Sakura talked non-stop, telling him about the things that really pissed her off, her favorite foods, and the types of weather she preferred. She had to keep him awake so the poison would have a hard time settling into his system. Constantly, she asked if was still with her with his replies reduced to being small grunts of approval. It was good. Well, she thought it was good until Inner began to cackle.

'Remember what I said?'

Sakura paused as somebody landed behind her.

'I guarantee.'

"Sakura...? Is that really you?"

She turned around. "Asuma-sensei."

::

Day 9

Sakura rolled her chair back to her office window and slid it open. She leaned out and stared at the man sprawled out carelessly on the ledge.

"Not that I'm complaining, but don't you have any hobbies?" she asked. "You've been hanging around here since you came to Oto. I have a lot of books in my office if you'd like to read them. I'm pretty sure there's The Diving Pool, Kokoro, The Tale of Genji, and The Waiting Years."

Hidan laced his fingers behind his head and rested an ankle on a bent knee. "Already read them."

Sakura blinked. "W-What? Really?"

"I'm not fucking illiterate."

Sakura took on a thoughtful look before retreating back into her office and closing the window. Three of those four books dealt with love and suffering, one of them even shedding light on the role of women in a patriarchal society. There were themes of isolation and a search for identity—something that she never expected Hidan to take interest in.

Honestly, she never expected him to be interested in reading at all.

"Do you think you'll be able to convince him?" Kabuto questioned. She sighed and took a long sip of her tea.

"Maybe. It's like what Kisame-san said: it's either Pein-san or me. I don't know what it's like to work under Pein, but he certainly is more powerful than I am. Aren't strong shinobi drawn to even stronger ones?"

Kabuto hummed. "Probably. But the Akatsuki aren't exactly your normal 'strong shinobi'. You've managed to change three minds. I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to change a fourth."

She sighed again and unrolled one of the scrolls on her desk.

::

He smiled. "Is this where you've been? Off collecting Akatsuki members?" he asked, jerking his chin to the man slung across her shoulder. "I'm relieved to hear that. I knew you wouldn't have gone off without a word without a good reason."

Sakura looked down guiltily. She took Deidara off her person and gently propped him up against a tree.

"We've all been worried about you. I know Ino has. There was a rumor going around that you'd gone off for good, but we wouldn't believe that. If you bring that Akatsuki back to Konoha, I'm sure the council will pardon you for your actions and welcome you back."

::

At sundown, Sakura looked out her window again. Hidan was still out there, oddly enough. He was sat upright with a glowing blue sphere dancing on his fingertips. From further observation, she saw that it was a concentrated ball of pure chakra. He seemed to have been playing with it for a long while, surprising Sakura. Condensing chakra so finely like that took an extraordinary amount of chakra control.

With that revelation, an idea began to grow in her mind.

"Kabuto, could you get me that book on the top shelf? It's a thick green with gold lettering." She stood, opened the window, and leaned out. "Hidan-san, you said you read those four books I mentioned, right?" she questioned curiously. "I find it kind of strange. You seem very into your religion, yet none of those books are about or even mention Jashinism."

Hidan flicked the chakra orb into the air and caught it on the tip of his pinky finger. "*I am an inconsistent creature. Perhaps it is the pressure of my past, and not my own perverse mind, that had made me into this contradictory being."

Sakura continued the quote. "I am all too aware of this fault in myself. You must forgive me."

He smirked. "Oho, so you've read the books too have you, Haruno?"

Kabuto poked out from behind the Otokage with narrowed eyes. "Address Sakura-sama appropriately," he scolded. He handed her the book she asked for before returning into the office. Sakura looked it over, a small smile making its way onto her lips.

"Since you seem to enjoy reading books, why don't you give this one a try? I found it interesting when I first read it."

He took the large text, his chakra sphere disappearing as he saw the title.

Kawashima's Medical Series

VOL. I

Introduction to the Human Anatomy

Day 16

'Send a message.'

"I'm sorry, Asuma-sensei," she murmured as she slipped on her black gloves, "but I'm afraid those rumors aren't just rumors."

His face fell. "I see... Then I suppose I'll take you back by force," he said. Asuma whipped out his chakra blades and held them out in front of him.

"Be careful," Sakura warned. "I'm not the same as I was before."

'Kill him.'

::

"I've never seen senpai read before."

"Read? That asshole has had his nose stuck in those big-ass books every time I've seen him. I insulted him earlier and he just said 'okay'."

"He's reading pretty quickly too, you know. I gave him volume one a week ago. He's on volume five."

"Seriously?!"

