TW: gun, death, violence

SHAN

"Why?"

I was not surprised to see her in front of my hotel room after our conversation downstairs. I felt sorry for Samantha and Clyden for leaving too early, but I just could not have fun when my mind was full of things to mind. 

It was wrong. Getting close to her again. Siya lang ang mahihirapan kapag nangyari 'yon... but  I could not get rid of my feelings. I already tried that before, but until now, it was still here. It just won't go away. 

"What is it? What do you want to-"

"I'm still in love with you!" Those words echoed in the hallway like it was begging to sink into my mind. 

That was the best confession I ever heard in my life. It made me so happy. My feelings and emotions were overflowing. 

I got so much love to give to her.

Making love to her was intimate. It was not like before. I felt closer to her heart... I could feel her heartbeat. I could feel everything about her. I could not let her go anymore... not when I finally got to hold her again. 

I woke up earlier than her. I made coffee before I went back to the room, placing the coffee on the side table. I sat beside her while she was sleeping peacefully.

"I hope you don't have nightmares anymore," I whispered as I softly comb her hair with my fingers. "I hope you're not in pain... It pains me too." 

While she was asleep, I made some calls for our date. I wanted us to have a date here before I went home for work.

Seeing how fascinated she was while looking at the artwork made my heart so happy. I longed for the day when she would display all her works in a museum or in an exhibit because her artworks were as beautiful as she was. 

I liked hearing her talk. Gusto ko kapag may sinasabi siya, then she looked so excited to say it. Kahit alam ko na, mas gusto kong magkunwaring hindi pa so I won't ruin her excitement of saying it. 

Whenever she smiled as she talked, I would feel something in my stomach and chest. I loved her a lot. My feelings for her were overflowing.

"Excuse me," I said before answering a call. We were on a cruise dinner. 

[Patay na ho si Mackoy, kagabi lang sa kulungan.] It was one of the men I hired for the private investigation.

"What?" My eyes widened in surprise. 

[Nagkaroon daw po ng kaguluhan kahapon sa bilangguan at nagka-initan kaya nasaksak siya. Patay sa limang saksak.] 

"Alright, tell me more about it when I'm back. I'm flying home this midnight."

It bothered me a lot... because I knew it was not an accident. It was not an action done in the heat of the moment. There was intent. It was not impossible for Villaflor to get rid of him if ever he decided to talk in the future about their connection to each other.

In his perspective, it was better to just get rid of a possible threat in the future. It was not the first time he did this. How many more lives will be at stake? I needed to do something. I needed to stop it.

"I am not scared of death," I told her.

Yes, I was not scared to die. I will have no regrets if I would die trying to fight. I had a lot of mistakes in the past so I was doing something to make things right. 

But I had her.

"We have a lot more to explore," I told her. 

We had a lot of things we wanted to do... things we wanted to see, places we wanted to visit, food we wanted to cook and taste, pictures we wanted to take, and memories we wanted to make.  

We had a lot more ahead of us. Death did not scare me... Losing her did. Losing time with her did. Losing days... months... and years with her did. 

Losing a chance with her did. It scared me. 

So I wanted to make use of every chance I could get. 

"Beautiful," I whispered while taking photos of her with the Eiffel Tower in the background. I wanted to be in that moment forever. Seeing her smile and laugh in front of me. It was as if she had no worries anymore. She was genuinely happy.

We talked about marriage in Paris... so while I was at the airport, I tried looking for a ring. I found the perfect symbol and hoped that it was the perfect size for her. I knew she wanted to get married... and because of that, I was willing to marry. I hoped... but there was still this voice inside me saying that I shouldn't.

So I picked a ring that will be perfect for her even when I'm gone. A ring that she could wear to remind her of me. My love was never limited to marriage... I will bring my love even in the afterlife. 

As soon as I went home, I started looking into what happened with Mackoy. I wanted the name of the person who stabbed him. I wanted to see the history of the people he talked to. The people who visited him in the past few days, weeks, or even months. 

I scanned through all the documents without sleeping... until I found a name that was familiar to me. I started searching for the person who visited him two weeks ago. 

