You didn't understand what was going on in your head. 

You were suddenly feeling the need to become closer to Felix, which was an absurd idea to you. He was only nice to you a few times and wasn't considering your job seriously. Was it weird that you started having feelings for the boy you once despised? Yes.

Again, you didn’t understand why: Felix was always so… so cold and so closed up. Why would one night with him change your whole point of view of him?
Because you saw how he truly was.

It was true, Felix never acted like this before and you started to realise his behaviour around you was slowly changing. He was more… understanding, kinder in a way and talked to you more as well as helping you out often during your chores. He called it “keeping an eye on you so you don’t get captured again” but deep down, you just knew it was an excuse so he could stay with you longer. You wondered if the other boys noticed something different about the blond-haired boy, but they didn’t really care as long as they had food and games to play.

But Felix still remained his angry and aggressive self. One wrong step and he could blow up. Watching him battle the other lost boys over little mistakes made you realise that. He wasn’t that different from Pan: they both loved control and when things went in their ways. No wonder they were close friends.

It was just a normal day in Neverland, you were busy with taking care of foolish injured boys who thought it might have been a good idea to fight the beasts that roamed the island with little weapons. You rolled your eyes at one moaning: he only had some bruises on his body. They always exaggerated when they were hurt, and requested you stay around them. You understood that you were in a way their “mother” but it was starting to be too much to handle for you.

You exited the tent, breathing out heavily and whipped the sweat off your forehead. Not only you had to take care of a bunch of boys, but it was also one of the hottest days in Neverland.  You never understood that Pan couldn’t control the weather, it was his island and he didn’t have a hand of that… Or as you thought, he didn’t know how to change it.

“Is everything okay?”

You turned your head and saw Felix standing near you, his club hanging on his shoulder. You frowned at him when you saw he was wearing his normal clothes. All the boys and you included decided to dress lightly in order to not be bothered by the hot weather but Felix…

“You should undress.” You bluntly said.

“I am sorry?” He asked, an eyebrow raising.

“I meant… It is too hot for you to wear those clothes, go change.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Fine, do whatever you want.”

You let yourself sit on the ground, ignoring the boys chattering from the inside of the tent. They were bickering again. It was giving you a headache. Being the mother figure of the rowdy and rough lost boys was a difficult job, and you wondered how you survived until now. Sometimes they were even fighting for your attention. It was tiresome. Felix seemed to sense your distress, he looked at you then at the tent with a frown.

“Do you want me to tell them to shut up?”

“No thanks. I am okay.”

“You don’t look like you are. You look tired.”

“All I want is a day off…” You whispered, standing up slowly.

The second in command took your hand abruptly and you didn’t have the strength nor the will to fight him. You both left in the jungle and you groaned at that. It was the worst place to be when it was hot like that.

“Where are you taking me?” You questioned the boy.

“Somewhere quiet, where you can rest.” He replied softly.

“Since when have you decided to take care of me?”

He didn’t reply and you decided to not ask more questions. After all, it didn’t sound that bad. Felix was always silent, rarely speaking. He won’t bother you that much and besides, you really needed to rest for a while. 

Finally you reached your destination and you gasped at how beautiful the view was. The blond haired boy had brought you on a small mountain, above the jungle and the sea. Thankfully, there was a large tree giving some shade for both of you and you wiped sweat off your forehead as you laid down on the fresh ground. 

“It is kind of… my secret place.” Felix admitted, sitting down next to you.

“So this is where you run off when we are partying?” You asked with a smirk, already knowing the answer. 

“Most of the time, yes.”

“It is such a nice place. I could spend all my day here, without worrying about anyone…” You sighed, contemplating the sky. “Does Pan know about this?”

“Pan doesn’t have to know everything…” The blond haired boy huffed. 

“Isn’t that right…” You said, closing your eyes, trying to rest.

When you opened your eyes, it was dark already. You stood up quickly and searched for Felix. He was nearby, he seemed to be focused on playing with his dagger. You strolled toward him, a little irritated that the second in command let you rest for so long. He boredly looked up to you.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” You asked, sounding angrier than you wanted it to be. It wasn’t his fault after all.

“Calm down woman.” He growled. “I thought you might use a little sleep, that’s all. You seemed really exhausted.” 

