7: Guilty
It had been a week since the visit to the Anger Room and over a week since the painful breakup. Jane was still grappling with letting go of the past. With Yura by her side, things had started to calm down, but healing takes time. Thoughts of how and why he had left continued to linger. It wasn't easy to simply erase David from her mind.
Visiting his house had become a part of her routine since the breakup. From a distance, she would gaze at the house, especially when the longing for him became unbearable. She would wait until she saw him return from work and enter the house. And on her way back home, tears would once again stream down her face. She felt like a stalker, but what else could she do? Her love for him was still so strong.
It's difficult to hate someone when you've invested your heart and soul into the relationship. Sometimes, she would question herself, wondering what she had done wrong. The insensitivity he had shown wounded her deeply. Not knowing her mistakes only added to her sadness. He had vanished from her life without a trace.
She put on a facade, telling everyone that she was doing fine. But deep down, she knew she couldn't fool herself. She missed David. The pain was real.
Even though she tried to conceal her emotions, they were still evident to Eric and Suraya. It was easy to see, especially when she would stare blankly out of her office window. She made efforts to appear happy, but Jane was not skilled in the art of deception.
So, they encouraged Yura to get closer to her, as they had noticed his genuine interest in her. They ended up spending time together, with Yura attempting to mend her broken heart. However, her love for David was overpowering. Even when she was with Yura, she couldn't forget David.
She despised herself for using Yura as an escape. Sometimes, she felt sorry for him. He never hid his feelings for her. He kept coming, trying to spend time with her, and he did his best to bring happiness into her life. But things remained stuck, unable to move forward.
***
"Sorry, I'm the one who told Yura about you," Eric confessed one evening.
"Way to go, Eric. And here I thought you were my friend," she felt deceived, but deep down, she knew Eric had good intentions. He had no right to share her secrets, yet it was difficult to be mad at him.
"I hate seeing you like this! And I believe Yura's feelings are genuine. He's really into you," Eric said earnestly. She looked at him with weary eyes, a tired mind, and a wounded soul.
"I know that too, but I don't want to use him as an escape to forget about Dave. It wouldn't be fair to him," Jane replied. Her heart wasn't ready for love yet. She was still deeply heartbroken, and it wouldn't be right to string someone along when she couldn't open her heart.
"He's so cruel, making you question everything like this! How could he be so heartless? People make mistakes, and you two could have talked about it," she admitted that Eric's words rang true. But her love for David had blinded her. She refused to see his faults.
"Maybe he has his problems. Perhaps he needs some time," Jane defended, holding onto a glimmer of hope.
"Shut up, Jane! If he truly loves you, he wouldn't have ghosted you like this and left you hanging. If he truly loves you, he would have called or sent a text by now. But did he? Tell me!" Eric's frustration began to boil over. She failed to realize the crushing feeling of being discarded without any explanation.
"Maybe he needs some time..."
"Enough with the maybes! You know what? I can't handle this anymore! I'd rather leave before I say something even more hurtful," Eric stormed out of her office.
She slumped into her chair, tears streaming down her face. In her heart, she clung to the belief that this was just a temporary breakup.
David will come back to me. He promised to love me so much...
***
She gazed at the car parked in front of the house, mustering every ounce of strength to approach the door. She needed answers, and closure, even if it meant ending things with David on good terms.
David emerged from the house, heading towards his car. She sprinted towards him, desperation etched on her face.
"Dave..." she grasped his wrist, pulling him aside.
"What are you doing here?!" his annoyance was evident as he laid eyes on Jane. But blinded by love, she couldn't help but embrace him tightly.
"Let me go, Jane! We're over, remember?!" he forcefully pushed her away, nearly causing her to lose her balance. She managed to steady herself, though.
"I just want to know what I did wrong. Please don't ghost me like this, Dave... I can't function since we broke up! I need the truth," Jane pleaded, her voice quivering with emotion. She struggled to maintain composure, not wanting to break down in front of him.
"Dave, what's wrong, honey?" a woman emerged from his house, interrupting the tense moment. Jane swiftly turned her head to face the newcomer.
"Helen?" her heart skipped a beat. Helen glared at her, furrowing her brows as she approached David. He lovingly caressed her back, the gesture so familiar.
"Nothing, sweety. Just an old friend visiting..."
"Where's the blanket?" Helen inquired softly. David handed her the baby blanket.
"Should I stay or...?"
