A.N: It's about time we finally started publishing these again!  I've literally had the next couple episodes of this already drafted and written down in a physical notebook for quite a number of months now, (PURR-haps about a year, maybe even a little longer?!😬) so I'm finally stealing a bit of time to publish this!  Thank you all for your patience, and hopefully this won't be the last episode in too long, because I am rather enjoying this collaborative effort, hehe!  ~Kat 😸🌺

I'm just here for the cookies!  Also, please upvote and comment if you like these!!!  It's hard being the comic relief!  ~Storm 😜🤪🌩

*The camera's recording light flashes on*

"GO GO GO!!!  Stevenson, lift your legs higher!  Rogers, I want 100 lifts of those dumbbells, not ten!  Willis, you're supposed to run the other way!!!"  Kat barks out orders to a group of men and women who look hard-pressed to keep up with her commands.  

"I'm going to whip the whole sorry lot of you into shape if it's the last thing I do!  Even a tiny spider is faster than you, Peele!"  Kat points up at Gayle, who's gleefully swinging past a heavily sweating man on monkey bars.  He falls off and lands on the floor, wheezing.

"It's alright, Peele."  Kat says, patting him on the back.  He looks up at her gratefully as she continues,  "It's not your fault that a miniscule arachnid has bested you in combat training!!!"  She hollers into his face.

Peele buries his face into his hands, ashamed, and breaks down, sobbing.

Storm walks onto the set just then and halts, staring.  "Why is there a military training course in the studio?!!"

Peele glances up at Kat.  "I'M SORREEE!!!"  He bawls.

"Do you have a problem with what I do in my spare time, Storm?"  Kat asks, crossing her arms across her chest.

"No, I just-  Ooh, monkey bars!"  Storm leaps up and easily swings across them alongside Gayle, whooping with delight.

Peele risks another glance up at Kat.  She glares meaningfully at him, and he quickly averts his eyes and weeps even harder.

"Storm, quit showing off!  Stevenson, Rogers, Willis, get Peele out of here!  Crew, remove the equipment, please!"  Kat efficiently organizes everyone, and the set is clear within thirty seconds.

"Impressive, boss lady!"  Storm smirks and claps her hands.  The crew members leap up and put the table and chairs into place, then try to sit back down, but stop when Storm yells at them in fine military fashion.  "DID I TELL YOU THAT YOU COULD SIT DOWN AGAIN?!!  GET BACK TO WORK, YOU SLACKERS!!!"

Everyone stares at her.  She shrugs.  "Oh, so it's fine when Kat does it."  She grumbles.

"That's because, as you said, I'm the boss lady."  Kat snaps her fingers, and someone runs up with a sheaf of papers and a cup of tea.

"Considering how illiterately most people behave these days, that's an awful lot of paper."  Kat says, taking a slow sip from her teacup.  She leafs through the papers.  "Call your mother...  Autograph signing at 10 on Tuesday...  Call your mother...  Local gun shop's having a sale on rifles...  Ooh, I'll be checking that out!  ..Call your mother..-"  

She starts muttering aggressively under her breath in Hungarian.  "Anyukám!  Majd hívlak, amikor kész leszek!  Heti fél órát töltök itt, tessék várni annyi ideig, légy szíves!!!"  (My mother!  I will call you when I'm done!  I spend half an hour a week here, please wait that long, if you'd be so kind!!!)  She finishes with a French, "Mon Dieu!"

Storm eagerly snatches up the papers.  "Today's question is sent in by @Kemiberry."  Storm waves.  "Hi, Kemiberry!  She asks: 'Do spiders have proper feelings when they mate, or do they have a child and pretty much ignore each other?'"  She shoots a look of alarm at Kat, who returns it.

"Well, this show was supposed to be child-friendly..."  The elder grumbles.

"Gayle, can you come over here, please?!!"  Storm calls.

"DON'T DO IT, GAYLE!!!  YOU'LL BE THROWING AWAY YOUR INNOCENCE!!!"  Kat screams desperately, as Gayle scuttles over.  The spider climbs up Storm's leg and onto the table.

"That's it.  We're doomed!"  Kat groans.

"Gayle, I want you to meet someone."  Storm says, opening her palm.  A tiny male spider blinks up at her.  "Gayle, meet Gilbert!"  Storm shouts triumphantly.  

Gilbert jumps in fright and lands in front of Gayle.

