Big Brother and Fatherly Duties
They buried Dale the next morning and Parker stayed with Daryl, resting her head on his shoulder as they listened to Rick's speech. "Dale could.. could get under your skin." Rick began. "He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it, one time or another. I couldn't always read him... but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us. The truth. Who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said that this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and take control of our lives, our safety... our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale." As they walked back to the farm after the funeral, Rick caught up with Parker. "Hey, are you okay?" She nodded.
"I'm okay."
"Listen, no matter what you think, it wasn't your fault." Rick said.
"Look, nothing is going to convince me that it wasn't," Parker responded. "I arrived too late. I was right there and I couldn't help him."
"Don't blame yourself," Rick whispered. "Dale wouldn't want you to."
"Dale also told me I have to hold onto hope," Parker mumbled. "But it seems pretty difficult to do that now."
"You'll be fine, P," Rick said, using the nickname he gave her when they were kids. It was just one single letter but for some reason it made her feel better. Parker nodded and allowed Rick to hold her as they walked side by side.
"I can't lose that hope. Not now." She let out a quiet sigh.
"No," Rick agreed, shaking his head. "You have to hold on to that."
"Did you kill Randall?" Parker asked. "With everything that happened, I forgot to ask."
"No," Rick replied. "Carl came in and then I thought about what you and Dale had said. You guys were right. He's just a kid." Parker nodded with a sad smile on her face.
"Dale would have been happy to know that."
"Parker, I have to ask..." Rick spoke, suddenly sounding serious. "What's going on with you and Daryl?" Parker rolled her eyes as she looked at her feet.
"Nothing. He's just been helping me out."
"I don't believe you," Rick shook his head at her answer. "I know when you lie. I'm your older brother."
"Really?" Parker asked. "How can you tell when I lie?"
"You always look at your feet," Rick explained. "Every. Single. Time."
"No, I don't," Parker protested.
"Yes, you do. You've done it since we were kids," Rick chuckled. "Don't lie to me, Parker. I just want to know the truth."
"Look, Rick," Parker heaved a sigh. "I don't know what's going on with us. We're still figuring it out, okay? Please don't get all protective big brother on him."
"I won't," Rick promised. "As long as you're happy." Parker smiled.
"I am."
"Good," Rick nodded. "You deserve to be happy, Parker."
"You do too," Parker responded when they reached their tents. "We all deserve happiness. Especially now." Hershel recommended that everyone move into his house, because with the walkers breaking down the fences and killing Dale in his backyard, no one was too eager to sleep outside, and Hershel, who had gotten used to them being there, was more than willing to provide them with a space in the house.
"It's going to be tight," Rick said. "Fifteen people in one house."
"Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardening and the creek drying up.."
"With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell," Maggie finished.
"She's right," Hershel agreed with his daughter. "We should have moved you in a while ago."
"Alright," Rick gave in. "Let's move the vehicles near each of the doors, facing out toward the road. We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That could give us sightlines. Both sides of the property. T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house, keep track of everyone coming and going."
"What about standing guard?" T-Dog asked.
"Well, I need you and Daryl on double duty," Rick responded.
"Gotcha."
"I'll keep an eye on Randall," Parker offered.
"I appreciate the offer, but I'd rather you didn't," Rick shot down her offer, his eyes pleading with her not to fight back, and Parker didn't argue.
"I'll stock the basement with food and water," Hershel announced, carrying a milk crate. "Enough that we can all survive a few days there if need be."
"And the patrols?" Andrea asked.
"Let's get this area locked down first," Rick answered, patrols not being the biggest thing on his checklist. "After that, Shane'll assign shifts, while Daryl and I take Randall off-site and cut him loose."
"Were back to that now?" Shane asked with a mocking tone.
"It was the right plan first time around," Rick defended his choice, noting the gleam in Parker's eyes when he spoke. "Poor execution."
"That's a slight understatement," Shane muttered.
"Got something you want to share with the class, Shane?" Parker asked loudly, a smug smile on her face at the anger that was evident on his.
