Chapter 3

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I woke up by a hard knock on my room door. I stretch my arms and took a minute to know why my body is in pain? I look around and saw I was lying on cold floor. Then all last night scene hit my. My marriage was broken yesterday. I don't know what to do to cry or to laugh to make me fool once again? I was still hoping this all was a joke but unfortunately it is not.

I notice door banging was gone. It must be Yasir Bhai. I sigh and get up. A sharp pain ran through my body causing me to fall again but stop by holding the edge of my desk. I walk in washroom and look myself in mirror. I was looking horrible. My eyes were red from crying. My face has become pale and my hairs were like someone put bomb and explode it.

I quickly get a hot shower, brush my teeth and walk out. I change into a pair of tights, and long blue shirt with cream hijab. I went down and saw Mom, Dad and Bhai having breakfast. I give my Salaam with small smile and start eating also. I avoid eye contact with them. I really don't want anyone to come and ask me are you feeling okay. I really hate it when people say that.

"Khadija?" Mom voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw sadness in her eyes. She has dark circles under her eyes.

"Yes Mom?" I try to sound cool like nothing happen. It is second time when this happen to me. First time, when Dad's friend ask to marry his son with me but later his son told everyone he already married and also had a son. Dad was really mad that time. It took a long time to get him back to normal. He says he shouldn't have say yes to his friends.

"Khadija. We want you to forget everything." Here it comes again. I look at everyone and notice their worried look at me.

"Forget what Mom?"

"What happen last night. Just forget it all. We will find better guy for you." Dad answer my question. I looked at him. He had same face expression like Mom. I look at Yasir bhai expecting he has the same but he was blank. I didn't say anything and play with my food.

"Dad. Give her some time to forget it." Yasir bhai says for me. We finish our breakfast and go back to daily routine. Dad went for cafe. Mom was in kitchen and Yasir Bhai took off from his work. I locked myself again in my room. I didn't feel going out today.

I lay on my bed and stare up ceiling. Do I forget it all? Do I able to forget Zaid? What he's doing right now? Did they left? Or still here? I turn to right side and saw our engagement picture. We were very happy that time so why now he thinking I am not perfect for him? Is there something missing in me? Or that was only an excuse of getting rid of me?

My phone ring pulls me out of my thoughts. I wipe my teary face and check the caller ID. I frown in confusion when I see unknown number.

"Hello?" My voice was slightly cracking.

"H-hello? Khadija?" The voice from other line says. I stiffen, I quickly remember that voice.

"Sana?" I whisper. Why she call me? Is there something left to tell me?

"Khadija. Please give me one chance to explain myself. Please." She pleaded. Why she is begging to give her a chance? She already did what she wants to.

"Sana there is nothing left to explain anything. I don't want to listen anything. Be happy in your new life." I said and ended the phone call and throw it away.

Why she call me? Did she want to know if I am alive or dead? They must be wrong if they think I am dead. Yes, it is true I love Zaid and I can't imagine living without him but I do, for my family. I live for my family for myself. I show them all what they think was all wrong. I can still enjoy my life.

I grab my laptop and login in on Skype and make a call to Aminah. Aminah is my best friend. She lives in Pakistan but we still talk on Skype.

"Assalam-o-Alaikum our bridal." Aminah voice comes in my ears. I look at my best friend. She has fair skin like me. Her hairs were open that came to her back. She has light brown eyes. She was wearing a green simple Pakistani dress.

"Walaikum Assalam Aminah." My voice broke. I look down and try to stop my tears to fall.

"What happen Khadija? Why you sound so sad?" She asked concerned as she notices my voice cracking.

"Zaid. He broke our marriage. He is already married" I said and tears start falling from my eyes.

"What? When? With who? Why he didn't tell it before?" She shoot her questions. I can see how angry she was.

"He marry Sana. He said he love her after we fix everything. He also says she give everything which I can't.

"Sana? You mean your Sana? What she give to him?"

"Yes our Sana. My little sister Sana. He says she gives him love, she care about him, she was with him whenever he needs her and I am not" I said imagine all word he says to me yesterday. "They were leaving today. They were leaving all of us" I finished.

"I am so sorry Khadija."

"You don't have to say sorry Aminah, why would you be? You didn't do anything wrong. Everything what happen to me was in Allah's hands not any of us." I wipe my tears and give her a weak smile.

"You know what Khadija? You are the best girl I have known in my life. You were really a brave girl. You can get whoever you want. He is an idiot to let you go. You deserve hundred times better than him." She gives her sweet comment.

"But Aminah I don't even know if I will be able to love someone else and move on or someone accept my past?" I was really scared of it.

