Pete's favorites songlist
Track 1: Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody

Tiana's POV

"Sunday morning rain-" I turned the morning alarm off almost immediately. Pretending that I had just woken up, I scratched my bed-head, yawned, and stretched my arms out widely.

I dragged myself to the bathroom to wash my face. The dark heavy bags underneath my eyes showed my sleep deprivation as always. I could never get enough sleep even though I desperately wanted to. It was because of the nightmares. They were there, waiting for their time to feast on my soul at night.

He always haunted me in my dreams. I knew it wasn't the real him and that Peter had loved me even the second he died. I knew it was all me, and that it was happening because I blamed everything on myself.

Every night, the dream started with the beeping of his heart-beat in the ambulance on the way to the emergency room. My sight was too blurry to make out his face features and his face only looked of a mixture of black, white, and red. The emotions that were bottled up in my throat couldn't come out as if I wasn't the owner of my own body. I wanted to reach out to touch his hand and tell him to hold on, but I myself was dangerously hanging on to the edge of my life/death cliff.

With every blink of my eyes, the color of the ceiling changed, indicating that I was being moved from place to place. And after the fifth blink I was in the hospital room after finishing surgery. The room was quiet, a little too quiet, no one asking me if I was okay or what happened there. Only the deep depression of the room's atmosphere was enough for me to be mentally screaming mercy. I blinked for the sixth time and there he was. Peter's ghost with bloodshot eyes and shaggy grey-black hair. I could see his yellow teeth as he hissed his disgust towards me.

That damned ice cream, Tigerlily. It killed me. You killed me!

He got on top of me and started choking my neck. I could feel the veins of my neck standing out with the struggle of breathing, but didn't fret and endured his rage upon me. I deserved this, and if I could've died in place of Peter, I would have done it a hundred times, over and over again.

I always woke up when I almost lost my consciousness in the dream. Panting and sweating, I shifted under the covers until the alarm clock rang. It was my daily sleep routine; try to sleep, be murdered, wake up, and stay awake in fright for the rest of the night. No wonder the dark-circles made me look like the grim reaper. Now I only needed a scythe to make the look official.

I stripped off my clothes and took a shower in cool water. I didn't like hot showers; the humidity made the choking feeling come back from the night before. The cool water trickled down my face to the bottom of my feet and the sensation of the sweat being washed away made me feel fresh.

After I finished my shower, I put on the most normal clothes I could find, a gray hoodie that said "BORN TO BE" in big bold letters and a pair of faded jeans. I usually wore black t-shirts, black jeans, black make-up and everything black, and trust me, I wasn't gothic. (Not that I didn't like gothic people, they were awesome.) I just liked the fact that black had no color, but it was made of all the colors put into one.

Why did I put on normal clothes today? Because today was a historical day for 16-year-old Tiana Kings's life. I was going to school.

I was home-schooled since Peter died. I couldn't stand it outside, stand it when I saw the cars, roads, and especially ICE CREAM. The word pun, 'I scream ice cream' is not a joke to me. It breaks me down.

I had overcome my trauma with cars, and could ride them for a short time without puking now. But when I concentrated on them, I felt suffocated and trapped in a box.

Whenever I had a major breakdown, I needed Pete, the CD player Peter had given me the day he died. I took it with me everywhere, everyday. It was now my favorite thing.

The worst things were the words. "Always," he had said. The word had turned my world upside down. And it was the word that I couldn't hold myself back the most. Whenever I heard the word, I was forced back into the memories, the awful memories that bound me tightly in my inner cell where I was locked up. I could never escape.

"Tiana, breakfast's ready!" Mom shouted from downstairs. She knew I was awake, and she knew about the nightmares. She didn't do anything about them, and although she didn't show anything, I knew that deep inside her, she thought it was my fault too and that I deserve them. They were consequences I had to deal with since my brother died for me. He was her only blood-related child, and I killed him. It was definitely enough for her to resent me.

"Getting right there!" I hollered back. I was an obedient girl only to my parents. I couldn't be troublesome to them, because I was afraid they would abandon me. They too would leave me, just like everyone else did. So I stayed cheerful, passive, and obedient in front of them. And they too, acted as if they loved me and it wasn't my fault.

