guess who's hella depressed?

MEEEEE ! :D So I'm gonna write a sad-ass chapter for yall. About some of the shit that goes through my head.

Your trigger warning is right here so if you don't see it and get cheesed at me about not warning you, you're a fucking idiot.
⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️Do not read this chapter if you get heavily influenced by these oh so great actions ((heavy sarcasm)) that I shouldn't even be thinking about.⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

PROLOGUE ONLY APPLIES

You've lived with the Smith family for almost a year now. You tried your best to stay happy and push everything bad away from you but you just...you couldn't do it anymore. You couldn't push those horrible memories and those horrible thoughts away.

You've tried therapy.

Suggested coping mechanisms from your therapist.

Playing instrument(s) and softly singing to yourself along with them.

Doing things you loved to do.

Those things just didn't seem to be helping you anymore. You had one option you saved for last. Drinking.

But for the hell of it, you tried to avoid that. You wanted to try one last thing. You tried talking to Beth, Summer, and Morty. Of course not Jerry. But definitely not Rick. He doesn't really know that you're depressed but you can't bring yourself to actually open up your mind to him. You didn't know if Rick would: 1. take you seriously, 2. yell at you, 3. actually try to help you. So you just took him off the drawing board.

You've been in your room for nearly a week now. You didn't bother on going to school. The only times you left was to refill the water bottle you kept in there, to grab a small snack, or use the restroom. You don't remember the last time you ate a full meal. Beth and Morty tried consulting you to come out of your room. They tried making your favorite food, offering to go to your favorite places, all the things that will make you happy. But you stayed put.

There's something that would put a little smile on your face. Sometimes Morty would knock on your door. You'd know it was him because of how gently he would knock. You would let him in almost every time.

You'd be laying in your bed, as always, buried under your covers and your head resting on your tear stained pillow. When Morty came in, you would scoot over on the bed so he could lay down with you, and when he did, he would tell you stories. He'd tell you the stories of the adventures he had with Rick before the family took you in. Morty would also re-tell the stories of your favorite adventures with him and Rick. Morty would make you smile and laugh until you fell asleep right next to him. That way he knew you'd be okay.

Morty's POV

I gently closed (Y/n)'s door with tears filling up my eyes. "C-cmon, Morty! You--you need to be strong. Don't be such a wuss.." I mumbled to myself sliding down the door. "D-d-don't..be..." I broke. The tears--I couldn't stop them from falling. (Y/n) is dying in there and I can't do anything to help her! I don't know what would happen in this house if (Y/n) were to disappear and never come back. All the memories that we've made together, I can't just forget them! I can't forget (Y/n)! I'm not going to let her die in here.

I walked to my room and laid in bed rethinking how my night with (Y/n) went. Whenever I looked at her, it broke my heart in two. Her bright (e/c) eyes that I used to know looked so lifeless. She was so weak that she could barely move or talk. (Y/n) said something to me after I told her the story of how Rick and I raided an alien ship and nearly got killed. What she said made my gut turn. Her voice, barely sounding like her own, she told me, "You realize I'm willing to put my life on the line for you, right? For you and for the rest of your family." I didn't really know what to say after that. I just hugged (Y/n) for awhile and told her to get some rest.

~~

Rick brought me on an adventure that he promised would be quick. But here we are, three days later!! We were in the ship going god knows where now. I was hoping it would be home and of course, it wasn't. "Rick!! Please we need to get back home, now!!" I demanded. "Cmon, Morty! Just one more thing to--" "YOU SAID THAT TWO DAYS AGO, RICK! I-I-I CAN'T BE HERE I NEED--I NEED TO BE BACK HOME!!" (Y/n) didn't want me to tell Rick about what's going on with her, but I feel like I'm going to have to. "Listen, Morty!! If you're gonna bitch about our adventures like this, I-I-I'm not gonna take you on em! I'll take (Y/n) with me and you can sit at home and break your arm from jerking your dick too hard!!" Rick shouted trying to keep his eyes on where he was going. "I don't care about our stupid adventures, Rick!! I care about (Y/n)!! I care about my family!! I'm not---" "Wait woah woah woah woah. W-Wh-What's going on with (Y/n)? You--You and I haven't seen her in, what, a week?! Who gives a fuck on what she's doing. If she wanted to see us, she would've came back from where she is." My blood boiled and it made me snap. I told him everything. "Who gives a fuck?! WHO GIVES A FUCK?!! I DO!! I DO, RICK!! SHE'S DYING IN HER ROOM AS WE SPEAK A-A-AND I HAVEN'T BEEN HOME TO BE WITH HER TO MAKE SURE SHE'S OKAY! I WAS WITH HER EVERY DAY TRYING TO HELP HER HOLD ON TO WHAT LITTLE LIFE SHE HAS LEFT! SHE--SH-SHE'S NOT EATING, BARELY MOVING, AND BARELY COMMUNICATING. MOM AND I EVEN TRIED EVERYTHING TO HELP HER, BUT THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN, RICK. I'VE HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND I'M ONLY TRYING TO GO UP, BUT YOU?! YOU'RE DRAGGING ME DOWN EVEN DEEPER AND I'M NOT SITTING ON MY ASS WHILE SHE DIES RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME."

