6. The Grade School Host Is The Naughty Type

Shiro : *turns the handle on a door*

Teacher : "Oh there you are Shiro. The rest of the club is assembled and ready to go. You should get to the music room."

Shiro : "I'm sorry Sir, but I'm quitting the classical music club." *says without looking at the teacher* 

Teacher : "Huh? What made you decide to quit all of a sudden? I think you have a natural talent for the piano. It'd be a shame to waste it." *puts his hands on Shiro's shoulders* "So forget about quitting and come back to the club. If you play piano, you're sure to be popular with all the ladies."

Shiro : "But that's gonna take too long."

Teacher : "Hm?"

Shiro : "I don't have that much time!" *glares at the teacher* (different scene now) *walking down the hall* The top floor of the south building, at the end of the north hallway.. In a music room that's never used. This is it, this is the place! *nods before opening the door*

Hosts : *rose petals fly* 

Shiro : *falls back on the floor, exclaiming*

Hosts : "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club!" *dressed up in Arabian outfits*

Hikaru : "Oh it's just a kid."

Kaoru : "Not only that, it's just a boy."

Tamaki : "What's wrong little boy? Did you come to my palace in search of something?" *deep into the role of an Arabian King*

Shiro : *stands up* "Eh.. are you the king of this place?"

Tamaki : *goes wide eyed for a moment* "Ah~"

Shiro : "Well are you?"

Tamaki : "Come closer lost one,"

Shiro : *walks up to him*

Tamaki : "What was it you just called me little boy?"

Shiro : "The king."

Tamaki : *sighs dramatically* "Ah~ The king! Yes I am the king of the Ouran Host Club!" *twirls, stars in his eyes* "Long live the host king!" *happy since he's not used to being called that*

Shiro : "I'm an elementary fifth year, Shiro Takaoji!"

Tamaki : *gasps quietly, looking over to him*

Shiro : *points to Tamaki* "I want the host club king to take me on as an apprentice!"

Tamaki : *sighs slightly, blushing*

The Host Club Is Now Open For Business

Tamaki's Guest : "Oh my Tamaki, you have an apprentice?"

Tamaki : "Yes, he's still in elementary school, but I like the fire in his eyes."

Tamaki's Guest : "But are you sure it's okay for such a young boy to become a host?"

Tamaki : "Why wouldn't it be? Love has nothing to do with age. Take us for instance, whenever I look at you, my heart starts pounding." *moves closer to the guest's face*" Suddenly, I feel no different than a love-sick little boy."

Tamaki's Guest : "Oh Tamaki.."

Shiro : *watching really closely, sitting at the same table as the two*

Haruhi : "Don't you think it's weird he's making the kid observe him up close like that?"

Kyoya : "There is a theory that people are considered more beautiful the closer they're viewed. Tamaki seems to live by that theory." *writes in his notebook* "Well, let's leave them alone."

Haruhi : "Hm."

Tamaki : *takes the girl's hand* "You naughty girl, you've drawn me to the forbidden fruit. Dearest, you're the mermaid who's brought light into my lonely sea. My mermaid princess."

Tamaki's Guest : "I remind you.. of a mermaid?"

Shiro : "You look more like that carp that swim in my pond at home. I'd never give false compliments like that."

Tamaki's Guest : "Carp!?" *cries*

Tamaki : "Oh don't listen to him, he's just a kid. You know how kids are, they can't help but be honest."

Tamaki's Guest : "Honest?!" *cries more because Tamaki's an idiot*

Tamaki : "But that's just his opinion! I wouldn't say you looked like a carp, and even if you did look like a carp you'd be the most beautiful carp of them all."

Tamaki's Guest : "So I am a carp!"

Tamaki : "Uh, no. That's not what I meant.."

Tamaki's Guest : *runs out of the room, crying* "Tamaki you're an idiot!"

Tamaki : "No wait! Mermaid princess!"

Shiro : *in the background* "Man what a crybaby." *sits down*

Tamaki : *growls looking at him*

Hikaru : "So how's it goin' boss? That's an adorable little apprentice you got there." *laughs with Kaoru*

Kaoru : "Hikaru.. Do you wish you had a little brother like Shiro?"

Hikaru : *embraces his twin* "Don't be silly. I could search the globe and I'd never find a better brother than you, Kaoru." 

Kaoru : "Hikaru..."

Twin's Guest 1 : "Look they're doing it!" *hearts surround them, squealing*

Twin's Guest 2 : "It's forbidden brotherly love!"

