Tamaki : "Now you've done it!" *Freaking out*

Hikaru : "It's done alright." *looking at a tipped tea cup*

Kaoru : "But it wasn't our fault." *looking at Usa-Chan, who has tea spilled over him*

Tamaki : "What?! You idiots, you're the ones who bumped into it, right!?"

Hikaru : "Only because Haruhi was running away!"

Twins : *hugging haruhi*

Kaoru : "We were trying to catch her 'cause we wanted to have some fun and dress her up in cosplay."

Tamaki : "So what!? We cosplay all the time!"

Hikaru : *smiling* "We weren't going with the usual host club costumes!"

Kaoru : *smiling* "We want to see Haruhi in bunny cosplay, disguised as a girl."

Haruhi : *blank faced* "Disguised as a girl?" *she already is a girl*

Twins : "You'd like to see it too, wouldn't you?" *smirking devilishly*

Tamaki : *blushes, having an image of Haruhi in a pin up bunny cosplay* "I definitely want to see that.." *grabs his hair* "What am I thinking, there's no time for stuff like that right now!" *points to the twins accusingly* "I know what you're up to! You're trying to distract me from the mess you made! Get away from Haruhi, you punks!"

Twins : *smothering Haruhi* "No way~!"

Haruhi : "Let me go!" *whines* 

Tamaki : "I know you're-" *cut off by Kyoya*

Mori : *reading a book*

Kyoya : *typing on his laptop* "Excuse me, we don't have any guests at the moment, so I don't mind if you make a racket, but please," *looks over at Tamaki, who's shaking the twins and shouting at them* "Be careful. You don't want to wake Huni-Senpai."

Tamaki : *stops shaking the twins abruptly*

Huni : *sleeping on a couch with a huge bed canopy over it*

Haruhi : "He's a third year and he still takes afternoon naps? Well we're going to have to tell him about the bunny at some point. Let's just wake him up and apologize." *walks towards Huni*

Idiotic Trio : *hiding behind a sofa a safe distance away* *whisper shouts* "No wait! Don't get any closer to Huni-Senpai!"

Tamaki : *waves his hand* "Come back! It's safe over here!" 

Haruhi : *crouches next to them* "What're you talking about?"

Tamaki : "Huni-Senpai wakes up in a very bad mood after napping!"

Haruhi : "Huh?"

Tamaki : "Now this may just be a rumor, but the Haninozuka family once visited a U.S. military base to give combat training. Supposedly, Huni-Senpai slept through most of it because of his jet lag."

Rumor Huni : *sleeping at the military base*

Rumor Soldier : "Hey Master, are you doin' okay?" *shakes Huni's shoulder* "Hey Master, c'mon, it's time to get up, let's go."

Tamaki : "Then a soldier came in and carelessly tried to wake him up. Since he had been sleeping for so long.."

Rumor Huni : *sits up, a dark aura around him* "I'm still sleepy..."

Rumor Soldier : *Screams* "Oh dear god!" *huge bunny explosion*

Tamaki : "On that day, he wiped out two entire platoons of soldiers, and not just any soldiers, green berets!"

Twins : *quivering behind Tamaki* 

Tamaki : "And I've heard, we've had diplomatic issues with America ever since that day!"

Haruhi : *blank faced* 

Twins : "How terrifying!" 

Tamaki : "And we've got a bigger problem. Usa-Chan was handmade for Huni-Senpai by his deceased grandmother. You've seen how he carries it around, that little bunny is his most prized possession! I can't imagine how he's going to react when he wakes up, and sees that his precious Usa-Chan is ruined!"

Idiotic Trio : *imagined the huge bunny explosion* "He's gonna do to us what he did to those green berets!!" *freaking out and screaming* 

Haruhi : *blank faced* "You're exaggerating. It's impossible for that story to be true. I mean, c'mon."

Tamaki : *stubborn* "It is! And there's other evidence that Huni-Senpai has an evil side to him. Listen to this, his blood type is AB, how do you like that?"

Haruhi : "Yea, so what?"

Tamaki : "But Haruhi, that means he's the same blood type as Kyoya!"

Haruhi : *freaks*

Idiotic Trio + Haruhi : *Looks over at Kyoya* 

Kyoya : "What's the matter, you guys have a problem with my blood type?" *still typing on his computer*

Haruhi : *turns to the screen* "Oh, those of you watching with type AB, please don't take any offense to this."

