Kaoru : "Do you remember the first time we played that game? It was so long ago.."

Twins Flashback

*bells chime, children are playing in the snow at school, the twins are sitting alone on a bench together holding hands*

Little Girl : "Hey you wanna make a snowman with me?"

Little Hikaru : "Which one of us are you talking to?"

Little Girl : "To both of you silly!"

Little Kaoru : "There's no body here named 'both of you.'"

Little Girl : "Okay then, I'm talking to Hikaru and Kaoru."

Little Twins : "Oh really? Which of us is Kaoru? And which of us is Hikaru? Can you tell?"

End Flashback

Twins : "Let's all play the 'Which One Is Hikaru?' game!" *wearing matching green hats*

Twin's Guests : *giggles, blushing* *claps*

Music Room #3 The Host Club Is Now Open For Business

Twins : "So? Can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?"

Twin's Guest 1 : "Well, its hard to say!"

Twins Guest 2 : "You're identical!"

Twins : "Many ladies have tried to tell us apart, but so far none have succeeded."

Haruhi : *walking by* "That's the dumbest game I've ever heard of."

Twins : *puts their hands on their hips, staring after her* "What, have you got a problem with it Haruhi?"

Haruhi : *turns to look back at them* "Not really, I just don't understand why the two of you are so popular."

Twins : *boo* "That's not very nice." *slide up next to her without their hats*

Hikaru : "I'm disappointed."

Kaoru : "Apparently, you don't understand the merits of having a pair of twins as members of the Host Club."

Hikaru : "Listen up! Having a couple of good looking guys with homosexual tendencies earns the club high points. It also helps if the two struggle between their attraction and their friendship."

Kaoru : "And in our case, because we're twins our relationship is taboo, and therefore more intriguing."

Hikaru : *tilts a guest's chin up slightly, talking in her ear* "And besides, who hasn't fantasized about twins? Having two loves is better than one don't you think?"

Kaoru : *replaces Hikaru's hand with his own, talking in the guest's other ear* "It's a young woman's romantic fantasy."

Guest : "Well I- um.. Yea, you're right! I can't take it!" *squeals along with some other guests* 

Twins : *look at Haruhi with triumph* "Hmph!"

Tamaki : *runs over to them, holding a laptop* "Hikaru! Kaoru!"

Twins : "Hm?"

Tamaki : *extremely irked* "When I gave you control of the club's website, I did so on one condition!  That you take it seriously!"

Hikaru : "We take our job very seriously boss." 

Kaoru : *waves his hands* "In fact, last night we worked on it till dawn."

Tamaki : *opens the laptop* "Is this what you worked so hard to create?!" *smacks the keyboard, a picture of Haruhi without a shirt showing on the screen*

Haruhi : *white faced*

Huni : "You look great Haru-Chan!"

Guests : *crowding around Tamaki to see the picture* *sighing happily*

Guest 1 : "I wanna see!"

Tamaki : *hands the girls the laptop and then rushes back over to the twins* "Tell me when!" 

Twins : "Huh?"

Tamaki : "When did you take naked pictures of Haruhi!?!?" 

Tamaki's Weird Theatre

Haruhi : *sitting naked with a blanket wrapped around her* *looks innocently at the twins*

Twins : *pervertedly taking picture*

Hikaru : "Yes, that pose is perfect!"

Kaoru : "And your expression is beautiful.. Once we're done with this shoot we'll let you have all the fancy tuna you want!"

Hikaru : "Fancy tuna~ As much as you want!"

End of Tamaki's Weird Theatre

Tamaki : *anime crying, pale white* "You bribed her didn't you?!"

Twins : "You're imagining things."

Hikaru : "It's obvious that the photo's been altered." 

Tamaki : "It was photoshopped?"

Hikaru : "We did a pretty good job huh?" *slides up to Tamaki with Kaoru, shrugging identically*

Kaoru : "We've got some major photoshopping talent." 