"Don't think like this Khadija. Everyone loves you and just keep your trust in Allah."

"I will. Anyways, how's everyone there?" I asked changing the topic. Our families were Neighbours in Pakistan. We had very good understanding between us. When we move here but they didn't break contact with us, we were still in touch.

"Everyone is good. Actually Mama was going to call Aunty." She said happily.

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

"Usama Bhai is getting married. Mama wants you all to come here to attend it."

"Congratulate him from my side." I said with a small smile. We talk a bit more before saying good bye. It was time of afternoon prayer. I offer Zuhur Salah and go down to help Mom and to divert my mind from last night event.

I help Mom in making lunch. Mom asked me 10 times if I was okay and my answer always yes. To be honest I wasn't okay. I mean how you feel when you're marriage break a week before? And I was tired to saying yes. I want some space from them. I want to go on vacations to clear my mind.

"Khadija put it on table" Mom said interrupting my thoughts. She have a bowl of rice in her hand. I take it from her and set it on table.

"Now go and call Yasir." I walk up to Yasir Bhai room it was half open. I was about to knock when I heard him speaking someone.

"Yes I knew he is but do it what I say. Make sure he didn't get any job there... Yes I will pay him for this just do it... Okay bye." What he's talking about and whom? Did he mean Zaid? I knock and door wide open and Yasir Bhai came out. I give him a stern look.

"What?" He raised his brow.

"What are you talking about Bhai?" I asked giving him my best angry glare. He looked away.

"You don't have to know who I am talking to or what I am talking about. Understood?" Anger was clear in his voice exactly the way he talk yesterday. It gives me a hint that he was talking about him.

"It is about Zaid isn't?" I asked. He shifts uncomfortably on his standing position.

"Listen Khadija, what he did is not forgiven. And he had to pay for it"

"He's you're brother-in-law and husband of Sana, our sister." Yes I take her side. After everything she's our sister and no one can change it. I was angry on them. But it is written in my future. It is written in my fate.

"No. She's not my sister. She is nothing to us. They both doesn't belong to our family." He yelled causing me to flinch back. His face soften when he saw my reaction. He came to me and wrapped his arm around me.

"Khadija you are my sister. You are everything to us. If anyone hurt you they will regret it" He said softly. I hugged him back. We finish our lunch in silence none of us say anything to anyone. Right now, Mom is on phone with someone, me and Yasir Bhai were in his room playing cards. He knew how to distract me when I was not in mood to do anything. He's the best brother.

"You cheated" I yelled and start hitting him. He laughed and fall on floor still laughing.

"Khadija really you never change. You always say it when you lost." He said between his laugh. We were playing cards and he cheat like always.

"I lost because of you do cheating. When you saw I was going to win you get on your old side and start cheating." I told in anger. Before he could say anything a door ring. It must be Dad. We heard his voice.

"Dad is home. I want to talk about something important to him." Bhai said getting up to his feet. I quickly stood up and stop him from going out.

"Bhai he just come. Talk him after dinner." I suggest. I know when Dad come back he was tired of all day and when we tell him our problems he wasn't reacting on it. Yasir Bhai gives me a head nod and sat back to his place. We start a new game of cards and play it. This time I win because this time Bhai didn't cheat. We ate dinner and made little talk about me. Dad asked me if I was okay. I tell him I was. When we finish our dinner Yasir Bhai and I go out to bring some ice cream. It was our rule to have ice cream after dinner every time. We were at Ice cream shop and waiting for our ice creams, we just order.

"What are you thinking about Bhai?" I asked when I look at him as he was thinking about something very deep.

"Huh? Sorry?" He said as he didn't listen my question.

"What are you thinking?" I repeat myself.

"It's about Usama. He called all of us for his marriage. But by the look of situation now a days I don't think Dad will agree to go" he answer with a sigh. Usama Bhai is Aminah brother and Yasir Bhai best friend back in Pakistan. They were still friends like me and Aminah. I can tell how badly Yasir Bhai want to go back Pakistan but didn't because Dad didn't allow any of us.

"Bhai to be honest I don't want to go back. After what they do to us wasn't a good idea to go and live with them again." I said in anger. They didn't have to do that all things to us. What we do to them? Did we kill any of them or did we hurt them? No, then why they do all that?

"Khadija?" I feel a shake on my shoulder. I look around and saw Yasir Bhai face in confusion.

"Huh? What are you saying?" I said getting myself back into reality. This time I went in my thoughts.

"I was saying I knew they did bad to us and we are not going there for them. We are going for Usama and his family." He said and looked at counter where our ice cream arrived. I pick it up and walk back into car.

