The shriek sound of my alarm woke me up from my not so deep slumber. I feel like it was just a moment ago that I had fallen asleep, and it is 5:30 am already now. Despite the jet lag, falling asleep yesterday was a struggle because my mind was occupied with lots and lots of thoughts and waking up today is again a struggle because I'm not ready to see the first day of my arrival here yet. Moreover, I'm not fond off waking up early unless I've to report to work, I love sleeping. But now that I've already woken up, I think I should go grab a cup of coffee and have a moment of silence with myself before everyone wakes up.

While mentally planning my day, I walked towards the kitchen but to my surprise, it was already occupied by Riddhima and Ridhvi.

Ridhvi sat on the kitchen tabletop, all fresh and energized unlike me who had not even bothered to brush.

"Will you take hot or cold milk?" Riddhima questioned, she had her back towards her as she took out the milk from the refrigerator.

Ridhvi pretended to think, her shoulders slouched, cupping her face with both her hands. Cute.

"Tell me betu."

"No milk, Mumma me same...tea."

There was no response from Riddhima, she simply proceeded to heat the milk.

Probably taking her silence as no, there came a three sixty degree turn in her face expressions. She no more looked excited but instead looked like a kid who was denied of his favorite candy, oh she was actually that kid here.

"Please" she pleaded, her eyes suddenly full of unshed tears.

Wow! That was quick. I thought to myself.

"Okay, whatever my princess wants" Riddhima said, without much resistance.

Ridhvi grinned.

She was a drama queen, I concluded.

"Good morning papa"

She beamed at me, drawing her mother's attention too.

"Good morning" I attempted to sound as enthusiastic as her, making her way towards them. She was quick to throw herself in my arms, not giving me time to prepare. I stumbled back, barely managing to hold her safe. Riddhima lurched forward to hold her at the same time. I sent an assuring glance towards Riddhima, standing straight and tightening my hold on Ridhvi. Riddhima sighed. Ridhvi planted a kiss on my left cheek, smiling widely, oblivious of the mini heart attack she gave us, maybe she was used to be in protective arms of her father.

"You needed anything?" Riddhima asked.

"Yeah, I actually came to make myself a cup of coffee."

"Sorry, we don't have coffee powder right now. Actually no one drinks it regularly. here"

"Oh! That's okay"

No, it wasn't really okay because I needed at least one cup of coffee to kickstart my day. How am I going to survive a whole day without coffee?

"For now, you can have this." she said forwarding a cup towards me.

"No, thanks! You two have it, I'll manage" Though I was tempted to take it, I couldn't because I knew it was for her and Ridhvi.

"Don't be so formal please. She anyways can't finish it all by herself, she will be full just after few sips, we will share." Look who's talking about formalities. Riddhima. Who haven't even shared a knowing glance me with since yesterday, neither she looks in the mood too.

Anyways, I didn't deny her tempting offer second time because I really needed something to get rid off my sleepiness. I took the cup from her hand, mumbling a "thanks."

"Night you where?" Ridhvi questioned, turning my face towards herself with her left hand, her right hand wrapped loosely around my shoulder. Her eyes full of complaints. She had very expressive eyes, my second conclusion.

"Work!" I answered, unsure, looking back at Riddhima. She avoided looking at me.

"But..."

"Baby let's go to the room" Riddhima said, interrupting her.

"no..out on swing" she insisted, looking at me expectantly. I looked at her confused.

"They used to spend time at swing in the mornings." Riddhima supplied.

"Oh!" I said in realization, I had forgotten that I'm playing the role of her father here.

"Let's go" I said shifting her to my left arm, grabbing my cup in another hand.

"Yay papa!" she cheered, kissing on my right cheek this time.

She is affectionate, my third conclusion.

As we made our way towards the lawn, I noticed Riddhima going back to her room with a forlorn look on her face. I need to talk with her soon because every time Ridhvi calls me "papa" or treat me like one, I feel sad for her and burdened myself because I am not her father, can never be. Her father was Dev, and neither I can, nor I want to fill in that place of father in her life. She is better off me.

*

"One more sip?"

"No!"

"Just one more Ridhvi!"

"Noooo!"

"Acha, okay okay!"

As told by Riddhima, she was done in just two sips and was now busy in examining my hands. I guess she was fascinated by the rings on my fingers. I had two rings on my left hand and one on my right hand. She kept tracing their outlines with her little fingers, sometimes twisting them and then bringing them to their initial positions. I never thought that rings could be a thing to play with but then I rarely have kids around me so it's not my fault.

"Aditya!"

Ma called me. She looked like she was going somewhere, maybe the nearby Gurudwara. Within a flash, Ridhvi was out of my lap and besides ma, holding her hand, a jump in her steps while I looked on confused, feeling left out suddenly.

