My eyes fluttered open as light seeped in through the gaps in the curtains. What day was it? But then it didn't really matter. To me, it was like it was the same day and I was just drifting in and out of sleep like I was in limbo. 

I rolled over to my side and saw that D.O was there again. He had fallen asleep with his arms folded in front of him as a pillow. I observed his sleeping face, his straight lashes were long and pretty as they framed his eyelids. His heart-shaped lips and pale skin made him look like a sweet angel-- a cherub perhaps. He sighed softly as he continued to sleep peacefully on the edge of my bed. He had been doing this a lot lately but I've lost track of how long it's been.

Ever since the incident, I hadn't been able to sleep alone in the dark.

Whenever I closed my eyes, Ryuk's scary smile appeared like his picture was forever engraved on the back of my eyelids. I would scream out and be panting in cold sweat and D.O would try to calm me down by holding me in his arms and rocking me back and forth. It had happened so often that D.O had taken it upon himself to stay by my side until I fell asleep.

I turned to him now and saw that he had bags under his eyes. I felt bad for him. He had been very kind to me by staying by my side every night, after rehearsals, and even taking charge of the housekeeping duties while I stayed in bed. I tried to get up and do housework-- get back to my usual routine-- but I couldn't. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was constantly feeling lethargic and I didn't have an appetite. It had also been a long time since I had last ventured outside the dorm.

D.O must have felt me stirring in my bed because suddenly, his eyes flitted open too. He got up and blinked a couple of times as he tried to find his bearings. Upon seeing me awake, he smiled. "Good morning, Nami-ah."

"Good morning" I greeted him back.

He stretched his arms over his head and proceeded to shake his body awake. His body must have been stiff from lying down in the same position all night. Once he was done, he got up and said, "I'm going to make breakfast now. Do you want to go downstairs with me?" He looked at me hopefully.

I shook my head. "Not today" I mumbled weakly.

D.O gave me a small smile, "Okay. I'll come up later with your meal" he replied, before closing the door behind him.

After he had left, I rolled over on my bed and searched for my phone. I looked at the calendar and finally realised that it had been a month since the incident. A month since I last stepped foot outside; a month since I had last spoken properly to anyone, apart from D.O.

I let out a sigh as I tried to motivate myself to do something different today. I couldn't keep staying in bed and leaving everything to D.O and the other EXO members. It's already been a month. I was stronger now. I had to start making an effort again.

It was time I spoke to Chanyeol.

I remembered how hard it was in the beginning. Straight after the incident, I hadn't been able to look at him in the eye. I just felt so dirty. On the following morning of the incident, I had inspected myself by accident in the mirror and saw that I had bruises on my neck from where Ryuk had tainted me with his kisses. They were ugly and blue and I didn't want Chanyeol to see. I was ashamed of myself and I was afraid that he wouldn't accept me now that I had been defiled by another man.

In frustration, I had scrubbed my skin raw to get rid of the marks but, no matter how hard I tried, I still felt dirty and impure. D.O would often come rushing up to me and to hold me as I broke down in the bathroom floor, covering me in a towel as he held me close while the water poured over our heads. He was the only one I was able to talk to without feeling embarrassed or ashamed of myself. He was the only one I could trust.

Suho had visited me once, in my room. He had informed me that Ryuk had been arrested and that the case was closed. He had ensured that no one would know what happened to me and I had received justice. But it became a taboo subject in the dorm. No one would speak of it and the others tried to be considerate of me by giving me space.

I had overheard Xiumin say once to Suho that he wanted to get me professional help as I wasn't eating properly but, I had protested and told them that it wasn't necessary.

I didn't need help as I was stronger than this; I would eventually get better; I wasn't weak; I could handle it. But the problem was, I was only human and humans have weaknesses.

I hoisted myself up and got out of my bed, my legs were like jelly as I tottered to gain balance. I staggered towards the mirror on the wall and saw how deathly pale I looked. I had hollows on my cheeks and my eyes were heavy-lidded with dark circles. 

To put it simply, I looked terrible. 

I hobbled over to the door and hesitated in front of it. I hardly ever left my room apart from when I needed to use the bathroom so, it would be the first time in a while since I had joined the others in the living room downstairs.

