I woke up to the doorbell, the harsh ringing echoing around the house. Sweet Pea, who had been laying on her back, jumped off my head and headed out my bedroom door. I shrugged the duvet off myself and sat up groggily, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around blearily. I noticed a small plastic tub on my bedside table, I picked it up, noticing a small piece of paper. Xo Gee was written on the paper in scrawled black ink. I opened the pot and immediately the sweet scent of chocolate chip cookies wafted towards my nose, making me relax. "Oh I fucking love you, Gerard." I said aloud, grateful for the sustenance.

The doorbell began ringing once again, knocking me out of my half-dazed daydream. I trudged down the stairs, still clad in my pyjamas from days ago. I reached the door and opened it slowly. My aunt stood on the doorstep. For someone so closely related to my mother they turned out extremely differently, though, to be fair, my mother was hardly to blame. I noticed things on my aunt that were similar to my mother, her soft brown hair, the slight wrinkles that sprouted like tree branches from the corners of her eyes.

My aunt had visited us alot after my father had died and I had grown extremely close to her.

"Hi, Marie." I sighed, grateful to see her.

"Hello, Darling." She greeted, as she placed her bags on the floor before pulling me into a bone crushing hug, "I'm so sorry about your mother." She sighed, sorrowfully.

We separated from the hug. I offered to carry her bags but she shushed me saying how it was unnecessary. I led her into the living room. "Do you want coffee, or..." I trailed off.

"Nonsense, I'm perfectly capable of making myself coffee." Marie responded as she hurried off to the kitchen. I ambled behind her and slumped down at the kitchen table, picking at the wood grain.

The noises of the kitchen muted around me as I retreated back inside my own head, the stern voice of the police officer drifted through my thoughts, chills ran up and down my spine as I remembered the world spinning around me. I snapped out of my trance when Marie sat down at the table, nursing a steaming mug of coffee.

"Where's the- uhm, the lizard?" I asked, trying to jog my memory of the reptile my aunt was so fond of.

"Oh you mean Harold?" She said and I nodded, "he's at a friends house, I wasn't sure how comfortable you'd be with live insects in your house."

"Oh no, that's fine. You can bring him over." I said, remembering the bearded dragon that had kept my aunt company for the past seven years, my aunt nodded at that and returned to nursing her coffee. I fell quiet again, replaying the past couple days events in my head.

"Are you okay dear?" Marie asked once again, noticing the glazed over look to my eyes.

I shrugged, "I'll be okay." I said solemnly.

"I know how hard it is dear, especially becuase of your father. It's okay if you're struggling, you don't have to just get over it." She reassured me as she got up to wash her now empty cup.

"Thank you, Marie." I said honestly, a sad smile gracing and over my lips. I headed back up to my room, my still-bare feet scuffing the carpet.

I flopped down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow, I lay there for a good fifteen minutes, breathing deeply. After the pain from the previous days all I felt now was numbness. A pure aching fog flowed through my bones, it sweeped up my inhibitions, drowning them in a deep pool of incomprehensible emotion. My mind floated through a series of memories, both good and bad, all irrelevant at the moment.

A harsh ringing sounded out behind me, I chose to ignore and bury my face deeper into the pillow, willing the noise to stop. After a few moments I pulled my head up from where it was firmly planted in the cotton and dragged my phone from my nightstand.

I didn't bother to acknowledge the caller as I pressed the 'accept call' button, "hello?" I spoke into the phone.

"Are you okay?" The voice I recognised as my Vampire responded, concern lacing his tone.

"Why wouldn't I  be?" I said, trying to joke regardless of the current situation.

"Because the last time I saw you you'd broken enough plates to make Greek newlyweds envious."

"Okay, good point." I sighed. "Can I come over? I'm having a breakdown and I don't need my aunt seeing me sobbing."

"Why did you bother- fuck me daddy, asking?" He scoffed, "of course you can." He said, his voice softer.

"Okay, thank you. I'll see you in a sec." I said, my voice trailing off.

I heard Gerard shout something obscene before I hung up the phone and walked over to my closet to finally change out of my three day old pyjamas. I shrugged on an Iron Maiden hoodie and some beaten up jeans, not bothering to shower as I grabbed my phone and headed downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen where Marie was rifling through the cupboards, "I'm just gonna head over to my friends for a bit. To talk. And probably cry." I admitted.

"That's fine dear, I was about to head out quickly to buy some more plates. You don't seem to have any."

"Oh yeah, a thing happened." I mumbled, "I'll pay you for the plates." I said, feeling guilty.

"That's nonsense, I'm the one with a job." She scoffed, as if the thought appalled her. I shrugged it off and went over to the door and slipped on my usual once black, now grey, converse.

