His smell engulfed my senses. It was fresh, intoxicating, calming. It was a mixture of fresh rain and something sweet.

Edward's hug surprised me, his presence in general brought me to be a speechless lunatic. I never meant to cry or shed a tear, that showed weakness. Something I despised myself for.

He was short, maybe two inches smaller than I was, but his hug was still comforting. I felt safe, maybe even a little clam. I don't wrap my arms around him though.

I kept my arms at my side while his wrapped around my back securely. "Why're you crying?" Edward's asks softly.

"I'm not," I deny with a sniffle.

"Y/n, I can see those tears on your face," Edward points out a little firmly this time. He pulls away just enough to look at me.

I was able to see his golden eyes clearly and even notice his skin got a little bit tanner. It was then I realized he was close—too close for that matter. My heartbeat ruptured against my chest violently.

My blood thrumming inside me wildly. I was beginning to panic. I didn't want him near me. Not like this.

"Aah, you're too close, Edward!" I push him away slightly as I get myself out of his bind. We both stumble the opposite direction, both surprised.

Edward seemed shocked though, his arms still outstretched while he blinked to process my reaction. "I—I was giving you a hug!" Ed quickly defends.

I shake my head in answer while I cleared my throat awkwardly. Unconsciously, I felt my metal arm rub against my other. I didn't know what to say for I was too flustered.

My stomach doing an abnormal of flips and twists. There was a moment of silence between us and it felt like an eternity. When I finally gained the courage to glance at him I noticed the rouge color coating his cheeks and the way he glared at the floor. It was like it did him some personal wrong.

"Well," I clear my throat once more as I squared my shoulders. I turn away. "I'm fine now."

I slump down on my bed, sighing in the process. I said it in a way to hint his leave, if he stayed here longer——well, my heart wouldn't be able to take it. This harsh beating in my ears only made me flustered than ever before.

Yet, seeing him here in my room while I wished to be alone with my thoughts only made me desire my peace and quiet again. But Edward was the type to not give up——or even understand what it meant to be nosy.

"Don't give me that," he sighs as he sits beside me. He made sure to keep a reasonable distance between us, though his left hand was placed atop the mattress. I almost felt as though it was begging me to touch it—to hold it.

When that abrupt thought bursts into mind my spine straightens instantly. Heat rises to my cheeks and I quickly turn away. I could feel Ed's eyes on me.

"Something wrong?" He questions curiously. I shake my head vigorously, begging for my hair to act like a barrier.

"N-no," I mutter as I try to get my act together. "I told you—I'm fine."

"So you were just crying because for the fun of it."

"For your information, I had dust in my eye."

Edward scoffs loudly, "What a load of crap!" He exclaims. "You know as well as I do that you can't lie."

I slowly began to simmer in irritation. Was he just looking to pick a fight? I know I couldn't lie even if my life depended on it, but that doesn't mean he could use that pry my problems out of me.

I whirl to him eyes blazing and lips downturned. He sees the boiling annoyance burning inside me, and surprisingly he matches my look.

"Why can't you just say okay and leave it at that?" I demand hotly.

"Because you walked past me earlier!" He exclaims with a narrowed glare. "I haven't seen you in months and you walk past me like I was some stranger. Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

"Embarrassing for who?" I challenge. "For your ego? So what if I walked past you. Winry greeted you, right?"

He huffs loudly as he crosses his arms. He doesn't say another word. Instead, he childishly looks away like some pouting kid. His bottom lip stuck out with his eyes narrowed.

I stare at him for a long minute but he still doesn't speak. I only huff in triumph——guess that shut him up. I wanted to irritate him more maybe even prove my point better, but I couldn't do any of those things.

A rush of pain executes just below my stomach. The wild rush of liquid coming to my throat, I found myself withholding a cough. But I knew that wouldn't last forever.

It was all happening so fast, my cheeks puffing out in each second. I could taste it all——could taste the strong tangy liquid. Could feel the warmness filling my mouth. I stand suddenly and bolted out the bedroom.

"Y/n?" I hear Ed call for me. I don't turn back no matter how many times he called. I needed the toilet and I needed it fast.

Fumbling with the door, I push it open and drop myself before the toilet. I couldn't hold it any longer nor could it stay inside me. Blood spurted out my mouth like a rapid waterfall.

It turned the water into a murky red, the blood wouldn't stop coming. I coughed and I choked, my stomach churning through it all. I barely heard the rushed footsteps entering the bathroom.

"Hey, are you okay?" Edward's voice was layered in concern. I could feel his eyes on me—wide in fear. I managed to speak but not in the way I'd hoped.

"Does it——does it look like I'm fine?" I wheeze before coughing up more blood. I almost expected some snarky remark from Edward, but never received one.

Instead he moves closer to me and gently holds up my hair. "What else am I supposed to say?" He mutters.

