After kong kumanta ay nagpaalam muna ako sa kanila para i check si Celine sa taas.

Naupo ako sa kama habang tinititigan ang anak ko.

"I wish it was that easy forgetting your father" I sighed.

It's a new year but here I am moping about the past. Tinignan ko ang itsura ko sa salamin. I was so close to crying kanina habang kumakanta ako.

Bumuntong hininga ako, muli kong tinitignan si Baby Celine na mahimbing  na natutulog. I leaned down and kissed her.

"Mommy will be alright, because you're here" bulong ko.  Nadatnan ko silang nagsasayawan sa baba. Looks like the elders are wasted already. Tawang-tawa naman si Kuya Kayden kina mom at dad vinivideo niya pa ang mga to.

"Oh anjan na! Kara mag duet kayo ni Eunwoo! Request nila" sabi ni Yareli at itinuro ang mga magulang namin.

Nginitian ako ni Eunwoo and I did the same.

"Okay everyone hush!" sabi ni Yareli at plinay ang kanta.

~play Pag-ibig na Kaya by Liezel Garcia and Bugoy Drilon~

🎶"Di na maalala, pa'no nagsimula
Ikaw ang laging nasa isip ko bawat araw, Laging ikaw ang aking nakikita, Ano ba ang nadarama ko
T'wing ikaw ay kasama" 🎶

Tumingin ako kay Eunwoo. Is it wrong to see Taehyung when I'm with him?

🎶"Ganyan din ang nadarama ko
Tuwing ika'y lalapit sa akin
Ako'y parang natutulala Di ko malaman ang sasabihin ko" 🎶

I gulped. I feel like he really mean what he was singing, and I'm not ready for it. Fuck my heartbeat for beating so fast.

🎶"Pag-ibig na kaya
Pareho ang nadarama
Ito ba ang simula,'Di na mapipigilan Pag-ibig na ito
Sana'y 'di matapos ang nadaramang ito
Pag-ibig nga kaya ito
(Pag-ibig nga kaya ito)
Hooh... 'pagkat nararamdaman
Pag-ibig ating natagpuan" 🎶

As much as I want to look away, I can't. Parang may sariling utak ang mata ko na nakapako lang sa kanya.

Can I really find love in him? Bakit ba kasi naaalala ko si Taehyung sa lahat ng ginagawa niya?

🎶"Malalaman mo lamang ang nararamdaman
Na ako ay magiging ikaw
Damdamin nati'y magsama" 🎶

"you'll never know what you feel, unless you give it a try"

Nag echo sa utak ko ang sinabi ni mommy, nung tinanong niya kung may nararamdaman ba ako kay Eunwoo.

🎶"Laman ng puso ko'y ganyan din
Ikaw ay narito sa akin
'Di ko hahayaang mawalay
dito ka sa aking piling" 🎶

Nagtama na naman ang mga namin. I don't know what to feel.

🎶"Pag-ibig na kaya
Pareho ang nadarama
Ito ba ang simula
'Di na mapipigilan
Pag-ibig na ito
Sana'y 'di matapos ang nadaramang ito
Pag-ibig nga kaya ito
(Pag-ibig nga kaya ito)
Hooh... 'pagkat nararamdaman
Pag-ibig natagpuan" 🎶

Nagflashback sa utak ko ang unang beses na hinalikan niya ako. I was so ashamed of myself. Eunwoo kissed me but I was thinking of Taehyung.

🎶"Gagawin lahat (gagawin lahat)
Upang 'di magkalayo (upang 'di magkalayo)
Nandito lang ako
'Di kita iiwan
Kahit sandali, 'di ko papayagan
Mawalay ka sa akin" 🎶

I don't want to lose our friendship, I don't want to hurt him. He was the one who stood by my side. Ayokong pati siya mawala siya sa akin.

🎶"Pag-ibig nga kaya
Pareho ang nadarama
Ito ba ang simula
'Di na mapipigilan
Pag-ibig nga ito
Sana'y 'di matapos ang
nadaramang ito
Pag-ibig nga kaya ito
(Pag-ibig nga kaya ito)
Hooh... 'pagkat nararamdaman
Pag-ibig atin nang natagpuan" 🎶

Kung ganon lang kadali na kalimutan ang lahat, Kung hindi ko naaalala si Taehyung sa twing magkasama kami ni Eunwoo. I wouldn't feel this way.

Am I being affected by the lyrics? Am I being carried away by the atmosphere here? Or am I being swayed by him?

The questions in my head is so overwhelming. Hindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos. I know that Eunwoo likes me, but I'm not prepared yet.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled and ran outside.  I held my chest and let my tears flow freely.

Bakit ba napaka kumplikado ng lahat? I wanted all this pain to go away.

