What if you died instead of Rufio?

It was a new but terrifying sound that shook him to the core. 

His head whirled to the direction of the sound, not even caring about his dying adversary who was desperately trying to not bleed. 

It felt like time had stopped in a way.

Most of the lost boys had stopped fighting, and it was a worrying sight. Felix shared a look with Devin, whose eyes looked as equally scared as his. Then, they took off, jumping over moaning bodies and corpses, not even caring about the men trying to hold them off. 

There was someone important to them upstairs with Hook. 

Felix prayed it was not that. But his gut was telling him otherwise. He opened Hook's room with a strong kick, not caring about Devin behind him, and stopped right on his tracks. 

There she was, sprawling across the hard ground, her hands trying to contain the blood of a heavy wound. His blue eyes flickered to the captain, a gun in his hand, breathing heavily. He had scratches on his face, his black hair was disheveled. 

"I was just defending myself." His voice was shaking but he was trying to hide it. It was clear he was awfully frightened by the consequences of his actions. 

"(Y/N)!" Felix knelt down with a cry and grabbed her face softly, as he was scared to hurt her more. 

"Hey... You were right." She gave him a tired smile. "I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have gone here alone." 

"Get Pan! Now!" The blond haired boy roared at the other one who was frozen from the sight. Rolling his eyes, Felix scooped up the injured girl in his arms, holding her close. "Don't close your eyes yet please!" He implored her as he took long strides to the land.

"Everyone has their time to go right?" She continued, and he did want to smack her for speaking that way. "I am so tired, I feel like... like I am drunk." 

"Pan!" The boy called up again as he attempted to race to the camp.

"Felix please let go, you are hurting me." She winced and he looked down, and felt instantly dizzy when he saw all the blood tainted to her clothes and his now. "I need to lay down. Please." 

He did as she told him, against what he originally wanted to. He sat down slowly, still holding her close. His hands traveled to her wounds, trying to at least contain the blood. She looked awfully sick, and her eyes seemed liveless. But it was just an illusion, Felix thought. Pan surely had heard him, he would come in some minutes. 

Deep down, he knew Pan would never come. 

He never had enjoyed having a feminine presence after all. There were other girls sometimes on the island, but they didn't last long: all they wanted was to travel back home. But (Y/N)? She had fit right in. It was strange how Felix desperately wanted to take her side as well whenever she would argue about things with Pan. He never had listened to their arguments, it reminded him of his life before the island and he didn’t like that: so he blocked them. 

"Don't cry please." 

He didn’t realise the tears that started to stream down his face. He cursed at himself for not thinking of her, he was supposed to be the strong one and here he was, crumbling down. She brought one of her hands to his face, cupping it with a small but sweet smile.

"Don't be sad." 

"You are dying." He stated simply and shook his head. "You are too hurt, I can't even..." He bite hard on his lips. "Pan is coming. He will heal you." 

"We both know it's not true." 

The blond haired boy stopped speaking then. He knew she was right. He brought her closer, until her head reached his torso then he laid his head on the top of hers, still crying. She didn't seem to mind the little droplets of tears on her head as she moved to be closer but she couldn't.

"I don't want.... You can't die. There is so much you haven't seen yet." He babbled, not knowing how to handle this situation and she was so, so silent. "What are you thinking about?" 

"I am scared." Her answer was so simple but so heartbreaking. "I did so many bad things, I don’t know... I am scared." She repeated with a choked breath, and hugged him, gripping on his clothes tightly. 

"It's going to be okay, I promise. You are going to be alright." 

“Felix!” 

Another boy jumped in front of them, breathing heavily like he had been running all across the island and with disheveled hair, some torn clothes, and a dagger in his hands. For a moment, the second in command believed it was Pan, that he was finally there but no: it was just Rufio, a boy he could call his closest friend in a way. He knelt down, and looked over at the girl’s injury with a frown.

“Devin is getting Pan.” Felix informed him with a nod.

“Pan… is nowhere to be seen.” Rufio replied in a whisper, trying not to frighten the couple. “I will look for him again. I will be quick, I promise!” He said with a grin, sounding like he was making an empty promise.

“I am afraid I don’t have much time left. I am so tired.” (Y/N) whispered as she watched Rufio leaving. 

“We can rest a little if you want.” 

“That would be nice.” She gave him a soft smile again, and took his bloody hand from her wound and kissed his knuckles. “Thank you for being there for me Felix. I really… appreciate this. You are the best, don’t ever forget that.” 

He didn’t mean to fall asleep that fast but he couldn't help it. He had rocked the girl to sleep, and in his incredible naivety, he really believed she would be alright when they both wake up later. Pan would be there and healing her, he would finally tell her what he felt… Everything will be perfect, everything will be fine, everything will work out in the end. 

But, he didn't expect to be holding a cold corpse in his arms when he woke up. 