3rd POV

Rick's blood ran cold as Morty ranted to him. Morty was too busy ranting to notice that Rick was driving back to Earth as fast as he possibly could. Rick thought you just weren't feeling well, or you got sick of his adventures, or flat out--just sick of him! He got pissed about it. Rick wanted to talk to her about it but he thought, "why bother?" Another thing Rick thought was that his stash of alcohol was getting smaller by the day, but from what Morty was explaining, it all made sense.

It was 2:55 in the morning when Rick parked the ship in the garage nearly wrecking the house as he did so. Not caring if they woke anyone up, they raced into the house, up the stairs, and to your room.

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2:20 A.M

(Y/n) laid awake in bed, yet another sleepless night. Her thoughts raced as to where Morty's whereabouts could have been. The only person she had to talk to was that inner voice she had in her head. None of its whispers were good.

"He's not coming back. You drove him away."

"They'll never care about you. They gave up on you."

"Look at what you've done to yourself. Would they ever treat you the same?"

"They'll never love you the way you love them. Face it. You're nothing to them."

With every whisper, the tears in your eyes fell faster and faster. (Y/n) sat on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands, shaking. Her whole body was quivering and wanting to give out.

"You're not strong. You're barely even a person without them around."

"You don't matter to them anymore, why do you still reach out to them? They don't need you."

You slammed your fist into the wall creating a decent sized hole in the drywall. Bits of the wall cut your knuckles and you bled profusely. (Y/n) sobbed into her shaking knees mumbling to herself, "make it all go away, I can't do this anymore" over and over again. That's when that little voice gave you your idea.

"just go."

It whispered harshly. You had to muffle your sobs with a pillow knowing what you were about to do. You didn't hesitate to grab your journal, rip out a page, and begin writing your last goodbyes.

--/--/----  2:28 A.M.
To the Smith Family

Please, all I ask is please don't hate me for the decision I've come to make. But this is something of the past and you all know we need to let go of it. I had to let go of myself. I had to let myself fall because I couldn't stand up against what faced me. That spark I had went out because of all the rain that didn't show any signs of stopping.

These are my last words to all of you. Beth, don't you dare stop pursuing your dream in becoming a better surgeon. Not that you're a bad one!! Nono! Just keep pushing forward. I know you're the best damn surgeon in the world. Prove it to everyone. Summer, I know there's potential in you. You're smarter than you think you are. I know it for sure. Morty, thank you so much for staying with me and not giving up on me. ("Okay, now I'm just lying to him and myself." You sobbed as you paused writing for a moment.) You're capable of anything and everything, Morty. I love you, never ever forget that. Rick, the genius of all universes. I know damn well you can never give up on yourself like I did. You do anything you put your mind to and I admire that about you. Don't you dare change a bit. Jerry, I love ya but please for the name of all that is holy. Get a job.

I love each and every one of you, but what's the point starting a campfire in the middle of a storm? You can't do it and what would be the point of trying. Created only to burn out. Born to die. Just like me.

I love you with all my heart,
(Y/n) (l/n)

You ended up getting some of your tears on the paper making some of the words difficult to read. You left the note on your nightstand, carefully got up, and searched your room. You were about to give up when you realized it was under your bed. Your bottle of pills. You stood up and chugged the rest of the alcohol you had left. It was nearly impossible for you to do without coughing. It burned your throat and left your stomach feeling warm and bubbly. Just after that, you began to feel tired. It took you five minutes to open the bottle of pills because you could barely see and you had very little strength.

Looking around the room, you were remembering only the good times when you were truly happy with this family. You did it. You downed the whole bottle a bunch of the pills escaped your lips and fell to the floor.

"It's about fucking time."

That harsh voice whispered. You looked in the mirror one last time. The color in your skin was gone, you already looked lifeless. The color in your eyes looked grey. Your body looked so delicate that a paper cut could break your finger. "This isn't me.." you whispered through your tears. But you didn't care. Nobody was going to in the long run. You laid in your bed and you felt as if you were falling. You let your eyes close as you drifted away into the sleep you've been dreaming about.

