukha niya ang pag-aalala.

"This is the first time you hugged me like this in  years..... are you okay?" tanong niya.Hindi ako sumagot at mas hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap ko sa kanya.

"Is this because of Eunwoo? or Taehyung?"

I pulled away and sighed.The mention of their names makes me more confused than I already am. Silang dalawa ang bumabagabag sa isipan ko.

Umiling ako at napabuntong-hininga ulit. "I... I don't know dad.... I'm so confused" I said.

"Tell me about it... I'm all ears" he smiled. Ngumiti ako pabalik kay daddy.

I told my dad everything. From my Jeju trip with Eunwoo to seeing Taehyung at the mall with his rumored girlfriend, and seeing him again for the second time. I also told him how confused I am right now. And that I don't know what to do anymore.

There was a long silence after I finished telling my dad everything. I heard him sigh and he looked at me smiling.

"You know... Eunwoo is a nice guy, he's been with you for quite a long time now and I can see that he makes you happy...." he said nodding.

I smiled and nodded. Alam ko naman iyon, and I think everyone around us knew that.

"Do you have feelings for him?" tanong niya. Napalunok ako. Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam. Masyadong magulo.

"I don't know dad....Sometimes I feel like I'm starting to like him, pero kapag iniisip kong bibigyan ko na siya ng chance..... bigla nalang papasok si Taehyung sa isip ko... " I closed  my eyes and sighed.

"It's because you still love him,mahal mo pa siya.. at sa puso mo hindi mo pa siya kayang pakawalan" he smiled.

There was a long silence again.

"Pero---"I looked at my dad when he said that word. He sighed before continuing what he has to say." Sa tingin mo ba kaya kang lokohin ni Taehyung? "tanong niya.

Napatigil ako sa tanong ni daddy.Napalunok ako. What is he trying to imply?

"W-What do you m-mean dad?" I asked. Nakakunot ang noo ko habang naghihintay ng sagot. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin sa tanong niya.

"I have watched you grow with Taehyung, at sa madaming taon na nakasama natin siya alam kong mahal na mahal ka niya... I watched you two grow as a couple---"

"Mabait na bata si Taehyung, I never seen him disrespect you. Not even once. I saw how much he loves you.. " admiration was still in my dads tone.

"Sa loob ba ng halos limang taong naging kayo nagloko ba siya?" tanong niya. Umiling ako.

Taehyung never cheated, never disrepected me just like what my dad said. We're not a perfect couple ofcourse we fight just like normal couples do,but we always find a way to work on our problems and sort it out. He  always  makes me feel loved, and he never failed to make me happy every single day.

"nakita ko kung paano ninyo minahal ang isa't-isa.... at nakita ko rin kung gaano ka nasaktan nung naghiwalay kayo... at alam kong hanggang ngayon ay siya parin ang mahal mo---"

"dad..... " I said cutting him off.

"What I'm telling you is... If he wants to explain his side, let him. Talk to him and listen to what he has to say." he said. Kinuha ni daddy ang kamay ko and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Alam kong hindi rin naging madali para sa kanya ang paghihiwalay ninyo... trust me" sabi niya.

"but.. why? W-Why are you telling me all these stuff dad?" I asked. "I'm being so confused right now..." I sighed.

"Just talk to him and let him say what he has to say... Hayaan mo siyang sabihin  ang lahat ng gusto niyang sabihin sayo..."

He said and pulled me into a hug. "and from then on you can decide.... whether to hold on or to let go" he said.

"b-but he's an Idol now.. Things are just complicated" I said.

"So what? Dahil ba Idol na siya sa tingin mo magkaiba na kayo ng mundo?" tanong ni Daddy. Tumango naman ako, because it's true. I think that he's way too out of my league.

"I think he's out of my league now..." bulong ko.

Isa siyang bituin na hindi ko kailan man maabot, bituin na hanggang sa tingin ko lang maabot.

Tumawa si daddy at umiling, tinignan ko naman siya na nagtataka. Why is he laughing now?

"What makes you think that?" tanong niya.

I shrugged. "See.... Magkaiba ba kayo ng hangin na nilalanghap?" tanong niya,Umiling ako.

"magkaiba ba kayo ng nakikitang araw? buwan? at mga bituin?"

Umiling ulit ako.

"Magkaiba ba kayo ng mundong tinitirahan?" tanong ni daddy. Natatawa akong umiling.

"I used to think your mom was way too out of my league, natatakot pa akong lumapit sa kanya dati kasi napakadami niyang manliligaw.... but she made me realize that no one is out of your league. Its just all in your head"

"What do you mean dad?"

"Your mom was the campus queen bee, and I am just a nobody..... And I used to think there's no way I can make her fall for me, we're like poles apart---" my dad said smiling, he looks really happy reminiscing about their lovestory.