"Dadi...let's go"

"Actually Dev, her and me used to go to the Gurudwara daily. I didn't go since..You can join us, if you want." Ma cleared for me.

"Sure" I replied, quickly taking the last sip of my morning tea and making my way towards them.

"So you two had still continued this routine?" I asked her. Ridhvi was walking two steps ahead of us, happy in her own world.

"You remember?" she asked me surprised.

"Ofcourse, I do."

It was a ritual for us to go on mornings walk with her every day. Dev and I used to have an unsaid competition between us about who is going to wake up early and get ready first. Aditi never joined us because her sleep was very dear to her. She is sleeping beauty of our home. And the poor girl used to get many scolding's from our father because apparently it is girls who should be more religious and well-mannered than the men.

Ridhvi suddenly stopped walking, turning towards us.

"What happened Ridu?" Ma asked her. I looked on too, curious.

"Papa, tired" She answered me instead.

"So?"

"Pick me" she demanded, walking towards me.

"Why?" I still pretended to be clueless. She frowned, like I had asked her the most stupidest thing ever.

"Me tired" she repeated.

"Just a little more distance Ridu "

"No"

"Yes!"

"No Papa!"

"Yes, Ridhvi."

"Nooo!" she cried, ready to create a scene.

"Adi, pick her up." Ma said and she stopped crying at once.

She was pampered, my fourth conclusion.

"No Ma, she will walk on her own, right Ridhvi?"

And the water in her eyes was back. I wondered from where does she brings these tears immediately? I grinned, not affected by her tantrums. It was fun to tease her, for some reason. Maybe because she looked adorable while throwing tantrums.

"Arrey! Careful dear."

She suddenly stumbled, this is why walking backwards is never a good option. I stepped forward hurriedly, holding her on time before she could fell down completely. She cried, this time for real. I looked at Ma for help, I had no idea how to console a crying baby because I don't have encounters with kids every day. She had an amused smile on her face.

"Oh no baby, it's okay! You are fine. See nothing happened, relax, you are my strong bacha, aren't you?"

I tried cajoling her by hugging her tight, saying sweet nothings in her ears in the softest way possible for me, dropping a kiss at her forehead, trying to distract her with the surroundings around.

"What was so amusing for you?" I asked Ma when I had finally managed to calm down Ridhvi. She didn't get hurt anywhere, I had caught her on time, maybe shaken up by the little trip she had. She now had her head rested on my shoulder, her arms loosely wrapped around my neck.

"Nothing, I just remembered your childhood days. When Aditi used to accompany us sometimes, she also used to insist to get carried and you always denied and neither let Dev carry her, then she used to cry and Dev used to rush to her, ignoring all your threats of eating his share of chocolates" she laughed.

"I don't remember." I honestly didn't.

"Ofcourse why would you?" she remarked.

We walked in silence after that. Ridhvi was quiet too. She didn't respond to any of my questions. Did she got hurt somewhere? I hope not. Even at the gurudwara, she prayed silently. She was unusually quiet and calm.

She chooses silence to show her disinterest and anger, my fifth conclusion.

*

The breakfast was a silent affair, with only three of us. Riddhima and Ridhvi had not joined us again, as expected. I was going to my room after having breakfast when the voices from Riddhima's room intrigued me. I know eavesdropping is bad. This would be me second time eavesdropping their conversation and it has not even been twenty-four hours of my arrival yet. "Very bad Adi." my conscience mocked me, but I couldn't stop myself, not when I could possibly be the topic of the discussion.

"What happened to my shona. Where is my smiley Ridhvi?" Riddhima asked Ridhvi, tickling her.

"Don't know." she pushed her hands away, moving towards the other side of the bed.

"Why are you so quite princess? Did dada ji scolded you?" she asked Ridhvi, taking her in her lap, wrapping her arms around her. Ridhvi looked like she would cry any moment.

Ridhvi shaked her head in denial.

"No? then what happened?" Riddhima asked confused, her tone laced with worry.

"Papa no godi today, I cried, he laughed." And she burst out crying.

"I fell."

"No story with papa"

"Papa no love Ridhvi"

Ridhvi continued to complaint, and with her every complaint I felt more guilty.

"No beta don't cry please. Papa loves you, he loves you a lot."

Riddhima hugged Ridhvi tightly, cocooning her in her protective embrace. She consoled her while silently crying herself.

Suddenly she looked up, her eyes meeting mine. I took a step backward, drifting my eyes away from their frame. But she continued to look at me with accusation and hurt. Unable to meet her eyes, I silently left to my room with my head hung low in guilt and one thought in my mind that I had messed up big time, though unintentionally but I had.

*

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