Spider's POV:

Gilbert: Well, hello there!

Gayle: *Flutters all of her eyelashes*  Nice of you to drop in!

Gilbert: You're looking gorgeous today!

Gayle: -And you're not too bad yourself, stranger!

Gilbert: And I'm not just a stud, I'm romantic, too!

*Cue cheesy romantic montage of them biking on a tandem, having a candlelit dinner, dancing, etc.*

Gayle: *Swoons*

Gilbert: *Kneels down and pulls out a fly*  Will you marry me?

Gayle: *Squeals and hops up and down*  YES!!!  YES!!!  YES!!!  *Eats fly*

Gilbert: Let's honeymoon right now!

Host's POV:

"Oh, no!"  Kat gasps.

Storm squints at the spiders.  "What are they saying?"

"Well, Gilbert just proposed, Gayle accepted, and now they're going to honeymoon."  Kat translates.

"Oh, okay.  Wait, here?!!"

As the spiders begin to mate, Kat shrieks and covers Storm's eyes.  "DON'T LOOK, CHILD!!!"

Storm peers out from between her friend's fingers, wide-eyed.  "Well, this is awkward..."  She gulps.

-A few minutes later-

"Wow, spiders can sure mate for a looooong time."  Storm observes.

Kat claps her hands together loudly.  "Alright, that's enough!  Break it up!"

-About a month later-

Spider's POV:

Gilbert: *Racing to the spider hospital*  OMIGOSH!!!  OMIGOSH!!!  I hope I get there on time!!!

*Runs up to a nurse*  Where's Gayle?!!

Nurse: Sir, I don't think that you're-

Gilbert: DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, WOMAN!!!  WHERE'S MY WIFE?!!

Nurse:  *Mutely points down the hall*

Gilbert: *Already running*  Thank you!

Gilbert: *Opens door*

Gayle: *Looks up at him lovingly*  You're just in time...  *Shows him the egg sac that's in her arms*  They're hatching!

Gilbert: *Excitedly watching as they hatch*

Also Gilbert: *Internal screaming*

Host's POV:

"The eggs are hatching."  Kat states calmly.

"Ooh!"  Storm squeals with delight, then pauses, gathering the few tiny thoughts that make it to her brain.  "Aaaww, did you make them a tiny hospital?"

"Uhh..  Maybe..?"  Kat looks embarrassed.

"That's so cute!!!"

"Okay, okay, don't bust a gasket."  Kat grumbles, blushing slightly.

"I knew you had a heart in there somewhere!"  Storm smirks, snickering.

Kat smacks her in the back of the head lightly.  "I knew you didn't have a brain in there anywhere!"  She exclaims gleefully.

"Touché, Kat."  Storm mutters.

"Look!"  Kat points at the spiders.  Miniscule babies are emerging from the sac.  "What are you going to name them all?"  Kat asks the proud parents.

Spider's POV:

Gayle: Well, I thought Sasha for this one, Wilbur for him, Tamara for her-

Gilbert: Whoa whoa whoa!  Aren't you going to let the ladies name a couple?!!  They're the godmothers of these two, after all!!!  *He lifts up two babies*

Host's POV:

Kat clasps a hand over her heart, overcome, whilst Storm gasps and wipes a tear from her eye with a sniff.

Kat indicates a baby.  "I'm rather keen on Lucretia for this one."

"Pfft!"  Storm snorts.  "That's a pretty unusual name, don't you think?"

"Not unusual, unused."  Kat corrects.  "..And let me guess, you're going to do the same?"

"Pfft, nooo..!"  Storm says again.  She pauses, then hastily adds,  "Let's call the other one Cressida, shall we?"

Kat bursts out laughing.  "I knew it!!!"

Spider's POV:

Gayle: What lovely names!

Gilbert: Yes, I agree, but what are we going to name the seventy-three other babies..?!!

Gayle: *Looks worriedly at her husband*  I hope you have a lot of aunts.

Gilbert: Ohhh boy..!

A.N: If anyone got the slight Marvel reference in the beginning, I love you.  ~Kat 😸🌺

Not me losing even more braincells the more we brain-STORM these.  Heeheehee!  ~Storm 🌩

FLIP ALL THE TABLES!!!!!!  (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻  ~Also Storm  😈

This episode was first aired on Thursday, January 12, 2023

Word count: 1256