Huni : *rolls over in his sleep, sighing*

Idiotic Trio + Haruhi : *freaks* 

Tamaki : *watching Huni from behind the sofa* "This is bad! We have to do something quick before he wakes up. Hikaru, Kaoru!" *snaps his fingers*

Twins : *Salute* *Whisper* "Sir!"

Tamaki : "Go get your folk's Cessna. Fly to Osorezan and bring back a medium. We'll channel his grandmother, and she can guide us through it! We can make a new Usa-Chan for Huni-Senpai!" *holds out a map* "Take this map of the Aomori Prefecture with you, and don't forget to bring back apple juice, apple jam, and Nebuta souvenir dolls!"

Hikaru : "But we don't have that much time."

Kaoru : "We're used to your crazy ideas, but you should come up with something more practical."

Tamaki : *growls slightly* "Alright how about this. We'll send Usa-Chan to the cleaners." *serious* "Haruhi! You're going to have to wear the bunny suit!" *holds the outfit out, blushing*

Twins : "Yea, good idea boss!" *gives Tamaki a thumbs up*

Idiotic Trio : *imagine Haruhi in an Usa-Chan bunny costume*

Haruhi : *glares* "Forget about it. I'm not wearing that stupid bunny suit! It's not gonna work! He'll know it's me!" *whines and tries to get away as Tamaki grabs the back of her blazer*

Tamaki : "No he won't! He won't be able to tell the difference if he's just waking up from a nap!"

Haruhi : "Well then why don't you wear it Senpai!?" *still trying to get away*

Tamaki : "It won't be as cute if I wear it! C'mon this is the least you could do! Since we can't get another bunny you're going to have to step in!"

Haruhi : *shouting while Tamaki does* "Agh! Yes it will! Let go of me, would ya?! Senpai c'mon! Stop it!"

Huni : *sits up in bed*

Tamaki : "He's awake! We'll have to use a substitute! We've got no choice!"

Huni : *rubs his eyes and sees Kuma-Chan*

Idiotic Trio : *silently panicking*

Huni : *grabs the teddy bear and slams him on the ground*

Tamaki : *screeches* "Not my teddy bear!!"

Hikaru : "He's gonna come after us next!"

Kaoru : *squeals* "He just spotted his bunny rabbit!

Huni : *walks over to the table and picks Usa-Chan up* *looks over at the idiots* "Who's responsible for this. Who got Usa-Chan dirty."

Idiotic Trio : *all starch white* "Someone help, Mori-Senpai don't let him hurt us!"

Mori : "He wanted tea. So Usa-Chan decided to have a drink."

Huni : *all smiley* "I see! So that's why his face is all dirty, isn't it!" *holds Usa-Chan up to Mori* "Hey, do you think he wants some cake too?"

Idiotic Trio : *slightly crying, baffled that that's all it took*

Huni's Guest 1 : "Huni, how do you like to have chocolate? Mousse? Bonbons? Wait, I bet chocolate cake is your favorite, huh?"

Huni : "Umm let's see, well, I like them all! I love anything chocolate, Usa-Chan, and all of you ladies!"

Huni's Guests : "Oh he's so cute!"

Renge : *narrating* "Mitsukuni Haninozuka, otherwise known as Huni-Senpai, age 17. Ouran Academy 3rd year Class A and a member of the Host Club. Favorite things include cake, chocolate, and bunnies. He's famous for his enchanting boy-lolita characteristics."

Haruhi : "That was a close call earlier, huh Senpai." *watching Huni from a distance, Tamaki standing next to her*

Tamaki : "No kidding! I'm glad we settled that Usa-Chan issue without any violence."

Renge : "Huni-Senpai's catchphrases include 'I love candy!' and 'I love cute things!' and while some find these charming, I'm not quite sold on his cutesie loli boy image. It's not exciting enough. It feels like something's missing in his character arch!" 

Haruhi : *walks over with a tray of tea* "Uh Huni-Senpai, you can't keep eating nothing but sweets all of the time. Y'know, you're going to end up with a cavity." *sets a cup of tea on the table*

Huni : "Oh don't worry, I always brush my teeth!" *eats a bite of cake and feels a sharp pain*

Hosts : *all look over at Huni* 

Haruhi : "Huni-Senpai.. is it...?"

