After the first film, he excused himself to my restroom, and I went to the kitchen to open a bag of chips. We had friendly banter and made jokes, it was only seven o'clock and I decided that in the second film I would try to sit closer to him to see if he would make a move. He came out of the restroom and walked into the kitchen, getting a cup of lemonade.

"Ready for the real scary stuff?" he questions, leaning against the counter.

Do you mean scary like trying to make a move on an attractive man?

"Okay, but if I get scared, I get to hide behind you." Please take the hint.

He looks a bit taken back for a second but agrees. "Fine, but I'm just as much of a baby, so I might hide under the blanket."

I take a restroom break and stare at myself in the mirror, pointing to myself to be brave. I washed my hands and walked back out to see that he sat in the end seat of the three-seater couch. He put a blanket over his legs and set his snack on the small end table. He had left it up to me to either sit back in my spot or next to him. I took a few steps towards him and sat just a foot away.

The light from the television and a scented candle were the only light that illuminated our faces in the dark room. I could hear his breath hitch as I lifted his blanket and covered myself with it.

"O-okay." He cleared his throat. "Ready?"

The film itself was The Exorcist, and if I'm honest, I had spent my entire life not watching it. J.D. mentioned that we should watch it when Billy mentions how it reminded him of his and Sidney's relationship.

It was about halfway through the movie, where I began to cover my eyes at certain scenes and look away. I subconsciously moved closer to him as the film went on until finally the head spinning scene happened, and I lost it, grabbing onto his arm and covering my face.

"Absolutely not!" I mumbled into his arm.

I felt him shift and take his arm from me, but only for a second before he wrapped it around my shoulders and brought me closer. "it's okay its almost over." He whispered. "Oh, look, she's flying."

I lifted my head and stayed there in his arms until the last scene, only watching bits and pieces.

A lot was running through my mind now. Was I rushing into this, or was the timing right? What if he just wanted to be friends and thought it was weird that I wanted to kiss him and more? My past came to mind, those who I let into my life and those who tried. All my past relationships, both boyfriends and the line of one night stands I let happen when depression hit me a few years after my mom passed.

I don't exactly regret those decisions because they shaped me, like the rest of my decisions in life. But this wasn't a guy I would never see again; this guy was now a main character in my little life here in Springfield. If I crossed the line, I would lose a friend, but if I did make a move and things went well, then what?

I think that's the idea I'm most scared of, the future. I feared what could happen. It was a constant nagging voice in my mind. When my mom was sick, I spiraled out of control with thoughts of death, possible miracles, and different conclusions that never happened.

Perhaps this is why I pushed people away, and I became defensive. Maybe this is why I chose to be alone and ignore my feelings. I dreaded good things happening and being taken away from me, that I couldn't even kiss a guy out of fear that all would fall apart.

"Are you okay?" A voice beside me snapped me out of my quickly forming panic attack.

I didn't say anything, mostly because I couldn't speak now. The last time I had a panic attack was in the hospital after they cut off my father's leg. I remember thinking I was having a heart attack and a nurse sitting me down and giving me pointers on how to control myself. After that day when they started forming, I would take deep breaths and try to remember my surroundings, naming four things in the room that are blue, four things that are red, counting to one hundred, anything to distract my mind.

Maybe it was the scary movie, mixed with the nerves of tonight, but I couldn't help the tears that began to fall. "Oh my god." I tried to wipe my eyes, but my shaking breath caught J.D.'s attention.

What the hell is wrong with me?

He pulled away, standing to turn on the lamp beside him, and looked at me. "Zamora, are you okay? Did it scare you that bad?" he seemed to laugh before he realized I was crying actual tears. "Hey, it's just a movie." He kneeled in front of me and took both of my hands on one of his, gently squeezing them, his other hand, gently wiping the tears away. My hands must have really been shaking because he looked down at them with a worried expression. "Come here." He pulled me to his chest and chuckled. "We are so not watching the next movie; we are skipping to the funny one."

That made me laugh and quickly apologize. "Sorry, I just... began thinking, and I gave myself a panic attack."

He pulled away with one eyebrow raised, "About what? The creepy possessed girl?"

I decided not to tell him and just nodded my head. "I grew up Catholic. Demons and the devil have always scared me." I shrugged.

He laughs and pulls me in for another hug, gently rubbing my back in such a loving and comforting way. We stayed like that for a minute before he pulled away and looked at me. I looked down to see he was kneeling in front of me and was holding my hands again.

I was about to say something when suddenly, he pressed his lips on my forehead. It was a small kiss, but it was as if he made all bad thoughts go away for a moment.

I beamed up at him, which made him return a small smile. "That okay?" he asked.

I nod, "Yes."

He appeared uneasy as he leaned in and kissed my cheek this time. "How about that?" he whispered; his warm breath tickled my neck.

I nod again, "Yes."

He pauses, looking down at my hands and bringing them up to his mouth to kiss them as well. He takes them after a few kisses to the back of them and presses my palms gently against either side of his face. I watch him carefully as he closes his eyes. "I'm going to let you take control of the next kiss." He gently pouts his lips. "Take the hint." He teases.

I giggle and slowly lean in to press my lips to his for a few seconds. All the panic leaves my body for those five seconds that I kiss him. I pull away, and he opens his eyes a second after I open mine. My hands slide down to his shoulders and then around his neck, interlocking my fingers behind him. His hands find a place on my waist where he gently pulls me forward and leans into kiss me again. This time, it was for more than just a few seconds.

My eyes close as he tilts his head and deepens the kiss, I lose my composure at that moment and pull him closer to me, parting my knees to allow him to press closer to me from our position on the couch. One of his hands comes up to my neck and holds me gently as his mouth opens, and I feel the gentle swipe of his tongue at my bottom lip begging me to open for him.

When I do, he groans, shifting in his spot to get closer to me. I lean back onto the couch, pulling him up, fully making out with him on top of me. My hands tangle in his hair, and my body presses to his as we continue a very heated session.

He pulls away and licks his lips, trying to catch his breath. "Sorry if that was forward, I totally dismissed your panic attack."

"I was sort of having one because I wanted to kiss you but didn't know how." I admitted underneath him.

He seemed confused but shrugged and began kissing me again.

Thanks for reading.xx