[UNEDITED]

        I looked at Chloe and she was still fighting the tears, though I wished that she wouldn’t do that. It was only going to make her feel so much worse than she already did.

        I walked over to her, half expecting her to push me away again. Instead, she embraced me and held on tight as she cried into my chest. It broke my heart to see her like this. Most of the time I didn’t know what the hell to do, and I was supposed to be her brother.

        I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. She had the right to know that her husband was a dirty, cheating, lying scumbag but she didn’t need to know that’s where he was when she lost their son. Especially since he turned his phone off for the entire week so he didn’t have to deal with the pressures of married life anymore.

        Charlotte Simpson. She was the girl I was supposed to be marrying. She told me that she loved me, turns out she was only saying that so she could get her dirty hands on my sister’s husband. And there was me thinking I had actually hit the jackpot with her and we were going to be together for the rest of our lives.

        What a mistake that was. She was just like the rest of them. Women only ever wanted a bed to sleep in and someone they could fuck whenever they got a little bit bored. They weren’t in the relationship for the love, they were just waiting for the next opportunity to fuck over the person who was stupid enough to take them in their life.

        “Why didn’t you tell me before?” Chloe finally muttered.

        “There was never a right time to tell you. You were so happy that I didn’t want to see your relationship in the same fucked up state as mine,” I sighed. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, keeping it a secret and never telling anyone, but now I realise that was possibly the worst thing I could have done at a time like this.

        “Pfft. I guess it’s too late for that,” Chloe said. She moved away from me and, just like that, her face went from being full of tears to looking like she was going to murder me if I so much as said ‘hello’ to her. “I want you out and I want you out today.”

        “Wait? Your husband cheats on you and you’re throwing me out?”

        “You lied to me Jason. You knew the truth and you allowed me to keep on living a lie,” Chloe chuckled harshly as she walked out of the room. I knew better than to bother saying anything to her again, it would only make things worse and I couldn’t handle losing my sister again. Sure, she was probably never going to speak to me again after this, but there was still the hope that she would. “You picked Matthew’s side over mine and that was never going to end well for you.”

        “I never picked a side.”

        “You did by keeping the truth from me,” Chloe retorted. “Make sure you're gone by the end of the day.”

        “Where am I supposed to go?” I asked. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, other than to Erin’s house, but I only ever went round there when I needed someone to sleep with. I found her after the breakup with Charlotte and she had just broken up with her boyfriend – turned out he was gay and he had been cheating on her with her own brother. That’s some serious fucked up shit if you ask me.

        Erin and I both ended up extremely drunk after one drink turned into ten and she wasted no time in dragging me back to her place. A couple more nights like that and we came to the agreement that we would be fuck buddies. I was there when she needed some release and she was there when I needed a release.

        Right now, though, I didn’t need a release. I needed a sofa to crash on until Chloe had decided she was going to stop hating me. As little as I wanted to ask Erin, I knew I wasn’t going to have any other choice since I didn’t really fancy sleeping on the street. I had done that before and it was the worst night of my life.

        “I don’t care. Just anywhere that isn’t my house,” Chloe shouted and then disappeared out of the room/ I heard her slam the door to the kitchen and I made a note that I needed to stay out of that room. I should also warn Matthew that he was going to need to find somewhere else to spend the next few days, especially if he wanted to avoid death at the hands of a pissed off wife.

        I walked out of the living room, grabbing my phone from my pocket as I vanished in the direction of my bedroom. I needed to start packing because I wanted to be out before Chloe came looking for my head. I also wanted to be out by the time Matthew got home from work.

        I scrolled through the names in my phone and it didn’t take me long to find Erin. I pressed the green button and I only had to wait a couple of seconds before she answered it to me.

        “Jason?” her voice sent shivers down my spine, it always did when she spoke to me. She had some strange effect on me, it was nothing like Charlotte, but it was an amazing feeling nonetheless.

        “Hey Erin. I need something from you,” I sighed.

        “You know you never have to ask,” she chuckled. That laugh as well, if ever there was a laugh which made an entire male population fall to their knees and beg a girl for their love, then that was the laugh.

        “Actually, I need a place to stay for a while. My sister is kicking me out,” I muttered.

        “You’re always welcome at mine Jase. It’ll be nice to have someone there actually, it gets a little lonely at times,” Erin said. I could almost feel the pain in her words. She had lived alone for the past eight months now and I knew it wasn’t a feeling which sat well with her. She preferred to be in the company of others so I am sure sitting around in a big, empty house wasn’t her idea of amazing.