Tamaki : "You idiots! That's a waste of your skills! Have you no shame?!" *complete change of attitude, now kneeling in front of the twins* "But if you're going to do it anyway, can you photoshop her into this idol photo book?"

Haruhi : *in the background still white faced*

Hikaru : "Don't be ridiculous boss, why don't you just-"

Kaoru : "Ask her if she'd wear an outfit like one of those."

Tamaki : *looks over at Haruhi* "I never thought to ask her..." *tiptoes off screen* *comes up behind Haruhi* "What do you think about this my dear?" *holding up a dress*

Huni : "What are you doing with that dress?" 

Guest 1 : *off to the side, looking at the laptop* "He looks so handsome!"

Guest 2 : "Yea he does, but I'd have to agree with Tamaki, I'd love to see what Haruhi looked like if he dressed as a girl!"

Guest 3 : "Oh he's so cute! I'm sure he'd look great no matter what you put him in." 

Haruhi : *sighs* *turns to look at Tamaki, half glaring*

Tamaki : *anime cries, drifting away*

Haruhi : *looks at the twins* "Now cut it out. No more making weird pictures of me you got that? Just what do you guys take me for anyway?"

Twins : *their arms are wrapped around each other's shoulders* "Hm. Isn't that obvious? You're our toy." *smirks at her*

Hikaru : "As we were saying, in order to entertain one's self in this otherwise boring life,"

Kaoru : "One must find himself stimulating toys."

Haruhi : *sweatdrop* "I am not your toy, okay?!"

Twins : *chuckling about it*

Nekozawa : "You want a toy?" 

Twins and Haruhi : *looks over* "Huh?"

Nekozawa : "Toys, toys, if you like toys then you should come and visit my black magic club." *peeking out of a door holding a candelabra* 

Twins: *groan* 

Nekozawa : "We've opened a marketplace that boasts black magic items from across the globe. We're also holding mass around the clock."

Tamaki : *hears Neko's voice and looks over, frightened*

Nekozawa : "If you visit right now, I'll even throw in a free curse doll. You can have Beelzenef as your free gift."

Haruhi : "Why is he talking to us through a crack in the door."

Twins : "Wait a second, has that door always been there?"

Kyoya : *walks by, writing in a folder* "Nekozawa-Senpai likes to hide, he doesn't really care for brightly lit places."

Tamaki : *stalks up behind Haruhi* "Don't get involved with that guy Haruhi.."

Haruhi : *jumps* "Agh!"

Tamaki : "If you do, you'll end up being cursed!"

Haruhi : "Do you have any basis for that?"

Tamaki : *dramatic* "Yes! It happened during final exams at the end of the last school year! It's terrifying just to talk about it."

Flashback Tamaki : *walking down the hall*

Flashback Girl : "Good morning Tamaki!"

Flashback Tamaki : "Good morning!" *steps on Beelzenef*

Tamaki : "On that fateful day, I accidentally stepped on that weirdo Nekozawa's cursed doll, Beelzenef. Afterward, I took my exam and the entire test was written in some strange lettering! I looked to the others around me for help and realized I knew none of them! I was all alone in a different dimension!"

Huni : *crying* "Scary!"

Haruhi "Did that really happen to you!?"

Kyoya : *still writing in his folder* "That only happened because you were so scared you accidentally walked into the beginning Greek class and took their exam."

Tamaki : "No it was a curse! I know because three days later I woke up and my legs were as heavy as lead! Just how do you explain that?!"

Kyoya : "Your legs were heavy because you ran a marathon the day before, remember?"

Nekozawa : *appears out of nowhere* "You shouldn't underestimate the dark powers of Beelzenef the curse doll! All you have to do is write the name of someone you hate on his back. Then that person is certain to come face to face with misfortune!"

Hikaru : "Wow this guy really is dark in more ways than one."