"Fuck." I sighed and massaged my head. I didn't know who he was... but he had photos with Governor Villaflor. I knew something was not right. I called someone to ask where Villaflor was at the moment and drove to get there. 

He was eating in a restaurant. I waited in the car while watching him. They were almost done eating. The governor left the restaurant with three men. Two bodyguards and the other one was the one I was looking for. It was him.

I followed the black car. Kung saan-saan sila dumaan. I wasn't familiar with the places anymore. When they stopped, I also stopped meters away. I parked my car on the side and went down so I could see. I had my phone and started to film what was going on, in case I wouldn't be able to make it out alive.

It was too dark. There were no street lamps, but I could see their shadows. I zoomed in the video to see the car's plate number bago ko tinapat ulit sa kanila. My lips parted when I heard a gunshot. 

My eyes were wide as I saw the shadow of the person falling to the concrete floor. Villaflor just casually returned the gun to his bodyguard and wiped his hand. My breathing went heavy. I covered my mouth to stop making a noise. Napaupo ako sa sahig at nagtago sa likod ng isa pang sasakyan. I was having a panic attack. I couldn't breathe. I felt dizzy. 

They went inside the car and left the scene. Another car came to dispose the body. While they were busy, I immediately ran to my car, not looking back. I drove away to go back to the office. I went straight to the restroom and started vomiting. 

I couldn't breathe. I tried to wash my face after, but the scene kept on playing inside my head. I didn't... I didn't expect that. I... I thought... I....

"Get a fucking grip!" I hit my fist on the countertop as I glared at myself through the mirror. 

Nilabas ko ang phone ko and called the police. I said I heard a gunshot near the location, so they should check it. I couldn't say I was there. I couldn't say I knew... because they will pin the crime on me. They can make it look like it was me. 

The video. I hurriedly checked if I caught that. My hands were shaking as I watched the video. Pagkatapat ko sa kanila ng camera, the video caught a shadow of Villaflor shooting his own employee. Then, it was black because I suddenly put my phone inside my pocket, panicking. 

I ran back home... and saw Kierra in the hallway.

"Ano'ng nangyari sa 'yo?" she asked, worried.

"I'll talk to you later. I'm sorry." 

I did what I had to do when I recovered. I transferred the video and made copies. I had one backup in case they would find all the copies I made. I put it in a flash drive, together with all the other documents I got from my private investigation that could be used as evidence against the Villaflors. I couldn't trust anyone else with that information. 

I tried to report everything I had before but I just ended up being threatened. Walang gustong sumama sa hukay. So, I thought... I needed more. I needed something more concrete. I needed to think everything through. I needed to plan everything no matter how long it would take. 

"Is this a real plant?" I asked when I walked to the coffee table.

"Nope," she answered. "Hindi ko kayang mag-alaga ng halaman." 

Good. She won't have to water it. I put the flash drive there to keep it safe. No one would know. Just her. I knew it was also a risk... but it was a backup plan that will only be used if... if I died. 

The body was not yet found. Hindi ko alam kung saan nila dinispose. I reported the incident to our senior in the office and I showed him the video. I said it was Villaflor. I didn't tell him how I got the video or how I even knew. 

He immediately closed the laptop and looked at me with anger. "Delete this. Now." 

I was shocked. I... thought he was different. 

"Both of us will die if this goes out. Kanino mo pa 'to pinakita?" He looked so scared and angry. 

Umiling ako. "No one..." 

He was not an ally, so I didn't push further. It was a mistake. I did a fucking mistake. Why did I even try to trust anyone else again? 

I needed more solid evidence. My superior had already told me to stop digging, but I just couldn't give up. I asked for the CCTV of the plate number. I needed footage of Villaflor getting inside that car. I needed to know who owned the car. Everything I found was on my other phone. 

Hindi ko alam kung ilan pa ang kalaban ko sa office. Kung ilan pa ang kakampi nila roon. I couldn't act hastily. 

I knew the news will reach Villaflor... so I was just waiting for people to raid my condo. I already put cameras around, in case they would kill me inside my unit. I was already receiving death threats so I already expected them to come at me. I was ready. I was prepared. I was not scared. 