Before long his free hand had made its way to the square of my back. He rubbed it soothingly attempting to make me as comfortable as possible. I coughed some more and vomited a little.

I grimaced when blood slithered down my chin. I wish he wasn't here to see this. When I finally finished I tried to reach for the handle, but my vision was too hazy.

My joints suddenly became too heavy. It was like someone had tied bricks to my body.

"It's okay," Edward mumbles. "I got it." He swiftly flushes the toilet and I watch as the blood slowly drains away. He helps my feet before taking me back to my room. I let him do as he wished, my strength was completely diminished.

"Has it gotten worse?" He finally asks as I finally settle in my bed. He brings a chair to the bedside as I laid atop the mattress, staring at the ceiling. "Same as always," I reply dryly. "I cough up blood, I loose my strength——it's been normal."

It was normal, for the past four years this was my life. Of course I hated it all, hated how weak I looked and how brittle my system became. But it was my punishment.

A reminder to never commit something so dangerous as human transmutation. The longer I stared at the ceiling the more I could remember that night. Remember my horrified screams when I couldn't feel my left arm or the fact that risking my own life didn't bring her back.

My mother didn't come back to me. I bite down my tongue to keep away the tears. I knew Ed was talking, but drowned out most of it. I only caught on to the end of his lecture.

"Y/n, taking your medicine is important, you know that. So why do you keep avoiding it?"

I swallow thickly, forcing myself to look at him. "What makes you ask that?"

"Because the times you did your side effects weren't this severe," he states. He presses his lips and eyes me with such firmness.

I almost felt as if he could see right through my mask. Like he could read every thought on my mind. I harden my expression and even my gaze. I wouldn't let him see that side of me—not ever.

"I'm too exhausted for this, Ed," I groan. "Can't you just leave me be?"

I knew my words stung him, I made it so. Even when I turned to face the wall I already knew how hurt he was. But of course, he wouldn't let it show. Not because of me.

"Fine," he exhaled sharply. I listen to him roughly stand before stomping towards the door. I swallow thickly my chest aching all too much now. I clench down my teeth as I will myself not to hastily apologize and beg him to stay. "I'll let you know when dinner's ready."

He finally leaves after that, but not before he slammed my door shut. I felt the angry in that, especially the hurt for the way I've been treating him. I sigh softly, I was never like this. Not to him.

It's just—I was tired and bored. I can't leave this place, can't escape my never ending nightmare. No matter how much I wished it.

And seeing him and Al now only made my guilt stronger. Because of what I did I wouldn't have been a handicap—I wouldn't have to constantly fight for my life with each cough I released. And knowing much I let them down and my mother—well, the wound was already deep enough.

Ed's presence alone made it stung like salt was being peppered along that fresh wound. No matter how much I cared for him I wished he never came back.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

This was terrible. This was forbidden. Yet, despite the law I knew and how excruciatingly dangerous this was—I was desperate.

Desperate for a mother's touch. For a warm embrace, and the soft comforting words of my mother. She was dead long enough and I couldn't handle the fact I was alone anymore.

With father wasting his life away with alcohol and constantly torturing me I knew I needed her. And once she was back we would go away together and be happy like before. Father had been gone for weeks now and I've lost the care to know where.

All I knew was that this was my chance, and I was going to seize it like a starving animal. The transmutation circle was drawn on the floor, a pile of elements laid in the middle. I stare at it all with a hesitant gaze.

It's going to work, I reassure myself. With an aunt who specializes in alchemy I knew I was prepared. Quickly I kneel before the circle hands atop the chalk marks.

"Okay," I murmur shakily. "Here it goes."

With one huff I've activated the symbols within the circle, allowing alchemy to take course. I willed my mind to think of my mother and how the elements are enough to create a human being. I watch as the translucent blue lights flicker around the living room.

The lights bounced off each wall before surrounding the physical elements. I couldn't help but smile. Mother was coming back and I wouldn't be alone anymore. My life would be whole again.

The light in the center became brighter making my heart leap in anticipation, but the sudden change to purple surprised me. The dark purplish color sprang from the center, darkening the room. I raise a brow with a fractured smile.

"What's going on?" I ask aloud. The elements suddenly disappear and a huge eye blinks open in its place. There was a sudden chill in the room causing goosebumps to appear over my flesh.

My primal instincts abruptly kicked in, telling me to flee. But I couldn't, not when I knew mother was showing up any minute. Black hands shoot up from the circle, ranging about like angry snakes.

I watch in horror as they slowly surround me. I told myself to move—at least a finger, but my muscles wouldn't budge. I was frozen to my spot with eyes wider than they could be.

Those blacks hands slowly wrap around me greeting my skin with a cool touch. Just when I was about to let out a scream everything turned black—then white. And there stood an odd white figure before me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

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