"but setting aside my doubts, I took my chances with your mom. And boom! here we are happily married with two kids and..... a grandchild" he laughed. Naging seryoso ang mukha ni daddy at nginitian ako.

"You may have different lifestyles now... but he's not out of your league" he said and hugged me.

I sighed and hugged my dad back. Ngayon lang ulit ako nakapag sabi ng nararamdaman ko sa kanya. And it's good to have someone to listen and understand how you feel. I feel like the weight on my chest have been lifted.

"You grew up not being scared of spiders, cockroaches, worms and such... because you have your Kuya Kayden to play with" sabi ni daddy sabay tawa.

"Why are you saying this all of a sudden dad" natatawang tanong ko.Ang seryoso ng usapan namin tapos bigla niyang isisingit to. Numiti siya at hinawakan ang dalawang kamay ko. Biglang naging seryoso ang mukha niya.

"but... you grew up being scared to hurt people, you're scared to disappoint everyone around you. You always thinks of others first---" he sighed.

"and that's why you're always the one who understands.... the one who always need to do the sacrifice "

Napalunok ako. "Sa kagustuhan mong mapasaya ang lahat ng nakapaligid sayo..... handa kang ibigay pati sarili mong kaligayan." Malungkot ang mga ngiti ni daddy habang nakatingin siya sa akin.

"And I hate to see my own daughter sacrifice herself for the sake of other people.... masakit para sa akin na ama mo na makita kang nahihirapan" sabi niya.

Yumuko ako para hindi makita ni daddy ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko.

"This time I want you to choose yourself, piliin mo ang sarili mo at kung anong makakabuti para sayo at sa anak mo... Don't worry about us, because all we wanted is the best for you" bulong ni daddy at niyakap ako. Mas lalo namang tumulo ang mga luha ko.

"I don't want to disturb your daddy and daughter bonding, but here's your coffee" nakangiting sabi ni mommy saby lapag ng tray sa coffee table.

"Thanks, honey" sabi ni daddy kay mommy at inirapan siya ni mommy habang naka ngiti.

"Come here" sabi ni daddy sa kanya. Nakiyakap na din si mommy sa amin.

"Oh what's this? Group hug?" rinig kong tanong ni Kuya pagpasok niya sa bahay. Naramdaman ko ang pagsali din ni kuya sa yakapan namin.

" Ang lalaki na ng mga anak ko!" mom squealed.

I closed my eyes and let their hugs linger on me.Napakasaya ko dahil may mapagmahal akong pamilya. We all pulled away smiling. Umakyat na si Kuya sa kwarto niya para makapagbihis dahil kagagaling niya sa opisina niya.

Ngumiti si mommy sa akin at pinunasan niya ang mga luha sa mga mata ko.

"I want you to be strong not just for yourself, but also for your daughter" sabi niya at niyakap ako.

"Mom--" sabi ko, mom pulled away and looked at me concern was in her eyes.

"I always wanted to have a relationship just like what you and dad have" I said. Natawa naman silang pareho.

"Why? It's perfect... You've been together since you were teens and yet you're still in love with eachother"I said.

Umiling si mommy at hinawakan ang pisngi ko.

" It's not always rainbows and butterflies,Kara"she said and I looked at her confused.

She smiled and look at my dad.

" Our relationship is not perfect, at katulad ng pinagdadaanan mo ngayon... We've been there, and we understand how you feel"sabi ni daddy.

I looked at them more confused. They just smiled at me.

"I'll tell you why, you shouldn't want a love story like ours" sabi ni mommy.

//

Niyakap ko ang sarili ko habang nakatanaw sa may bintana at pinagmamasdan ang buwan. Tanging liwanag lang na nagmumula sa buwan ang nagsisilbing ilaw dito. It's almost 2 am at mahimbing parin ang tulog ni Celine.

I sighed.

Hindi ako makatulog, after the talk I had with my parents I felt relieved. But I still feel a little uncertain about what I feel. Ayaw ko ng gumawa ng desisyon na pagsisisihan ko rin sa huli.

Tama si daddy sa lahat ng sinabi niya, and maybe it's really time for me to think about myself and for Celine's sake. For once sarili ko naman ang iisipin ko.

I stared at the moon again. Remembering what I said to him before.

"I know you will... But when you miss me or when you feel far away from me just look at the moon, and remember that we're both looking at the same moon"

"And I promise you, pag tinitignan ko ang buwan ikaw ang inaalala ko"

I smiled to myself.

That is why I love the moon, I will just stare at it and I would feel like we're together even though we're really apart.

Napa-iling ako. I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff. Pero hindi ko naman mapigilan ang sarili ko.

Naglakad ako papunta sa kama at tumabi kay Celine. Hinaplos ko ang mukha niya at ginawaran ng halik ang noo niya.

"I'll make sure to make the best decision for you this time"bulong ko.

"I love you" I hugged her and drift off to sleep.

I just hope that the decision I'll make is for the best for everyone this time.