"You don't agree, but this is what's happening," Rick told him. "Swallow it. Move on."
"You know that Dale's death and the prisoner.. that's two separate things, right?" Shane asked. "You wanna take Daryl as your wingman.. be my guest."
"Thank you," Rick walked away tired of listening to him.
"You got it," Shane mumbled. Parker packed her things and headed to the house, noticing Carl's face. He looked like he was deep in thought.
"Hey, are you okay?" Carl nodded at her, trying to walk away.
"Yes."
"That was believable," Parker said sarcastically. "Come on, talk to me." She stopped Carl from walking and Lori turned to them.
"Is something wrong?"
"We'll be there in a minute," Parker waved her on, moving Carl out of earshot. "Come on, what's going on?"
"The walker that killed Dale," Carl said quietly, as if afraid of his own words. "I saw him before. I went out into the swamps and he was in the mud with the other one. I was throwing rocks and stuff at him, and I was going to shoot him in the head, but he got out and I got scared and ran away. If I had killed him, Dale would still.."
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Carl Grimes." Parker interrupted. "Don't you dare. What happened to Dale wasn't your fault, okay?"
"Mom and Dad said that you blame yourself," Carl looked up at her. "Why?"
"Because I was there and I couldn't do anything to help him," Parker answered. "But Carl, it wasn't your fault. No more than it was mine. If you blame yourself now, you'll never stop doing it. I swear, it wasn't your fault." Carl nodded.
"I feel bad."
"Me too," Parker hugged her nephew. "But Dale wouldn't want us to be sad, okay? He'd want us to keep living."
"Okay," Carl responded. Parker held out her hand and he took it.
"Let's go inside." She knew he couldn't let this go without talking to his father, because she knew Carl needed to hear it from Rick too. Once Carl was safe, Parker ventured out onto the porch and heard Rick and Daryl talking.
"So you and Parker?" Rick asked. "What's going on with you guys?"
"Not much," Daryl hesitated slightly. He had heard plenty of stories from Parker about how Rick acted when it came to guys she liked.
"Do you care about her?"
"Yeah," Daryl answered with a slight nod of his head. Parker could hear the smile in Rick's voice as he spoke.
"That's good. I saw the way you were with her this morning. I appreciate you keeping an eye on her. She doesn't have a big history with guys."
"Yeah, I assumed so," Daryl responded. "I ain't gonna hurt her."
"Good, because if you do, you know I'll have to kill you, right?" Rick asked, and although Parker realized he was joking, Daryl laughed nervously.
"Sure. Well, you don't have to worry about that," Daryl assured him, and then added as an afterthought, "I'd like to see you try to kill me." Parker smiled slightly as she walked around the corner.
"Hello, Rick. Hello, Daryl."
"Hey, Parker." They greeted.
"Rick, can I talk to you for a second?" Parker asked. Daryl noticed the tension in her shoulders and knew this would be a private conversation.
"Gonna take a piss."
"Rick, I was talking to Carl," Parker started, looking around to make sure everyone was far enough away. "He doesn't want me to say anything, but yesterday he was in the swamps. He found a walker stuck in the mud. He got scared, he ran away."
"The same walker that killed Dale?" Rick guessed from how antsy she seemed. Parker nodded.
"Exactly."
" I'll have Lori talk to him," Rick sighed.
"No, don't make it harder," Parker replied. "He needs his dad. He'll want to talk to you."
"Well, I need this Randall thing to be over," Rick told her.
"Then tell me what to do," Parker countered. "Or the Randall thing can wait."
"Randall's my problem. This is my call." Rick argued.
"And Carl is your son!" Parker whisper shouted. "He needs you. He needs his father. Look, if you don't want me to go, then send Shane."
"Talking about me?" Shane asked, walking over with a smug smirk on his face. Parker sighed, wanting nothing more than to be away from Shane right now.
"Rick, just... talk to Carl, okay? He needs you. We all do."
"Yeah, okay. I will."
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