It is hard.

It is hard to bring the coffin on his shoulder himself and bring it to the whole that is going to be her home forever. Tony heart wants to bring the coffin home and let Hermione resides in her new room forever yet he knows it's not going to be good even if it happens. He doesn't want her daughter suffer or haunts his penthouse, although if that means he can see Hermione again.

It is hard to watch as the coffin gradually moves downward into the centre of the Earth especially when Tony knows Hermione is in there in her best black dress with her eyes close as if she's sleeping. Well, yes, she's sleeping. Sleeping forever. Tony wonders how's that feels. His father; his mother. His former friend Stain. Even Yinsen, the guy who helped him built his first ever Iron Man robit in the cave. He wonders how does it feel like to sleep forever.

Tony can't keep his eyes off the coffin. He continues to stare at it. He didn't tears his gaze off the coffin even when closed friends giving speech. His red eyes worries Pepper, but does he care? No. Because his own daughter -- one an only daughter -- is dead. There'll be no more talking to her, no teasing her, no arguing with her. Until then, Tony knows he will get drunk by drinking all his precious alchohol and talks to himself as if he talks to Hermione about those alchohol she once begged to taste.

He didn't listen to any of those speech. He didn't move when they called him to do the speech because he doesn't have any energy to give them verbally. He just can't say what he feels aloud when Hermione is not here any more. He feels useless. While sitting there, staring at the coffin, he gives them speech through his heart, in which he hopes Hermione could hear, could understand. Or better yet, let God passes the message to her.

The time passes so fast. Then, everyone starts to leave. Tony's baffled when he feels a squeeze on his shoulder. His heart falls for a second, because the hand that squeezes his shoulder was small but firm. For a second he thought it was Hermione. But when he turns, he was actually disapponted to see Natasha.

"Nat," he greets the woman after collecting himself. He swears he almost cried in front of Widow a few seconds ago.

Natasha didn't reply the greet, but she stays there beside Tony. It looks as if there's something she wants to say to Iron Man.

Sighing, she says, "I'm sorry, Stark. For your lost, for...everything."

It takes Tony a full 15 seconds to reply. "Yeah, I'm sorry, too," he says lowly. His voice was very hoarse and gruff in pain,

"No. I'm really sorry," Natasha says it again, confusing Tony.

He turns and looks up at Natasha, frowning. He begins to feel angry when a bad thought comes across his mind. "What did you do, Ramanoff?" he asks.

Embarrassed with herself, she didn't dare to look at Tony into his eyes. "Hermione. While she was...alive I've been treating her badly."

"Huh." Tony sighs in relief. At least she didn't harm Hermione physically. "I've veen wondering why."

"Jealousy."

"Jealousy?"

"Yeah," Natasha answers under her breath as if she didn't even want to say it. "We're the same yet different."

"Explain to me, please," Tony demands. "I don't have time to ponder."

"Your daughter," Natasha says. "She's an assassin. Well, former assassin. Like me before I was a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. She's tough, smart, beautiful. Like me."

"Complimenting yourself?"

For the first time after 36 hours, Natasha chuckles a little for the unintended joke. And she feels good to see the end of Tony's lips twitches. "I'm just stating the fact," she defends herself. "Her life is the definition of my life except that I don't have a father. That's what made me jealous of her."

Tony's heart squeezes with Natasha's confession. First, he just feels sympathy towards the Widow. So serious, so emotionless, sassy, mature, yet who knows if she actually has a feeling on a girl that is barely 20 years old? Second, Tony just can't believe that Natasha trusts him enough to tell her old life. Everyone knows Natasha has trust issues at some point, but because of Hermione, she's able to let him knows why she's been so hard on her.

The man is speechless. He couldn't find forms of words to reply her. He just continues to stare at Hermione's grave, praying that Hermione hears this so she won't haunt Natasha for some silly unfinished business.

"That's okay, Stark," Natasha speaks, breaking his thought. "I'm not asking asking for your apologies. I just thought you would want to know. It's about her after all. Everybody loves her."

Again, Tony doesn't know what to respond. He only shrugs and nods his head understood, knowing Natasha could see him.

Without another word, Natasha leaves, leaving him alone again there. He wants to turn around to see if there's anyone there waiting for him, but he knows they weren't anyone. They don't know Hermione as much as he knows her. If they've left already, granting Tony's wish to he alone, then Tony must admit that they're indeed good friends, knowing what Tony wants in his bitter condition.

However, Tony's expectation was proved wrong, when he hears Steve's voice behind him.

"I'm sorry, Tony," he says. "Helen has been nothing but a good friend of mine -- and the others, too. Her lost really affects us as much as it affects you."

"Thank you for your understanding, Captain," Tony replies after a few seconds. "Your speech was indeed brilliant. Never heard something so powerful."

Steve huffs. Shoving his hands into his jeans, he approaches Tony, who's still sitting in front of his daughter's grave. "I thought you didn't hear."

"Only the first few parts and the last part," Tony answers honestly. "I know how you mean so much to her. And Clint. You guys seem close."

"She's a good kid," Steve mutters lpud enough for Tony to hear. "Oh, hey, listen. They're taking out Lukas's coffin. They're asking you to where to bury him."

"Asking me?" Tony looks at Steve Rogers in shock. "Why would they ask me? Just bury him anywhere or just burn him to ashes and throw them to the ocean. Done. I don't even care about him."

"Think about it, Tony," Steve tries to melt his colleague's heart. "Lukas is her best friend. She would hate it to see her best friend graveless."

"He killed her!" Tony hisses. "You think I would even listen to her if she's not dead? No and never. So go burn him. Tell him Hell says hi to him."

Steve sighs in defeat. "Okay," he says. "I've got to go then."

"Okay."

After a few minutes Steve left him, Tony decides that it's time for him to leave. It's hard to leave. It is. But he knows he can come again tomorrow. If he can't, he can read Harry Potter to release his sadness. If he can't read, he can stay in Hermione's room. If he can't do that either, he can do other stuffs. No one can stop him because he's Tony Stark.

He gets up to his feet, approach Hermione's coffin, kneeling beside it. "Good bye, Helen," he says. "I'm come again tomorrow." He kisses his fingers and taps them on the coffin.

THE END