I looked at him and frowned. He seems anxious by my response.

"Seryoso ba yan?" Tanong ko habang unti-unting nilalabas ang bitbit kong blood pressure. Nilapitan ko ito at inilagay sa kaliwang kamay ang aparato.

"Don't move." I said. Para naman itong naestatwa at parang hindi nga huminga. Sinabihan ko lang namang huwag gumalaw.

"105/70. It's normal. But your heart rate is a bit fast. Just relax." Sabi ko at iniligpit na ang dala. Napakatahimik pa rin ng buong klase at umingay lang ng may narinig kaming pumasok at nagsalita.

"Imara Alessia. What are you doing here, baby?" Napalingon naman ako kay Rav at nakitang papalapit na sya sa akin. Nakakunot ang noo at masama ang tingin sa katabi kong nagpa bp lang naman.

"May hinatid lang." Naningkit naman ang mga mata ko nang maalalang dapat ay wala ito rito sa school. Napansin nya ata iyon kaya naman bahagya syang ngumiti.

"I was just passing by, baby. Actually uuwi na ako, tanong mo pa kay Grey at Justin." He said and pointed his friends at his back.
Ni hindi ko na napansin ang ginawang pagtawag nya sa akin at napatingin sa mga kaibigan nya. Parang synchronized pa sila sa pagtango.

"Yeah. Whatever you say." Sagot ko at humakbang na. Hindi ko na sya hinayaan pang magsalita at dire-diretso na palabas ng pintuan nila.

"Martinez! Ba't ka nagpa BP? High blood ka bang gago ka ha?!" Naririnig ko pa ang nanggagalaiting sigaw ni Rav nang makalabas ako. Napailing nalang ako sa mga inaasal nila. Ang we-weird talaga ng mga tao.

Panibagong araw at sa hospital ulit ako ngayon. Nagchecheck ng mga charts ng mga patient kasama ang mga RN. Umaga pa lang pero nakakatoxic na. May kasama kasi kaming nagbaon at kumain ng pansit. It was just a superstitious belief, but there's no harm if we believe it. Medyo ngumangalay na rin ang likod ko dala na rin ng pagtakbo paroo't parito. I tried to stretch my arms to release the pain in my back.

I knocked on the door while carrying the medicines for my patient.

"Good morning po. Dala ko na po yung gamot na iinumin nyo ngayong morning." Bati ko nang nakangiti.

Tinitigan lang ako ng matandang babae. Ikalawang araw nya na dito at ni minsan ay hindi ko pa nakita ang bantay nya. Siguro hindi ko lang natsetsempuhan.

Hinayaan nya naman akong painumin sya. Kakatapos nya lang ring kumain. Tinulungan ko syang humiga dahil sumasakit daw ang likod nya dala na rin ng katandaan.

"Alam mo ba, Iha? Ganyang ganyan din ang anak ko dati. Inaalagaan ako." Pagsisimula nya kaya't napatingin naman ako sa kanya. Ngumiti naman ako sa narinig.

"Pero nang mag-asawa ang anak ko. Parang nakalimutan na ata ako?" Dugtong nya pa.

"Ayaw ko namang maistorbo sya kaya't hindi na lang ako naghahangad ng atensyon nya. Siguro nami-miss ko lang ang anak ko. Sino ba namang magulang ang makakalimutan ang anak? Pero ang anak, maaaring kalimutan lang ang magulang." Madamdamin nya pang sabi.

"Kung naririnig nya po kayo, malamang nasasaktan sya dahil ganyan ang pagkakaalam nyo." Mahinahon kong sabi at binigyan sya ng tipid na ngiti.

"Subukan nyo pong tawagan. Baka naghihintay lang din po sya ng atensyon nyo." Dugtong ko pa.

"Wala na man pong anak ang maghahangad na mawala sa tabi nila ang kanilang mga magulang. Hindi man po kayo nakakasama physically pero yung malamang nandyan lang kayo sa tabi nya ay ayos na."

"Maraming salamat, Iha. Mabuti at sinabi mo ang mga 'yan at ngayon ko lang napagtanto na maaaring ganyan rin ang nararamdaman ng anak ko." Sabi nya at bahagya pa akong niyakap.

Lumabas na ako ng kwarto pagkatapos. I put the things I used on it's proper places. We never really know how other people think. Maaring ang pagkakaunawa mo ay iba sa pagkakaunawa ng iba.

Isn't it sad? To think that you've experienced all kinds of pain, but you're still not used to it.

To think that you thought you had made a better version of yourself, but at the end of the day you realized that you're still the same little girl longing for love and attention.

I looked at the glass wall. Nakikita mula dito ang mga taong bibisita lamang para sa kanilang mga mahal sa buhay. Ang iba'y may bitbit na prutas, ang iba naman ay mga gamit at damit ang hawak. Some faces are familiar, like those who usually visit the patient. Helping to recover the latter just by providing moral support.

I had my 10 minute break, so I walked out of the room and found myself outside, sitting on a bench. I saw a group of people passed by. I'm not sure if they're family or just a bunch of friends.

I remembered the time when I first met Vina. It was my hopeless moment. I don't want to live. I was so fucking tired of everything. I'm all alone. I have the money and property, but I was not happy. My heart was empty. I felt numb and lonely.

I looked at my hands. They were trembling. And even though I had the means, I became a dishwasher. My reason is that I wanted to save it for my last year of college so I could focus on my studies and stop working. And the other reason was I wanted to distract myself from doing stupid actions.

I tried to be positive, to be faithful, and to value everything. But I can't think straight right now. I don't care anymore.

I looked below and saw the depth of the water. The calmness of the sea flow was urging me to jump. I looked above and saw the moon and stars. They were brighter than before. The dark night was helping them to give off a glow. This was one of the many episodes I tried to end my sufferings.

I apologized to God for not being able to keep up. I was ready to jump. I was ready to end my life. I was ready to leave everything behind. I was ready to give up.

I already saw some light. I think this is my cue.

But someone pulled me. A soft cry stopped me from jumping. I can't feel anything. I feel so lost.

"Don't. Don't do that." She said while crying. She hugged me and dragged me away from the railing.

"Why?" That was my first word after everything. I don't have the energy to talk.

"You're hurt. I know you're in pain compared to what I've been through." She answered me while still crying.

"I'm about to jump too. But I saw you. I regretted my decision, so I saved us both." She continued. I looked into her eyes. Her face was full of sweat and tears.

That was the moment that I realized she was an instrument of God. He saved us both from drowning.