***
Luke hushed me and I pulled my head back and looked up into his eyes.
"I know." I said bluntly. "What?" Luke was confused.

"Luke, I fucking know about that kiss Jai had . You's hardly think I wouldn't find out."

***

"How do you know?"

"You left on your FaceTime on one time and I heard you's talking about it. Why didn't he just tell me?!"

"Would you be pissed at him for what he's done?" Asked Luke.

"No! He was drunk and you don't just break up if some accidents happen, well, not in this situation anyways!" I added in
"Is that seriously the reason he didn't come? Because of that stupid mistake with that slut?"

"He thought you'd be pissed that he kissed Ariana and he was scared! He couldn't even think of you without crying!"

"So yeah, that's the reason he didn't come?"

Luke took a deep breath. "Yes." "Sorry for not saying anything, I feel really bad."

A tear slipped down my face and I knew there was much more to come but I didn't care. I will have panda eyes within a few minutes.

"It's okay. I'm just really pissed that's the reason he didn't come." I stood up and sighed. Luke then stood up and wiped the tears away from my eyes. I grabbed my phone and looked at Luke.

"I'm going to call him." Luke nodded his head and gave me a soft smile.

*Ring,Ring

*Ring,Ring

*Ring,Ring

*Ring,Ring

*Ring,Ring

*Ring,Ring

*Ring,Ring

"Please leave your message after the tone" the annoying voice which I became far too familiar with said.

I lost it. Absolutely lost it. I stormed outside and to the top of my garden, into the shed so my parents wouldn't hear me. I could hear Luke following and running up close to me so I locked the door soon as I got inside.

"Amy, please come out! Please!" Luke was banging on the door hard and I wouldn't be surprised if the door came off the hinges.

"Give me a few minutes." I said as I scrolled down my contacts list. Luke was talking so quickly and saying so much to get me to come out now but that's not going to happen. I found the contact I wanted.

Beau Job :))

I silently laughed when I seen the name because I gave him my phone to type his details into and he hates when I call him that.
I clicked his number and put my phone to my ear. It didn't ring much until he picked up.

"Hey what's up!!!"

"Are you by yourself?" I heard shuffling and then he came back onto the phone.

"Yeah I'm by myself now, I was with the boys watching tv."

"Can you tell that dick to pick up his fucking phone please!? He never answers his fucking phone!"

"What happened? Why are you so pissed at him? He won't tell us anything about why he isn't going over to you in Ireland."

"He didn't tell you? Oh ha you know what he did? He kissed his fucking ex Whoriana, that's what he fucking did an-"

"HE DID WHAT!? I'm going to break his fucking jaw!" Beau shouted and I heard him moving quickly, as if he was going to Jai at this very moment.

Luke was an animal at the door shouting and banging. He stopped and I heard him slide down the door. I was also sitting on the ground on the opposite side of the door to him.

"Beau don't you fucking touch him! He was drunk and I got over it, the thing is that he hid it from me the whole time and he isn't coming to Dublin because of that. Beau, I really miss him." I was crying so hard at this stage.

"Hey, hey don't cry babe." His voice softened as he tried to calm me down. All of a sudden I couldn't catch my breath as if I was chocking, felt nauseous, was shaking like mad and I burst out crying uncontrollably. I was having a panic attack.

"Ok Amy breath in and out okay? Come on you can do it." Beau said. I stood up and concentrated on what Beau was saying. I hate panic attacks so fucking much. No one gives a shit about me. My boyfriend kissed another girl and won't face me now and visit. I mean, why would he want to be with me anyways? I'm useless, worthless, ugly, fat and I bet everyone just hates the guts of me. I'm not good enough for anyone and never will be. I should just die already for fuck sake.

All of a sudden, a fist went through the door and Luke unlocked the latch and came in swiftly. He hugged me and calmed me down with Beau on the line too. I was rocking back and forth on the ground and cried a small bit.

"Amy?" The voice on my phone said.

My face lit up instantly, I was a complete mess.

"JAI!!!" I screamed into the phone.

Beau probably told Jai I was having a panic attack, Jai is the only one who knows about them and my depression and anxiety. Well, the only one who had known, now the brothers are aware and maybe James and Skip, knowing my fucking luck.

"Jai I miss you so fucking much I would never want to end our relationship over a shitty kiss I love you so fucking much and I couldn't imagine my life without you, babe please come over!"

Luke and I were in the corner of the shed, hugging each other so tightly.

"I love you so much, I was just terrified and I was scared to tell you. I'm so sorry. So so sorry baby. I'm the cause of that panic attack you had too, i hate myself so much. I'm ruining your life." Jai said quietly. I had it on speaker.
Jai was also crying, I knew he was by the sound of him and I don't mind that at all. It shows he's real and isn't afraid to express his emotions.

"Don't you EVER say that again, you hear me? You're one of the only reasons I'm not dead by now to be honest. Don't hate yourself Jai. Please babe. Just don't. Please, please, please come over." I begged as my voice went all weird and I sobbed like crazy.

I was looking at Luke as I said that into my mobile. Luke's face dropped when I mentioned that Jai is one of the only reasons I'm not dead and his eyes became really watery but I wiped his little tears away with my sleeve. I gave him a weak smile and listened to Jai on the phone.

"I can't babe, the flights to Dublin are completely sold out until the 20th of January and your back in school on the 7th. I'm so sorry. I miss you so much. I'm so stupid."

"So I won't see you for another good while until I'm off for at the very least two weeks again?"

"Probably. Fuck that's so long! That's like Easter or Summer break!" I could hear him getting even more upset so I calmed him down with some soothing words.

Luke started talking then as he's been quiet for most of the time trying to comfort me and Jai as we were currently two big knotted balls of stress. I honestly don't know how he done it but Luke actually made us both a little bit more happier.

When we got off the phone I redone my hair quickly as it was a mess and found tissue to wipe away most of the make up as its a mission to completely remove it in one attempt, as us girls know. I gave Luke a few tissues to wipe his eyes and blow his nose with because he was crying before aswell.

"Amy, I'm really really sorry for not telling you about the kiss. We're twins and we've always promised to keep the secrets we have told each other well.. A secret. I couldn't tell on him. I just couldn't. I wouldn't do that to him."

"I understand. It's okay. Let's just forget about this. We'll go inside and watch a film or something yeah?" Luke just nodded his head and followed me inside the house.

A.N- this is so sadddddd😭😭😭 Anyways, remember to vote and comment!!! I wanna see how much active readers I have😝