When I got downstairs, Ben was already half-done eating. After the accident, Ben and I gradually got distant, or should I say, I shut him out. He had extended his hand out to me numerous times, but I didn't take it. I was afraid that if I let anyone into my heart as far as Peter went, my heart might be crushed again. And now he had given up, and hated me. So genuinely, I had no one on my side. Heck, I didn't even have myself.

The smell of bacon and eggs made my stomach growl. Mom chuckled as she sat the plate down on the table. "Got a bear in your tummy, darling. What are you going to do at school when it's class and you have nothing to put into your mouth?"

"I'm going to eat my toes. They'll be full of fat." I smiled. Ben snorted.

Mom wrinkled her nose. "Yum," she said sarcastically. She turned to Ben. "You'll take her to school, won't you Ben? Show her around and stuff?"

Ben's eyes flickered from his bacon to me for a short moment, and I could see his expression in the corner of my eye. It definitely wasn't a thrilled look.

"Sure, if she doesn't freak out and run away again," he said with his mouth full.

"Ben, that was rude. You know Tiana and her... trauma," Mom scolded him.

"Mom, it's okay. I'm not going to freak out today," I tried to say in the most reassuring tone. I was lying. I would try not to, but I was sure that I would freak out today.

"Oh, sure," Ben said rolling his eyes. "Says the girl who ran back home last time because there were too many cracks on the sidewalk before we even got to the school."

"Ben, do not start this argument again. I've heard enough," Mom said firmly. "If you do not want to give her a tour, then she can just call Emma and she'll show her around."

"I can do that. I'd like that much more." I glared at him.

"Fine, suit yourself," He growled as he put down his fork. "I'm done. Have a nice day at school. I hope I don't see you there." He slammed the front door behind him.

"Well, that was a show." I let out a deep breath. My mom sighed with an exhausted face and turned around to go upstairs to her own bedroom.

My phone vibrated and I immediately answered the call from Emma.

"T, wanna go to school together?" Emma asked. Emma had been my best friend since kindergarten. She was the one I had let in, and shown a little of myself. She knew about my brother and his death and also the part that it was my fault. She didn't talk about it much, but when I came to think of it, she never talked about anything much.

"Thanks, but I'll walk alone. I'll see you there," I said. I actually wanted to go alone because I didn't want anyone to see if I started crying.

"Are you sure, T? I mean, it's not that I can't trust you in coming here without panicking, but I'm still nervous. I'll go with you, I insist. Besides, you might die because you miss me so much. We haven't seen each other for..."

"Seven hours," I answered for her.

"Yeah, seven." I could hear her grinning at the end of the line.

"Emma, you're too kind. I actually have Ben with me today," I lied. Lying to Emma was easy to me, partly because she knew most of them weren't true and partly because she didn't ask anything about what it was.

"Okay, have a... safe walk? I don't know. Bye." I could see that my walk to school was uncomforting her too. She was worried that I'd freak out again.

I slung my backpack that only had admission sheets and Pete in it, and checked my face in the mirror for the last time. "Ow!" I scowled as I bumped my knee against the shoeplace. I sighed as I felt the throbbing pain pulse through my leg. Yup, definitely going to bruise.

It was going to be a long day.

I walked into the classroom. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, because I had expected a total disaster. I had avoided looking at all things and had just glued my eyes on the sidewalk blocks this time. I knew the way to school by heart, because I had gone there in my mind millions of times. Luckily, either the cracks were mending themselves, or my eye-sight was getting worse, there weren't many cracks on the sidewalks and I got to the school safely. Stage 1, successfully passed.

I sat in the seat in the back and the most corner as possible. I didn't want to attract any attention at all. I was just going to look straight and leave when the bell rang. It was simple. Just two rules.

People came in one by one, holding their starbucks coffees, laughing with friends, or drowsily sleepwalking. I tried to avoid meeting eyes with anyone and just stared at my phone, vigorously typing messages to Emma.

Me: Where the hell are you?

