Gerard's pov.

Trigger warning for suicide, they only mention it briefly but I'll put a line of *asterisks* before and after they've talked about it. Oh, and the whole chapter kinda deals with the death of Frank's parents so just ~stay safe and funky~

I awoke to a small tapping noise. I sat up groggily, my eyes fused together with sleep. I rubbed my eyes blearily and looked around, the room was cloaked in darkness, strange shadows morphed in the corners. The tapping noise continued, irritating me slightly. I signed heavily before heaving my tired body out if bed and tried to focus on the noise. My ears trained on the wall to my right, where my window was placed, I headed over and pulled back the curtains, peering down into the dark street. To my surprise Frank was stood underneath the street light that was stationary outside my window, the soft white glow casting over his pale features, a wide grin spread over his face. I rolled my eyes at the sight of him before pushing the glass open, resting my elbows on the window ledge, one of my eyebrows raised questioningly. I tried to suppress the smile that was threatening to break out over my face.

"Took you a while." He teased jokingly, shoving his hands into the pocket of his leather jacket.

"Yeah well I was kind of preoccupied." I responded sarcastically. The cold air filtered in through the window, making me shiver as I half-heartedly glared down at my friend.

"Well you're awake now. Come down here." He playfully ordered. I sighed over-dramatically, rolling my eyes again before heading away from the window. I rifled through my closet quickly, dragging out my usual pair of black jeans, I pulled them quickly over my black underwear. Not bothering to change the shirt I had gone to bed in, an oversized and worn out Black Flag shirt.

I grabbed my phone off from where it was charging on my nightstand, not bothering to check the time as I shoved it in my jean pocket. I quickly remembered to grab my hoodie from the back of my chair, pulling it over my head hurriedly and walking out my room. I quietly walked down my stairs, my feet soft and slow on the light beige carpet. I retrieved the key from the bowl on the table, unlocking the door quietly. I slipped outside, the cold air sending a chill down my spine.

"Hey." I whispered quietly, trying to refrain from waking up my parents.

"Hi." He grinned back, "I've been standing out here for ages." He joked as we started walking away from my house.

"I was asleep."

"You're a deep sleeper." He laughed. His entire demeanor had changed since the last time I saw him, not only was he smiling and laughing, his mood seemed so much lighter, as if a giant crushing weight had been relieved from his shoulders. I nodded in agreement to his statement, my mind elsewhere, pondering his change of persona.

"What- ah my dick is on fire," I started, stopping to laugh at myself, "what time is it?" I continued, glancing up at my friend as I walked.

"About three am." He answered.

My head jerked to the side and involuntarily flung my arm to the side , hitting a bush with my hand. "And may I ask why you're dragging me out in the middle of the night?" I queried.

"Why not. I was bored." He responded.

"Of course." I sighed, smiling to myself. I breathed in the cold air, sighing deeply, my breath making visible patterns as I exhaled.  "Ah ah, do you want to go to hell?" I ticced, I smiled as I heard Frank laugh softly beside me.

We approached the road, puddles lined the mud coated gutters, was growing from the cracks in the road. A small piece of life in a hostile environment.

"Why are you all happy now, this morning in thought you were gonna punch a car." I said somewhat jokingly as we crossed the road.

I heard Frank laughing at the mental image of him beating the shit out of a car, I glanced at him as he began talking, "I don't know dude. I was sat, just staring, at this fucking lizard my aunt brought over and I had a slight epiphany. That or I'm currently having a mental breakdown, I'm not really sure." He didn't elaborate on his so called "epiphany" so I just nodded knowingly.

I looked up when I realised were we where, the steel iron bars of the cemetery gates loomed in front of us, the strong metal reflecting the light of the moon dimly. A life-like depiction of Jesus on the cross, carved out of a dark wood, hung on the arch above the gates, his eyes appeared to gaze down at us as we walked closer, a shiver went up my spine as I peered at the wooden model. I snapped out of my thoughts as the loud creaking of the gate sounded out into the street. "They really need to learn how to lock this gate." Frank laughed, traipsing info the churchyard. 

I stopped suddenly once I'd passed through the gate, "wait, Frank?" I implored, he turned around to face me, nodding, "isn't this where your mom's buried?" I asked gently, not wanting to upset him.

"Yep!" He exclaimed, all too excitedly. It was then I decided that Frank's behaviour was probably leaning more towards the 'mental breakdown' side of things opposed to the 'life changing epiphany' side.

"I've killed 52,000 men." I exclaimed as we walked past down the cobbled path. The muscles in my neck tensed uncomfortably as I followed Frank past the various graves. Trees loomed on either side of the path, their evergreen branches drooping towards the ground. The oldest, most worn, gravestones had tilted forward slightly, proof of their age. Moss and weeds grew in almost every grave, having been forgotten and neglected over time. The eerily silent church stood to the side, it's stained glass windows held creepy depictions of Jesus on the cross and a gruesome scene of the virgin Mary crying blood, her pale hands held in prayer in front of her body, he sunken as seemed to follow me despite being pointed toward the sky.

