When I was 3, I told my Mama that I wanted to be an artist. She smiled at me and said that I could decide whatever future I wanted to take.

She would always appreciate my cute little drawings, put them in a frame and hang them on our walls. My Papa would always bring home a plastic bag full of colored pencils and water colors. They always say they love me.

When I was 4, my mama got sick. She said that if one day she is gone, I needed to be strong. Little did she know that my little heart was aching whenever she said that.

I woke up one morning and my Mama was beside me, watching my cute actions carefully.

"My Imara Alessia." She called me.

"My Eli." She called me once again, so I got up from my bed.

"What is it, Mama?" My cute little voice echoed the whole room.

"What would you like to be someday?" She asked again.

If I was still 3, I would have immediately answered the same. But things changed and so my dreams.

"I want to be a Nurse, Mama. I'll help you recover fast. I'll take care of you." I said.

I can see tears on my Mama's cheek.

"Whatever you want to be, Eli. I'll always support you." She hugged me tightly after that.

"Me and your Papa are always so proud of you, our little one. Be brave like Mama and Papa, okay?"

"Of course, Mama. Papa said that if I doubt myself, I should always remember that I am your Hiraya Manawari." I answered.

I was 6 when I got my first heartbreak. My Mama's gone and my Papa was so devastated. My Papa tried his very best to give me all I wanted. They both give me the love and care that they say I deserve.

"You're a brave girl, right Eli?" One night my Papa asked me.

"Of course, Papa! You'll come back tomorrow early, right?"

"Yes baby. I'll be here before you open your cute little eyes." I smiled at what he said. He's having an emergency meeting tonight and he will be back tomorrow.

"We love you, Eli. Sleep early, okay?"

"Yes Papa. Take care." And kissed him on his cheeks.

How I wished I didn't open my eyes that morning just to greet another heartbreak. My Papa's gone. I was left alone in that very same month.

My Nana Mona was the one who raised me. She's the only one who stayed by my side. My Papa's businesses failed but I still have a hold on our other properties.

"Kung naririto lang sana ang Kuya Vin mo. Hindi ka nya papabayaan." Nana said while caressing my hair.

I knew my Kuya Vin. I was just 2 years old when they told me that he's gone.

I was 14 when my Nana Mona left me and joined the heaven. I was all by myself, again.

Bakit ba lahat ng mga mahal ko iniiwan ako?

So many things have changed in the past few years. At a young age, I survived living. I moved to one of our houses in the province and started my new life. I also decided to move their souls to the province. It's very impossible for a young little girl to survive all alone, but maybe this time, luck was on my side.

I was 16 when I enrolled in nursing and got an scholarship. I also got several jobs to support myself even though I'm a minor and decided to stop working on my last year of college because in that time I can use the trust fund my parents gave. This is what I have wanted since I was 4. I hope I will never forget who I want to be. Hiraya Manawari.