Huni : *holding his cheek* "Nah it's nothing.. kay?"

Twins : *holding Huni in the chair* 

Haruhi : "Let me just take a look in your mouth.."

Huni : *squirms, whining*

Hikaru : "Hold still."

Kaoru : "Huni-Senpai, please quit squirming!"

Huni : "There's nothing wrong, quit messing with me!" *tears in his eyes* "Leave me alone!"

Mori : *walks up to Huni, grabbing his hand and pushing him onto a sofa, looking into his mouth*

Guests : *gasp in awe, hearts in their eyes* 

Renge : "Yes, that's it, that's it! That's what was missing! It's moe~!" *watches on eagerly*

Mori : *opens Huni's mouth*

Tamaki : *pops up* "So is it a cavity?"

Mori : "Yea."

Huni : "It's alright, I'll be okay.."

Mori : "Tamaki."

Tamaki : "Yes, you're right, I'll take care of this." *clears his throat, announcing to the club* "Until Huni-Senpai gets over his cavity, I'm afraid he can't have sweets."

Huni : *freaks*

Tamaki : "Therefore, we'll be supportive and ask that you kindly refrain from eating snacks in the clubroom until this ordeal is over."

Huni : "N-no! No don't Takashi, please don't take my snacks away." *crying* "You can't, don't do it.. What'll I do without them?"

Mori : *grabs Huni's unfinished cake, walking away*

Huni : *chases after him* "I can handle it! Please don't take away my cake!!" 

Mori : *turns to face him* "No more cake."

Huni : *screams*

Renge : "And that's how it all began. One little cavity and suddenly Huni-Senpai's life became a living hell."

Huni : *walking down the hall with a ribbon tied around his head, holding his cheek*

Huni's Guest 1 : *watching him walk down the hall* "Poor Huni-Senpai looks so miserable. It's a shame the host club banned snacks."

Huni's Guest 2 : "It must be really difficult for him. I hope this doesn't seem insensitive, I know he's in pain but.."

Both Guests : "Awe he's so cute!!" 

Huni : *sighs*

Mori : "Mitsukuni, bag."

Huni : "I can carry it."

Mori : "Yes you can, hand it over." *takes Huni's bag and empties out a pile of candy*

Huni : "I was just looking. I wasn't gonna eat them.." *pouty*

Mori : "Really? If you're just looking, then try this." *holds up a flyer for half-off candy* "I will keep the real stuff."

Huni : *tears up, then screams* *falls to the ground*

Twins : *hiding behind a corner* "Aw man, that was rough."

Haruhi : *came to watch* "I can't help but feel sorry for him."

Hikaru : *walking down the hall with Kaoru and Haruhi* "You know I had no idea that Mori-Senpai could be so brutal."

Kaoru : "You wouldn't expect it. I thought his principles kept him from doing anything to upset Huni-Senpai."

Hikaru : "And to think that he could get the boss to go along with him." 

Haruhi : *stops walking, thinking*

The Host Club is Now Open

Tamaki's Guest 1 : "It's too bad Tamaki. I wanted to give you some of the chocolates specially made by our new patissier. My family just hired him from France, but I can't share them with out because you're not eating sweets." *sitting next to Tamaki on a sofa, saddened*

Tamaki : *smiles softly* "Do not fret my princess, for the present I must abstain for poor Huni-Senpai's sake. But eventually we'll be able to share chocolate together again."

Tamaki's Guest 1 : "Oh the friendship you boys have is absolutely beautiful."

Tamaki : *grabs the girl's hand* "I believe things will work out for the better this way my dear. I'm sure it's delicious but, no chocolate could ever be able to withstand the heat wave of my love. So it would all melt and go to waste."

Tamaki's Guest 1 : "Oh Tamaki.."

Hikaru : "Impressive boss, that was quite an act."

Kaoru : "Missing sweets, aren't you."

Tamaki : "Eh- Buzz off. The club's number one priority is our guests. All that matters is their happiness."

Kyoya : *writing in his notebook* "You had better watch yourselves out there. Don't give any sweets to Huni-Senpai no matter what tricks he resorts to. Oh, and incidentally those instructions come from Mori-Senpai, this isn't my doing." *grinning as he walks away*

Hikaru : "So is it just me, or does he seem to be enjoying this."