Kaoru : "Supposedly he hates bright lights." *looks at his twin* "I wonder what he'll think of this?" *holds up a flash light, flicking it on and off* *shines it on Nekozawa*

Nekozawa : *screams, along with Tamaki* "You murders!" *runs back to his room, slamming the door*

Twins : *look at each other and shrug in sync* "Hm."

Tamaki : *terrified* "How on earth could you do such a thing?! Obviously the two of you don't know the true terror of black magic!" *scolds the twins as they walk off, ignoring Tamaki*

Hikaru : *sitting in a chair along with Kaoru, looking out the window* "Ugh I am so bored."

Kaoru : "Isn't there anything fun we can do around here?"

Tamaki : *sees he got ignored* *Emo corner* "My dignity as the club's leader, is being ignored."

Haruhi : *sweatdrop* *groans* 

Twins : "Hey Haruhi! We've got a favor to ask you!" *raises their hands*

Haruhi : "What is it." *looks at the twins*

Hikaru : "The next time we get a day off,"

Kaoru : "Can we come over to your place to hang out?"

Tamaki : *still in his emo corner* *puts a hand to his ear to listen in*

Haruhi : "Why would you wanna do that?"

Twins : *comes up to her* "We're curious~! We want to see where you live."

Haruhi : "No way." *blank faced*

Twins : "Aw, pretty please?"

Haruhi : "No way, you guys are just gonna make fun of me."

Twins : "No matter how much we beg you?"

Haruhi : "No way."

Tamaki : "I too have been thinking that it's about time I pay my respects to our beloved Haruhi's family!"

Haruhi : "No way in hell senpai." *even more blank faced*

Tamaki : *QUE EMO CORNER*

Twins : "We can settle this with a game!" *puts on their green hats* " If you can't pick out which one of us is Hikaru then your penalty will be the two of us coming over to your house later tonight." *spin* "Okay! So which one of us is Hikaru?"

Haruhi : *points* "This one's Kaoru, this one's Hikaru."

Twins : "Uh oh! You got it wrong!" *grin*

Haruhi : *smiles* "No, I know I'm right. You guys may look alike but you're very different."

Twins : *gasp quietly, thinking back to the first time they played their game* *look at each other*

Guest 1 : "How did you do that Haruhi? Whenever they wear those hats to cover up which way they part their hair, it's practically impossible to try and figure out which twin is Hikaru and which one is Kaoru!"

Guest 2 : "How can you tell them apart?"

Haruhi : "Mm.. well how do I put it... It's kind of difficult to explain... but Hikaru's speech and actions make him come across a little more mischievous than Kaoru."

Kaoru : *laughs* "Sorry Hikaru I don't mean to laugh." *laughs more*

Hikaru : *glares slightly* "Well, I don't see what's so funny. I'm honest I speak my mind and I don't hold back. It's sneaky people like Kaoru who are the troublemakers."

Kaoru : *stops laughing* "Don't turn this on me Hikaru, after all I'm the one who's always going along with all of your selfish games."

Hikaru : "I may suggest them, but you're the one who really gets into them Kaoru. If you hate it so much then why don't you just stop?"

Kaoru : "Because I'd hate to see you make an ass of yourself in front of everyone. It was your idea to call Haruhi our toy, but I noticed you were quick to make a pass at her. Admit it Hikaru, you're actually in love with Haruhi.. aren't you."

Hikaru : *gasps and blushes, looking over at her*

Tamaki : "What?!"

Hikaru : "You've got it all wrong Kaoru! Man, you're such a freaking idiot!"

Tamaki : "Yea! There's some things in this world that must never be said!"

Hikaru : "Why would I fall for her?! I mean she looks like a tanuki!"

Tamaki : "How dare you call her a raccoon dog! You're gonna pay for that!" *shouts in their faces*

Renge : "Awesome, this is just perfect!" *rises out of the ground on a motor* "Our beloved Haruhi is in the middle of a beautiful yet poignant four sided romantic relationship! And to make it even more exciting two of Haruhi's admirers are twins, torn apart by love! Just the thought of it could make me eat three bowls of rice!"