I took a deep breath. Today's the day, I told myself.

I opened the door.

"How's Little Umma?" I heard someone ask from downstairs. It sounded like Kai.

"She's doing a little better today" D.O replied.

"Do you think she'll come to rehearsals today? I really miss seeing her. And I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss eating her homemade lunches too."

D.O paused. I imagined him shaking his head. "I don't think she's ready to set foot outside yet, Kai."

"That's a shame" Kai's voice sounded disappointed.

"I can make lunch for us if you like."

Kai mumbled. "It's not the same..."

I quickly went back inside my room, a wave of guilt washing over me as I tried to process what I just overheard. I felt bad for the EXO members. All this time they had been very considerate of me even when I had been neglecting my duties as their dorm mother. I was meant to be looking after them not, the other way round.

"I have to get my act together!" I told myself resolutely.

I had decided. Today was the day I was going to take my first step back into society.

~*~

The sun felt warm against my skin as I hopped off the bus and made my way towards SMHQ. It had been a long time since I had made lunch for the EXO members so I hoped that my cooking skills hadn't deteriorated while I had been indisposed. 

After the EXO members had left the dorm, I had forced myself to go downstairs and prepare their lunch. It had been a while since I had been in the kitchen so I wasn't sure of what ingredients were available. I finally decided on making sandwiches since there weren't many options in the first place.

I braced myself as I approached SMHQ, my heart palpitating as I spotted someone standing outside the entrance. It was a security guard. Warily, I approached the entrance, fighting the urge to turn tail and run and then I noticed that it was a new guy. I breathed a sigh of relief as I hastily went inside, not bothering to greet him. As soon as I entered, some of the SM staff, that I had befriended, welcomed me back like a hero.

"Omo, Minami-ssi. Long-time no see!" a receptionist greeted me. "Are you feeling better now? We heard that you've been ill for the past month."

"Yes, unnie. I'm feeling better now" I replied, grateful that no one seemed to know the truth. "But I'm still recovering."

I made my way upstairs to where the EXO members were likely to be, glad that I had mustered up the courage to go out of the dorm again. As I neared the entrance of the dance studio, I peeped through the circular windows on the doors and saw that it was only Chen and Baekhyun inside. The others must be either in the changing rooms or out doing their individual activities.

I was about to push the doors open when I suddenly overheard their conversation.

"Chanyeol's lucky" Baekhyun began. "He got the main lead role in that Chinese film."

Chen agreed, "Yeah. It's definitely going to boost his popularity up." But then he frowned, "Do you know if he's told Nami-ah yet?"

Baekhyun shook his head. "No. I don't think so. He's leaving at the end of the week and he still hasn't told her."

My eyes widened in surprise. Chanyeol was leaving for China? When did this happen? It had been so long since I last spoke to him that I wasn't even aware of what was happening in his life anymore.

"He needs to tell her soon" Chen replied. "Although, I don't know how he's going to do that since it's been ages since they had last spoken to each other."

Baekhyun sighed, "Things aren't looking well for Chanyeol and Little Umma..." he looked at the ceiling as if in thought. "But it surprises me that they've lasted this long."

Chen was curious. "Why do you say that?"

"Because I had my suspicions that Chanyeol and Little Umma weren't really dating."

I was shocked. Was Baekhyun always this sharp?

Chen answered. "How can you say that when they've been together for a while now? Chanyeol wouldn't date Nami-ah if he didn't like her."

"But that's the thing" Baekhyun replied. "What if he didn't like her in the beginning and only asked her out because of the bet? The bet for ten thousand won--"

The doors burst open as I pushed my way through. 

Chen and Baekhyun turned to my direction and their faces froze, startled at my sudden appearance. 

My cheeks felt hot as I glared at the two of them. "What bet?" I demanded.

Chen and Baekhyun exchanged looks with each other as they gulped in fear.

I had endured all that pain and suffering for a month and all this time to Chanyeol I was just... a bet?

~*~

Author's Note:

Hi reader! Thank you for reading chapter 41 of Our Little Dorm Mother.

*gasps*

The drama continues...