        “Thanks. I’ll pick you up from work in an hour?” I asked.

        “Great thing about being my own boss, I can do what I like,” Erin laughed and then quietened herself down again. I was never going to love the girl, I was only ever going to use her for casual sex. I was always going to love Charlotte and I was always going to want her back, just like she was always going to love Oliver and want him back. Though I don’t think there was much chance of that happening, not when he was so happy with her brother now.

        “I’ll text you when I’m outside,” I smiled to myself.

        “Yeah. I’ll see you then,” Erin said and then she was gone. She was always the one to hang up the phone, she told me it was a weird thing she had picked up over the years. She had to be the one to end a phone call, not the other way round, and I had accepted that pretty quickly. I wasn’t one to argue with a woman I was sleeping with, it was easier to let them get their own way and then I always got what I wanted from them.

        I walked over to my wardrobe, pulling a suitcase off the top of it and throwing it onto the bed. I didn’t look at what I was throwing into the suitcase, I was just throwing in enough clothes to last me a couple of weeks. I hoped that would be enough time for Chloe to calm down and realise I was only trying to protect her, even though I did it in entirely the wrong way.

        I am her older brother and it is my job to keep her safe. It is my job to prevent her from having her heart broken by arsehole players. It is my job to make sure she never stops smiling, regardless of what she is smiling it, she deserves to be happy.

        I had failed at all of that though. I had become as bad as our parents where my love for my sister was concerned. I hadn’t been there for her anywhere near as much as I should have been and I should have told her about Matthew when I first found out, which was eight months ago. Eight months since my life become as fucked up as it is now.

        “Charl?” I shouted through the house. I had always loved to surprise Charlotte and being able to leave early from work was one of the ways in which I did that.

        I would come home to her cooking us dinner or to her planning our wedding or to her playing with Amanda while talking to Chloe about something.

        This time though, there was total silence, and that wasn’t something which I was used to hearing. There was always someone home when I got back from work, even when I finished early and got back before I should have done.

        “Chlo? Is anyone home?” I shouted again only to be greeted with the silence. I pulled my jacket off and threw it onto the sofa, along with the DVD and bottle of wine which I had brought back with me. I had planned on spending the night with Charlotte since Amanda was with Vivienne for the night to give Chloe and Matthew a chance to go out with each other.

        “Yes. Yes. Yes,” I suddenly heard Charlotte’s voice calling throughout the house. I walked to where it was coming from and saw that our bedroom door was open slightly. When I saw what was going on, I wished that I had just ignored it and walked back out of the house, but I couldn’t just do that.

        “Charlotte,” Matthew breathed. His hand quickly moved to her face and I was going to be sick if I stood here, looking at what was going on for any longer.

        “What the fuck?” I shouted. Charlotte jumped up from Matthew’s crotch while he threw the duvet over himself to cover his modesty. “Do either of you want to tell me what the fuck is going on here?”

        “It’s not what it looks like,” Matthew panicked as he stood up from the bed and zipped his trousers back up.

        “Not what it looks like? What, so my fiancé wasn’t just sucking my sister’s husband off?” I snapped. I wasn’t angry, I was fucking furious.

        The one time I trusted a woman enough to actually let her into my life and trust her, she goes behind me back to fuck my sister’s husband. Of all the people she could sleep with, she had to pick the one who was going to tear the family apart.

        “No. I swear. I was trying to push her off me,” Matthew said, but I didn’t believe a single word of what he was telling me. When I was stood at the door, it looked like he was about to pull her closer to himself.

        “Don’t lie Matt. We were about to have sex,” Charlotte finally spoke up. I couldn’t help but notice the smirk on her face as she announced that to me. She knew she was hitting me right where it hurt and she didn’t give a fuck about it. As long as she was alright, then it didn’t matter that she was killing me right now.

        “No we were not. Tell him the truth Charlotte,” Matthew shouted at her. I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen him this angry, but even that didn’t make me want to believe what he was telling me. There was every possibility that the two of them had planned this out beforehand.

        “You know what, I can’t do this right now. I hope you can live with yourself knowing that you lost the best thing which ever happened to you Matthew,” I seethed before storming out of the bedroom. My fists clenched at my side, my heart beating twice as fast as it should have been and tears in my eyes.

        I walked out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew that I needed to get the hell away from this place before I did something stupid.