I knew it was them. "I-surrender mo 'yong videos at walang masasaktan sa atin," the man said. I felt the gun pointing at my stomach. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," I denied.

They slapped my face, forcing me to look to the side as they went inside the unit to look for all the gadgets I had. The other man went to me and put his hand around my neck, choking me.

"Nasaan ang videos? Sagutin mo kung ayaw mong masaktan," he said again.

"I said, I don't know. Hindi ko alam." I was having a hard time talking. 

They got my phone out of my pocket and let me go so they could delete all the photos and videos there. It was an extra phone. I left my other phone inside a hidden cabinet, together with my laptop. 

"It's not anywhere. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ang video na nakuha mo," they insisted. "Saan mo nilagay? Sabihin mo kung gusto mo pang umalis kami rito nang buhay ka pa."

"Which video are you talking about?!" I yelled now. 

"Iyong pamamaril ni Governor Villaflor! Ano?! Magmamaang-maangan ka pa ba?!" 

Fuck. Finally. A confession. 

They got every gadget I had and took it with them. I was just glad they left without killing me... Unfortunately, Kierra saw the aftermath. 

"Hello, yes... Are you still in media?" I stood up and walked away so Kierra won't hear our conversation. "I have a video that needs to be spread online." 

I was risking everything, including my life... but I couldn't trust anyone but the public. They needed public pressure to start moving. Without the public's pressure, they will just set aside all the evidence. I needed something to spark the issue about Villaflor... then I could present everything I had. They would have no choice but to look at what I had. 

"They trespassed into my home... pointed a gun at me, physically assaulted me, and got my things," I enumerated all their crimes. "Everything can be seen in the video. They were saying something about the governor." 

It was a trusted friend in the media. Kinwento ko pa buo so he could write a whole article about it. After I ended the call, I received a text message. 

From: Unknown Number

The governor wants to meet this weekend. 

"Fuck," I whispered, massaging my head. 

I didn't know what to reply. I just didn't.

Kierra slept in my room that night because she was so scared of what could happen to me... but I stayed up all night because I was scared of what could happen to her. 

I was staring at my phone for so long. 

To: Unknown Number

Send me the location.

I looked at Kierra again as I got some pieces of paper from the drawers. I knew... what was about to come. I wrote letters, just in case I wouldn't make it out alive. A tear drop fell on the letter I was making for Kierra so I immediately wiped the tears from my eyes.

I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want her to lose me... but if I did achieve my purpose, would I still get to peacefully live with her without fearing for my life or hers? I knew there was more to come. It will never stop... because I knew I will never stop fighting.

Tumabi ako kay Kierra at niyakap siya. Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya habang nakasandal ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered when she fell asleep. I bit my lower lip. "I have to do this..." I hugged her tighter, afraid to lose her. 

I didn't know how much time I had left. I could not predict what will happen tomorrow... so I decided to do everything I could to cherish my moments with the people who were close to me. 

I had this strange feeling... that it could be the last. 

The next morning, I texted the boys if we could have dinner. Good thing everyone said yes. I invited everyone I was close with too... like Haze and Acel. They needed to be there. 

"What's this? Why are you treating us to dinner?" Hiro asked as soon as he arrived at the restaurant. 

I just laughed and asked him to sit down. "Because I got my salary?" palusot ko at tumawa pa. 

"Lame. I told you I wanted to try the Japanese restaurant across," reklamo kaagad ni Haze pagkadating. Acel was behind him, following. 

"How are you? Is everything okay at work?" Acel was concerned because I looked like I didn't have any sleep. 

"Everything's okay." I smiled. It was a lie. Everything was not okay. 

I already ordered because I knew the other will be late. Galing pa silang trabaho at traffic pa dahil gabi na at Friday pa. I just hoped they will arrive before the food was served so they won't eat them cold. 

"My meeting went overtime," Kalix already said his excuse when he arrived. He was still wearing his work attire with that leather briefcase. "Move, uncle," he told Haze. 

"What the fuck," Haze complained, glaring, before moving his chair. 

"Libre 'to, 'no?! Salamat, bayaw!" Dumating si Sevi at tinapik ang balikat ko. "You're the best!"

"Are we drinking after dinner?" Hiro asked the right question. 

