<Joshua's apartment>

It was late in the midnight as Joshua stirred up from his sleep because of the phone call.

He rubbed his eyes as he took up his phone and his eyes almost popped out.

Jeonghan.

Joshua gulped and shook himself to believe that he wasn't tripping.

His hands trembled as he picked up the call, "Hello?"

"S-shua." Jeonghan breathed out weakly, "Can we- meet?"

Joshua paused. He had to process it all. Jeonghan had called him after about seven whole years of disappearing in thin air.

And now, his weak, trembling voice was asking him to meet in the midnight. Abruptly?

"Please."

"O-okay." Joshua answered, "But where?"

"Send me your address, I'll come." Jeonghan insisted.

"I will." Joshua agreed and hung up the call.

He sent him the address and then sat there idle. What was that? And over that, what was going to happen?

He quickly stood up from the bed and went into the hall, walking back and forth restlessly.

Yoon Jeonghan. What's wrong with this guy since the beginning?

Joshua wanted to be angry and upset. But he couldn't stop feeling glad to finally meet his best friend back.

After a while, the doorbell rang as Joshua quickly went to open the door, revealing Jeonghan standing there with messy hair and swollen eyes.

Jeonghan looked up as he immediately embraced the younger and started crying.

Joshua couldn't think straight. He did have grudges against the older but now?

Now, he was worried. He was hurt to have Jeonghan crying his heart out in his arms. He just wanted console him and tell him that he was there for him.

"Jeonghan?" Joshua patted his back, "Come in."

Jeonghan didn't move, he just tightened his grip on the younger and continued to weep.

"I want to tell you the truth." Jeonghan sniffled, "I wanted to tell this to all of you since the beginning.

But I couldn't. I'm sorry, please don't hate me, please. Hear me out, just once."

Joshua gulped hard, "What are you talking about?"

"I-" Jeonghan choked, "I wasn't wrong, believe me. I didn't want to abandon you all. I wanted to fight, really! But-"

"But?" Joshua asked.

"But I was robbed off my strength, my love, my trust on everyone." Jeonghan mumbled as he couldn't help but cry his heart out.

He needed someone. He needed comfort. He needed a shoulder, to cry on.

This time, Joshua was the one to pull him into his embrace, "Stupid. You're really stupid. How can we hate you?

Yes we are upset and probably angry too because we were hurt. But hate? No, not at all."

"Thank you." Jeonghan tightened the embrace while crying harder, "Thank you so much. I'm sorry for being a damn coward and so weak but I really can't talk about anything without getting nightmares.

Will you listen to me Shua? Just like you used to do, years ago? Will you be my comfort again?"

"Of course." Joshua sniffled, "Do you even know how eagerly I've waited for you to come back to us?"

Joshua broke the hug, "Do you want me to call Seungcheol as well?"

"I can't face him anymore." Jeonghan looked down, "I don't know how to talk to him when I know I'm so empty from inside.

Love, happiness, comfort, I've nothing to give him. I'm just- just a walking statue, alive only because of a little girl."

"What's wrong, Jeonghan?" Joshua held his shoulders, "Why are you talking like this? What has happened?"

Jeonghan remained silent.

Joshua held his hand, "Let's go to my room. I'll bring water for you. We'll talk after you calm down."

Joshua took the older to his room and returned to the kitchen to take water.

He exhaled a deep breath, "I'm sorry Jeonghan, but this is important."

Meanwhile, Jeonghan sat in the room, fidgeting with his fingers.

What to do next?

What to say?

How to explain?

Jeonghan was brought out of his thoughts when Joshua returned with some snacks and water.

They talked about their ongoing life for a while after which Jeonghan seemed to be in the state of talking.

"I'll-" Jeonghan cleared his throat, "I'll try to speak about it. But- promise me that you won't force me to say further if I start failing in the middle."

"Promise, Jeonghan." Joshua nodded, "You don't need to say anything which is not comfortable to you."

Jeonghan gulped hard as he began.

-

Jeonghan grumbled slightly as he was mindlessly thrashed on the floor of the very dimly lit room.