Twins : "Oh butt out otaku."

Renge : "You guys are meanies you shouldn't say something like that to your manager!" *anime crying* 

Tamaki : "But Renge, I thought you had feelings for Haruhi as well?"

Renge : "Oh I do, but I have no problem with Haruhi having a homosexual relationship on the side."

Tamaki : *sweatdrop*

Haruhi : "I'm confused, I thought that you had decided to go back home to France, Renge."

Renge : "Well I was going to start up a host club of my own but, I don't think France is ready for a host club just yet."

Haruhi : *sweatdrop*

Hikaru : "Cut it out already! You're the one who's always crawling into my bed! Talk about annoying!"

Kaoru : "I only do that cause you look lonely! I wouldn't choose to sleep in your bed you idiot!" 

Guests : *fangirling in the background*

Hikaru : "Who are you calling an idiot, you're the one who sucks at math!"

Kaoru : "Oh yea? Well you're failing your foreign language class you big dummy!"

Hikaru : "The way you grind your teeth is deafening!"

Kaoru : "At least I don't toss and turn so much that I fall out of bed!"

Hikaru : "Sex Pixie!"

Kaoru : "Sicko!"

Twins : *shouting at each other* "Your mama wears too much makeup! That's it we're over!" 

Next Day In Class (9:20AM)

Haruhi : *at her desk, taking a book out*

Hikaru : "Hey Haruhi." *his hair is flamingo pink* "Good morning~" *walks over to her*

Haruhi : "Hikaru, what in the world happened to your hair? Why is it dyed pink?"

Hikaru : "'Cause pink suits me, don't you think it's cute? From now on I'm the pink haired twin. I didn't wanna be mistaken for that Kaoru for the rest of my life, y'know?"

Kaoru : *walks in, standing next to Haruhi's desk, therefore standing next to his twin* *his hair is bright neon blue* "Good morning Haruhi."

Haruhi : "So, Kaoru's the blue twin?"

Hikaru : *goes to his desk*

Kaoru : "I was finally able to sleep all by myself last night, but I ended up having a nightmare. I dreamt that my stylist had dyed my hair pink. It was so garish and ridiculous looking I woke up screaming!" *chuckles, sitting down*

Hikaru : *kicks his chair out from under Kaoru*

Haruhi : *sweatdrop* *turns back to the front of class*

Kaoru : *reaches over and pushes Hikaru's chair over*

Twins : *slowly stand up, glaring at each other* *start throwing things at each other* *throws Usa-Chan*

Huni : (now in this class?? XDD) *screams and goes to catch him, making him get thrown as well*

Haruhi : *sighs as things are getting thrown over her*

Noontime Recess In The Refectory

Twins : "I'll have the A lunch. No, give me the B pasta and the D salad! I'll take the F capellini with the barbarie duck! Hold on, make that a  foie gras in perigueux sauce!" *completely irked, shouts at each other* "Ugh stop copying me, why don't you just leave me alone!" *growls*

Haruhi : *blank faced in the background* "Amazing, perfect unison even when fighting."

Tamaki : "I was wondering what all the fuss was about. I can't believe the two of you are still fighting, you're a disgrace to the host club."

Male Student : "Hey, look who it is."

Female Student 1 : "Oh, I love them.."

Female Student 2 : "I've never seen them all together like this.." 

Huni : "We've had enough of this! You're both to blame for this fight!" *holds out a cake* "Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan, I want you to make up and go halfsies on this cake! Kay~? But I want to have a piece too, so I guess we're going to have to go thirdsies. Aw we're not going to be able to split the strawberry on top though. What should we do? Maybe I should just take it, after all strawberries are my favorite... Oh I forgot to ask, Hika-Chan, Kao-Chan do you like strawberries?" *looks between the two*

Twins : *irked half way through*

Mori : *slides up and picks Huni up, carrying them away from the twins* "You're just making it worse, leave them alone."