You didn’t know how to react to this. In the past years you had lived on the island, Felix never did those kinds of things with you. This was really weird. You didn’t think the time he spent with you while being trapped changed him that much, so you thought it might be one of his awful pranks. 

“I have to go back to camp. You coming?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

The boy didn’t reply and you figured you might have been too mean with him. You rolled your eyes as you returned to camp. Boys were such crybabies. You could say one wrong thing and they would not speak to you for a solid week. The sentinels at the entrance of the camp greeted you with warm smiles but regained their compostures when Pan appeared out of nowhere, clearly furious.

“Where were you?” He asked rudely.

“I was resting.” You answered simply because it was the truth. 

“Oh so now you need rest?” He snarled, taking your arm harshly. “The boys needed you.” 

“They were okay, look.” You gestured to them dancing around the fire or playing games. 

“How was your rest with Felix then?” He spit his name like it was venom. “Had fun?”
 
You successfully broke free from Pan’s harsh hold. You took a glimpse of your arm and noticed it would bruise. You glared at Pan. 

“What the heck?! Why does it matter now what I am doing with Felix?” 

“I don’t want babies walking around the camp.” He pushed you roughly out of his way. “Is that understood?”

“Yes.” 

“Good.” 

When the boys went to their tents to sleep, you were left with more chores to do. Of course they didn’t bother to do anything, you were always behind them, picking up their clothes or cleaning them. You sighed, annoyed, and thought of what Pan told you earlier. Glancing at his tree house where he was probably sleeping, you couldn’t help but think about it. What you were doing with Felix was nothing of his businesses. Hell, you didn’t even believe that Felix liked you. You stopped for a moment… Did Felix like you? 

You turned your head when you suddenly heard someone walking behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw it was Felix, he seemed to be hiding something behind his back. You rolled your eyes and went back to your chores. He stopped besides you but you didn’t bother to look at him. You were too busy with washing the clothes anyway.

“Erm… (Y/N)?” He asked, stuttering over some bits. 

“Yes Felix?” 

“I....” He stuttered, which was odd for him.
“(Y/N)!!” A young voice cried.

You didn’t have the time to investigate that someone had crashed into you. You winced, and looked down, seeing it was Charlie. He was very young, but very quick and talkative. A pretty strange kid who was scared of anything and believed what he was told. It could be cute, but tiresome to take care of him. You sighed, asking him what he was doing out at that hour.

“It’s Sam!” The boy sobbed. “He said the Shadow would get me and kill me, if I didn’t give him my bed!” 
You groaned, exhausted to settle such silly matters between the boys. But, as Pan would say to you, you were their mother figure and had to attend their needs. You took a glimpse at Felix who wasn’t watching.

“Sorry, but what you have to tell me has to wait.”
“It’s ok…” He replied. “It was nothing anyway…” He muttered as he left.

You frowned when you heard that but was reminded of your duty by Charlie sobbing harder. You stepped toward the tent and tried to settle the matter as fast as possible between the two boys. When you came back, you realised Felix was gone. You sighed and decided it was time for you to go to your tent. 

When you entered, you removed your heavy coat that you threw on a chair then let yourself fall on the bed. But then you noticed them. You took the soft and beautiful flowers delicately, and immediately recognized them as lavenders. There was a field full of them nearby, and they had been nicely cut, you noticed. Someone put a lot of effort in this. Oddly, it put a smile on your face and you decided to go to sleep, not even wanting to know who gave you flowers. 

The next morning, you decided to not tell anyone about the flowers, and especially not Pan. He was well known for his excessive jealousy and for his hatred toward adults and their “petty feelings” as he called it. Walking out, you immediately noticed Felix glancing at you from his usual spot, completely ignoring Pan talking to him, which was odd. You brushed it out, stepping toward the little tent that the boys used to keep their weapons. You knew that meat was low around, so you decided to go hunting. 

The boys only liked it for fun and trophies and always messed up, except some of them. They would say Felix is the best, but you thought otherwise: Aidan was, in your eyes, the best hunter. He wasn’t as tall as the second in command but he was the quickest of the boys, and knew perfectly how to track and hunt. After all, as he told you some times ago, his father was also a hunter and got killed by a bear. As you stepped out with a bow and some arrows, as well as some small axes, you strotted toward Aidan.