Lahat sila ay nagreklamo na pagod daw at galing trabaho, maliban kay Haze na gustong lumabas. I just laughed and shook my head. 

"Wholesome moments lang," I told them, laughing. "Oh, Clyden's here. Doc!" Tinaas ko ang kamay ko para makita niya kami.

Clyden went to us and sat beside Kalix. Mga naka-work attire sila, ah. Long sleeves at slacks. 

"Hiro, Avi's check-up is scheduled next week. Don't forget," bungad kaagad niya pagkaupo. 

"Yes, Doc," Hiro said and smiled. "Woah, the food's here."

"Ako ba 'yon? 'Yong food?" Arkin joked because he arrived at the same time the food was getting served. "Sorry, idol. Late ako. May recording kanina." Tinapik niya ako sa braso. 

Everyone thanked me for the food, which made me feel embarrassed. While we were eating, we just talked about different things like sports, work, love, family, and some nonsense topics. They just liked joking around a lot. I was laughing and smiling the whole time. We also took a group photo. 

"I had a good time," I told them when we were all about to go home. "Thank you." 

"Bye, Prosecutor Lopez," paalam ni Kalix sa akin. 

"Bye, Attorney Martinez," bati ko rin bago siya pinanood sumakay ng kotse niya. 

Sunod namang lumapit sa akin si Haze at Acel at niyakap ako nang sabay kaya muntik na kaming matumba sa sahig. I laughed and tapped their backs. 

"We're going now. Bye, Shan," sabi ni Haze.

"Bye, Shan! See you soon again," sabi ni Acel.

"Bye, Haze and Engineer Peña," I said, smiling. Kumaway na rin ako sa kanila bago sila umalis. 

Sevi also tapped me on the shoulder to say goodbye. "Sevi... Please take care of my sister," I whispered. "And say hello to the baby for me." 

"Noted, Prosecutor Lopez." Sumaludo siya sa akin. "Bye po. Ingat." 

"Ako rin, alis na rin ako. Hinahanap na ako." Tumawa si Arkin at tinaas ang phone. "Bye, idol!" 

"Me too. Bye, Shan." Ginulo ni Clyden ang buhok ko at sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Bye Engineer Camero, Arkin, and Doctor Ramirez!" Kumaway ako nang sumakay na sila sa sasakyan nila. 

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Hiro. Sumandal kami sa hood ng kotse ko habang nakatingin sa may daan, pinapanood ang mga sasakyan. He crossed his arms and looked at me. 

"Yanna and I are going to have another baby," he suddenly told me.

Napaawang ang labi ko at lumingon sa kaniya. "What?" I was shocked to hear the news.

"Yes. Ninong ka, ah," he said, smiling. "You should be there when the baby comes out. It will be one of my special moments as a dad." 

I just smiled. "I'm happy for you. Congratulations." 

The next day, I woke up early to bake some pastries so I could have the whole day to cool them down. Then, I asked Elyse if we could get breakfast. It was Saturday and good thing she had nothing to do. 

"And you know, Kuya, I'm so nervous pa rin because it's my first time being pregnant! Every time I feel something in my stomach, I want to go to the doctor for a check-up!" Elyse kept on talking in front of me while we were eating pancakes. I just listened while smiling. "That's why I'm going to the doctor today. You should come with me! Sevi doesn't know! I don't want him to get nervous too!" 

"Sure... I'll go with you after breakfast," I said. 

"Have you visited dad?" she suddenly asked after a long while. 

Umiling ako. "No... Maybe next time." I had a lot of things to say. 

"The doctor talked to Kuya Roel, and Kuya Roel called me and said he doesn't have long."

Tahimik akong tumango. I would think about it. After eating breakfast, I went to the hospital with Elyse. I was there during the ultrasound. I also saw the baby inside her tummy. I felt so happy while looking at it. 

"It's uncle, baby..." Elyse said, talking to the screen and pointing at me. 

"It's beautiful..." I felt like tearing up. 

If only I could be able to still be there and watch the baby grow... Pero kung hindi, sana... sana makilala niya pa rin ako. 