        I always told Chloe that it was Matthew’s fault my engagement fell apart, but she never believed me. I guess I should have told her sooner and, if I had done that, then perhaps I wouldn’t be able to sleep on my fuck buddies’ sofa for the next however long it happened to be.

        “Uncle Jason?” I turned at the sound of my name to see Amanda stood at my door. She was a spit of Chloe when she was younger. They always say if you want to know what someone’s daughter is going to look like, then you should look at their mother. If that was the case, then the future looked bright for little Amanda.

        “Yes sweetie?” I asked her, closing my case and walking over to where she stood.

        “Mummy is crying. Why is mummy crying?” Amanda replied and I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth. She wouldn’t understand, she was too young and it wasn’t fair.

        “She’s just having a bit of a bad day. That’s all.”

        “What? Like the time Sam died?” she said and all I could do was nod because I was speechless.

        When Amanda asked Matthew why Chloe was upset, he didn’t tell her, he simply told her that she was having a bad day and needed some space.

        When she asked John and Vivienne what had happened, they told her the same thing as Matthew, she was just having a bad day.

        When she asked Jodie, she told her to ask me because I would tell her what had happened.

        When she asked me, I told her the truth. I told her that her little brother had died and that she was never going to meet him. I told her that Chloe was upset because she never got to meet her son and there was always going to be a little piece of her missing now.

        Amanda understood and she never spoke of it again after that day. All she did was give Chloe the biggest hug I had ever seen a five year old give their mother.

        “Are you going somewhere Uncle Jason?”

        “I am going to visit Santa to tell him just how good you’ve been all year. I am going to tell him to bring you something extra special,” I smiled at her. I wasn’t going to tell her that her uncle was a complete fucking twat who knew all the right ways to screw things up and I wasn’t going to mention that I had just ripped her entire family apart.

        “Can you tell him to bring me a new teddy? The one daddy bought me is broken,” Amanda laughed.

        “Of course I can darling,” I said, picking her up and putting her on my hip so that I could say goodbye to her. I didn’t know when I was going to be back, so it was better to give the impression that I wasn’t going anywhere and I would be back before she even knew anything was wrong.

        “Promise me you’ll be back soon?” Amanda finally spoke again. I could see the tears in her eyes as she pleaded with me to make sure I came back. I wanted to promise her that I would be back before she even knew what was happening, but I couldn’t lie to her like that. There was a chance I was never going to be coming back here and I needed to tell her that, but I don’t think I could stand to see the hurt in her eyes.

        I was as much of a shit uncle as I was a shit brother. I was incapable of being able to do anything right these days. I couldn’t even keep a stable relationship.

        “I don’t know when I’m going to be back. Me and mummy just need some time away from each other,” I said as I kissed the top of her head and held her close one last time. “I love you Amanda.”

        “I love you too Uncle Jason,” she replied. I placed her back on the ground and grabbed my suitcase from the bed, walking over to the door I could see that she was about to burst into tears and I hated that I had done this.

        I had hurt my sister and my niece all in the same day. I really was a fuck up and I hated myself more than anything right now.

        I gave her one last look and then left. I walked out of the room without so much as another word to the five year old. Call me arse, but I didn’t know what to say to her; I already knew no words were going to make her feel any better or even lessen the pain she was feeling right now.

        “Which girl are you going to fuck this time then?” I turned at the sound of Chloe’s voice. Her eyes were swollen from the tears and her tone was bitter. I really had messed up this time and there was no denying that, there wasn’t even a viable way for me to lie myself out of the situation.

        “I know it counts for nothing but I really am sorry. I never meant to screw up this badly,” I muttered as I walked past her and headed towards the front door, but not before Chloe had the last word.

        “Yeah, you’re right, your apology counts for nothing. I don’t ever want to see you again Jason. I hope whichever slut you phoned is willing to put up with you because I’m done. I hate you.”

        It was with those words that I closed the door and walked towards my car. Tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart. Now my entire family hated me and all I had to show for my life was a deadbeat job and a girl who was willing to fucking sleep with me anytime I demanded it.

        I don’t think I could fuck up anymore. Even if I tried to.

        Aw. This part actually brought a tear to my eye as I was writing it. The conversation between Jason and Amanda was just, omg, I just can't think about it.

        I would say that, if you feel sorry for Jason and want to give him a hug, you can't because he belongs to covermeredd. So, sorry about that xP

        Anyway, I hope you liked this part and you can thank your lucky stars that insomnia decided it's going to hit me hard me like a bitch again tonight. It means you get this part now rather than tomorrow night.

        Lots of love, El xox