I like him.

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened, well yes I couldn't stop thinking about my embarrassment but I couldn't stop thinking about that shock more.

So I slept on it in the car on my way home and realised that I liked him.
"I like him you guys."
Baniaz stared at me like I was out of it because I literally just woke up while Daniel chuckled. Zuoh looked at me like I was really the most stupid thing she had ever laid her eyes on.

"Rachel this isn't the right place to say that." Zuoh whispered at me. My eyes comically opened wide in surprise because it was then I realised I was in a car with one of our parents driving. So I thought of something quick,

"Sorry I was sleep talking."
Karen rolled her eyes and scoffed, I smiled shyly and looked out the window as we drove by cars, humans and houses.

I couldn't help but think, is it really okay for me to move on this quick? I mean it's been over 5 months right? Did I even love Niyi? I mean he didn't make me feel electricity with just a touch? But then again Niyi's touch always made me wary of him, I mean I only let him kiss me once because of how sloppy he is with kissing.

So I shouldn't be comparing Niyi and Khalil at all. Why did I even like that arsehole? He did everything wrong, destroyed my self esteem, made my friends always think I'm a liar and he even made me nearly kill someone and I never got anything from him not even a darn kiss.

What did I see in him? What made me stay despite all the mistreatments? I don't know, I can't answer that question, maybe is because I have a big heart and I forgive easily and I just don't use their problems to define them or I was just that desperate for any kind of attention from him.

That's sad-
"What you thinking about?"
Daniel said placing his hand on mine. I looked at the hand placement and I wanted to cry.

On one hand there's me feeling some kind of electricity with Khalil on the other hand there's Daniel giving me comfort and making me feel like home. What was going on with me? Am I that desperate to be in a relationship that every guy I look at makes me feel some type of way?

I looked up at him and smiled,
"Nothing."
He stared at me with so much intensity that if anyone saw us randomly they'd think he was in love with me but maybe I was just overthinking it, he was definitely just staring at me like that to find out what I was thinking.

"Stop it!"
I smacked his arm. I didn't want him looking at me like that, he was my only guy friend, it'll stay like that.

"What na?"
I glared at him, he definitely knew what he was doing, he's acting all innocent and shit but he wasn't even trying to be subtle about it.

"Stop looking at me like that! It's weird."
"Ahah Dan-dan you are looking at Rachel weirdlyyy..."
Zuoh teased and I rolled my eyes, of course she was listening but we weren't exactly very quiet so everyone was definitely listening.

"I wasn't, it's her that's seeing things."
He shrugged and I rolled my eyes, I knew I was overthinking it.

The rest of the car ride was mostly silent apart from the little snickers from here and there, we finally got home and I rushed home to go talk to Dora because I really needed someone to help with my scattered head.

When I barged into the house my mum was in the living room on her phone. She quickly looked up because of the sudden noise and glared at me, I smiled sheepishly, of course she'd be home early.

"Good afternoon ma."
"Do you want to break the door?"
"No, sorry ma."

She sized me up looking for any flaw in my appearance before asking,
"How was school?"
"Same old."
I said and started heading to my room.

"Don't forget to remove your uniform this time!"
She screamed after me
"Okay ma."

I walked as fast as I can into Dora's room, I needed some clarity. Yes I had a best friend, but my sister just had to know first.

"Dora I think I'm running slightly mad."
I said as I threw my bag on the floor and sat down against the door.

She looked at me from her queen sized bed that was littered with school books. Dora was the studious one out of the both of us.

"Hi Dora, how are you? How was school? What happened today?"
She said insinuating that I skipped a couple sentences. I rolled my eyes at her, she was supposed to be asking me that, after all, I was the one who just walked in.

"I'm actually serious, this thing is really getting to me!" I sulked.
She sat up straight looking at me as if to tell me I have her undivided attention. I adjusted myself on the door and cleared my throat.

"Okay so you remember Khalil right from Jss3?"
She hummed in response.

"Well he's in this school, duhh, but that's besides the point, we started talking again and I'm getting really comfortable with him, to be honest I feel like I'm starting to like him or I like him I don't know?! But the thing is I just broke up with Niyi and I feel like I'm not over him but like I know I was never into him I only liked the fact that I wasn't alone, you get? Anyways so Khalil touched me today and I felt like he shocked me, like electricity but not the bad kind..."

"Ooh like all those wattpad kind of feelings?"
She asked, raising one of her bushy eyebrows in the process.

"Exactly like those kind of feelings. I've never felt it before, it's exciting and scary and it made me actually think I like him that was until Daniel also touched me..."

At the mention of Daniel's name, Dora's big brown eyes grew bigger out of shock and her hands flew up to her face to cover her mouth. I bit my lip nervously waiting for any response other than that.

She finally dropped her hands from her face, and her face that was filled with shock a minute ago was now covered in confusion.

"Wait so you like Daniel?"
I blinked once then twice before a scowl sat on my face. Where did she get that conclusion from? Do I though?

"Of course not! No I don't, he's my friend, you didn't let me finish!"

She glared at me,
"Well it's not my fault, you paused as if to say there was something there after he touched you!"
She whisper yelled.

I sighed and slapped my right hand on my face then dragged it down slowly before sighing again.

"Okay fine. Daniel's touch wasn't like Khalil's. Daniel's touch gave me some sort of comfort, like he was my calm in the midst of the storm, you get what I mean? While Khalil's touch made me excited."

"It doesn't sound like you like Daniel, you also said Khalil gave you comfort which means you're comfortable with both of them and you can let your guard down around them, which is essential for any friend even. The difference between these two is that Khalil has more emotions in it, he makes you excited and comfortable, like a rollercoaster ride. Even though rollercoasters are not comfortable but you get right?"

She asked me as if she was scared that she wasn't making sense. I nodded at her and gave a little smile.

"Rachel see, you are having feelings for Khalil, Daniel just happened to be a guy you're comfortable with and Niyi? well fuck him. He is the past for a reason so don't let him affect your present or future."

I looked at her oddly. When did Dora become so smart, I'm supposed to be the older sister you know?

"What the fuck was that?"
I asked in mock shock. She eyed me and laid back down on her bed, picking up her pen to continue whatever she was doing before I came in.

"That was me being the smarter sister, animal."
I scoffed and removed my shoes. I stared at them for a while then sighed. I looked up to see Dora already staring at me trying to figure out what I was thinking about then I scowled and threw one of my shoes at her head.

"Rachel now!"
I cackled evilly, I found joy in tormenting her. She hissed and threw it back at me which I dodged easily.

I smiled at her.
"So what you gonna do about your feelings for Khalil?"
She asked genuinely interested in my reply. I sighed again before struggling with my socks.

"To be honest, I don't know."

A

:
Hey you guys, I've had this in my drafts for weeks now, sorry for not kicking it out 😂
Anyways thanks for reading ❤️