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This morning when I stepped out of my apartment. I nearly tripped over trash on the floor.

At first, I assumed it was a package I had forgotten about. I do have a habit of doing that. But when I looked down, there he was, the scum of the earth. It seems Arthur slept out here in the hall all night instead of going with his mistress like I told him to. Maybe she doesn't want him as much as I don't.

I cried when he 'left'. Sobbed is more accurate. I blamed myself for not being enough, as anyone in this situation would. That's one of the worst things—in my opinion—about getting cheated on. It has you questioning your self-worth a lot more than you would if it was a simple break up. I wondered if I could have done something differently to prevent this, and if it had started before or after our miscarriage.

I'm assuming after. That's when his behavior changed and I always thought it was due to him grieving...but no, it was due to him placing himself into another woman's vagina. It's nice to see him coping with his loss. Selfish dick.

Another question I had is; did she know? Was she aware he is—was engaged to another woman? Am I allowed to be angry with her too? I came to the conclusion that yes, she did know. She didn't look mad when I walked in or surprised, only shocked and apologetic that she, the home-wrecker, got caught. Plus this apartment is littered with photos of him and I, there is no way she didn't notice at least one.

I stepped over Arthur who hadn't woken up, and closed the door before locking it. I'm guessing since he's on the floor and has none of his possessions with him, his apartment key is inside and therefore will need the manager or super to let him in. And I may or may not have already called and left voicemails to both of them about the situation. They'll have to let him in no matter what since his name is also on the lease, but they won't be very nice to him when they do.

I left down the hall, my heels silent on the gray carpet, and made my way to the staircase. Our apartment was only on the third floor, so I never saw a point in taking the elevator, especially since it takes its sweet time usually. This way I don't waste time standing there, and with my luck he would wake up as I was waiting and follow me to my car.

I didn't care to hear his apology or his bullshit excuses. There is a nice note I left for him on the counter that instructs him to get all of his shit out and to be gone by the time I'm home from work tonight. If he is not gone, then I will be taking the bag that I am currently carrying with me to a hotel. It is there that I will stay until I can get out of that lease and find a cheap place to live on my own. But I happen to love that apartment, it's affordable and in a nice area, so I'm hoping he leaves with no issues.

The drive to work was silent. I didn't play the radio. I didn't want to risk hearing any of those songs about how much a blessing love is. It has become clear to me that love is a myth, a facade created to sell movies, music, and books. If someone I've been with as long as that can bring another woman into a house we share, then there's no hope.

My parents' marriage was a failure.

As were my grandparents.

My aunts and uncles.

Cousins.

All fails.

I had hoped mine was going to be different, that I would be the one to shake the curse. But look at me now, not even married and it still became a complete failure. So yeah, love is just a myth. And shame on me for still trying to believe in it when the universe spent my whole life showing me that it almost never works out.

I pulled into my parking space and sat there with the car running, the heat blasting, and the radio silent. I glanced at the time on my radio and sighed, I was late, really late. Also, with my mind so occupied, I completely forgot to stop and grab the coffees... Anakin is going to make my morning hell on earth for this, I just know it.

I sighed again and turned the car off, but before I could open my door, it opened for me and I squealed in surprise, "Why the hell are you fifteen minutes la—wow you look like crap." Anakin changed his attitude quickly when he saw my condition. He eyed me up and down with knitted brows as he backed up into his own car to get a better look at me.

I had no sleep last night, all I did to my hair was throw it into a messy bun, put minimal makeup on so I didn't look dead but my under-eye bags were still noticeable, and I didn't take the time to iron my outfit, "Rough night, no sleep." I said in a groggy voice as I stepped out of my car, grabbing my purse from the passenger seat, "And I forgot to get the coffees, I'm sorry." I mumbled low, closing my car door and locking it. I felt like I had no energy, so whatever he was going to dish at me I planned to take it and carry on.

He followed behind me as I walked through the lot, "What's wrong with you?" He asked, not sounding concerned, only curious and maybe a little apprehensive.

"Personal issues," I answered bluntly, stepping into the elevator.

"Party too hard last night?" He scoffed.

"I don't party," I responded quietly with another sigh.

He was quiet as the doors closed and he pressed the floor when he saw that I hadn't, even that slipped my mind, "Drugs? Withdrawal?"

I side-eyed him, "I don't do drugs either."

"Ah, so you really are a goody two-shoes," He mocked, chuckling, "I suppose you're a virgin too?" He joked and I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath so I wouldn't stab him with the pen I had in my pocket.

