I had started to notice things about Seoho that I never had before in all of my years of being his friend. I didn't want to believe it, so I denied it. No matter how many times it made itself known to me, I buried it. Seoho was straight. I was... straight. Two straights couldn't make a couple. Yet no matter how much I denied it, I couldn't fight the urges. The urge to make excuses to be near him, touch him, flirt with him.

I didn't go that night sometime in November. I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if I went. I didn't want to lose my best friend. Despite not having gone to the playground, Seoho had come to me. My heart swelled. He had come all this way to see me. I don't know how long I hugged him, but it was long enough that my mother had to interject.

We talked in my room and I avoided talking about my crush. Seoho then suddenly brought up that he had a crush on someone too. My heart shattered that night. I couldn't look at him. I chased him out of my home. I didn't know that I had terribly hurt him that night to the point he didn't go home. I had found him fast asleep in an alleyway hugging his bag close the following morning.

Guilt had eaten away at me despite Seoho saying everything was fine. Things weren't. He was obviously upset with me and would hide it behind his bright smile. Though, it would be that night that neither of us would forget.

We had met up at our usual time and sat on the jungle gym that time around. We mostly sat in silence until Seoho brought up problems he was having. They were pretty small and manageable. Then came the big one. He wanted to kiss his crush but didn't know how to approach it. He was asking me. My heart shattered into tinier pieces then. I had told him the ideal way I would have preferred to be kissed.

Atop that jungle gym, I had shared my first kiss with Seoho, my best friend and crush. My mind swirled and came up with many possibilities as to why he did it. He pulled away and I took that opportunity to ask. His answer surprised me. I never would've thought he was crushing on me. He never made any moves nor showed signs. We ended up spending the night at the playground.