*Trigger Warning?*

Luckily, Vanessa didn't have to work today. Unfortunately, no one got much sleep. Lin and V took care of Sebastian on and off all night while the sleep I got was full of nightmares. The ending result was all of us eating oatmeal tiredly around the kitchen table. The only person in a pleasant mood was Sebastian who was smashing his oatmeal with his hand.

"Someone is happy," Lin remarked while he wiped off some oatmeal off his face.

"He better be," Vanessa commented. Her hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, but she didn't care. She still was very pretty.

I smiled softly and scooped up some oatmeal. My mind wandered over to last night. Had Lin told Vanessa what had happened yet or were we having some family meeting? I hadn't had one of those since I was 6 after the boys and I got lost. Long story short we had been grounded for a week.

"Thomas! Thomas!" Sebastian yelled. I looked at the child quizzically.

"Was that a Hamilton or Thomas the Tank Engine reference?" I asked.

"Definitely Thomas, it was the only thing that put him asleep last night," Vanessa explained.

"Technically this morning," Lin said. He pointed his spoon at his wife.

"Lin-Manuel," Vanessa said threateningly.

"Ooh. Whole name," I joked, "someone's in trouble."

"Lark," Lin said exasperatedly, "please don't encourage her."

Vanessa and I shared a glance that said 'like I need encouragement, I am the empress of shade'.

"Oh no, they're teaming up on me! Come on little man, we've gotta stick together!" Lin panicked before grabbing a messy Sebastian from his highchair and running. Vanessa and I sat in awed silence

"Did he just kidnap your child?" I asked.

"I-I think so," Vanessa said in awe at the empty child's chair.

"Cool beans," I shrugged and finished my oatmeal.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

It took five raisins and a spatula to get Sebastian to waddle back to our side. Lin now sat on the couch, slightly pouting, and going on Twitter. Vanessa was working in her office and I sat in my room thinking. Thinking is rather dangerous, especially when you sit in silence.

I had rational thoughts of course, but I found most of my thoughts to be twisted, demented. Like me.

"You could've died."

"That would've been awfully lucky of me."

"That's sick!"

"Like that's new."

"You should just die already."

"Maybe later."

Yup, I'm screwed up. I let out a soft laugh and fell back onto my blue bed. My light brown hair landed in my face but I let it remain there as I found I was too tired to move.

I stared up at the bland white ceiling and thought.

Hamilton's getting pretty popular, and so is Lin. My mind wandered back to the Champagne cover Lin and I did. How innocent I was back then. Sure, I was submerged in the dark, but now I'm a living part of it. Trapped, that's what I was. Trapped under layers- layers of what? Numbness? Emotions? Hormones?

What if the fangirls/boys/other hated me? I'm nothing like my family. Lin was an awkward genius, Vanessa a lawyer scientist, and Sebastian was so frikkin' adorable. I wasn't even a Miranda. I was a lowly Evans, a family of abusers, drug addicts, death, and teenage pregnancies.

How would Vanessa react to my insane grandparents? Would she worry for Sebastian's safety? Tears clouded up as I realized I was endangering all of them.

"This isn't over."

That's what my grandparents had said. Were they brave enough to come after me half a continent away? No. They weren't.

Relief rushed through me just as my door opened. I jerked up from my supine position.

"Hey Lark, Vanessa wants us to talk about last night," Lin said carefully. He thought I was fragile, he was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm coming," I responded quickly, defiantly.

"Okay?" Lin said, "We'll be in the living room."

He left and I sat there. Stupid! He's been nice this whole time and your making things up. I sighed and took a big breath. You can do this. Just don't cry.

Hesitantly, I stood up and walked to the living room. Vanessa sat in a chair facing the couch, I joined Lin on the couch.

"Okay, I want to know what happened yesterday," Vanessa said seriously.

"Murderous grandparents?" I supplied quickly. Lin tried not to laugh on my left. Vanessa gave us a look.

"She's not wrong, unfortunately," Lin said half-jokingly and half-serious, "her grandparents attacked her."

A gasp escaped Vanessa. Her eyes widened, "What? Backup, what happened exactly?"

"It started at the wake, Vanessa. I greeted them but they got angry. Lin came over to help me, but they were furious. They called Lin a lesser version of my father. They called me a demon and a-a"

"They called her a skank," Lin finished for me. Vanessa looked surprised.

"Then they pulled me away at the funeral, next thing I knew I was against the church with a knife to my throat," I went on. I put a hand to the scratch on my throat.

"They did what? That's not okay, Lark," Vanessa said worriedly and kind of angrily.

"I pushed them away," Lin added, "they threatened us, but I lied and said the cops were coming."

Vanessa rubbed her right temple, "Were there any law enforcement involved?"

We said nothing.

"I begged him not to, V" I explained, "I just needed to get to New York."

Vanessa sighed, "I get that, but what if they go after any one else?"

"They won't, they only hate me because of what I did," I looked at the floor feeling guilty.

"What are you talking about, Alondra? What did you do?," Lin asked confused.

My eyes burned, "I- When they had me against the church. They made me admit that I was responsible for everyone dying."

"Lark, I don't understand. How could you be responsible?" Vanessa asked. I couldn't reply.

"Lark!"

"Layton and Logan were born with birth defects, if I hadn't been born than they're chances of requiring them would have decreased greatly. I was supposed to be in the car accident, not Lucas. Dad got sick because of me. Mom killed herself because of me," tears ran down my face and my shoulders shook. My fault. All my fault.

Arms fell around me, "Alondra, none of it is your fault. I don't know why you think it is, but it isn't. "

"Lark," Vanessa said softly, "you can't blame yourself for their deaths. It was just their time."

Yeah, like I believed that. Instead, I wiped the tears from eyes, "Yeah, you're right. I-I just- It's just that they got in my head. They were yelling at me next to the church."

"They're wrong, Alondra, you are completely innocent," Lin reassured.

"But we have big news if our own or at least Lin does," Vanessa added. I looked at Lin quizzically, what were they talking about?

"Awhile back I auditioned for Mary Poppins II, I got the roll," Lin said.

I smiled, "That's great! How long is shooting?"

"From October to into next year. It's also in London," Lin said slowly.

"So your going to be in England for a couple months?"

"Actually," Vanessa added, "we're all going to England. And shootings going to be more like a year. Lin got a lead."

Oh. Oh, I see. They're leaving me when October comes, maybe sooner.

"So you guys will just leave me?"

Lin gasped, "No! God no! We would never leave you, mi Alondra."

"We were hoping that you'll come with us," Vanessa replied.

"Foster care allows that?"

"No, we were hoping for your stay with us to be a bit more permanent," Vanessa answered.

"We want to adopt you, if you want that," Lin declared.

Oh. My. God. They just asked to adopt me.

"But you don't have to answer that, not for awhile," Vanessa soothed. I- I just don't know.

Word count: 1337

Well that escalated quickly. How is everyone?

@rachelsfault asked "We are Lark's grandparents so crazy?"

Well, Larks grandparents have also lost a lot. Their song, grandsons, and daughter-in-law. They only one left standing is Lark. Also, medication takes a toll on the mind.

A couple new developments is my new niece, Natasha. And we got a paternity test back for another child, so now there's two year old Londyn. My great grandmother in California died before Thanksgiving and my great uncle died on Christmas.

I perfectly fine and I wish you a happy New Year. Be careful as their seems to be a lot if death happening. I pray for the souls recently departed.

Ever yours, hlwing