Tamaki : *notices Haruhi and wags his imaginary doggy tail* "Oh Haruhi I didn't expect to run into you in the dining hall!"

Haruhi : "I was worried about those two, so I followed them here without even thinking. I always bring a boxed lunch and I was just going to eat it in the classroom."

Tamaki : "A boxed lunch..." 

Tamaki's Imaginary Haruhi : *holding out a bento lovingly* "Here darling, your boxed lunch. I hope you're not too embarrassed but I decided to make it in a heart shape for you. I love you!"

Tamaki : "I don't care if my boxed lunch is in an embarrassing heart shape! I will eat it!" *shouts in the dining hall*

Kyoya : *grabbing lunch* "I have no idea what you're talking about, but it's evident that your fantasies are completely incoherent." *walks off*

Hikaru : "Haruhi, you wanna sit here with me?"

Haruhi : "Uh okay.." 

Hikaru : "So what's that?" *points to her bento* "What'd you bring for lunch?"

Haruhi : "Yesterday's leftovers, and a rolled omelet."

Hikaru : "You wanna switch with me? I had to order something different than Kaoru so I ended up with stuff I don't really like." *takes her lunch, pushing his tray to her*

Haruhi : "That's fine with me." This is really magnificent. I-i've never tried anything like this before. *takes a bite of Hikaru's food* *blushes slightly, it tasting really good*

Tamaki : *anime crying* Delicious! That's delicious isn't it Haruhi? I'm so glad you like it, I want you to eat like that everyday.. *runs and gets his own lunch* "Well played Hikaru! As a reward I'd like to trade you my lunch for your boxed lunch!"

Hikaru : "No way."  

Tamaki : "C'mon trade with me!"

Hikaru : "Forget about it."

Kaoru : *sits on the other side of Haruhi * "So Haruhi, is that any good? How would you like to taste mine? Here." *tilts her chin up, the spoon to her mouth*

Hikaru : *reaches over and eats what's on Kaoru's spoon* "Quit butting in, get lost Kaoru."

Kaoru : *throws his soup at Hikaru*

Hikaru : *Pulls on Tamaki's tie to pull him down, resulting in him getting the face full of soup*

Twins : *start throwing things at each other again*

Huni : *gets thrown with Usa-Chan*

Mori : *notices and chases after Huni, catching him and then both of them getting thrown*

Hikaru : *throws Tamaki too* 

Haruhi : *stands up, grabbing her lunch* "I think I'm gonna go eat in my classroom after all." *walks off*

After School, in the Club

Tamaki : *sighs sadly*

Kyoya : *calculating things on a calculator* 

Huni : *kicking his feet under the table* 

Kyoya : "Looking at the numbers, if this situation isn't resolved, I'm afraid we're going to have to stop offering our brotherly love package. We're down one pair of loving brothers. Oh, Haruhi, I just want you to know there's no reason for you to feel responsible. Even though it was your tactless comment that started this whole feud between the twins in the first place, right?" *smiles that says 'don't worry about cleaning up the dining hall either'*

Haruhi : *sweatdrop* Clearly he blames me for this.

Huni : *playing with Usa-Chan* "It's weird for Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan to be fighting like this... it's never happened before."

Mori : *nods* "Mm."

Haruhi : "They've never fought before?"

Huni : "I've known Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan since we were in preschool. We weren't in the same years so I never really got to talk to them. But I remember that the two of them always played together."

Tamaki : "Yea that's true, I mean I've only known the twins since they were in middle school. But they definitely stood out. It seemed like they kept everyone at a distance except each other. Believe it or not they were even more warped back then. When you stop and think about it, maybe this fight is a good thing for them. Maybe it means that the twins are expanding their horizons a bit! We should just leave them alone and let them work it out."

