Fuckity fucking fuckery fuck.

What the actual fuck did I do.

"Levi, you okay?" Eren's finger caressed my cheek while speaking. His voice was soft and sleepy, his eyes half way closed as he cuddled into my hand into the pillow underneath us.

"Peachy." I replied, looking to the side at the maroon wall to my left. He hummed in response, lazily pulling me closer into his chest. I wrinkled my nose up at the smell of sweat rolling from our skin. It smelt of sex in the room and it made me wanna lean over and throw up before taking the longest shower of my life. It didn't smell like it used to after sex, due to new body parts, and I wasn't enjoying it all too well at the moment.

"Why are you squirming?" He mumbled, closing his eyes, resting his forehead against the side of my head. He was breathing softly against my sweaty skin, which usually would have felt nice and gave me the chills, but this time it just made me want to get out of bed quicker and get the smell of sex off from me.

"No reason, just wanting to take a shower." I wasn't much of an after sex cuddler. He grunted, loosening his arm that was around my waist, moving to to lay on his back.

"Let's go then." He replied, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, no no, it's okay, I like to shower by myself." I answered probably a little too quickly, but I really was not in the mood to be crushed in the shower, especially when we were both this disgusting.

He looked over me, raising an eyebrow before nodding, laying back down. "I got you. I'll take one afterwards."

I nodded even though he wasn't looking anymore, quickly sitting up and getting off the bed, grabbing whatever clothes I saw first in my dresser, ducking into the bathroom before his eyes lingered too long on my naked body. I threw my clothes on the counter and looked at myself in the mirror after turning the shower water on.

Sighing, I pushed my hair back from my forehead, frowning at the new forming acne there. I knew what that meant, my time of the month again already. Has it already been a month?

I rolled my eyes, looking farther down at myself through the mirror. I had bruises on my shoulders and throat from earlier, they were red and slowly turning blue. I still had finger nail prints on my hips and thighs, turning rather bright red and I wasn't gonna be surprised if they were bruising as well.

I knew very well last night felt like a good idea, and that I should make that choice over and over again every night. But I also knew that it was a horrible decision. I knew I wasn't ready for that, I knew I wanted to wait before letting him see me like that. But now it's too late, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I can't take it back, so do I just let it go on and happen more?

It was dumb, it was just sex. Before, I wouldn't have given a shit who I slept with. If I had a good time, that's all that would have mattered to me. Why am I suddenly caring so much now? Is it the new body I'm so worried about, is it... is it Eren?

I shook my head, chuckling drying at my reflection. That was a stupid thought. Eren's just a kid who I enjoy spending time with, I'm not whipped over some kid. Definitely not.

Rolling my eyes at my reflection and bruises, I hopped in the shower and quickly washed the smell of sex and sweat from my skin. I rolled my head back and closed my eyes, scrubbing my chest with a wash cloth. I sighed loudly, licking over my lips.

I fucked up. But why did that fuck up feel so fucking good? The way his hands felt on my hips, the way his lips felt on neck and lips, the way his tongue felt on me.

I didn't realize how my hand traveled down my chest and down my stomach before I felt my fingers between my legs. My lips parted, my head rolling farther back until it rested on the shower wall, a small sigh escaping my lips.

My fingers slowly pushed themselves inside me, moving slowly. I whispered a quiet explicit swear. I was so distracted, I didn't realize the light knocking on the door, Eren calling my name out.

"Levi? You okay, you've been in there for awhile."

I ignored him, hiking my leg up on the curb of the tub wall. I kept my eyes closed, and head rolled back as my fingers picked up the pace a little. Small pants coming from my lips, I could feel my face turning red.

"Levi?" I heard him whisper, sounding surprised. He sounded close. I opened an eye to glance at the door and saw the brunette standing in the door frame, door wide open, his green eyes looking at me. I forgot to lock the door; shit.

My eyes widened, my hand freezing where it was. "Uh."

His eyes looked over my body and stopped once they reached my hand. His tongue slowly wiping over his lips, taking a step closer. "You need some help?"

No, I really fucking don't. "Yeah. Yeah, I do." Fuck you, Levi.

He nodded firmly, closing the door shut before quickly striding over to me with all his naked glory, quickly stepping into the shower and going straight down on to his knees. I shook my head at myself, I really just fuck everything up.

His hand quickly found my hip, pulling me closer to his face, slapping my hand away from myself. He threw my leg over his shoulder before moving his mouth closer to me and between my legs. I scrunched my face up when I felt him, sighing loudly.

I knew very well this was a horrible mistake, but it felt so fucking right at the same time. Why the fuck do I keep doing this kinda shit? Why can't I just push him away and tell him to buzz off like I used to? Why was I suddenly having the hardest time doing such a little task like that?