We took a selfie with the ultrasound. The doctor said everything was normal and healthy, then reminded Elyse of her do's and don'ts. I waited for her outside, then we started walking to the parking lot. 

"I'm excited to build a family of my own," Elyse told me, smiling. 

"You're going to be a great mom." Ginulo ko ang buhok niya kaya sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. "You will do amazing." 

"Aw, thanks, Kuya! I love you!" pang-aasar niya at niyakap ako nang mahigpit. "Thank you for always believing in me!" 

"Of course..." I nodded and hugged her back. "I love you, Eli. Always." 

I also went out with my friends after that. I was with Helen, Ericka, Neil, Lyle, Rey, Arman. Hiro was also there. We went bowling. 

I was just sitting there, watching as they laughed and teased each other with the scores. "Come on, Shan! It's your turn!" Hinatak ako ni Helen patayo.

"Go, Shan!" Ericka cheered. 

"Wala 'yan, bro. Kanal 'yan!" Arman teased. 

I got a strike. Ngumisi ako at nagkibit-balikat, nagyayabang.

"Yabang mo!" Neil shouted while laughing. "Boo!" 

Umupo na ulit ako at tumabi si Lyle sa akin. "Hindi ka busy, Prosecutor Lopez?" he asked. 

Umiling ako. "Rest day," I said, smiling. I had a lot of things to do... but I can do them next time... If there was a next time. 

"Shan, Hiro, come here! Let's take a picture!" aya ni Rey.

All of us took a group photo. I was laughing in one photo because Ericka rode on my back for the wacky, and the others were a mess. 

"I had a great time. Thank you, guys," I told them when it was time to go. I hugged all of them and told them how important they were to me. I also thanked them for being good friends, although we also had a lot of fights before. 

Hiro was, again, left with me. I looked at him and raised a brow.

"Why are we always the last ones to go?" I asked him. "And why are you still here?"

"I don't want you to be left alone," he seriously said. 

"Then... I have to go first." I slowly started walking away with both hands inside my pocket. A teasing smile was plastered on my face. "I have to leave now, Hiro." 

He waved his hand. "Take care, dummy." 

"Ah, I feel bad leaving you alone now," I said, laughing a bit.

"I'll be okay," he told me and gave me an assuring smile. 

I hoped so. I was walking backward while waving my hand at Hiro. A small painful smile was plastered on my face. 

"Love you, bro!" I yelled, laughing. Naiwan ang ngiti sa labi ko nang pagmasdan siya sa malayo. "Hiro... You will always be my best friend." 

He will be okay.

"Please be okay," I whispered. 

Kumaway na ulit ako bago pumasok sa sasakyan. I drove all the way to the hospital to visit Alfred. I saw Kuya Roel waiting outside. He opened the door for me, and I walked in.

Alfred was not in a good condition. He could barely sit up when he saw me. He had an oxygen mask. His eyes followed me as I walked near him. I just stood beside the bed, staring at the man who made my childhood a living hell. 

"You're not a father to me," I told him. "So I don't need to call you dad anymore. You do not deserve to be called a dad... after everything you did... So... How are you, Alfred Ledezma?" 

He just looked at me like he wanted to talk, but he couldn't. That was better. If he could talk, he would probably just argue with everything I was about to say.

"I'm here because I need to get things off my chest while you are still alive and breathing... because I need you to hear them. I need you to be left with these thoughts as you leave... I want you to think about them." 

I didn't know where to start... so I went back to the very beginning. My mom. 

"You hated me... because you hated mom, but you never thought of the things you did. I was a fucking child," I hissed. "I was an innocent child who knew nothing, who wanted nothing but a father's love, attention, and guidance. What did you give? Bruises... Trauma... Fear... You forced me to think that it was normal for parents to hurt their kids as punishment... that that was how you showed that you cared for me..."

Tears started forming in my eyes. It was out of pain and anger. 

"I feel so fucking sorry for myself as a child... because he had a father like you." My hands turned into a fist. "He had a father who despised him when all he ever did was love you. Yes... I still loved you before as a child because you were my father... but I also realized that it wasn't love anymore that I felt... but fear. I feared you. A child should not fear their parents. They should feel safe with them. And you failed to give me that. You failed to make me feel that, so I feel so sorry for myself." 