I followed Frank deeper into the graveyard, the moon tracing our path through the dewy grass. I saw my friend stop at a mound of dirt a few metres in from of me, I stopped moving as I watched him sink to his knees, I watched as he tentatively placed a shaking hand onto the upturned soil. I walked over to him slowly, coming to stand behind him. I gazed down over the newly turned dirt until my eyes reached the small gravestone that sat at the head of the grave. My features fell remorsefully as I read the words carves into the stone. "Here lies Linda Iero, loving mother, wife and sister. Rest easy now. 1964-2007." The swirling font seemed to glare evilly as I read the inscription, my eyes glances down to the bottom of the gravestone, noticing more carved words, "here lies Frank Iero Sr, wife to Linda Iero, dearly missed. 1960-2001."

I knelt down beside Frank, watching him fiddle with the grass absentmindedly. We sat in silence for a moment, the soft rustling of nearby tree branches the only sound to be heard.

A small while later Frank reached a hand into his leather jacket and pulled out a small picture frame that housed a grainy looking photo, he ran his thumb over the corner absentmindedly as he gazed down over it. The Iero family stood pride of place in the centre of the photo, a much younger, shorter, Frank stood in the middle, a large grin on his face, his brown hair stuck up at odd angles. He was wearing a pale blue T-Shirt, a similar shade to the clear sky that hung above the sparkling sea in the background of the photo. One of his hands clutched a half eaten ice cream, the other clutching the hand of a man I assumed to be his father. His mother stood on the left, her dark blonde hair held in a loose bun behind her head, a pair of round sunglasses perched softly on her nose. She was clutching a red and white striped beach bag in one hand, the other was placed gently on her son's shoulder, a bright smile sat on her face. The man holding Frank's hand looked very stereotypically "dad", he was dressed in a white shirt and cargo shorts, a black backpack over one shoulder, a large grin was spread over his face, making his eyes crinkle at the corners.

I looked back up to where Frank was still gazing fondly at the photo, a small smile present on his features. He shuffled round to the side of the grave, and lent over to lean the frame against the headstone. I watched as he took a deep breath and glanced up towards the sky, briefly whispering something before he came back round to join me. I put my arm around his shoulders, feeling him nuzzle his head into my neck slightly. I rubbed my hand up and down his arm comfortingly, feeling the warm leather of his jacket contrast with my warm palms.

A few moments later I Frank stood up beside me, he held out his hand to pull me up from the ground. I accepted his hand, feeling the warmth of his palm spread through my cold one. He helped me up and began dragging me through the countless amount of graves back in the direction of the church. I clutched his hand tightly as we wove past the decades old headstones, their inscriptions faded and forgotten over time.

Frank pulled me round the side of the church, leading me over to a small bench that sat peacefully under a large oak tree. I noticed a copper plaque with a name engraved on it as I sat down. Frank sat next to me, pulling his feet up to the side of him, I felt his warm breath on my neck as he rested his head on my shoulder. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach as I glanced down at my friend, who's eyes were busy scanning the fields that spread out past the graveyard. The moon shone through the tree branches above us, making the damp grass seem to almost glow in the dim light.

********

We sat in a comfortable, almost complete, silence, aside from the rustling of the window, the occasional hoots of owls or my tics. "I'm glad I'm not dead." I eventually said.

"Huh?" Frank exclaimed, making me laugh quietly.

"When I tried to kill myself... I'm glad I didn't." I said truthfully.

"You have no idea how fucking relieved I was when I found out you were okay." Frank responded. I felt almost guilty, wondering what would've happened if I had succeeded in my attempt. I looked down at the floor guiltily.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, almost embarrassedly.

Frank sat up from where he was leaning against me, practically glaring at me. "Why are you apologising?"

I shrugged, "I didn't think about you or anyone else. I just thought you'd be glad I was gone." I mumbled.

"Gerard," he said seriously, "don't ever think that, even for a second. I love you, your family loves you. No one would ever be grateful you were gone." He said sternly, his green eyes meeting my own.

*******

I didn't respond as Frank resumed his position against my shoulder, bringing his feet back up beside him. I inhaled shakily, my eyes growing wet as I thought over Frank's words. I stared back down at the ground, practically burning a hole in the grass trying to stave off the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.

I moved my gaze from the ground up to the sky. The ink-black sky was suspended above the dark fields, thousands of stars were painted across the blackness. The moon hung gently in the sky, projecting gentle beams of light down onto the earth. A few wispy clouds sat stationary, the light from the moon shining through them, making them glow a soft solved colour.

I glanced back down at my friend, remembering what I had been thinking just before I'd fallen asleep that night. I had been arguing with myself about it for months, never wanting to tell anyone. I inhaled shakily, "h-hey, Frank?" I said. I felt him nod against my shoulder and make a small noise of recognition "I'm gay." I blurted out, surprising myself, not thinking I was actually going to say it.

I felt Frank shift from my shoulder to a sitting position, both his feet now on the ground. "You are?" He asked quietly, almost hopefully. I nodded shyly, my hands trembling slightly.

"I- I like you." I confessed.

"I like you too." He smiled at me as he brought his hand up to the side of my face gently.

I felt him lean in as I did the same and our lips collided gently.

A/N: SUP FUCKERS. That was too aggressive. How are y'all today? You better be taking care of yourselves, drink the water, do the nap thing, do the self care stuff. You deserve it. I love you y'all <3

Keep yourself safe.

Bai Bai duckiez 🦇🦇