Em: In the front row!

Me: What? Why are you in the front row? :/

Em: I listen to the teacher's lecture? Duh.

Me: Oh yeah. You're a good student. I rolled my eyes.

Em: Come up here to the front.

Me: Yeah, like that'll happen. XD

Em: Shut up.

I was just about to get up from my seat when the bell rang and the teacher walked in. Sighing, I just plopped back in my seat.

"I'm calling attendance," The teacher announced without greeting the students. "Olive."

"Here."

"David."

"Here."

I was pretty sure my name was last on the list because I was a new student. Sure enough, I was left waiting.

"Parker."

I almost flinched when I heard the name. It started with a 'P' and ended with an 'er'. It was such a small similarity to Peter, but it was enough to make me feel a little nauseous.

When there was no answer, everyone started whispering.

"No Parker? Well, that's strange," he said. "Chloe."

"Here." A voice cooed from the right of where I was seated. I looked in the direction, and there she was. The type of girl I had only read in teenage romance books. Except she was much, non-barbie girlish than I'd imagined in my head.

Her hair was dark brown and rolled into big fat curls that ornamented her head like a christmas tree with decorations. Accessories dangling on every body part, clothes clinging onto her curvy body like skin, sparkly eyeshadow that glittered so that even I, who was four seats away from her, could see the massive amount of it, all made her presence known. I could almost see her personality under her pretty face, just like all the evil and sceme-making pretty dolls in books. Her eyelashes were batting so fast that I almost thought she had gotten something in her eyes.

"Woah," I said out loud and I immediately cupped my hand over my mouth in regret. Everyone turned to look at me, including Chloe.

"Tiana Kings?" The teacher directed at me.

"Here," I squeaked.

"Welcome to our school. I'm Mr. Evans, your English teacher." He stared at me as he tried to read my personality through my looks. He smiled slightly as if he was pleased that I wasn't wearing a mini-skirt.

You'll be surprised when you find out I'm not normal at all. I was tempted to say.

Just then, the door to our classroom opened, and everyone's attention shifted from me to the door and the person behind it.

"Parker!" A boy yelled in the front. That name again. I didn't like it, for sure.

Then he walked in. The first thing I noticed were his blue eyes. They were captivating icy blue, and strangely, I had the feeling that they were cold as if there were no emotion in them. His black hair was tangled as was his expression, like he went through some trouble getting here. His high cheekbones made him look dignified along with his outstanding eyebrows. His body was well built, and I looked around at everyone else to find the girls drooling all over him. Okay, gorgeous? Check.

"I'm sorry I'm late Mr. Evans. I was caught in terrible traffic today," he said with a weary smile.

"It's fine, Parker. Anything for our best student." He was the best student? Handsome, and smart? What was with this guy? God was not fair when he made humans!

"Thank you for understanding." He nodded politely and scanned the classroom for a seat.

Oh my god. I gasped as I noticed that the only seat that was empty was the seat next to mine. This is a nightmare.

"Hey, can I sit here or is this seat taken?" He smiled at me.

I didn't like this boy. This Mr. Perfect. His name, his looks, his brain, all made me feel so small and angry. Just before I could answer anything, Mr. Evans interrupted.

"You can sit there. She's Tiana Kings, and she's new," Mr. Evans said instead of me.

I locked eyes with him, and noticed the icy cold feeling again. They had no emotion in them whatsoever.

"I see. Nice to meet you, Tiana," he said as he took the seat next to me. The voice was full of bluff, but everyone was buying it. Except for me. This boy was not what he seemed. I didn't understand how I could tell by just looking at his eyes, but I was sure of it. The boy had secrets. Whatever they were, the boy looked dangerous. I had to stay away from this guy, as far as possible.

For some reason, he reminded me of Peter.

A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you're enjoying this book!

So, what do you think about Tiana? Will she be okay and can she endure the new high school life?
What about Parker, the mysterious Mr. Perfect? What do you think of him?

I love to read your comments so please leave some! If you liked the story press that star on the bottom of the page to let me know your love and support!

It really makes me want to write more and more!

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

-Angelina