“Hey. I want to go hunting, wanna go with me?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“Of course I am going!” The boy replied with a cheeky grin as he stood up. 

"No one is going anywhere." A stern voice is calling behind. 

You rolled your eyes and Aidan dropped on the ground, looking angry and frustrated but he held his tongue. You looked at Pan with a frown.

"We need food." You stated.

"The hunting party went early this morning. If you weren’t busy doing lovey dovey stuff, you would have noticed. Besides, I need you and Felix to check the islands for any new boys." 

You hated doing that and more with Felix. He was so strange those last days and behaved in a weird way around you. And Pan had told you to stay away from him some times ago. Why would he send you both on a patrol? 

"I can't believe you are making us take the longer path." You groaned as you hit a rock with your shoe. 

You thought that at least it would be quick but for some reasons, Felix wanted to take a very long road, full of dangers and on the path was the mermaid lagoon. You knew how dangerous it was to go there, having to beg the mermaids to release a lost drowning one from their claws once in a while. 

"We have to check everywhere. The Shadow is known for dropping them off at unexpected locations." The blond haired boy replied nonchalantly. “Stop complaining, it is less annoying than hunting.” 

“Hunting is fun, especially with Aidan.”

“Stop talking about him and focus on your task.” He said brutally. 

You rolled your eyes again, and walked at his pace. Searching for new lost ones was a very boring task, all the boys hate doing it. Only Felix seemed to appreciate it, maybe because he could be away from camp for a little bit? He was not a social one. What was more surprising is Pan sending you off with him. You couldn’t realise he had done that. 
Some hours passed, and nighttime seemed to engulf the island one more time. With only the moon and the little lantern Felix had brought, you two started to head back to camp after an unsuccessful search. Hopefully it would be the last task Pan gives you today, you weren’t in the mood to cook or skin an animal. 

“Do you like Aidan?” 

The question caught you off guard and you turned to look at Felix. 

“What… Why are you asking me this?” 

“You seemed more eager to be with him rather than me.” 

“I was happy to go on a hunt with him. He is my friend.” You replied, confused why Felix sounded so angry about it. “Seriously, what’s up with you all? First Pan then you…” 

“Wait!” He sounded scared for a moment. “What did Pan tell you?” 

“He asked me to stay away from you so we don’t have babies around the camp.” You groaned, disgusted to even think about it. 

The second in command didn’t say anything, but had stopped walking and looked at you with that dumb expression he always had when he didn’t want to admit he didn’t understand something. The more you thought about it, the more Felix reminded you of a clueless puppy. It was… a little cute. 

“He thinks I want to sleep with you.” 

Still no reaction and that clueless look on his face. You rolled your eyes and pinched your nose in frustration. 

“He thinks we will have sex together.” 

“And you…” 

“Oh god, I don’t want to talk about this with you… It is too…. awkward.” 

He didn’t say anything else after that so you assumed the conversation was over. As you walked by the river where you would usually bathe, Felix approached you and asked you something. However, you were too in your daydreams that you didn’t catch what he said and… You didn’t know what happened. Now, you were wet and cold. The boy had accidentally pushed you in the water, and you were mad. 

“I am sorry…” He sounded so pitiful, it was annoying. “I didn’t mean it I swear! It was an accident...”

“What the fuck Felix!” You yelled at him. “Why do you always have to hurt me?!”

You were so petty about this, you wanted to make him pay for some reasons, a payback for all the shitty things he had done to you over your stay on the island. You grabbed one of his legs, and pulled with all your strength toward you, so he would fall into the water too. He fell with a silent scream, and when he broke through the surface, you raised your fist to punch him and you gladly did so. However, he was stronger than you, even in the river. 

“Enough!” A voice boomed from the shore. 
You both stopped immediately. You realised it was Pan, staring down at you two, crossing his arms like a disapproving father looking at his misbehaving children. You groaned again, and attempted to climb back to shore, which was a little difficult because you were pretty certain Felix had broken a few bones in your entire body. You were the first one out, and held your head high with pride as you passed Pan. 

“You should put a leash on him Pan, that would avoid some troubles.” You hissed, still angry, not caring about Felix’s state.