"But Bhai it all depend on Dad. Just spoke to him about this and let see what he will say. Okay?" I suggest him. He nodded and we get back to home.

When we get back Dad and Mom was in living room discussing about something. They stop when they saw coming toward them. We give them their ice creams and start eating. Dad makes a light talk before coming to what he was actually going to say. Dad always take it light when we want to do to serious talk to us.

"How's work Yasir?" Dad asked Bhai. I look at him.

"Good." He answer shortly. I can tell he was nervous and thinking where he should start from? I was trying my best to control my laugh. It happen when he was in this situation.

"Yasir I was wondering why don't you take leave for few weeks?"

"Huh? Dad I..." Yasir Bhai stop on what he was saying. I look at him he was like calculating something in his mind. He blinked twice before start again."Actually Dad I was going to do it before you ask. I get tired of work and want some vacation." My brother is very smart. He know if he say this then Dad definitely sent him somewhere for rest.

"Well, I already planned some vacation for you and Khadija." He pointed his finger to me. I frowned in confusion. Where Dad wants me to go? I am not leaving them.

"But Dad I am fine here. I don't want any kind of vacations." Yeah I know earlier I said I want some vacation but I change my mind. I want some time for myself but didn't want to get away from my family.

"And what about you and Mom?" Yasir Bhai asked him before Dad could say anything.

"We stay here. I can't go anywhere right now. Cafe was in some problems." Dad said in tensed voice. I can see on his face how tense he was right now. This cafe was his life. Our grandfather starts it and gives it to Dad before he gets sick and died.

"Problems? What kind of problems?" Yasir Bhai voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"You're Uncle want to take over cafe" Dad said. I can feel myself fill with anger. I look at him he was looking back at me with same anger. How could he think he could take over it? They lost all right on Dad, on us or on my grandfather's cafe. "This is my father last thing I have and they want to take it away from me."

"Don't worry Dad everything will be alright no one take away what's yours. Okay?" Bhai assured him. I can tell he was calming himself down. He had hated our fathers Siblings, even I had.

"I hope so" he said quietly. I look around and saw Mom. She was sitting still with blank face. What she's thinking about?

"Where you want to go us Dad?" Bhai asked hoping if he could send us back in Pakistan, which is impossible. We all know Dad, he wasn't sending us there all alone.

"You're Mom will tell you" he glance at Mom and she was still in her own world. Dad shaking her should lightly then she come back. Dad gave her tell-us look.

"Um. Well, me and your Dad want you two to go Pakistan and attend Usama's wedding." My mouth open. What? Did I hear her right? Did they want us to go back and alone?

"No Mom I am not going back. You know what did to you and all of us? Then why? No, I can't go back" I said a little bid loud but I don't care what they think about me. I just don't want to get back. I love my parents respect.

I look toward Yasir bhai hoping he had the same reacting but he was shocked to see me? Really? He forget all? I take last glance of my parents before walking in my room. I slam hard my room door behind me.

I was so angry on them. How could they? How could they forget? How could they even think of sending us back there? I am not going anywhere where no one accept us. It felt like hours I am in my room. It was midnight and I am still awake. I was only thinking about what they did to my Dad my Mom. If I was older that time I will surely make them feel sorry for what they had done.

I sigh and get up. I walk down into kitchen to drink some water. I drank it and head back to my room. I was in middle to get upstairs when I heard someone crying. I follow it and it is coming from backyard and Mom is sitting there.

I walk up to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She take a quickly glance of me and wipe her tears. I sit next to her quietly. I want to know why she's crying. Is she upset to recall to memories? I want her to be happy and forget all what happen earlier.

"Are you Okay Mom?" I asked once her crying was stop.

"Yes I am okay. What are you doing here? Are you not sleepy?" She asked me. I shook my head.

"No Mom, I was awake all time." I answer

"Are you still mad at me?" I snap my head to her. She was staring me back. I quickly shook my head in 'no'.

"No Mom. Why would be I get mad at you? Its just... I was angry on sending us back to that hell hole" I said quietly.

"Khadija, it is not hell hole my child. Its your homeland where you belong to. You born there-" I cut in.

"By mistake" I muttered under my breath.

"Don't say that again" she scolds me. I look up at her a small anger hint in her eyes.

"Why not Mom? It was a mistake that I born there. It was a mistake to born between selfish peoples. Who are called my relatives." I stood up. "One thing is clear Mom, I am not going back there on any cost" I said stubbornly and went back to my room. I hate them. I hate them more than I hate someone else. What they do was not right.

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-Maddy