I plan to major in music, specifically vocal performance. I have fallen in love with it firstly because I have found that music is the universal language. To use that language is to invoke emotion and to touch people. One of my favorite things I’ve been told is something Dr. Tucker Biddlecombe said at a choral workshop at Vanderbilt University. He said, “.... there’s one person in the audience of your concert who you are saving. You have to perform for that person.” This is what music is about for me.

The compliments I receive regarding my voice make me feel good. The adrenaline rush I feel during the performance is incredible. The written music itself is stunning. The community surrounding music activities has given me some of the best friends I’ve had. It has provided me mentors I will have for the rest of my life, whose words and impact I will always carry. Singing in different languages has taught me deeper appreciation for different cultures. Through actual performing, I gained courage and leadership, as well as new experiences and challenges, such as dealing with nerves. But when it comes down to it, music is about touching lives. I can’t think of another way I’d want to spend my life that would be as meaningful.

For me, secondly, music is also an escape. I suffer from diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well as Moderate Depressive Disorder, and there are very few times in my life where I do not feel the effects of these illnesses. They follow me everywhere I go, in everything I do, making me exhausted from constant thought trains about everything that could go wrong around me, to obsessions over tiny things that wouldn't bother other people, to what my therapist calls my “deep dark thought spirals” where I get stuck in cycles of negativity. Most mornings, it makes it hard to get out of bed, as well as find motivation to start activities and energy to do them, during the day. But there's one thing that completely takes me out of the cycles I get stuck in: singing. Singing takes every ounce of focus, emotion, and energy I have to accomplish correctly. All of the nuances that make a good performance ring through my head in such a way that there is no room for the thoughts that lead me down dark paths. Even when I physically stop singing, I still have my entire focus on my music without room for other thoughts in order to make my song better. When I was at my lowest before I started seeing my therapist, singing literally kept me afloat by giving my brain a break from the darkness long enough to let it gather the strength to not let it overwhelm me entirely and win. Indeed, music is so important and powerful to me, that my semicolon tattoo I will be getting soon is going to incorporate a treble clef and the words, “music saved me.”