Shiro : *backs up* "They're homos! And they're brothers! That makes this totally insectuous!"

Tamaki : "I think what you meant to say was incestuous."

Huni : *jumps on Shiro's back* "Hey Shiro-Chan! You wanna have a piece of cake with me? We've got three kinds, chocolate, strawberry, and lime!" 

Shiro : *pushes Huni off* "Hey back off! What grade are you in anyway? Why're you wearing a high school uniform?!"

Mori : *walks up* "Something wrong Mitsukuni?"

Shiro : "That's not fair a little kid like you isn't supposed to have a cool older friend like him!"

Huni : *crying and clinging to Mori's arm, them both being in the same 3rd year class*

Shiro : *backs up and bumps into Haruhi*

Haruhi : *steadies her tea tray* "Are you alright? I know, it's kinda hard getting use to all the weirdos around here. It took me awhile to get adjusted to all craziness, so don't freak out. I'm sure you'll get use to it."

Shiro : This one kinda acts like a girl.

Haruhi : "Something wrong?"

Shiro : "Are you a crossdresser?"

Tamaki and the Twins (Idiotic Trio) : "Oh no!"

Tamaki : *goes over and covers Shiro's eyes* "Okay! That's enough, I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us! Don't you?"

Hikaru : *pats Haruhi's head* "Wow Haruhi you're looking extra manly today."

Kaoru : *also patting Haruhi's head* "Now do what the boss says and let Shiro take care of that tea set, it's part of his training. You're too macho for tea sets."

Idiotic Trio : *laughs nervously*

Haruhi : *sighs*

Shiro : *groans and pulls Tamaki's hand away*

Tamaki : This kid is smarter than I thought.

Twins : He may be a kid but  he's got quite an eye! *stares at Shiro*

Haruhi : *hands Shiro the tea set* "Now be careful with it, it's pretty heavy."

Shiro : *drops it almost instantly* "It's not my fault I dropped it. It's your fault because you're the one who made me take it in the first place."

Haruhi : *blank faced* "Say what."

Kyoya : "Haruhi, that's another one hundred thousand yen."

Haruhi : *freaks* "Huh?!"

Shiro : "Hey you should make the crossdresser do all your stupid chores! I'm not here to carry tea sets! I'm here to learn how to make women happy!"

Tamaki : "You won't get anywhere with that attitude. And I am not going to let you disrespect Haruhi. So, put this brat in isolation!" *points at Shiro*

Twins : "You got it boss!" *makes an iron cage drop down over Shiro*

Shiro : "What's going on here! Why'd you put me in a cage all of a sudden?!"

Haruhi : *sweatdrop* "Yea and where did it come from? This is supposed to be a music room right?"

Shiro : *hangs on the bars* "This is no way to treat your loyal apprentice! Now let me outta this cage!"

Tamaki : *sipping tea* "Not until you've learned your lesson. I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a host, but I guess I was wrong."

Shiro : "I am serious! Totally serious!"

Tamaki : *sips his tea, ignoring him*

Shiro : "I want you to teach me how to make a woman happy!" *slumps to his knees* "I'm gonna run out of time... Please won't you teach me? You're a host because you like girls. You like bringing a smile to a girl's face. That's why you do it right? Please won't you teach me to be like you? You're a genius at it! You're the king!"

Tamaki : *eyes widen at being called a genius and the king* "Well you may be a brat but I admire your desire to become a host, so I'll teach you. You know Shiro, you and I are so much alike~" *hugs himself*

Haruhi : "You poor kid."

Shiro : "Then you'll help me become the kind of host that can make any woman happy?"

Tamaki : "Of course, making women happy is the sole purpose of being a host. If this is what you really want Shiro, then you'll have to figure out how to use the material you already have."

Shiro : "What does that mean?"

Kyoya : "You see, here at the Ouran Host Club our policy is to use our individual personality traits to meet the needs of our guests. For example there's Tamaki, who is the Princely Type. There's the Strong SIlent Type. The Boy-Lolita Type. The Little-Devil Type. And the Cool Type. It's all about variety. And now our group is complete with the addition of Haruhi, the Natural."

Haruhi : "The Natural?" *points at herself*

Kyoya : "It would seem that right now we have a perfect blend of characteristics. So it's going to be difficult to find a new type for Shiro."

Hikaru : "If you go by his age, he should be the boy-lolita type."