Tobi, Kisame, and Sakura were stood before the Otokage Tower, staring up at the ledge with impressed looks on their faces. Hidan was there as usual, legs hanging off the edge and a dango stick stuck in his mouth. His fifth medical textbook was opened in his lap and appeared to already be read halfway through. He wasn't paying attention to anything around him except that book.

"I mean, I thought he'd be interested, but I never imagined he'd be so engrossed in it. That can't be healthy," she sighed. She shook her head and turned to Tobi.

"So, how are the genin sensei? Doing well, I hope."

He scratched his cheek. "They all look fine. And as for Deidara-senpai..."

::

"Sensei!" Menma shouted. "What do you mean minefield? We could get killed!"

Deidara peered down from his clay bird. "Then don't, un."

::

"... I think he's getting the hang of it."

"Good."

Sakura glanced behind her, seeing Marisu and a handful of other medics making their way towards the gates. They were about to go on a three month long excursion to Oto's allies—Jomae, Takumi, and Nadeshiko—and train their doctors and medics to be more efficient. It was the least Sakura could offer in exchange for everything they'd ever done for her.

With that being said, she had ultimately doubled her workload by taking over the hospital in Marisu's place. That meant paperwork, more reports, more things to do...

She wilted.

She probably wouldn't have time for a drink until they got back.

Day 24

"A music festival? Why the fuck would I be interested in that?"

"Because we want to have some fun and all you've ever done so far is be a nerd," Kisame said. He plucked the textbook from Hidan's hands, grimacing when he saw the VOL. XII on the cover, and set it aside, "and Sakura-sama said that all this reading you've been doing is getting unhealthy. Even more so than you already are."

Hidan rolled his eyes.

"It should be fun, senpai! There's food, games, and lots and lots of different kinds of music..."

Hidan zoned out Tobi's ramblings and looked around Otogakure. The whole village seemed to be brought to life with the softly colored lanterns draped over the roads. The vendors were as cheerful as the children, thrums of music changing by the block. The Medical District seemed to be the liveliest of them all. People played for the sick and the old, bringing smiles to their faces.

Deidara and his team were there as well with the blonde genin, Menma, playing his ocarina to a group of small children. Tobi gasped.

"Deidara-senpai! Your hair!"

The aforementioned scowled at the man who marveled at the sight of his unbelievably short hair. His scowl deepened when Hidan tugged at it.

"What the hell happened to you? I thought your dumbass hair was 'too perfect, un' to cut."

He crossed his arms and pouted. "I lost a bet, hm."

A fifteen year old Yukimaru, another one of Deidara's team, popped out from behind him. "To me!"

As Kisame laughed and Tobi stared, Hidan decided to slip away from the group to get something to eat. Normally, he liked to make fun with the lot of them, but he wasn't really in the mood to be social. For one, Jashin was already bursting with anger at him for pushing off his sacrifices in favor of delving into those medical textbooks. Two, now that he was free to think about it, he was slowly starting to realize how much those textbooks have inevitably chained onto his interests.

He wasn't supposed to be so invested. But what could he say? His love for reading was a sin he couldn't cleanse.

Hidan bought a crepe and sat outside the hospital on its front steps. The sound of violins softly prodded at his ear drums as he observed the people that passed him by. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't as wild or uncontrollable as everyone thought him to be. Disrespectful? Yes. Outspoken? Yes. Not of right mind? Of course.

But that was the only during battle. Aside from that, he was just as normal as the next person (save for a few personality quirks).

A small boy caught his attention. He was a part of the small crowd that watched the violinists play and was holding onto a nurse's hand. There was a tiny smile on his face, though he didn't seem to focus on the music. The nurse looked down at the boy and made motions with his free hand, to which the boy nodded to.

... Ah.

The boy was deaf.

"That's Hachimitsu Kioshi. A five year old patient scheduled for surgery."

Sakura sat down on the steps beside Hidan, he white doctor's coat cloaking the space behind her. He glanced over. "What kind of surgery?"

"Heart transplant. As soon as we find a suitable donor, we'll start the procedure. We're hoping that he'll hold out long enough," she said. She wanted the boy to enjoy himself before the surgery, but letting him around the music festival seemed rather mocking. But, he looked like he was enjoying it nonetheless. Hidan looked back ahead of him.

"Hoping?"

"Yeah. Hoping."

Day 29

The pediatric floor was in a frenzy.

Nurses and medics-in-training were running around the halls like their lives depended on it. They shouted at each other, ordering everyone around and having their heart rates rising in anxiety.

"Sakura-sama! Where's Sakura-sama?!"

"She's in the middle of a delicate twelve hour surgery right now! She isn't available!"

Hidan was only in the building on an errand Sakura left on her desk. He dodged the bodies that ran in his direction.

"What about Kabuto-san?! Surely he could do it!"

"He's assisting Sakura-sama in the operating room!"