Haruhi : *walking down the hallway and sees Mori and some girl* *hides behind a pillar to eavesdrop*

Mori's Guest : *looking down at the ground, standing in front of Mori* "I just can't hide it any longer. I have to get this off my chest. I need to know what your feelings are towards me, and if you'll accept my love. Will you please..? Unless of course there's someone else. Please tell me, is there someone else who's dear to you? There is isn't there, huh..."

Mori : *silent the entire time*

Mori's Guest : *cries softly* "I should've known." *runs off*

Huni's 1st Strategy : Use the Cute

Huni : *running towards Mori* "Look TakashI! my cavity's all better now!"

Mori : *reading* "You sure?"

Huni : "The swelling has even gone down!"

Mori : "Has it."

Huni : "So, do you think I could have a piece of cake? Just one, please?"

Mori : *shoves a popsicle in Huni's mouth*

Huni : *freaks, pulling away from the pain and holding his cheek*

Mori : *walks away* "You're not fully recovered yet."

Huni's 2nd Strategy : The Indirect Method

Huni : *comes up to a table with two guests who're drinking tea and having sandwiches* "What're you ladies drinking?" *cutesie*

Guest 1 : *nervous* "Um, darjeeling tea, it's really good!"

Huni : "Yea? What're you going to have to eat?"

Guest 2 : "Well I was going to have a sandwich.." *nervous*

Huni : "Ahh, you know what you need? Some sweets! That tea would go well with something, sweet! Like maybe some cake! C'mon, whaddaya say?" Oh boy~! Oh boy~!

Guest 2 : "Well it would be good with cake.."

Guest 1 : "It sure would..."

Both Guests : *stands up and run out of the room*

Guest 2 : "We're so sorry Huni!"

Guest 1 : "But it's for your own good!"

Huni : "B-b-but wait!" *reaches out to them, teary eyed*  *pouts*

Huni's 3rd Strategy : Pulling at Heartstrings

Huni : *walks up to Haruhi, sulky*

Haruhi : "Huni-Senpai?"

Huni : *grabs Haruhi's blazer sleeve* "Haru-Chan.. am I a bad person?" *looks up at her, crying* "I just don't understand why God hates me. What have I done?"

Haruhi : *pulls something out of her pocket* "Okay fine, but only this once, got it?"

Huni : *smiles* "Is it a snack?!"

Haruhi : "Yeah, here." *puts a bar of Kyoto Kelp in his hand* "It's the same color as chocolate, try it!"

Huni : *goes white, realizing he chose the wrong person to manipulate*

Third Day of Candy Prohibition

Huni : *irritable* *pacing in front of the kitchen*

Hosts : *watching him anxiously*

Tamaki : "He's gonna crack."

Kaoru : "Would somebody please talk to him? He's scaring me..."

Hikaru : *freaks as Huni goes into the kitchen* "He's headed for the candy!"

Kyoya : "No need to worry, we emptied out all the sweets."

Haruhi : "Kyoya-Senpai, you seem really chipper today."

Huni : *in the kitchen* *opens a cupboard, finding Kuma-Chan* *grabs the bear and slams him onto the floor*

Tamaki : *freaks* "He keeps doing that to my teddy bear!"

Huni : *stumbles out of the kitchen and falls to the floor*

Kaoru : "Well, there he goes."

Hikaru : "Three days and he gives up."

Tamaki : *goes up to him, shaking Huni* "Um, Huni-Senpai?"

Huni : *turns and bites Tamaki's hand*

Tamaki : *screams, running around with Huni latched to his hand* "Somebody help me!! He's eating my arm off!"

Mori : *stands up and walks over to Huni* "Mitsukuni, don't take this out on other people."

Huni : *lets go of Tamaki, his eyes widening* *glares*

Tamaki : *sighs in relief, rubbing his hand while tears stream down his face* "You saved me, I thought I was a goner."

Mori : "It's disgraceful."

Huni : "Takashi..." *flips Mori over his shoulder* "You idiot!!

Hosts : *freak*

Huni : "A little bit isn't gonna hurt me! You're so mean! You're such a hardhead! That's it, I hate you!" *tears up* "I hate you Takashi!" *runs out of the room screaming*

Tamaki : *chases after him* "Huni-Senpai!"