Kaoru : "But Huni-Senpai's already got that covered."

Huni : *anime crying, hugging Usa-Chan* "Is he gonna replace me?"

Renge : "Oh come on, is that all you've got?" *rotates up from the floor*

Haruhi : "What's up with this place? It's supposed to be a music room!"

Renge : *sighs* "Sorry to interrupt gentlemen but what's with the lackluster character analysis? I must say I'm quite disappointed, I thought I taught you better."

Tamaki : "Alright then Miss Manager, how would you work Shiro into our collection of characters? He can't be the boy-lolita because Huni's already got that covered." *holds up a crying Huni*

Renge : "You just don't get it do you? Now listen up! There are plenty of girls out there who have a thing for younger boys or boys with baby faces. These girls would be considered Shota fans. Now shota can be a fairly broad category. So it's important to know that the genre can be broken down into many different smaller sub-categories. For example, shota fans with an interest in lolita boys would favor a boy like Haninozuka-Senpai, but this little boy is different. If I had to pick a character for him.." *points to Shiro* "Yes! He's be the Naughty Boy Type without a doubt!"

Shiro : "The Naughty Type?" *the cage lifts off of him*

Renge : *blows a whistle* "Now to play up the Naughty Type you have to wear shorts." *crouches next to him, pointing at hsi shorts* "Okay." *blows whistle* "You've gotta have bumps and bruises! Give him a couple of scars!" 

Twins : *putting bandaids on Shiro and markering scratches on him*

Renge : *blows whistle* "Run like a spoiled child! Make it reckless!"

Shiro : *runs across the room*

Renge : *blows the whistle again* "Now I want you to trip and make it big!" *goes over to him* "Are you okay little boy?" *blows whistle* "Now give'm your catchphrase!"

Shiro : *wipes his face with the back of his hand* "No big deal, it was nothin'."

Renge : *squeals* "That was perfect! Absolutely perfect Shiro!"

Tamaki : *claps* "That was outstanding, I never knew you were such a great coach Renge."

Renge : *laughs high pitched*

Shiro : *staggers to his feet* They're idiots. They're all a bunch of idiots! "Agh I've had enough of you people! This is so stupid, none of this is ever gonna make her happy."

Haruhi : *murmurs* "Who's her?"

Shiro : *runs out of the room*

Tamaki : "Wait Shiro! We haven't taught you how to apply the techniques you've learned yet!" *the door slams*

Renge : *descends back into the floor* "I swear, younger boys are good for nothing. I went to all that trouble to coach him, and he quits."

Tamaki : "I can't believe he ditched us just because he didn't like the lesson. What a selfish little brat."

Haruhi : "There aren't many people who would enjoy that kind of lesson, but nevermind that, were you listening to what he said?"

Tamaki : "Hm?"

Flashback Shiro : "I'm gonna run out of time. Please won't you teach me?"

Haruhi : "He said he was gonna run out of time. What do you think he means by that? I think that... maybe it's a girl."

Tamaki : "Eh.." *sighs* "Hm.."

A Little Later

Haruhi : "How did we let them talk us into this?"

Huni : *whispers* "It'll be okay Haru-Chan~ It was so easy to sneak in, and wearing this uniform I really look like I'm in elementary school!" *peeking into a elementary school classroom with Haruhi who's wearing a middle school uniform*

Haruhi : "Yea you do.. I can understand why they wanted you to wear an elementary school uniform. I mean we are sneaking into an elementary school and you totally fit in senpai. What I don't understand is why they made me dress up in this middle school uniform."

Flashback Tamaki : *standing outside the room, his eyes glowing along with the other hosts* "Alright men, it's time to initiate our mission."

Flashback Haruhi : "What do you mean?"

Flashback Huni : "What mission?" *clueless*

Flashback Tamaki : "I've assessed the situation. We'll infiltrate the elementary school." *chuckles slightly* "You two are going in." *creepy smile*

Flashback Huni and Haruhi : "But where are we going?" *asks nervously*

Haruhi : "Why did we even bother with disguises? We stick out like a sore thumb."

Tamaki : *peeking through a door, looking at Huni and Haruhi* "Oh there's a reason, a damn good reason."

Huni : "This way Haru-Chan!" *grabs her arm, pulling her off*

Twins : "Isn't she the cutest?"

Tamaki : *sighs* "Oh look at her in that mini skirt!" *blushing* "Haruhi looks like a wittle doll!"