The tears started falling as I wiped them with the back of my hand. I can't believe I would cry in front of him. I never imagined myself doing this.

"You treated Elyse and her mom with so much love and care that I was almost convinced that you cared... but you were the same monster that you were when mom was still alive. You broke their hearts... You ruined your family. You ruined Sevi's family. The man your daughter loves... How could you do that? How could someone be that evil? I kept on asking myself that. I studied Psychology to find answers... But when I studied law, you know what I realized? Hindi lang pala ikaw. Ang dami n'yo pala. I felt so disgusted." 

Learning that there were also other people going through the same shit as what I had been through before broke my heart. Reading and hearing the testimonies of the victims made me feel so much anger and hatred. 

"I'm trying to save as many people as I can so they will not go through the same thing as I did... or the same thing other victims did... It's crazy how it was never you or the people of your kind who will bear the suffering... but us. Kami 'yong magpapagaling sa sarili namin. Kami 'yong makakaranas ng hirap dahil sa nangyari sa amin. We are the ones who will get the nightmares... and the ones who will carry the memories of what happened. Not you... so no, I will not forgive you."

I saw tears in his eyes, but I just shook my head. 

"I will not forgive you. You do not deserve my forgiveness for everything you've done... and you know what? It's okay. It's okay for us not to forgive the person who made us suffer. Some people would probably say that you're still family... That we are bound together by blood. No... No... I don't want to hear that... because in the first place, a family should not have treated me like that. No amount of apology could make up for what you did."

"I'm... sorry... Ciandrei..." He still managed to speak. "I'm... sorry...."

Umiling ako. "I hope you will live a longer life so everything I said could stay with you longer. You are asking forgiveness so you could die in peace... but no... because I never lived with peace in the first place... and it was because of you." 

He was still crying, but I already stopped. I wiped the last tear I shed. 

"Goodbye... If I ever die first, don't bother going to my funeral and visiting my grave," I said before leaving the room.

Before I left, I tapped Kuya Roel's shoulder. He probably heard everything. 

"Thanks for everything, Kuya Roel. Take care, please. You're already like a father to me." I smiled before walking away. 

My heart was trying to find Kierra after that. I wanted to see her so badly. I also knew she would get so worried because the article already got out. Villaflor would be fuming mad right now. 

I prepared a nice date for us because I wanted to go visit my mom's hometown again. 

 "Plinano mo talaga, ha? Akala ko bukas pa ang date natin?" She was smiling.

"I can't wait to see you."

I don't know if we still have our tomorrow.  

But whatever I have now... I will cherish it with all my heart. 

One thing is for sure. I may not be sure of my tomorrow, but I am sure that this will be a part of my yesterday. You will always be a part of my yesterdays.

"So... See you... tomorrow?" she said when we got back to her doorstep.

I laughed and held her hand. "See you yesterday, my love."

"See you yesterday." 

The next day, I prepared to meet the governor. I messaged Kalix and told him that I was on my way to meet Villaflor. We were meeting in his mansion in Quezon City, so I also sent him my live location para rin masundan niya kung saan ako papunta. This could be used as evidence if... if something happened. Walang nakatira roon. He tried to stop me... but I ignored all his messages. 

I realized one thing before leaving that morning. If I don't go today, they will hunt me down instead. I had a date... It will be bad for Kierra's safety. I knew as soon as I read the text that I had no choice but to go because they will go to me instead.

If I were to go there, I needed something to take back with me. I would never accept the bribe... because that could be a trap for me. If I don't accept it, they would still harm me because they already knew how much damage I caused. I was a pest to them that they needed to get rid of... I could still be killed as soon as I got home... but I wouldn't let them kill me without dragging them down with me.

My death... would be something the people cannot overlook. They cannot escape this anymore. Sila ang huli kong kausap, there was evidence of death threats on my phone, there would be evidence of my last location. Everything will point at Villaflor. They will check everything I gathered in the past. This will surely make all of them go to jail. 

There were lots of bodyguards waiting outside. I looked down at my phone to take a video. I knew it was possible for it not to be used in court... but I still wanted someone to watch it if ever they will go through my phone. It was my life at stake. Pagkapasok ko, nakaupo ang governor sa may sofa. He asked me to sit in front of him. 

