TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of Rape. Death.

"Bakit hindi n'yo sinabi sa akin?"

Kalmado kong tanong kay Mommy. She whispered something to her boyfriend making him walk away from us.

"Darling, I'm sorry. I forgot. Ayaw mo ba? Ayaw mo bang ikaw ang mag handle ng business ng Daddy mo?" Sagot n'ya sa akin at ngumiti ng bahagya.

Sigh.

Umiling nalang ako out of disbelief and disappointment. My Dad runs a clothing business. How can I handle that? I suck at fashion. I'm a graduating psychiatrist tapos ipapa-handle sa akin ay clothing business? Gosh.

I flinched when someone held my shoulder from the back. Nilingon ko 'yun at nakita ko si Razer.

"May I talk to Sabriana?" Paalam n'ya kay Mommy.

"Sure! Sure!" My Mom immediately gestured us to go.

Razer bowed and pulled me away gently. Tama lang para sumunod ako sa kan'ya. We stopped sa harap ng isang babae at lalaki. Si Mr. and Mrs. Dela Vega.

"This is your ring," Mrs. Dela Vega said and gave us a little red box.

Kukuhanin ko na sana 'yon pero naunahan ako ni Razer. Binuksan n'ya 'yun at sumilip ako kahit mahirap dahil matangkad s'ya. It was a pair of an engagement ring.

"But.. these are yours," Razer muttered.

Mrs. Dela Vega chuckled and hugged her husband. "Yes! That's why we're giving it to you! It's our gift! Come on, wear it!"

Razer secretly scratched the back of his head before getting one of the ring. Nagulat ako nang bigla itong lumuhod sa harap 'ko.

Isu-suot na sana n'ya sa akin 'yung singsing pero napatigil s'ya dahil kay Mr. Dela Vega.

"Say it, Razer," Mr. Dela Vega calmly said.

I heard Razer's sigh. Tumingin s'ya sa akin at ngumiti, though it's fake. I know it's fake.

"Will you.. marry me?" He said.

I didn't know what to do or what to respond until he eyed me. His eyes are like telling me to just say 'yes' so I did.

"Y-Yes," I answered at pagka-tapos ay sinuot n'ya sa akin ang singsing.

Sinuot n'ya ang singsing sa sarili n'ya at nagulat ako nang yakapin kami ni Mrs. Dela Vega.

"Such cuties! Alright, we'll be going," Mrs. Dela Vega said and left us.

Nang maka-layo si Mrs. Dela Vega, pinag masdan 'ko ang singsing sa daliri 'ko. It looks old but it also looks expensive. Medyo hindi na s'ya makinang pero 'yung bato, naroon pa rin. What if i-sangla ko nalang ito at iwan na si Razer? Siguro sapat na iyon para mai-salba ang kumpanya namin.

"Let's get out of here,"

Napa-lingon ako kay Razer nang mag salita s'ya. Tumalikod s'ya sa akin at nag lakad paalis. Agad ko naman s'yang sinundan hanggang sa napunta kami backyard nila.

Umupo ako sa may bench ay hinubad ang heels ko. Wala namang tao rito so no need to be professional or something.

"Ugh, this feels better," I muttered.

Nilapag ko sa baba ang heels 'ko at umupo ng angel seat since mahaba naman ang dress ko. Naramdaman kong umupo rin s'ya sa tabi ko kaya napa-lingon ako sa kan'ya.

"So.. what's it for you?" Tanong 'ko at humalumbaba habang naka-tingin sa kan'ya. Alam kong nai-tanong ko na ito sa kaniya kahapon pero wala naman siyang isinagot sa akin na matino.

Lumingon naman ito sa akin. "Huh?"

I shrugged. "You know, how did they made you agree to this.. this engagement thing?"

Napa-tango naman s'ya at tumingin sa harap. "Pasasalamat sa kanila," he shrugged. "For taking care of my sister,"

My brows furrowed. I wanted to ask why pero ang personal naman na ata no'n so hindi nalang ako nag salita.

"You're a psychiatrist right?"

Bumalik ang tingin 'ko kay Razer nang mag tanong s'ya. "Not yet, but soon. Why?" Tanong 'ko.

Umiling s'ya. "I hope someday you can treat my sister," bulong n'ya pero narinig 'ko pa rin.

"Uhm.. can I ask?" Tanong 'ko. Tumango naman s'ya. "What happened?"

His eyes fixed on me. I can see anger and sadness in his eyes. "She was raped by our father," he sighed. "She got traumatized and we've been in a lot of psychiatrists and psychologists. All of them gave up," now his eyes are full of pain.

Hindi 'ko alam ang gagawin 'ko. This is so unexpected. Lumapit nalang ako sa kan'ya at tinapik s'ya sa balikat.

"Don't worry. She'll be fine. I also hope someday, I can treat her. But let's also hope na kapag psychiatrist na ako ay magaling na siya," I smiled at him. An assuring smile.

Biglang nawala ang lungkot sa mata n'ya. Nagulat ako nang ngumiti rin s'ya pero hindi gaano.

"Sana. I miss her old self," he sighed. "That bastard. Pagbabayaran n'ya ang ka-hayupang ginawa n'ya kay Agatha," galit n'yang saad.

