Author Note: Here is the fourth part! If anyone wants it to be in a single book with a new name, I am open to suggestions!
Have fun! :3

You had avoided Felix since your chat some nights ago. Was he that dumb to not notice how you were all over him? Was that hard to make yourself understandable? Sometimes, you wished you could stay in your tent all day, so you could avoid the life out there. But, of course you couldn’t do that: the boys always needed their mother. You rose with a grunt, clearly upset already. Your body felt heavy lately, and you didn’t feel rested after sleeping for hours. You thought you were ill with some sicknesses that can be caught on Neverland.

So, you needed to talk about it to Pan. Maybe he could heal you. Was he going to understand your feelings though? You weren’t so sure about it, but it was worth a shot. You started to dress up swiftly, and didn’t even check how your hair looked. What was the point in making you pretty anyway? Your days were too long, and you had to move around a lot, digging your hands into prey’s corpses, cooking lunches and dinners… No one would notice.

When you exited your tent, no one was up yet as usual. You and Peter Pan were the first to awaken, quickly followed by Felix who you wanted to avoid at all cost. If you could lure the other boy away from the camp, then it would be successful. You just hoped he wouldn’t mock you for making a fuss about your broken heart and your exhausted state.

“Pan? Can I speak to you, in private please?” You questioned the green eyed boy who was already up and flying around. You took a glimpse quickly at Felix’s tent and sighed in relief when you realised that he was indeed not awake yet. “It’s important.”

“Sure.” He brought you outside the camp, near the guard’s treehouse. “What’s up? You don’t look… yourself lately. Did something happen?”

He was not mad at your poor management of the camp, which was good. That brought a little smile on your face, which faltered immediately when Pan started to speak again, not letting you reply to his question.

“Boys have been complaining to me that you weren’t your happy and innocent self. They need someone to look after them, that’s why you are here.”

“You don’t need to be so mean about it.” You blurted out, not caring about being afraid of his odd punishments. “I feel underappreciated here.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean that I work and care for a lot of people, half don’t even thank me or talk to me. I don’t even have a day for myself. Do you know how many tasks I get done in one morning? Peter, I am exhausted. I don’t even have time to eat or rest properly!” You revealed to him, a bit distressed and out of breath, deciding to be honest and truthful.

Peter Pan stayed quiet for a long moment, his eyes studying and observing your face, as if he was trying to proceed with what you had told him. Did he think you were lying as well? Some had tried to do that a long time ago, and it backfired pretty fast at them. You started to get anxious about his silence, and played with the hems of your shirt in the meanwhile. The soft cotton was calming you down a little, which was good but that wasn’t going to protect you against Pan or his words.

“I understand. I have to admit that I may have put a lot of pressure onto you. It was wrong. But you have to realize that I only took you in for the sole purpose of caring for the boys, or the ones who want a reassuring and comforting presence in their lives.” He spoke to you, being honest as well. He started to circle you like a vulture, and you felt like an injured lamb under his eyes. “What good are you if you can’t do this anymore?”

“Pan, please, I just want to feel appreciated once in a while.” You begged, on the verge of crying out of frustration and tiredness. You had decided on compromising, which was easier to work around, and you didn’t want to be thrown away like some used doll.

“I will see what I can do.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. You nodded with a faint smile, and thanked him many times. You didn’t know if he was going to actually help you but it was nice that he heard you. Of course, you were disappointed to learn you could be easily discarded and that you were unimportant in his eyes. Were you really friends with him? You guessed not, a true friend would have listened to you fully and not threaten you. Sighing, you left the spot you were standing on and decided to come back inside the camp. Your tasks won’t be realized by themselves unfortunately.

The day passed so fast, as usual you had to help the boys with sewing some clothes and stuffed animals back into shape, cooking lunches, healing their injuries, breaking out silly fights… You actually enjoyed the quiet time you were having by cooking dinner. The deer was huge, and it was going to take a while to cut and dismember everything. No one was disturbing you, which was perfect… Until someone came in. You rolled your eyes as the person stepped closer to you, and you almost froze when you realized who it was.