"I won't take long." He put a thick envelope on the table. Not just one... but three. "Kung kulang pa, sabihin mo lang."

"What do you want me to do, Governor Villaflor?" I said his name so it would be clear in the recording. 

"Destroy all evidence. Hand me everything you have. Talk to the media. Bawiin mo lahat ng sinabi mo. Sabihin mong nagkamali ka lang. Anything to clear my name. I'll pay you the amount you need." He was smoking a cigarette in front of me, so I scrunched my nose a little. I already stopped smoking.

"Is this what you always do?" I raised a brow. 

Napakunot ang noo niya at tumingin sa 'kin. "What?"

I pushed the envelope to his side. I made sure it will get caught in the camera. "No amount of money can buy my principles, Governor."

His eyes followed me as I stood up to leave. "Who said you can leave?" kalmadong tanong niya. "You know what could happen to you if you leave... You already know too much, Lopez," he threatened. "So, just accept the money while I'm still being nice." 

That made me laugh. Lumingon ulit ako sa kaniya. "Don't flatter yourself, Villaflor. You and the word 'nice' could never be in the same sentence. You know what could be in the same sentence as your name? Corruption, murder, drugs, harassment, plunder, evil." I counted them with my fingers.

"I knew you were fucking insane ever since I met you at the hospital after you almost killed my son," he hissed. 

"Goodbye, Villaflor," I said before walking away.

I drove as fast as I can, looking at the time. Oh... I had a date. She was probably waiting for me. 

But... I also saw what was ahead of me. A car was waiting for me at the end of the road, and a car behind, so I drove faster... until they stopped in front of me. Some men went down and pointed guns at me. Villaflor was there too. 

We were on a public road with cameras around. It was the perfect spot. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to the date... because if I did, they would harm her too, so I just stopped there. 

I got my phone and threw it somewhere below the seats. I heard the sirens of the police from afar going in our direction. Kalix probably called them because he was worried about me, but it was too late.

I heard the gunshots... and felt them. I felt great pain... before it made me numb. They suddenly stopped when the police arrived and I heard more gunshots. I didn't know what was happening... I was just left with blood dripping all over my body. 

I closed my eyes... It was getting harder and harder to breathe. 

At that moment, even when I knew that I expected all of this to happen, that I planned for all of this to happen, a thought still popped into my mind when I remembered her smiling face. 

"Ke..." I whispered. 

I cannot leave yet.

I couldn't when I haven't spent enough time traversing the universe to feel what my heart could not before.

I was not scared of death... But I was just starting to feel alive again. In her arms, I felt alive. I felt happy. Serenity. 

When I saw an image of her in my head, I thought... If ever the universe had an inch of pity for the man who already went through a lot, they would give him another chance, another time, another life... with her by my side. 

But deep inside, I knew it was over... and my only enemy now was time. 

Was it finally happening?

Was I... already forgiven? 

I heard the ambulance. Everything was blurry. I couldn't move. 

It was too late to change my mind... and I didn't have control over my life anymore. 

They transferred me to a bed. They were trying to stop the bleeding. I tried opening my eyes, but all I saw was light. My lips slowly formed a small smile when my good memories flashed back to me. 

Playing with Hiro when we were kids... the mattress. Acel, offering me ice cream in the playground. Elyse, eating cookies in front of my door. Kuya Roel, telling me how proud he was of my grades. Playing with my mom and stepdad at the beach... Having a bonfire with my friends... 

Meeting Kierra, her family, and her friends... Spending Christmas and New Year with Kierra's family, the parties, the weddings... The wedding in the garden, dancing in Paris... 

The way she smiled and laughed... The way she held my hand. The way she kissed me... and the way she loved me. 

"We'll be okay." I heard their voices. A tear fell from my eye as I smiled. That was what I needed to hear.

Can I... finally go now?

The universe was telling me to rest... to be free from the suffering... the worries... That I had a great fight. 

I wanted another life... another tomorrow... Just at least... At least let me meet her again in the future. 

At another time... in another life. 

In another tomorrow... As I leave our yesterdays behind.