Hindi na ako nag salita dahil ayaw 'ko namang maki-sali. Baka sensitive part din sa kan'ya 'yun. Sumandal nalang ulit ako sa bench at tumingin sa langit.

"You love her so much, do you?" Tanong 'ko habang naka-tingin sa mga bituin. "Agatha,"

Naramdaman 'kong sumandal din s'ya. "More than anyone in this fucked up world. She's all that I have left," sagot nito.

I somehow smiled. "I miss my sister," I whispered as I look at the brightest star. I reached my right arm up high, as if I can get the star. "Sam," I whispered.

I felt his hands on my left hand. He squeezed it. "She's in a peaceful and safe place, Sab," sabi n'ya.

"Yeah, I know," I answered. Sinandal n'ya ang ulo ko sa balikat n'ya. Suddenly, my last memory with Samara flashed back to me.

** flashback **

"Ate!" Naka-ngiting sambit ni Sam nang makita n'ya akong umuwi galing school.

I looked at my 16 years old baby sister before going inside the house to give her a hug. She's already sixteen but she's still addicted to my hugs. Tuwing uuwi ako ay naka-abang na agad siya para yumakap.

"Kaibigan ko nga lang s'ya!"

"Hindi ka man lang nahiya sa mga anak mo?!"

Napa-tingin kami ni Sam sa taas nang marinig namin si Mommy at Daddy na nag sisigawan. Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Sam nang mag simulang tumunog ang digital watch n'ya na pang monitor ng heartbeat n'ya.

"Hey, Samara. Calm down. Wait here, okay? Yaya! Please get Sam a glass of water," I said before tapping Sam's head at nag lakad pa-akyat ng kung nasaan si Mommy at Daddy.

Nang maka-akyat, nadatnan 'ko si Daddy na naka-hawak sa sentido n'ya habang si Mommy naman ay nanlilisik ang mata sa akin.

But I didn't flinched a bit. I know why they're fighting.

"Can you please lower your voices? Sam can hear you! You know her heart is fragile!" I told them.

Mom was about to say something but a voice echoed inside our house.

"SIR! MA'AM! SI SAMARA HO!"

Agad akong tumakbo pababa. Halos malaglag pa ako sa hagdan pero wala akong paki. Ang nasa isip 'ko lang ay ang tanong na 'Anong nangyari kay Sam?!'

Nang maka-lapit ay nakita 'ko si Sam na naka-hilata sa sahig habang pinipilit huminga ng ayos. Mom was about to touch her but I didn't let her.

"Call an ambulance or get the car ready! For goodness sake don't just stand there!" I yelled.

Walang ibang nasa isip 'ko kung hindi ang dalhin si Sam sa hospital. This not the first time I saw her breathing hard, but this is the first time I'm seeing her breathing hard that she's almost dying.

Wala lang ilang minuto ay binuhat s'ya ni Manong Pine, ang driver namin, para dalhin s'ya sa hospital.

Buong byahe ay hindi 'ko kinakausap ang magulang namin at kinakausap 'ko lang si Sam.

"Everything's going to be alright, okay? Look, Ate's holding your hand! Please hold on, Sam. Malapit na tayo," sabi ko. Trying to be brave.

She smiled weakly to me. "I love you.."

"I love you,"

Tumigil ang sasakyan at maraming lumapit para kunin si Sam sa amin. They took her to the E.R kaya hindi kami maka-pasok. The next day, she was already in a private room when I came from the house.

Mom and Dad just got home when I left the house. I'm still not talking to them.

"Sam!" I exclaimed when I saw her.

She's still weak. There are a lot of tubes connected to her. Mayroon din s'ya sa may bibig n'ya.

Lumapit ako sa kan'ya at umupo sa tabi n'ya.

"How are you feeling? I'm sorry, umuwi ako kagabi, ha? Are you okay? Should I call a nurse?" Sunod sunod 'kong sabi.

She chuckled and it was like a music to my ears. I thought I wouldn't hear that anymore.

"I-I'm fine.. Ate.." she said between her hard breathings.

"You're breathing hard, wait me, okay? I will call a nurse to check you," sabi 'ko at tumayo pero hinawakan n'ya ako sa kamay kaya bumalik ang tingin 'ko sa kan'ya.

"Ate.. find someone.. na hindi ka.. lo..lokohin h-ha?" Hirap na hirap n'yang sambit.

I felt a sudden string in my heart. "What are you saying? Don't.. don't talk to my like that," sagot 'ko. Trying so hard to keep my tears.

Damn it! She's like saying a farewell wish!

"Ate Sab.. I-I don't feel so good.." she said kaya agad akong na-alarma.

"Alright, wait me, I'll call a nurse. I'll be back, okay?" Paalam 'ko sa kan'ya na dapat ay hindi 'ko ginawa.

The moment I step out of her room, is the moment she decided to let go. Para akong na-estatwa sa tayo 'ko. Some nurse walked pass me at pumasok sa loob ng kwarto ni Sam. Nang buksan nila ang pinto ay rinig na rinig ko ang tunog ng monitor n'ya.

Sunod sunod na luha ang lumalabas sa mata ko. Para akong pinag bagsakan ng langit at lupa noon.

That time, when she left me, I felt like my whole world collapsed.

** end of flashback **

:D