Chapter 39
Spock awoke that morning. Oddly feeling upbeat. It was December 25th. McCoy was covered in a planthora of blankets with his head aimed in the oppossite direction. Spock sat down onto the rug by the side of his bed. It was late, no later than four. Spock lit the incense then began to meditate. There were other thoughts that were swimming through his mind. Some of which regarded Larken. Some of which regarded getting older. Some of which involved his grandchildren dying before him. Outliving his own kin felt like cruel to Spock. It was unfathomable. Spock could smell the incense. It was a newer one he had retrieved from the indoors incense replicator. His mind wondered with various subjects such as his gift for McCoy and the other gifts meant for the others.
"It is shower time!" Came Chapel's replacement, Benedict Pegg, with his floppy red hair and blazing green eyes. "Good mornin', mates! The sun is shinin' and the bears are hibernatin' and its CHRISTMASSS TIME!"
Spock opened his eyes right as the Australian went past their quarters.
"Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "Did you not hear Nurse Pegg?"
Spock used his bed as his support to get up. Truth to be told, Vulcans were less prone to bones making sounds as they aged including into their hundreds. But being half human had started to become a hinder lately. His knees ached. He hadn't been doing the meditation as he often did months ago. He approached the resting doctor. Spock pulled back the blanket, just to be sure, that the doctor was breathing. McCoy had his face on the pillow with half a smile on his face. And he was giggling. Giggling. Spock raised an eyebrow. The doctor had to be dreaming something pretty funny enough that he didn't want to wake up. The doctor could not sleep in and miss the usual shower.
"Doctor," Spock said. "I will marry you if you do not wake up within the next five minutes."
Spock came over to the drawer beside his bed then took out his loud attire.
"I will not be married against my will because of sleepin' in!" McCoy declared, after landing on the side of his bed. "That is stupid."
Spock did not fight the smile that grew out of spite.
"A logical way to wake you up."
McCoy opened the cap to the item on his counter then squirted it onto his fingers. He rubbed the ointment on the respective places where hair would normally grow for a beard. He used his free hand to open the night stands drawer. Spock was all ready rubbing his ointment on his face with his rolled up attire on the counter. Spock could feel the doctors glare resting on his backside.
"Spock, where are you going?" David asked. Young and alive, standing at the doorway of his bedroom.
Spock looked over to see the young man, in casual attire, looking at him confused. Twenty four years old. Bright blue eyes. Curly hair. And the look of curiosity on his face. He had high shoulders. Hands locked behind his back. He was visiting the Endeavor. Before she set out into space under a different crew to the museum of Starship History. Where she will be observed by passing visitors. Be taken care of automatically. Her other parts to be either decommissioned or destroyed or put into a starship junkyard. That way people who may need her could pick her up and go into space once more. She was fifty years old by Starship standard. It was hard to believe for Spock that it had been twenty years. Twenty years being assigned to the genesis project. He had to keep his mouth shut regarding the subject. He had seen his former crewmates give him the cold shoulder not giving a reply to him, mostly one being Leland. Leland ignored Spock that day. The Vulcan turned away from his duffle bag that was set on the bed.
"To patrol the neutral zone, David." Spock replied, icily.
"So that's it. . ." David said. "You are not going out there?"
"It is to be closer with my family." Spock said.
"If my dad wanted to be closer to family he would have stayed long ago. Your children must be hella lucky." David said. "To have a father who bothers to be part of their lives." He paced back and forth in the bedroom pouting. "Your kids are lucky to have you."
"Indeed." Spock said.
"You know. . . it doesn't feel fair. I feel like you should be out in space exploring the unknown."
"My place is not there." Spock said.
"It feels like your place isn't in the same old same old. . ." David said. "Do you even know where you belong?"
"As a wise human once said, 'To be, or not to be, that is the question.'," Spock said. "Humans are constantly searching for validation and sense of belonging. I do not share the same desire as humans--"
"Despite being half human." David said.
"David." Spock said.
"Can I be honest here?" David asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Affirmative." Spock said.
"I feel like you are throwing away your career when you could be out there helping to shape Star Fleet doing good. What good will you be doing patroling the neutral zone?" Spock stared back at David, blankly. "I don't see the point. But you do. If you were my father. . . If you were. Which I wish. I would have told you to not toss your career away."
"But you are not." Spock said.
"Can't keep the bass from dooming itself." David snickered, then he approached the Vulcan who was taller than him. He looked him in the eyes appearing to be emotional, but more sad. "Mr Spock . . . Don't forget me." David said. "Please?"
"I will not." Spock said. "It would be impossible to forget you."
"Thanks for being my father figure." David said, with a smile.
"I thought your father figure was the captain." Spock said, alarmed but he did not display it.
"No, he wasn't, that really was all your doing. " David twirled his index fingr in the air. "I hope I will be seeing you around."
"I to you." Spock said.
"How does the saying go again?" David held his hand up making the peace sign. "Live long . . . and peace out?"
Spock, skeptically, raised the eyebrow.
"It is live long and prosper--" Spock raised his right hand making the ta'al sign.
David rammed the Vulcan into a hug, catching Spock off guard.
"I will miss you . . . " David said. "Spock."
"I hate to break it to you but you are not that youn' anymore," McCoy said, in a low voice. Spock turned his head in the direction of the doctor perplexed. "Spock, are you comin' or not?" Now the doctor sounded annoyed. "Not goin' to stand here all day arguin' about some Orion you knew a hundred years ago."
He had been sure they ended but they were back with a vengeance. There was a expression of confusion, bewilderment, and disbelief on the Vulcan's face. Could this just be a random episode? Once in a blue moon? Now Spock understood the phrase "It happens once in a blue moon" that was carried throughout human writing. He hadn't been drifting into the past once more. Spock was comfortable in the present. He was trying to see the logic behind it. He was happy before the episode began. Comfortable in his own skin. For the first time in his hundred fifty-eight years of living. What was Spock going on again? What kind of doubts were he having? None, far as Spock was concerned, none what so ever.
"Are you all right?" McCoy apparated in front of the Vulcan gently putting one hand on Spock's shoulder.
"I do not know." Spock said.
McCoy could hear the fear in the Vulcan's voice.
"What are you scared of now?" McCoy asked.
"Regrets." The words came out of the Vulcan's mouth before he could stop himself. "Regrets, Leonard."
"Just how many regrets do you have?" McCoy asked, with a raised eyebrow.
"Many." Spock said.
McCoy lowered his eyebrow.
"We should talk about one of your regrets,Spock." McCoy said, sliding his hand off the Vulcan's shoulder. "Let's talk about on the way to the showers."
"That would be acceptable." Spock said.
"Start with the small ones," McCoy said "The least trivial thin' that a human considers normal."
"Does this mean I should start telling you my regrets each day?" McCoy said.
"When you think it is appropriate." McCoy said, as they walked out of their quarters with clothes in hand and McCoy had one hand on the side of Spock's backside. "Talkin' about regrets is good for the soul."
"I regret not telling my mother I cared about her, deeply." Spock said.
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