“Are you busy?” Felix questioned as he appeared behind you.

“Yes, don’t you see?” You snapped angrily at him, then slapped yourself mentally. “Sorry, I just have a lot of work to do.” You showed him the dead deer on the table that you were occupied skinning it off.

He walked up next to you, bending a little so your faces could be close. You raised an eyebrow, not understanding his move: what was he doing? You could even feel his breath on your cheek… You eyed him nervously, your heart pounding against your chest, it felt like it was trying to break out and fell on the floor. Deciding you needed to get the deer ready for dinner, you started to skin and cut it again, under Felix’s eyes.

You gulped when you noticed he was glancing at you from time to time. Why was he doing this? He was making you so confused. Has Peter noticed your current mood and sent him to watch after you? When you mentioned to the lost boy’s leader that you weren’t feeling well, and that you felt not really appreciated, that was not what you had in mind. When you were finished with the skin (and Felix didn’t even help a bit), you decided to question him.

“Why are you here? You aren’t even helping me.”

“I… I thought… I thought you needed company. You don’t look well.”

“Will you be looking well if you have to take care of a bunch of little boys who pretend to play warriors all day and have to do hundreds of chores in no time because none here is able to look after themselves, and do it after getting your heart broken?” You complained to him, chopping the deer’s head and tossing it aside, imagining it was Felix’s and hoping he understood… or not.

“Who broke your heart?” He asked cluelessly.

You threw the sharpened butcher knife on the table, and threw your apron on the ground after cleaning, stepping on it furiously. Felix was not saying a word, he was rather observing what was happening, probably not used to watching you yell and cry. You had bottled your emotions and feelings for so long, you thought you needed to be strong for the boys, but if no one appreciated your time spent in the camp, then you weren’t needed anymore.

“You broke my heart, you imbecile!” You screamed at him, not caring if the whole camp heard and pointing your finger into his chest many times hoping it was hurting.  “I am out of here! I am done with all of you!” You shrieked, elbowing him when he tried to prevent you from leaving.

This was not fair. You worked day and night to make sure this island was a paradise for them and a safe place, you were the best mother they would ever get. No one tried to stop you from leaving, they just looked at you with intrigued faces, or didn't stare at you at all.

You broke into tears immediately when you reached an unknown part of the island. You didn’t recognise it, as you were forbidden from walking into the dark jungle, and that was not something you were thinking about at this moment.

You slumped against a tree, trying to stop your tears but nothing seemed to work. How were you so good in comforting some little boys and you couldn’t even comfort yourself? You shook your head and looked at the sky: you couldn’t quite see it, the trees were too tall and too close.

There was something in the air. It made your stomach twitch and turn. You had a gut feeling and it was telling you needed to get out of here fast and as soon as possible. Stubbornly, you decided to stay and investigate why the air felt so tense suddenly. Was it because of Pan? That was a possibility but… this was different.

You approached a boulder at the opposite of where you stood and sobbed. Everything was too… silent. Nature seemed to know what was up but they forgot to inform you. Your eyes widened when you noticed the large and deep claws marks on the boulder, you didn’t know any kind of animal that could do that. You needed to get out of here, right now.

As you turned to run out, a being jumped out of nowhere with a roar and you shrieked as it passed above you. Jumping on the ground to avoid being hurt, you slowly raised your head and realised a huge bear was circling you. The beast had deep scars over its body and was one eyed. You don't know if you were more frightened by the enormous clawed paws or his powerful maw full of sharp teeth. Breathing heavily, you searched for a weapon and cursed at yourself for forgetting them at the camp. No one knew you were here as well. You were doomed.

The bear spotted you immediately, and was roaring standing up and down. You swore the ground was shaking because of the animal. You remembered some boys speaking to you about bears, if you didn’t move, they wouldn't attack you. But the beast was so impressive you couldn't help it.

You darted out of the place, foolishly believing you would outrun such a huge and powerful animal. Maybe you could reach some lost boys or the camp, and they would save you! Unfortunately for you, you tripped over some rocks, and fell harshly on the ground. Your hand was scratched by the rocks and leaves, and you winced with a painful scream.