My own loud groan interrupted my own thoughts, my eyes going back to him, he glanced up at me between my own legs and I could just feel him smirking against me.

"Oh fuck," I whispered before letting myself go, gripping onto his hair tightly, panting loudly with my eyes closed tightly together.

He moaned against me, not moving until my hips stopped shaking and twitching. He backed his face away from me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You taste good."

I rolled my eyes, sighing softly, putting my shaky leg back down on the shower floor. "For fuck sake." I whispered, blinking a few times as he stood up.

"Looks like we may as well shower together." He muttered, putting his hands on the wall, caging my head between his arms, smirking down at me.

I clenched my teeth together, so temped to kiss him on get on my knees and return the favor but fuck. I knew I just needed to leave the bathroom. I needed to just leave his sight for a while.

"Eren, I-" I was beginning a shit excuse to leave but his lips quickly interrupted me. I made a weird sound of surprise, my hands gripping onto his shoulder as a reflex.

I started to kiss back and let my eyes shut, before reality hit me and I quickly mustered up the energy to push him away, nearly falling on my ass as I just basically jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel on my way and out the door to the bedroom.

I knew he was probably really confused at my sudden absence but I also knew he wouldn't abandon his shower when he was that smelly. He knew I liked him clean. Unless of course it was a good kind of dirty...

Shut the fuck up, Levi.

I groaned, grabbing an extra paid of underwear, pants and a random shirt and threw them on to myself. I bounded out of the bedroom, drying my hair on the way, trying to get it as dry as I could before passing the laundry room, throwing the damp towel in the hamper.

I stomped into the kitchen, slamming open the fridge and grabbing a water bottle. I all but tore off the lid, taking a huge gulp of the clear liquid before leaning over and coughing it back up to swallow it correctly. I was angry with myself, I felt like I had no control over myself anymore.

It wasn't Eren's fault, in a sense. It's my own fault I'm like this, but Eren's fault he has this effect on me. I just wanted to feel like I was in control of my actions again, like I used to be. Losing control over myself wasn't necessarily a bad thing, maybe not to others anyway, but for me it was too different and I wasn't sure if I wanted anything to do with it.

"Levi?" I heard Eren whisper my name, peaking his head around the corner to look at me. He was shirtless, his pants barely buttoned up and his hair was soaked. He wore a worried look on his face. "Are you okay?"

I pursed my lips, trying not to squeeze the water bottle as hard as I could. I nodded slowly, looking away from him and at my feet. "Yea, I'm good. Was just thirsty."

I heard him scoff quietly, easing himself into the kitchen, but keeping his respectful distance from me. "Is it something I did?"

I rolled my eyes at my feet, biting at my lip. I raised my head up to look at him, and ran my hand through my hair, sending him a shrug. "I have no fucking clue what's going on."

His eyebrows furrowed, rubbing his bicep and looked confused. "Is there something I can do to help?"

I couldn't help but glare at him, parting my lips in disbelief. "Is that a sexual kind of question? Trying to get in my pants once again?"

His eyes widened, and he took a step back and shook his head. "Wh-what? No, Levi, why would I do that?"

I couldn't help being angry, I knew it wasn't what he meant but I couldn't control it.

"Hasn't stopped you the other three times, might as well push me against the counter and fuck me silly until I'm crying. Is that all you care about now?" I spat out, moving my hands while talking, not giving a shit about the water spilling from the bottle.

He shook his head, raising his hands up in disbelief, laughing quietly. "Where the fuck did that even come from? We had sex once and you clearly enjoyed it, didn't you?"

I scoffed at him, throwing my water bottle towards the sink, not caring about the mess it left. "That's all you seem to care about now, I'm not some toy you can just play with whenever you feel like it."

Eren ran both hands through his hair, backing out of the kitchen slowly, but not leaving completely. It was obvious he didn't know where to go or what to say. "That's not true and you know it. If that's really how you feel, I just won't touch you again. Is that what you want?"

No Levi, you do not want that.

I nodded once, glaring at him, crossing my arms across my chest. "Yes, that's what I want."

He spat out a laugh, turning around and leaving the room. A moment later and I could hear the front door slamming closed. I sighed, closing my eyes and sitting down on the kitchen floor. I hit my forehead once before rolling my head back and resting it on the cabinets.

He left without a damn shirt, too.

It's really late, I'm sorry. This is just an awful filler chapter. But I mean hey, there's some angst. I'm bad at angst, I'm sorry.

I'm thinking about getting this story finished, (not necessarily any time soon), and then maybe start a short story Vampire AU? Or should I finish The Cursed Seas? Idk, help meee.

I'll try to have the next chapter up by the end of this month. No promises. ); leave feedback!