I exited out the door, breathing in the crisp air that made my lungs burn from the cold. I stood in the freezing air for a moment, appreciating the frost that slapped me back to my senses. The sharp sunlight broke across the rooftops, blanketing over my face, making my eyes squint harshly. The smell of wet grass lingered in the air, a refreshing smell after hiding in my house in the same clothes for three days straight.

I turned and walked in the direction of Gerard's house, hearing the frost crunch under my feet. I eyed the rays of sun on the paved floor, damp moss grew between the cracks. A piece of nature in a synthetic world.

I arrived at Gerard's house after five minutes, my mood lifting slightly at the thought of seeing him. I rang the bell, hearing the soft chime ring out inside the house.
Gerard opened the door a few moments after, his black hair ruffled like normal, his usual black hoodie hung limply on his skinny frame. Dark circles framed his eyes, making him look tired and weak.

"Hi, Frankie." He said softly, I didn't respond as I walked through the door and shrugged my shoes off. I thrust my arms around him, craving the comfort of another human. I felt him reach over to close the door behind me before wrapping his own arms around my body. I nestled my head into his neck, his body heat reassuring me. I gripped his back tightly, feeling his hands run up and down my back comfortingly.

We separated after a moment and I looked up at his eyes, "how are you?" He asked quietly, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. I shrugged at the question, my eyes casting down at my feet, the eye contact making me uncomfortable. He wrapped his arms around my small frame again, kissing me gently on my forehead. The soft contact of his lips made me shiver and I leaned into his arms. "You'll be okay." He half whispered to me.

He separated from me and grabbed my hand, hastily pulling me into the living room, "What're you doing?" I asked, my voice slurring from my lack of sleep, my socked feet dragging on the carpet.

"Looking after, you- fuck yeah, you look like a corpse." He responded. He half pushed me down onto the sofa before scuttling off to the kitchen, "I'm making you coffee." He called back. I folded my knees up to my chest, sinking between the soft cushions slightly.

I listened to the soft clanking of cups and the low grinding of the coffee machine, realising just how tired I was. Gerard re-entered the room, two steaming cups of coffee in his hands. He handed one to me before sitting down next to me on the sofa, tucking his feet up next to him. We sat in a comfortable silence, save from Gerard's occasional tics.

I thought back to the last time we had a rational conversation, though I wasn't entirely sure either of us were thinking rationally. I shook myself out of my train of thought looking round the room, eyeing the photos of various family holidays, though I noticed Gerard's father was never present. I remembered back to the conversation where Gerard had explained he'd never met his father, I remembered the vacant look in his eyes, as though trying to remember something that he couldn't reach.

I continuously sipped my coffee, welcoming the warmth. I leaned back into the sofa, taking a deep breath, intaking the bittersweet scent of the coffee.

I heard Gerard place his empty cup onto the dark coffee table, I downed the remaining contents of mine before my mug followed suit.

I leaned back into the sofa before flopping into Gerard's arms. "Talk to me." I mumbled into his hoodie.

"About what?" He asked as he rubbed his hand up and done my back in soothing motions.

"Anything, just distract me." I half slurred. My face now buried in his chest.

"Oh, uhm, I don't know- My dick is on fire. Oh! I finally watched The Blaire Witch Project the other day and I don't really get what all the fuss is about." I nodded to let him know I was listening, "Like they kinda just wander around a forest for a bit and then get all freaked out over piles of rock. Not to mention that dipshit that threw the map in the river."

I let Gerard continue on his tangent as I listened intently, trying to stave of the untimely memories and depression that lurked in the back of my mind.

"Gee?" I asked softly, rousing him from his speech about how The Blaire Witch Project was only good becuase it pioneered the DIY home-shot movie trope.

"Yeah?" He said, looking down at me.

"Are we gonna talk about what happened the other day-"

"I'm straight." He cut me off bluntly, "I'm straight, that wasn't supposed to happen, I don't know what did happen but it was nothing."

"Okay, that's fine." I said softly, feeling him get agitated beneath me. I couldn't help the uncomfortable disappointment that settled in my lower stomach, remembering how in tune we had felt when we had had sex. You can't have that without a connection. Can you?

I felt my eyelids grow heavy as a nuzzled further into my Vampires hoodie, hearing the soft thump of his heartbeat resonate through his chest. "You look tired." Gerard whispered to me as he began to stroke the top of my head gently, I didn't respond to him, only nodded, as I drifted off into a long awaited sleep.

A/N: Enter cooky ace/aro aunt who just happens to have a pet lizard. Epik.

Okay don't even get me started on The Blaire Witch Project, I have so many things to say about that movie.

How are y'all doing? You better be trying to look after yourselves <3

And yes, I know how long it's been since the last update. Depression is a bitch but I got my dear friend to yell at me.

Oh, and Gerard rejecting his gay self is now a thing.

Bai Bai duckiez 🤠