"You should go inside, sweety. Alice might wake up soon..." David kissed Helen's forehead before she walked away, casting a smug glance at Jane.
"What just happened, David?" she couldn't recall the last time she addressed him by his full name. But he should have known by now that Jane using his complete name indicated impending doom. He sighed, looking at her with a weariness in his eyes.
"I have a baby with Helen. She was pregnant when I left her for you..." he uttered calmly, the weight of his words sinking in.
"What?"
"Yes. She came to me a month ago with Alice. She believed I should know because I'm her father. She even had a DNA test, confirming that Alice is my biological daughter," the pieces started to fall into place.
"If that's what led to our breakup, it's absurd! You know I could have accepted anything, right? We could have talked about it! I could have embraced your child and become her mother too! We didn't have to break up," Jane exclaimed, her voice filled with pain.
"Spending time with Helen and Alice made me realize... how happy I am in this situation. I guess I still love Helen. And with Alice, the bond grows stronger every day. It's not easy to forget someone when you have so many shared memories. That's how I feel for Helen..." Jane fell silent, her heart-shattering. She understood that feeling all too well—she was experiencing it at that very moment.
"Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you have to treat me so poorly?" she implored, her voice trembling.
"I didn't know how to say it. But since you insisted on knowing, I'll tell you now. I felt guilty for abandoning Helen during the most challenging time of her life. And... I couldn't help but blame you for that," Jane nearly collapsed to her knees.
"How could you think that way?! I never asked you to leave Helen for me! You were the one who came back, professing your love. You proposed you put effort into this relationship. And now you blame me?" Jane's words hung heavy in the air, echoing the betrayal she felt.
"I must be a fool. I should have thought long and hard about this relationship. But the more I reflect, the more guilt consumes me. How could I be so heartless, abandoning Helen and Alice because I was blinded by your love? I can't help but believe that you're the reason I almost became a callous man. It's all because of you."
Jane stared at the man, realizing that he blames her for everything. At that moment, she understood that there was no love left for her. The saddest part was that it had already faded away, even while they were still together. Their love had ended long before the relationship itself had ended.
There was no reason for her to wait any longer. He would never love her enough to leave his family behind. His devotion to them was unwavering. There was no room for her, no place in his life. Even if she forced her love upon him, things would never be the same between them in the future.
"I'm sorry, David, for causing all this turmoil. I believed all this time that our love was pure and genuine. But now I see how flawed humans truly are. How foolish I was to live in this fantasy world. Happily ever after only exists in fairy tales. I should have known better, shouldn't I?" Jane spoke, strengthening her shattered heart, appearing strong and unbroken before him. But only God knew how utterly devastated she truly was. No words could describe it, not a single one.
"I hope you find happiness with your family. And yes, this is the last time we'll ever see each other. I can guarantee that."
"Jane, I..."
"I have to go now. Thanks for clearing up the mess," she turned and walked away, no longer able to contain her sorrow. She hurried to her car, hopelessness engulfing her, and drove away with tears streaming down her face. It was over. It was truly over now.
She stopped at a bar a few miles away from her home. Her heart was on the verge of bursting, her mind no longer in a state of normalcy. She needed a distraction, something to numb the pain.
A colossal distraction.
She locked eyes with the bartender, her expression filled with urgency and anguish. It was now or never. She let her emotions spill over.
"Tequila. Double shot."
***
Jane stumbled out of the bar, her words slurred and her mind clouded. She could hardly believe what she had become. It was astonishing how she managed to stay on her feet, despite the tingling effects of the tequila poisoning her system.
Being drunk didn't seem so terrible after all. She wished she had tried this earlier. She felt like she was floating in bliss, lost in her intoxicated paradise.
Slowly, she made her way toward where she thought her car was parked. Her thoughts were hazy as she wandered around, struggling to recall the exact location.
Then, it hit her. Her car was parked across the street. She smacked her forehead, berating herself for overlooking such an important detail. With a carefree giggle, she decided to make her way across the road.
Easy peasy, she thought, her laughter echoing through the night. But as she began to move, she noticed a sudden noise, a sound that pierced through her intoxicated haze. She turned her head to the left and saw a car approaching. Panic surged through her, and she desperately tried to avoid the collision.
But the tequila had dulled her reflexes.
All she saw was darkness, a pitch-black sky filled with twinkling stars. Fatigue washed over her, along with an overwhelming sense of sleepiness and misery.
So she closed her eyes tightly, surrendering to the darkness.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top