Kyoya : *in the background* "So basically you just wanted to see her dressed up like that."

Tamaki : *sweatdrop*

Huni : *opens a door a crack* "This is it, Shiro-Chan's classroom! When I was in elementary school this was my classroom too!" *runs in*

Haruhi : *walks after him* "Hm.. there's nobody here." *puts her hand on a desk*

Tamaki : *walks in with the others* "So the kid's classroom is empty, is it?"

Twins : "This sure takes me back."

Hikaru : "I wonder if doodles are still on my desk."

Kyoya : "Doubtful, the school changes out the desks every year."

Haruhi : *insanely irked*

Hikaru : "Let's check out the cafeteria after this."

Kaoru : "I wanna see the old gym."

Tamaki : "Good idea Kaoru!"

Haruhi : *half whispers* "Hey, if you're just gonna barge in here like that then why'd we wear these stupid disguises?"

Hikaru : "Don't worry about it."

Kaoru : "There's no one here to catch us."

Teacher : *walks down the hall*

Haruhi : *gasps quietly*

Hosts : *crouches down between the desks*

Hikaru : "If the teacher finds us-"

Kaoru : "We'll have a hard time explaining why we snuck in."

Haruhi : *puts a finger to her lips* *whispers* "Shh! Shut up guys! Just keep your lips zipped!" *imitates zipping her lips*

Idiotic Trio : *blushing and also zipping their lips* Haruhi is the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Haruhi : *checks out the door* "It's alright, he's gone, but you guys we came here to get the scoop on Shiro. So what do you think we should do now?"

Kyoya : "Well here's something interesting."

Hosts : *all look over* "Hm?"

Haruhi : *goes over to Kyoya* "What'd you find?"

Kyoya : *points to a picture on the wall with Shiro and a girl playing piano together* 

Haruhi : "Hey, that's Shiro!"

Kyoya : "So he's in the classical music club."

Haruhi : "He looks like he's enjoying himself. It's nice to see him with a smile on his face. I had no idea he could look so sweet."

Tamaki : "Yeah..."

Elementary School Music Room

Huni : *looking in the window* "There he is! There's Shiro-Chan!"

Shiro : *sitting in a window sill, looking out the window*

Hina : "E-excuse me.. Takaoji? I-i'm sorry, but have you been practicing the new piece Teacher gave us?" *hugging sheet music, smiling to Shiro*

Shiro : *looks at her* "The new piece? Not really.."

Hina : "If you want I can show it to you. Do you wanna come play it with me?"

Shiro : "No thanks, you go ahead. After all there's only one grand piano. You should use it Kamishiro."

Hina : "Thank you, I will then!" *closed eyed smile* "And if you want to join me, just let me know." *giggles slightly, going to the grand piano* *opens the piano and sits down beginning to play her part for Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major by Mozart*

Shiro : *closes his eyes, smiling and listening*

Hosts : *watching from the window*

Little Girl : *walks out of the room*

Tamaki : "Pardon me mademoiselle."

Little Girl : "Huh?" *turns to Tamaki* 

Tamaki : *holds out a white rose to her* "I've never seen a rose more lovely than you my dear.. Here this is for you."

Little Girl : *gasps quietly*

Tamaki : "I was wondering if you could tell me anything about that young lady playing the piano. Do you know her?"

Little Girl : "That's Hina Kamishiro."

Tamaki : "Her name is Hina?"

Little Girl : "That's right, but you better not fall in love with her."

Tamaki : "Why?"

Little Girl : "Didn't you know? Hina has to move away soon. Her dad just got a new job in Germany, so they have to move there at the end of the week."

Shiro : *comes out of the room* "What'd you think you're doing?! I want you idiots to leave immediately!"

Tamaki : "Hm." *picks Shiro up, putting him over his shoulder and walking away with the hosts following*

Shiro : *shouts* "Put me down! What're you doing!? Agh!" *struggles*

Hina : *comes out of the room, looking around the door*

Shiro : *sees Hina and blushes slightly* "Let me go! Just put me down! Where do you think you're taking me you big jerk! Ahh!"

Tamaki : *talks over him* "It's time to go gentlemen. Quit thrashing around."

Shiro : "Put me down!!!"

Tamaki : *back in the club room* *throws Shiro onto a couch*

Shiro : "What is your problem you big idiot!?"

