Aunt Parker,

Do you remember my ninth birthday? You ended up in the hospital because you were in a car accident. I remember because Mom and Dad were so worried about you that Dad almost set the house on fire when he dropped a match on the table trying to light the candles on my birthday cake. Dad told me that a drunk man had run a red light and driven straight into your car and that you were lucky to be alive.

I remember that day because it was the day I thought I was going to lose you. Mom was crying and dad was beside himself and I just sat there. I didn't move, I didn't speak, I didn't cry. I just sat there, staring at this silly sign about washing your hands without really thinking about what it said.

I was thinking about death, and how if you had died I would never have had the chance to tell you the million things I wish I had told you. I didn't want you to die, because you are my family. But everybody dies someday. I know that now.

I remember that day because Dad told me that you cheated death. He said you shouldn't be alive, and that you had four broken ribs and a punctured lung. He said you were lucky. Can you believe it? You were on the verge of death and he said you were lucky. What I'm trying to say is, you already cheated death once, so keep doing it until you're ready. Until you can't cheat it anymore.

I have seen a lot people die during all of this. People we love. Mom, Shane, Hershel, Beth, Glenn, Abraham and everyone we've ever met. We never forget them, because although they aren't here anymore, physically, they gave us something much more precious. They touched our hearts and let us know what it really meant to love someone. 

I remember the Atlanta group, what it was like before everything started to change. I remember all those people we lost, and how you, Dad, Daryl, Carol and I are the only ones left from that group. Just you four now. I believe that as long as anyone from Atlanta is alive, there will always be people around to tell our story and keep the rest of the group going. That group, those people, came so far that there is nothing that can stop them. We need people like them. Like you.

I know everyone considers dad to be the leader, but at the end of the day, you're the one who kept us together. Like I said before, you're the glue, Aunt Parker. Dad came up with the plans and was the face of this war with Negan and everything that happened before, but you were the one on the sidelines, keeping everyone together while staying out of sight.

Without you, we would never have gotten as far as we did. You were so reasonable and so careful with your decisions, and I think that's one of the main reasons I am who I am today. You made me realize that not everyone is a bad person, that's why I helped Siddiq. The whole world cannot be bad, because our group, our family, we're the good ones and we need to keep going.

You need to find a way to stop the fighting and live together in peace with the Saviors. The new world cannot be based on annihilating everyone who represents a threat to our safety. There have to be negotiations, mutual understandings. I think Negan can be reasoned with. You just have to give him the reason to try.

I have a lot more I want to say that I wish I could write, but I'm running out of space on the page and I have a couple more things to say that I think are more important.

Don't lose who you are, Aunt Parker. Don't become someone you're not. Don't be sad because I'm gone. I know you will be, and I know you're probably crying as you read this, but please don't be sad. I don't want you to get lost, I want you to know that I made the decision to help Siddiq and I don't regret it.

I'm just sorry I'll never get to meet your children. I hope at least one has Daryl's nose and a cute smile, and that you love them as much as you love me. Love both of them more. I want you to love them as if every day could be your last, because you never know when that day could be.

As for Daryl, I always knew that the two of you would end up together. I was rooting for you guys from the beginning, in Atlanta. He's a great guy and being able to call him my uncle was a relief because I know how happy he makes you. You were lucky to find him regardless, and seeing you together makes it pretty clear that you and Daryl will be the last man and woman standing. No matter what happens, you two will get through anything that comes your way.

Take care of Judith. Take care of dad. Don't let him blame himself for this. Don't let Judith grow up and not know who I am. I love you, Aunt Parker, and you will always be the cool coach to me, even though baseball Fridays are now a distant memory.

I'll see you again, and when that day comes, I'll be waiting for you with everyone else, and we'll have the baseball ready to celebrate the fact that we all made it as far as we did, no matter how long or short it was.

I will always be with you, and I'll keep my eye on you (get it? because I only have one) while I wait for the day I get to see you again.

I will see you again. I hope that day is far from now, but I will be waiting for that day.

I love you forever. It's you and me, Aunt Parker.

With all my love, Carl