~play Malay Mo, Tayo by TJ Monterde~

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto na akong nasa labas. At nakatingin lang sa kawalan.

"Hi" rinig kong sabi ni Eunwoo, naupo siya sa tabi ko.

Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko at ngumiti sa kanya. It's a new year and I don't want to give him bad vibes seeing me cry.

"I wouldn't ask if you're okay, cause its obvious that you're not" saad niya na nakatingin sa kawalan.

"Ang hirap maghintay sa mga bagay na alam mong hindi mangyayari, pero mas mahirap bumitaw kasi alam mong iyon ang gusto mo" Napabuntong-hininga ako.

Sabi nila mahirap maghintay, sabi nila mahirap kalimutan ang isang tao. Pero diba mas mahirap yung hindi mo alam ang gagawin mo? kung susuko ka na ba o patuloy na maghihintay. Kahit na alam mong walang kasiguraduhan.

"sometimes what you wanted the most is what you're best without---" tumingin siya sa akin at ngumiti.

My heart hurts from what he said, maybe he's right. Maybe what I wanted is impossible. As much as I want to deny, I can't because he's right.

"let go of the illusion that it could have been different, let go of the what if's on your mind."

I felt my heart clenched, what he was saying was on my mind. Napakaraming tanong sa utak ko na hindi ko na alam kung anong sagot.

"I wish it was that easy---" Umiwas ako ng tingin at napa buntong-hininga na naman ako.

"I know that not all wounds are visible. Let it hurt, let it bleed, let it heal then let it go. I'll stay with you" he said and reached for my hand.

"Can I be honest with you?" tanong niya. Napalunok naman ako, my heart started beating fast again.

"When I first met you, I knew I liked you. It wasn't exactly love at first sight but I just knew that I  like you.I never knew you'd be this important to me---"

Napalunok ako, he was staring right trough my eyes.

"And everyday my feelings for you gets stronger" he smiled.

"W-why are y-you telling me all these?" I asked.

" I believe that if you love someone, you should tell them. Because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken."

Tama ba ang pakakarinig ko?

'if you love someone?'

Is he confessing now?Wait? He loves me? I bit my lower lip, why am I getting nervous?

"Eunwoo I---"

"I'm not telling you to like me back, cause I have said to you a million times. I'll wait, I just want you to know what I feel" he said cutting me off.

"I wanted to know how you feel about me, but I don't think you'll be able to answer it just yet---"

"I don't k-know.... I-I'm scared I don't want to lose you... Ayokong masaktan kita" my tears flowed down, yumuko ako to hide my face from him. But he tilted my head and wiped my tears away with his thumb.

"No, don't think about that, I know what I'm doing and I'm ready to get hurt. You can Use me to forget him."

"I can't do that---"

"I like you too much, no scratch that I Love You, Kara" he said. My eyes widened as I stare back at him. He sighed and cupped my face.

Umiling ako. I have tons of questions on my mind right now. What if masira ang friendship namin dahil dito? I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him.

Hindi ko na rin maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Am I catching feelings? or am I just confused?

"I never thought you'd mean so much to me. I actually fell for you even before I realize that I did."

Tumitig siya sa akin nakita ko ang paglunok niya ng bumaba ang tingin niya sa mga labi ko. Unti-unti niyang inilapit ang mukha niya sa akin.
Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, and then I felt his lips on mine.

My tears started rolling down my face when Taehyung's face popped up in my head, while he was kissing me. I froze.

I can't do this.

"I love you. " He said when he pulled away. My heart still beating like there's a fucking drum inside.

Lalo akong napaiyak sa sinabi niya. Pano ko sasagutin yan? I know I still love Taehyung, pero bakit? bakit ayaw kong saktan si Eunwoo.

I want to tell him I love him, but I can't lie. I don't to want to give him false hope. Not until I was sure of myself.

"Eunwoo I'm so---"

"Shhhh. I didn't say 'I Love You' to hear it back. I said it to make sure you knew." he said and hugged me.

"I'll wait until you can say those words back and mean it." He whispered.

Eunwoo's POV

I smiled as I watch her fall asleep.Si baby Celine natutulog sa kwarto nila Tita Serene. Hinawi ko ang buhok na nakaharang sa mukha niya.

She looks so peaceful, parang wala siyang problema. Napakaganda niya kahit na tulog siya.

" I wish I could take all your pain away, alam mo bang nasasaktan din ako sa tuwing nakikita kitang makungkot?" bulong ko.

I finally told her how I feel, and I felt like the heavy weight on my chest is now relieved. Ineexpect ko nang magiging ganon ang reaction niya, I'm just happy that I let my feelings out.

"I'm mad at that guy, if only he knew how much you're suffering because of him.... But I'm also envious because after all he had done, he still has your heart"

I leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Just forget him, I'm here for you."