His left wrist was immediately handcuffed to the wall.

"Leave me!" Jeonghan protested, "Aghh!!"

The staff members left as Jeonghan sat in silence. After a few moments, four well built men walked into the room.

Jeonghan's eyes widened, "Who are you all?"

"Your companions." One of them chuckled, "For the month. Let us introduce you to our code names. I'm Zach."

"I'm Wein."

"I'm Blen."

"I'm Helm."

Jeonghan looked away. What was he supposed to do of these "code" names?

"Now, darling-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT." Jeonghan hissed.

"Why? We heard you love men, pretty one?" Helm chuckled, "We're men too."

Jeonghan's heart raced as he gulped hard. He tried to break free from the handcuffs but it all went in vain.

"Oh no there, you can't possibly escape this place baby." Wein laughed.

Blen walked forward towards him, "Such a pity that we can't possibly touch you."

Jeonghan frowned as he felt his breath on his face. He was about to push him away when Zach intervened.

"If you try to touch us even by slightest then we'll get the license to do so as well."

Jeonghan halted. He was handcuffed and alone while the others were definitely at advantage.

He quickly looked away, biting his lower lip tightly to not to cry and depict his weakness.

"Well, we acknowledge that you're really pretty." Wein stated, "But that doesn't mean you'll go and tryna attract men."

"Shut up." Jeonghan managed to speak, "Just shut up!"

"Aw baby, scared of the truth?" Blen crouched down to his level, "Scared to know what kind of a filthy person you are?"

"But don't worry, we'll treat your sickness." Zach nodded, "You'll be a perfectly fine person after a month."
-

Jeonghan explained everything to Joshua as much as he could.

The names he was being called there - flithy, disgusting, sick, mentally ill, attention grabber and much worse than that.

How he was a subject of constant mockery for simply loving a person.

And how he had slowly broken down at that place. How he had lost himself. How he began to hate himself.

Jeonghan sniffled loudly in Joshua's embrace after which he looked up at the door.

Seungcheol.

He was standing there all the time as Joshua had called him earlier to secretly listen to it all.

He needed to know it. He needed to listen to it. He needed to be with Jeonghan.

Seungcheol wiped all of his tears and took several breaths to calm himself.

He took steady steps towards the bed and crouched down in front of Jeonghan to tap his hand gently.

Jeonghan flinched slightly as he retracted from Joshua, "You-"

"I'm sorry." Joshua apologized, "But I thought you needed him at this moment."

Jeonghan averted his gaze. Now, Seungcheol knew everything in detail. He knew what things Jeonghan had been called and it was absolutely disgusting to him.

Joshua patted Seungcheol's shoulders and left the room.

"Jeonghan." Seungcheol whispered, "Look at me, please."

Jeonghan wiped his tears vigorously as he didn't dare to look at him.

"Why can't you look at me, Jeonghan?" Seungcheol slowly asked.

"Because I see a clear picture of myself in your eyes." Jeonghan mumbled, "And I hate it. I don't want to look at myself."

Seungcheol held the younger's hand tenderly, "I'm sorry. I really am. All the time, I was blaming you but in reality, I was the one who broke my promises.

I failed to stand beside you when you were suffering alone, in silence."

"You didn't know. I never blamed you." Jeonghan muttered, "Because I know, if you were aware, you would have stayed with me."

Seungcheol's eyes welled up with tears once again, "Look at me, please."

"I can't." Jeonghan mumbled.

"You can." Seungcheol encouraged, "Just trust me."

Jeonghan gulped visibly as he slowly turned his gaze to the older. His swollen, red eyes met Seungcheol's teary ones.

"I- I never meant to hurt you." Jeonghan broke down as he sniffled loudly, squeezing his eyes shut, "Please forgive me."

Seungcheol's grip on the younger's palm tightened, "Don't be sorry, Jeonghan. Please don't take it on yourself, you've already went through a lot."

Jeonghan finally got the courage to wrap his hands around Seungcheol's shoulder as he leaned down to embrace him.