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Rick attempted to open the door, it was locked. He cursed under his breath. Morty moved Rick aside and picked the lock with a spare paper clip he kept with him. "Nice job, Morty." Rick said quickly as he swung the door open. Morty turned on the light and immediately ran to your sleeping figure. "(Y/n)! (Y-Y-Y/n) oh my god I'm--I'm so sorry for not being home sooner!" Morty rambled about all this nonsense when Rick noticed something. There were pills scattered on the floor, then his eyes were drawn to something more important. The note on the nightstand. He read through it. Rick's heart broke a little more with every sentence. Tears wouldn't stop falling from his blue eyes as he read his part of the note over and over again. "Morty..." he didn't listen. "Morty!!" Morty snapped out of his rant and looked over to Rick. You could probably hear his heart shatter from the look on his face. "..no.. n-no no!!" Morty snatched the note and read it over. Morty began to start sobbing and put the note down on the nightstand.

"(Y-Y/n)!! Cmon y-y-you gotta wake up! Don't leave us here, god damnit!!" Morty pleaded as tears poured from his eyes. Morty got an idea turning to Rick. "W-We can still save her--right?!! We--w-w-we can help her!!!" Rick picked up the note. "I can't cure death Morty---" Rick noticed the time on the note. 2:28. There could still be time! Rick dropped the note and pushed Morty aside. Rick laid his head over (Y/n)'s heart. "She's still alive, Morty!!" Rick grabbed the covers off the bed, picked (Y/n) up, and rushed down to his lab. Morty followed nearly tripping over himself trying to get down the stairs.

Rick shoved everything off his workbench and carefully laid you down on it. "oh shit where did I put those fuckin things?!" Rick asked himself aloud as he thought hard for a few seconds. He had no idea why he has it, but he has Naloxone in his garage. Rick rummaged through a crate and found it. "If there's a God out there, please fucking help me out here." Rick panicked as he got the medicine into a needle and injected it into your arm. Tears were still pouring from his blue eyes. He was truly terrified. Along with Morty, he wad crying in the back of the room praying that you'd be okay. Rick held two fingers against your neck checking your pulse. Luckily, it was a little bit faster. He checked to make sure you were breathing. "R-R-Rick? Is she gonna be okay?" Morty choked out. "If there's a god, then yes. All we have to do is wait and hope this works."

Rick put his elbows on the workbench and buried his face in his hands. "If we came home sooner, like I said, then this wouldn't have happened." Rick thought to himself. Now he understood why Morty was so jumpy the whole time. He felt horrible. Wiping his tears from his eyes, he took a long sip from his flask. Morty was still sobbing in the back of the room. His eyes were red and puffy, as were Rick's. Rick stood up and walked over to Morty holding out his hand. As soon as he stood up, Rick gave him a hug. "I know you really care about (Y/n). I'm sorry for being a douchebag and not bringing you home..I never thought she was like this." Morty stayed silent for a second. "She--she didn't want to tell you. She thought y-y-you wouldn't care or s-something like that." Rick didn't show it but he felt a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't respond.

About 20 minutes later, they heard coughing. (Y/n) sat up really fast and threw up on the floor. "(Y/N)!!!" Rick and Morty ran over and embraced her. (Y/n) was confused as she looked around the room. "am I..am I dead..?" she mumbled. "No!! N-No you're okay every--everything's gonna be okay!!" Morty sobbed into your shirt and Rick's silent tears fell. "Don't ever do that again, (Y/n)." Rick told you in a shaky voice. "Don't try to leave us again." Rick hugged you tighter and you began to cry. "No!! I'm not supposed to be here!!" You screamed in your head. You looked at Morty seeing how pale he was. He looked terrified and you felt horrible. You looked at Rick and saw every ounce of pain in his eyes. You began to sob even more as you hugged both of them. "I'm so sorry.." your broken voice filled the room. They didn't say anything. All they did was hug you and not let go until you stopped crying.

Rick suggested that you ate something so you just ate a few granola bars. You didn't want to get sick again. Rick hugged you and kissed the top of your head, not in any weird way, and told you to be careful. He went off to the garage to clean it up.

Morty wanted you to sleep in his room for the night, not in a sexual way or anything. He was just worried about you trying to kill yourself again. Morty scooted over on his bed so you could lay down. "(Y-Y/n)?" You hummed in response staring at the ceiling. "Please-- d-don't hurt yourself again.." he gently held your hand that had bloody, scabbed up knuckles from punching your wall. "You mean a lot to me, yknow? M-my family needs you here-- I need you here. It may seem like we've given up but--but believe me when I say we haven't." You hugged him and buried your face in his chest crying softly. Morty hugged you back and gently patted your shoulder. "It'll all be okay, (Y/n). I promise."

I'm sorry for the sad chapter, I'm having a rough few days. I'm also sorry if some things don't make sense, I was up all night writing.

Have a nice day and don't be like me :)