Haruhi : *looks out the window* Who knows? Maybe it is a turn for the better, but if this really is their first fight.. they probably need someone to tell them when it's time to give in and call it quits. And if they've never fought before, would they even know how to make up?

Music Room #3 - No Business Today

Twins : *throwing things intensely at each other until there's a mountain of a pile of things between them, Huni at the top*

Tamaki :*annoyed* "Ugh don't you guys think, that maybe it's time you give up all this fighting? It's driving me insane.."

Hikaru : "What'd you say? It's driving you insane?! Ugh you've gotta be kidding me! How do you think I feel right now?! Every time I look in the mirror  I see his face! I'm sick and tired of constantly being mistakened for you Kaoru! The truth is, I hate your guts!"

Kaoru : "You took the words right outta my mouth. In fact I hate you so much I bought this." *pulls out a curse doll* "Beelzenef the curse doll!"

Tamaki : *screams, scared*

Kaoru : "I'm going to complete the curse Hikaru. I'm going to write your name on his back! From this day forward you're going to experience nothing but misfortune and sorrow!" *writing on the doll*

Tamaki : *freaking out, crying*

Haruhi : *runs over to them, punching them both in the head* "Will you guys knock it of?! What do you think you're doing?! You don't bring something like this into a petty fight! Both of you are at fault here, but what's really sad is that you've brought everyone else around you into your big mess! Now apologize to each other, if you don't make up right now I'm never gonna let you come over to my house! Have I made myself clear?!"

Twins : *eyes wide at listening to Haruhi shout* *slowly smirk* *hum* "So then what you're saying Haruhi is that if we make up we can come over to your place?" *wraps their arms around each other's shoulders, standing behind her*

Haruhi : *slowly turns the curse doll around to see 'blank' written on it* *screams*

Twins : *high five*

Hikaru : *caressing Kaoru* "I'm so sorry Kaoru, even though I was just following our script I said such awful things to you.. I'm not fit to be your brother."

Kaoru : "Don't say that Hikaru, I was so worried I couldn't live with myself if I had ever thought I had hurt you!"

Hikaru : "Kaoru I'll never let you go again!"

Kaoru : "Hikaru!"

Haruhi : *drops the doll*

Huni : *pouting, throwing his arms* "You've gotta be kidding! You mean you guys were faking it this whole time?!"

Twins : "We didn't have anything else to do, we were bored!" *laughs, hugging each other*

Haruhi : They totally fooled me..

Tamaki : Twins with too much time on their hands... are the devil.

Twins : *gives them the stink eye* 

Music Room #3 - Host Club Is Now Open For Business

Guests : *giggling and clapping*

Twin's Guest 1 : "I'm so glad they made up!"

Twins : "Okay! It's time to play the 'Which One Is Hikaru?' game!" 

Twin's Guest 2 : *raises her hand* "I know, the twin with the pink hair is Hikaru!"

Twins : "We have a winner!"

Twin's Guest 3 : "So are you two going to keep your wild hair color even though you've made up? It's much easier to tell the two of you apart now!"

Haruhi : *walking by* "Ha, no it isn't."

Twins : "Hm?" *look over at her*

Haruhi : *looks back at them, smiling* "Today the pink one is Kaoru and Hikaru's the blue one. You swapped colors for the day, huh?" *continues walking*

Twins : *holding each other's hand*

Kaoru : "Do you realize what's happened Hikaru? Until now, there were only two groups of people, us and everyone else. But for the first time, someone's crossed into our world."

INTRO

Tamaki : "Rejoice Haruhi! You're going to have an underclassman! Someone new wants to join the club."

Haruhi : "But he's in elementary school."

Tamaki : "I wonder what he'll be like all grown up!"

Haruhi : "Next time, 'The Grade School Host Is The Naughty Type'!" 

Tamaki : "The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you!"

Hosts : "We'll see you then!"