Mori : *sits up*

Hikaru : "Hey Mori-Senpai,"

Kaoru : "That was harsh, will you be alright?"

Mori : *stands up and leans against a table, but then falls as the table tips* 

Flashback Huni : "I hate you Takashi! I hate you Takashi! I hate you Takashi!"

Hikaru : "Wow Senpai, it looks like he really got to you. I don't know what's going on, but it seems like you're self destructing."

Kaoru : "Maybe Huni-Senpai wouldn't hate you if you hadn't have been so hard on him in the first place."

Haruhi : *realization* "It was on purpose."

Twins : "Huh?"

Haruhi : "Mori-Senpai, by any chance, have you been acting like this because you're trying to get Huni-Senpai to hate you?"

Hikaru : "Why would he do that?"

Kaoru : "It makes no sense, that would be like the end of the world for Mori-Senpai."

Twins : "Why would he do it on purpose?"

Haruhi : "Well maybe, because he was trying to punish himself." *looks at Mori* "I'm right, aren't I."

Mori : "Yea you are. This was my fault. Mitsukuni has a cavity.. because I'm careless. Twice before his nap time I forgot to make him brush his teeth."

Twins : *sweatdrop*

Hikaru : "But that's not really your responsibility."

Kaoru : "He should know better."

Mori : "But if Mitsukuni has to get false teeth, it'll be my fault.."

Twins : *blank faced* "Uhh.. Don't worry, that's not gonna happen."

Haruhi : "Wow what a pessimist."

Mori : "I wouldn't be able to live with myself right now, if he hadn't thrown me down."

Kyoya : "Because he felt at fault, Mori-Senpai wanted some sort of punishment from Huni-Senpai to make up for his failure."

Twins : "Well-"

Hikaru : "While that certainly makes for a nice story and everything,"

Kaoru : "It was just a little cavity, right?"

Tamaki : *was outside the door with Huni, listening to what was said* *places his hand on Huni's shoulder* "Well, there you have it. Huni-Senpai, what will you do now?"

Huni : *tears up, beginning to cry* *runs into the room, heading for Mori while crying* "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Takashi! I promise, I won't forget to brush my teeth again! I won't forget!"

Mori : *hugs Huni*

Several Days Later

Renge : "A few days later, Huni-Senpai recovered from his painful cavity. So the host club decided to lift their ban on sweets, and Huni-Senpai can greedily stuff his face once more."

Kyoya : *looking at a bunch of bills with a calculator in hand* *sighs*

Haruhi : "What's with Kyoya-Senpai? He looks depressed about something."

Hikaru : "'Cause Huni-Senpai's back to eating snacks again."

Kaoru : "All those sweets get expensive."

Mori's Guest : "Excuse me,"

Tamaki : "Oh my, looks like we have a new guest gentlemen."

Mori's Guest : *steps into the room* 

Tamaki : "Are you a fan of Mori-Senpai?"

Haruhi : It's that girl..

Mori's Guest : *walks up to Mori* "Well Mori, I understand now. I know who you feel so strongly about, and it's okay." *looks over at Huni, who's indulging on cake* "I must say I find it a little surprising that it's Huni. To think he's so special to you. I don't know.. it's just so.. I can't explain it. I-it's just so.. yay!!" *heart eyes* 

Haruhi : "Huh?"

Renge : "Congratulations! You've just taken your first big step into a brand new world!"

Mori : *cleaning Huni's face off* "Mitsukuni, you've made a mess."

Huni : *giggles*

Fangirls : *squeal*

Renge : "That's right ladies, it's moe! It's the greatest, I just can't get enough of it!" *laughs*

Haruhi : "You know, even though this whole thing may look and feel just like a happy ending, I'm not sure everyone out there would think moe is the best way to wrap things up."

Renge + Fangirls : "Moe!!"

Haruhi : "Oh good grief."

INTRO

Haruhi : "Tamaki-Senpai why're you wearing a silk hat? And Kyoya-Senpai, why're you on top of a mushroom?"

Tamaki : "You're not doing a very good job of keeping up with the story line."

Haruhi : "Next time! 'Haruhi in Wonderland'!"

Tamaki : "The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you!"

Hosts : "We'll see you then!"