Felix put his head on her chest, on the heart's side, checking her pulse. He couldn't hear anything. So, he took her limp wrist and checked again. He cupped her cheeks, and tenderly kissed her forehead, desperately wishing it would wake her up. 

Nothing seemed to work.

His brain completely shut down from that realization: that she was gone and dead, and that nothing could bring her back. So, Felix did the only action he could think of: holding her corpse as close as possible, like he was her protector. He didn’t know how much time he sat there, his eyes lost, just wishing for a miracle to happen. It was cold too, well the corpse was, but the weather seemed like it was grieving as well. It had happened before, for some lost ones that died during battles. In a way, Pan knew. 

It was Devin who found them first, quickly followed by Rufio. Of course, they had tried to take her away from him, except Felix was too stubborn to let go. He told them that maybe she would wake up soon. She was a heavy sleeper after all, always missing the early morning training and loved to prank them. Surely, it was a joke, the second in command believed. There was no way she could be dead. 

Ultimately, after Pan’s arrival, and a little convincing from his part, Felix moved, but didn’t let go of her. Of course, he understood after. When asked where they should bury her, he immediately thought about this conversation some of them had, late at night, talking about how they wanted to be buried. And he remembered clearly what she had told that evening: she wanted a grave on a mountain, near the sea so she could still hear the crashing waves and the melodious singing of the mermaids and to be able to see the sun rise and set… So, this is what they did. It had been hard to put her down to the ground, in a grave filled with her things: weapons, little trinkets, even books after she requested them… 

Everyone left after, like they were in a hurry. No one had said anything as well. And Felix was angry at them: (Y/N) had been a valuable member of their little family, sure she was not like them, but still. She had called those boys her brothers, they had fought together, and went through so much, and that was how they thanked her?! He released a harsh cry into the open sky. They were brats. All of them. Except Pan of course, and Rufio. 

Speaking of the devil, the dark haired boy was waiting for his friend, and watching him closely, really worried. He had witnessed what grief could do to some people, and he knew of Felix’s explosive behavior. He was indeed very worried, because no one seemed to take the second in command’s feelings seriously. No one ever desired to know Felix better anyway, he was just someone rough, cold and hard, at least, that was how he behaved around the camp. The boys knew they had to respect him, or else they would suffer his wrath, and maybe Pan’s. Devin saw past this hard shell as well but he still feared him, being a bit the runt of the lost boys. But Rufio wasn’t scared of him. 

Naturally, he felt bad and mourned for the lost girl's death. Rufio knew it was not an accident, that Pan had planned it from the beginning, since she had shown a slight interest in Felix and how he saw that his own second in command was ultimately falling in love. He really wanted to punch Pan: both of them had numerous verbal fights before, about everything. He was supposed to go into Hook's room to confront the pirate but of course, someone changed the plans.

“It should have been me.” He blurted out without thinking as Felix was back to sitting next to the makeshift grave. “Pan switched our positions last minute.” 

“I don’t like where this is heading, Rufio. Don’t forget that he saved our lives more than once.”

“Fuck Felix! Why can’t you see it?! He did this deliberately, because he hated how close you were to (Y/N)!” He finally yelled, not caring if the leader of the lost boys heard him. “Stop with that “he saved us” bullshit and for once, think by yourself! He sent her to be killed. “Rufio added in a strict tone, his eyes flickering to the grave. “He knew Hook would freak out. He knew because he had threatened us with that gun so many times already.” 

“The pirates are the only ones to blame in this story.” Felix hissed and stood up, approaching his friend dangerously, a wild and ferocious light in his eyes. “And they will pay for this.” 

“I know you want revenge, but the only one we should punish is Pan!” The dark haired boy still insisted, because he knew Felix was suspicious as well. “Believe me, please. He doesn’t care about you.” 

“Spreading lies again Rufio? On this sad and dark day? I thought you knew better.” 

The lost boy rolled his eyes at the sound of this peculiar voice. He didn’t even need to turn around to discover who was behind him. On the other hand, the second in command looked almost relieved that he was there, and tried to be strong again. Having someone weak in the camp seemed to be Pan’s nightmare. The leader of the lost ones patted his second in command on the shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“Don’t be sad Felix. We will get our revenge. This is unfortunately the starting point of our war against Hook, and whatever allies he has.” The brown haired boy announced with a serious voice. “We shall avenge her.” 

Oh, how Rufio wanted to smack the truth out of him. He knew about everything: the arguments between him and (Y/N), how he tried to make her unlikeable to the other boys, but he also knew that girl had her rightful place amongst them. Her treatment by him had not been fair, and he didn’t deserve to start a war in her name. 

He just needed to show the truth to Felix. 

In the meantime, Rufio promised himself to never let go of Felix. He was his friend, and his friend was deeply hurt inside. He needed to be free from Pan. And Rufio swore to release Felix from his grasp. 

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