"I had loved you truly." Jeonghan mumbled, "You were my happiness. But I got robbed of all of it.

How do I get to love you again? How do I get to be happy again? How do I forget all of it?"

"Speak it all, Jeonghan." Seungcheol caressed his back, "I'm listening."

Jeonghan's cries instensified, "There was no one. I could have ended myself and there was no one to stop me.

I- I didn't want to go there but dad forced me to. He thought I was sick but what am I now?

A breathing statue? It hurts to see you this close to myself but my heart doesn't race the same way it used to do."

Seungcheol embraced him tightly, "It's okay, Jeonghan, it's really okay. I don't want your heart to beat for me, I want it to he full of happiness again."

"N-no." Jeonghan nodded, "Leave it, Seungcheol. There's nothing that can be done now."

"That's not it." Seungcheol whispered, "You stayed strong for so long, now we'll together make your heart happy again."

Jeonghan tried to smile while wiping his tears, "Don't worry. I've Jiah, I'll- I'll try."

Seungcheol's heart ached as he watched Jeonghan force a smile. Despite all the pain and trauma he had endured, Jeonghan was still putting on a brave face for the sake of Jiah.

"You don't have to try to be strong all the time." he said gently, his hand still rubbing Jeonghan's back. "You're allowed to feel weak, to feel vulnerable. I'm here for you, Jeonghan. Whatever you need."

Jeonghan nodded in denial, "I'm not. If I start feeling weak, I won't be able to protect Jiah. And- I- Seungcheol, she had saved me, seriously. Now, I can't let my past haunt her."

"You don't have to do everything on your own, Jeonghan." Seungcheol said softly. "You can lean on Jiah, but you can also lean on me. You don't have to be a superhero for her. You're allowed to be human."

Jeonghan looked down again.

"Listen to me." Seungcheol held his palms tenderly, "I'm not asking you to turn everything as it once used to be. I know it's neither possible nor healthy for you.

All I'm asking is, just don't hide from us anymore, Jeonghan. We can still be a family and we'll gladly include Jiah in it.

You're free to maintain any kind of distance you want but just don't push us away. We want to be together with you.

Just- I don't want you to feel alone, because you aren't."

Seungcheol leaned in to hold Jeonghan's cheek gently, "Will you try to trust me again?"

Jeonghan looked at the older as a tear escaped his eyes, "I-" He halted.

"Don't worry about Jiah." Seungcheol nodded, "Probably not as much as you do, but I really adore her.

I promise, me, or anyone of us would never come between you and Jiah. In fact, we'll definitely love her like you do."

Jeonghan smiled just slightly as he looked down, "I don't know if I'll be able to make it but I'll try, I will."

"Yes." Seungcheol nodded, "Just share your feelings to me, to us all but only when you're comfortable.

Prioritise yourself, Jeonghan, and leave the rest on us, okay? Don't worry about anything.

If you've any problem, even a slight one, any discomfort, you just have to say, or probably just hint it.

I- I'll understand, surely."

Jeonghan nodded slowly, "I know. I- I'm grateful for all of this, Seungcheol. Even after years, you heard me. Joshua let me into his place and treated me well.

Thankyou so much. Really."

"You don't need to." Seungcheol nodded as he called Joshua too.

"Instead-" Seungcheol continued, "I'm sorry. I had promised you to understand you and stand with you but I couldn't."

"Me too, Jeonghan." Joshua muttered, "I don't know how I failed to understand you."

"Don't blame yourselves." Jeonghan looked at both of them, "It was really not your fault. You didn't know anything.

I- I trust you all. I know if you had even a slightest hint, you would have been there for me. But I- I just couldn't speak at that time.

It's still hard but I'm trying. Because I know, if not here then I belong to nowhere. You all are my home, and I'm really grateful for that."

"Yes." Seungcheol patted his arm, "From now on, we'll never let you feel alone. You're strong Jeonghan, just know that, okay?

Your trust and happiness, is all I want."

A/n : Who loves Jiah, raise your hands!! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Anyways take care everyone!
-Jeonghanneyonghaseyo