"Can we not do this today," I exhaled, opening my eyes, "I want to be left alone."

"I don't think leaving you alone today is something that is possible—"

Just as the elevator doors opened on our floor, I turned my body and shifted my tear-filled eyes to Anakin, "I caught my fiancé screwing another woman on our couch last night, so a fucking break would be nice." I snapped, his eyes went wide.

He didn't say a word, he was tongue tied, and I took it as a victory before facing our office floor, preparing to exit. But I froze as dread and embarrassment weighed my chest, "Surprise," Talia said lowly as the entire office staff stared at me with shock and sympathy, a 'Happy Birthday' sign displayed behind them.

It's not.. it isn't..

Oh my god, I forgot my own birthday.

"Um," I didn't know what to say or do. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. But I couldn't do that, so I did the next best option — in a panic I pressed the button that closed the elevator doors.

I decided to do the non-adult thing and run and hide.

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"Why didn't you tell me they were all here?" I asked, leaning my head back against the front of an empty desk on the very top floor, a floor not in use. It was filed with multiple extra desks and chairs that we utilized if needed, basically it was a storage space.

I had no idea where to go after I closed those doors, so I just kept going up until I couldn't anymore. The thought of jumping out the window came to mind too, unfortunately they were all sealed tight.. I know, I checked.

Anakin of course had no choice but to follow after I trapped him in the elevator with me, "Why would I tell you about a surprise party. That would defeat the purpose."

I wanted to blame him. I really did. But I'm the one who lost it and blurted out my personal problems — this is on me, "You don't need to stay up here with me, you can go back down."

"What about you?" He folded his arms over his chest and leaned his back against the tall window where the gray clouds almost covered the entire sky, "I can't leave you up here. Not like this, you might try doing something stupid again." I may have broken down when we first got to this floor... I don't remember much during my episode except yelling 'Why won't these open?' as I tried prying open each window.

I breathed a laugh, "Then I would say that's a win on your part, you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore."

He sighed and slowly dropped himself down to the floor, "As much as you irritate me and as hard as this is to say, I don't know if I can succeed in this position without you. And the last thing I want to do is prove my mother right, so don't do anything dumb because I need you right now."

I laughed again, a little louder this time, "And here I thought you were about to give me a speech about how precious life is, that this break up isn't the end of the world, and that my soulmate is out there somewhere and I'll be fine."

He scrunched his face in disgust, "Ew I don't believe in soulmates and I don't need to tell you any of that because you already know it. And I know you'll be fine, strong women like you thrive during situations like this — take my Mother for example."

"Your gorgeous and rich, Mother was cheated on?" There really is no hope for many of us, is there?

He nodded, looking down to the floor with a glimmer of anger in his eyes, "It's one of the reasons my Dad and I aren't exactly on speaking terms. He really hurt her and some things just aren't forgivable."

"Sorry to hear that." I didn't know what else to say.

He shrugged it off, "It's fine," He glanced back up to meet my gaze, "I do have some news for you though that might cheer you up, at least a little."

"I doubt that, but let's hear it."

He smiled, "I had a voicemail on my machine this morning when I got to the office. It was the author of the book you want us to publish," My heart raced and I sat up straight, anticipating his next words. Work has always been the best distraction from my pain, "She does have another offer, but hasn't accepted it yet and is willing to meet with us. But only if we go to her, to Seattle."

"Are we?" I asked immediately.

He tilted his head, "You tell me. It's a far and slightly expensive trip that the company will have to pay for, do you think this book is worth it?"

I took a minute to answer, not because I was doubtful, but because my excitement had me tongue-tied, "Yes." I said with confidence.

He slowly smiled, "I'm glad you said that because the trip is already booked. We leave Monday next week and I already called her back to confirm where and when." That's in six days, which is perfect. We have plenty of time to perfect a pitch and find a number she will be satisfied with.

I smiled back, "You were right, it did cheer me up a little."

He breathed a chuckle through his nose as he stood up, "Thought so. Now come on, you have a birthday party to attend."

I reluctantly accepted the hand he had offered me and he pulled me to my feet, our chests almost touching, "I don't know how I'm going to face them now that they all know how pathetic my life is."

"Aw it's okay," He comforted me as he brushed my hair with his fingers, "They already knew that before today and are still friends with—"

"Fuck off," I slapped his hand away and stormed past him. Just when I thought he was being genuine for once.

He laughed as he followed me to the elevator, "So how old are you anyway? Forty?" He teased, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of a response this time, "I hope so since that's the number I bought, but I was really eyeing the five instead of the four—"

"I'm going to kill you."

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