Tamaki : *shouts* "I'm sorry but you're the idiot! You said that you wanted me to teach you how to make women happy, but that's not it is it?! You're not concerned with the happiness of just any woman.. You've got your sights set on one woman in particular. You only care about one, and that's Hina Kamishiro."

Shiro : *gasps quietly*

Tamaki : "But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to help you with that. Listen Shiro, I know that I told you it's the job of a host to make women happy, but when you care for someone, you must find the courage to express what is in your heart! You have to tell her how you feel about her! You didn't come to me looking to become a full-fledged host. You want to be a full-fledged man."

Shiro : *looks down* "It doesn't matter anymore.. I've run out of time. I just- I wanted to hear her play before she left for good.. that's all."

Tamaki : "That piece she played, it's Mozart Sonata in D Major for two pianos isn't it?" *Walks over to a sheet, pulling it aside to reveal a grand piano* *opens it to show the keys*

Haruhi : "Wait a minute.. since when is there a grand piano in here?"

Hikaru : "Well this is a music room after all."

Kaoru : "So why wouldn't it have a grand piano?"

Kyoya : "It is a music room after all."

Mori : "It is a music room."

Huni : *eating cake* "It's always been there, we just had it covered up."

Tamaki : *begins to play~*

Shiro : *stands up* *Mutters* "Awesome.."

Flashback Hina : "Hey Takaoji, I noticed that you're always listening to me when I'm playing. Do you like the piano? If so, then why don't we learn to play together?"

Shiro : She played beautifully but it wasn't the piano that I liked.

Tamaki : "For the next week you will spend your mornings, lunches, recesses, and free time after school in piano lessons with me."

Shiro : "But why?"

Tamaki : "You wanted to be my apprentice right? Besides, that young lady looked like she wanted nothing more than to play the piano with you."

Shiro : *standing by the piano, watching Tamaki play*

Music Room #3

Hina : *looking up at the sign* *looks down at the letter 'You are invited September 3rd at 3pm to a private recital.'* *opens the door* *rose petals and bright light*

Hosts : *lined up and in white dress coats* "Welcome Princess, we've been waiting."

Tamaki : *bows to her* "I present to you, Shiro Takaoji's.. Piano recital." *motions to the two grand pianos, Shiro sitting at one of them*

Hina : *blushes*

Tamaki : *pulls out a chair for the empty grand piano* "If you please, Princess."

Shiro : *smiles to her* "Let's play together Hina."

Hina : "Okay!" *both of them play the Mozart piece together X3*

Hosts : *watch silently*

Tamaki : "We did a good thing.."

Haruhi : "He loves with all his heart. So I guess that's one more way Shiro takes after you, huh Senpai." *looks up at him*

Tamaki : "Why yes, I'd say so."

Haruhi : *chuckles slightly, smiling*

10 Days Later

Haruhi : "So, you've been exchanging emails with Hina every day now that she's in Germany?"

Shiro : "Yea, more or less." *surrounded by girls* "I like her, but she can get pretty jealous for an elementary schoolgirl. She'd be upset if she knew I was with you ladies,  so let's keep this our little secret."

Girls : *giggles and squeals* "Oh isn't he the cutest?" "His little girlfriend is so lucky!" "I wish I had a little brother just like him!"

Girl 1 : "Naughty boys are the best." *kisses Shiro's cheek*

Girl 2 : "I could kiss you~" *kisses his other cheek*

Tamaki : *growling* "You brat! What are you doing? Those are my guests!"

Shiro : *looks over at him* "Heh, well it looks like they found someone they like better. It's so easy to steal your customers. I think there's new host king in town." *smirks*

Tamaki : *screams*

Hikaru : *holding him back* "I thought he'd make it through without exploding this time!"

Kaoru : *also holding his boss back* "We should've known he was going to blow up sooner or later!"

Haruhi : "Shiro really does have a lot in common with Tamaki-Senpai. I get the feeling that Senpai was also a spoiled brat when he was a kid."

Tamaki : "I was not a spoiled brat! I was nothing like him when I was a kid! I was the sweet innocent precious adorable child! You hear me?!"

Shiro : *snickers and holds up the peace sign*

INTRO

Hikaru : "Alright we're headed to the pool!"

Kaoru : "We'll finally get to see Haruhi in a swimsuit!"

Haruhi : "Oh no! Huni-Senpai's being pulled away by the current! Next time 'Jungle Pool SOS!'"

Tamaki : "The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you."

Hosts : "We'll see you then!"

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