He loitered around the lobby to eavesdrop on their panic.

"Marisu-san and most of our top medics are gone on the excursion, and the rest are sick with a chakra-fluctuating illness that plagued the upper floors a few days ago, so they can't do it! There's no one else who can control their chakra to such an extent who also has even the most basic medical knowledge!"

The nurse Hidan recognized as the one at the music festival stalked up angrily.

"Hachimitsu Kioshi can only be kept alive for five more hours, and the transplant takes a minimum of three. He's going to live, dammit! We're going to find someone to help that innocent little boy!"

The deaf boy.

He was going to die?

The next thing Hidan knew, his feet carried him out of the lobby and towards the angry cluster of nurses. His mouth opened on his own volition, and those five words tumbled out before he could think. "I can do the surgery."

::

"Hidan? In the operating room?"

"Yes, ma'am. He had the best chakra control in the general vicinity and apparently had read all of Kawashima's Medical Series, and we were running out of time. We do have a PA in there telling him what to do."

Sakura and Kabuto exchanged surprised glances before they hurried down to the pediatric floor and to Operation Room Four's observation window. It was nearing the end of the procedure, and as far they could see, the transplant was a success. Kabuto crossed his arms.

"Let me guess. This was your plan the whole time."

She cracked a guiltless smile. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Day 31

Sakura walked through the white hallways, curious. Hidan wasn't at his usual spot on her office ledge, so the only other place she thought he'd be was at the hospital. It was the place he performed that impromptu procedure before disappearing from the operating room. Once she checked the boy over, she was amazed to find that his transplant seemed even more than perfect. Especially for an unexpected one.

Again on the pediatric floor, she scoured the recovery rooms for the Hachimitsu Kioshi tag. Once she found it, she knocked twice before entering. Hidan was seated on the chair beside the hospital bed—completely silent and looking at the quietly slumbering boy. A book was on the nightstand to his right.

The Basics of Sign Language

"If I hadn't done that, would he have died?"

Sakura exhaled softly. "Yes. He would have."

She turned around to leave him be, but he spoke up again. "I heard that I have to take a series of tests and training to enter the hospital. Do I really have to go through all that shit?" he asked. Sakura bit her lip to keep the grin off her lips.

"Unfortunately. If you come to my office, I can provide you with all the paperwork you need to get started. Will I see you there?"

There were a few beats of stillness. "... Yeah. Later."

Sakura stepped out of the room intent on finishing her rounds about the hospital. Another curious notion bubbled to the top of her head.

"And what about Jashin?"

He turned around, magenta irises conflicted. "He... He'll have to wait." Hidan looked back at Kioshi. "He'll just have to wait a little longer."

::

Sakura raised a shaky hand, swallowing thickly at the red liquid that dripped from her palm. Asuma's body lay motionless on the ground, eyes closed and an angry burn mark covering half off his face. She wished that the blood that stained her hands wasn't hers. She hopefully, desperately wished it wasn't. But even this tragedy wasn't left to silence, Inner screeching with laughter.

'I can't believe you did that! I can't believe it! This is too good!'

She turned around at Deidara whose visible eye stared up at her in shock.

"Are you hurt?" she asked.

"You.. asking me...? Yo... Your back—"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she assured. "It's only a scratch. But we have to get you to Takumi Village right now."

'You killed Asuma!'

'If he's found in two days—'

'Who'll find him out here? You could've run, but you've killed him! You listened to me! Oh god—Oh god this is perfect! You chose a stranger over a friend! They'll never forgive you!!'

She lifted Deidara back over her shoulder, hearing his small puff of weak laughter before he closed his eyes. "You're really... an idiot..."

Sakura sank down in her chair, rubbing her forehead as it began to pulse relentlessly. Memories from the day her and Deidara were ambushed, then later crossing paths with Asuma, suddenly filled her head. It was the day that truly sealed her fate and something she could never take back. When she recounted her misadventure for Kabuto once she returned to Otogakure, he asked how she got out of the fight unscathed.

No, she wasn't unscathed. Underneath her shirt, expanding from her left hip to her right shoulder, was a deep, hastily healed scar that would be there for the rest of her life as a reminder or what she couldn't take back.

Konoha wasn't an option for her anymore.

And the moment she met Kabuto in her apartment, she realized that even from the start, it never really was.

::

The Diving Pool by Yoko Ogawa; Kokoro by Natsume Soseki; The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu; The Waiting Years by Enchi Fumiko

* "I am an inconsistent creature. Perhaps it is the pressure of my past, and not my own perverse mind, that has made me into this contradictory being. I am all too aware of this fault in myself. You must forgive me." — Murasaki Shikibu, The Tale of Genji

::

EDITED 2.18.18