Hearing the bear approaching, you still tried to stand up. You were going to die. As you tried to run again, you spotted someone high on a tree and the person suddenly jumped when the bear was below the tree.

You heard the bear roaring again and some painful cries, you leaped down, somewhere near some bushes full of berries. You didn’t dare to stand up or try to take a glimpse at what was happening. Breathing heavily and swiftly, you curled on yourself, wondering why the whole world was against you.

There were fighting noises, and suddenly nothing. Building your bravery, you slowly took a peak at what happened. The bear was laying down, blood everywhere on its fur, and someone was standing over the body. The person took out a carved and old dagger and dug it inside the heart. The animal made a painful whimper and you felt a little bad for the bear.

"Felix?" You called out to the boy, now recognising him. "What… How…?"

"Are you alright?" He questioned immediately as he turned to walk up rapidly toward you. He had blood on his clothes and some bruises on his face and hands. "I thought I was too late but then I saw you running…"

Feeling the blood trickling down your leg, you glanced down and winced at the sight. Felix's hands flew to your face and he forced you to look into his eyes. What was he doing?

"Thank you for saving me. I should go back…"

"No. Let's go to my hidden place. You need to rest."

Travelling there was a lot harder with bruises and cuts everywhere but eventually you both managed to get there. You sat down as Felix started to check your injuries. No one was talking and you preferred it that way.

“You are right. I am an imbecile.” He said out of blue. A cold wind made you shiver and noticing this, he moved right next to you.

“An imbecile that just saved my life.” You breathed out as you curled closer to Felix for warmth. You winced when your hand started hurting again but you could at least flex your fingers. “How mad is Pan?”

“He is not angry. I believe he was before the boys came running to him, complaining you were not here to help them like you usually do so he had to be “mom” for a short amount of time… I figured out it was best to escape the camp to my secret place.” Felix chuckled then finished bandaging your hand. “There, good as news.”

It felt awkward talking and leaning against Felix. You had revealed your feelings for him in a fury, and you knew he was not feeling the same… or was he? His body language was very different from most days.

“Do you still… Do you still love me? Even if I am an idiot?” He asked out of blue, as the sun was starting to set.

His eyes met yours for a quick minute then he went back to watching the ocean. It was very soothing, and kind of romantic when you thought about it. But yes, you unfortunately still loved Felix with every fiber of your heart and being. Today was clearly the proof: you thought he had rejected you but came right back to him when he saved you from that bear.

"Yes." You murmured shyly.

"Good."

Felix took your hand and laid down, taking you with him. You were surprised at how gentle he was. You were quite anxious too. Maybe you should question him on his odd behaviour? You really wanted to know why he was like this.

"Did you know that I liked you?" You squeaked out, feeling embarrassed by the past events.

"Actually yeah. For a while now." His hand squeezed yours lightly. "I didn't… I didn’t know how to say it, that's all. But you are right, I am dumb. I don't understand…" He stopped, like he was searching for his words. "I still don't understand how we are supposed to be something. It's been so long and… You know how the boys are. They're possessive."

You hummed at his reply and leant closer to him. It felt nice to be loved. You were just very worried what the boys would think… Or maybe it was for the best for both of you to remain secret. Without thinking, you climbed on him, trying not to hurt him and kissed him. When you realised you were sitting above his waist which made you blush.

"Didn't believe you would skip to that part directly." He chuckled, his hands grasping your waist.

"I don't!" You stuttered, pouting a bit. "I just wanted to do something cute."

"You're cute alright. Maybe you should drop the attitude."

You lightly smacked his cheek with an amused smirk and he pushed you off him, so you were laying next to him again. His hand found yours again and he commented on how nice they fitted together. It was agreeable to spend time with him, listening to the birds chirping, the waves and the ocean… You clearly didn't want to go back to the camp, and Felix didn’t seem to either.

Closing your eyes with a soft smile, you slowly drifted to sleep, with Felix at your side. Everything was going to be okay now.