9 - Damaged Goods
1.7k words
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The day was done, long, but finally done.
I sat in my car in the parking structure, most cars around me were gone for the day except the one belonging to my boss. He was still upstairs, trying to perfect his pitch for the meet-up next week. I've learned that he's terrified of failure, although he tries to act like he's not afraid of anything, and even more terrified of disappointing his mother. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up sleeping here.
I wouldn't be surprised if I end up sleeping here.
I tried to leave multiple times, but my vision was blocked by the tears that never stopped. I held it in all day, I did good and I was proud of myself. But even the strongest people can only endure so much before they crack.
I was cracking.
I held my hand to my chest as I leaned forward with a painful sob. I felt like my heart would stop at any minute from the amount of agony it was suffering through. I gave years of my life to that man. Those were years that I wasted and would never get back, so not only was I devastated, I was angry. I could've given those years to someone who deserved it, who deserved me.
If there is someone meant for me, life feels empty and hopeless.
I'd be lying if I said the thought of driving my car off a cliff didn't come to mind. I wouldn't be ending it over a man either, that would be stupid and not would I want written on my headstand: (y/n) (y/l/n), death by stupidity. I would end it over the loss of hope that life has any meaning. Every time I get close to something I want, it gets ripped away from me. My dream job, marriage, a family... does it ever get better? Or will I continue to be tossed to the wolves.
I breathed in and out, finally running out of tears. Just when I was about to put my car into reverse, there was a knock on my window. I glanced and sighed upon seeing Skywalker standing there with his eyes peering in. I had tinted windows so he couldn't see the state I was in, but I know he could see a shadow.
I rolled the window down only a crack, I didn't want him to see me completely, "What do you want?"
"Roll it down more," He gestured with his finger for me to lower it.
"No, just tell me what you want so I can go home." I stubbornly denied his request.
He narrowed his eyes, but sighed in defeat, "Whatever, here," He slipped a paper in the two inch crack, "Can you read that and tell me what you think when you come in tomorrow?"
I grabbed it before it could fall to the floor of my car and skimmed through it, it was his pitch, "First off, it doesn't need to be this long," I said when I noticed it was stapled and had two more pages attached, "One page will do, you don't want to bore them."
"Then help me cut it down," His tone was demanding.
"Say please." I doubt his kind and polite mother raised him to be such a brat.
He sighed again, "Please, just look it over and cross out what need not be said and bring it in tomorrow so I can fix it."
"Fine," I set it on the passenger seat and nearly teared up again when I saw Arthur's cologne bottle in the door. I reached over and grabbed it to look it over for the first time, there was writing on it: To my love Arthur, love Katrina.
I scoffed, was that the little tart in my house last night? How many obvious signs were there that I missed?
"Fucking bitch," I mumbled as I rolled my window down and threw the cologne out, almost hitting Skywalker. Instead, it shattered a foot away from him.
His eyes went wide as he looked at the broken bottle, then to me, "Jesus, I said please."
Once I realized what I had done, I felt regret. Normally I don't lose myself like that, but as I said before, a person can only endure so much, "I'm sorry," I opened my door and got out, leaving my car running, "That was Arthur's, I saw red for a moment there." I laughed at myself as I bent down to begin slowly picking up the glass, "A gift from his mistress." I said quietly, only grabbing the large pieces.
"Leave that, you're going to hurt yourself. A janitor will get it." He placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me but I shrugged him off.
"No it's my mess," I thought I had run out of tears, but apparently not, "No one needs to clean up my—" I dropped a shard with a hiss when I cut my finger.
"I told you," Skywalker mumbled with annoyance as he grabbed my first and pulled me to my feet. He inspected my finger that only had a small drop of blood running down it, "What kind of idiot picks up glass with their bare hands?" He grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and wrapped it around my finger.
"Apparently this one," My voice was shaking. I looked up from my finger into his eyes that were fixated on his task.
He sighed and made sure to tie it tight, "Put medicine on it when you get home," He let go, his eyes meeting mine, "Leave the mess, I'll take care of it. Just get home, safely." He quickly wiped the tears from under my eyes with his thumbs, "And did I not tell you to stop crying, men are hardly worth a woman's tears."
"Thank you," I whispered with a sniffle.
"Yeah," He backed away as he looked down, "See you tomorrow, don't be late." He turned around and walked away.
"What about the—"
"I'm getting a broom. Unlike you I have brain cells."
Without another word, I turned and went back into my car. This time I left immediately, I didn't want to be around when he came back down. I was embarrassed enough.
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The one thing I feared when it came to going back to my apartment was that Arthur would be there. I dreaded it, my heart pounded in my chest the entire drive home. So I felt more than relieved when I walked through the door and he was nowhere to be seen. It seems the threatening text I sent him just an hour ago worked. I told him he better not be here or his mother would be on the other end of my next call. He wouldn't want her knowing what he did, she is the one person that absolutely terrifies him. She has no problem putting him in his place, and it feels relevant to add that she adores me more than her own children.
I closed and locked the door behind me before tossing my purse and keys on the table next to the door. I went to my bedroom and opened the closet, hoping to see that it was half empty, it wasn't...
I went into our bathroom, his essentials were still in the cabinet, shower, and on the sink.
I walked our hall, our pictures were still up.
His apron was in the kitchen.
His robe was hung behind our bedroom door.
The engagement ring I threw at him was on my nightstand, like it was waiting for me to wear it again.
Everything, was still here.
I told him I didn't want his things here anymore, that we were officially done. What was he thinking? This was a temporary patch that we were going to fix? That I would forgive him for betraying me in our home?
"Fuck no." I stomped into the kitchen and threw open the cabinet under the sink to grab a roll of trash bags. One by one I opened the bags and filled them with his belongings. Shoes, shirts, pants, socks, boxers, everything went in, I didn't spare a single item, "I warned you." I mumbled to myself while I threw all his bathroom essentials in another bag.
I even put our pictures in the trash as well, they no longer meant anything to me. This relationship was done, dead. I don't understand how anyone can forgive their significant other for stepping out on them. He's tainted to me. I would never be able to touch him again without thinking about how another did the same. I could never look at him the same. And once I realized that, that our relationship was an unfixable lost cause, I felt better. There's no use crying over damaged goods.
Once everything was in the bags, I tossed them into the hallway. There were about six heavy duty bags filled with his crap, I was breaking a sweat but I was hardly tired. The adrenaline that's been pumping through my veins has made it all more thrilling than exhausting. I'm just glad we had an elevator so taking them all down tot he first floor wasn't as challenging as I thought it would be.
I thought about just leaving them in the hallway for him, but the street felt more fitting.
So that's what I did, I put them all on the sidewalk, with help from the doorman who was more than happy to aid after I explained to him what I was doing and why, "Thank you," I said out of breath with a smile after the last bag was thrown onto the sidewalk.
He smiled with a nod and opened the door for me so we could get out of the cold, "Is this stuff free?" Someone shouted before the door behind me could close.
I turned and saw a homeless man approaching the bags with a shopping cart. I popped open the door and stuck my head out, "Take it all."
The only thing I didn't throw out was the ring, that I will mail to his parents house, but as for the rest of his shit — good fucking riddance.
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