TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter includes/or alludes to (on or offscreen) physical, psychological, or emotional abuse and/or torture.

EDIT: i added more to the chapter than was previously published

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Even though Kyle had patched him up well enough, Oscar could once again feel the heat radiating down his arm, especially after Trent squeezed his shoulder as hard as he did. Actually, Oscar was sure he actually grabbed him normally but because his shoulder was so inflamed it felt like a vice. Getting home was a chore and he fumbled with his keys to open the door. He stumbled in, trying not to move his arm too much.

"Mer?" he called, walking into the living room.

The house seemed quiet and Oscar walked through the house, looking for Mer. As he called out for him, he stopped by the bathroom to get some more pills for the pain. After a few minutes, it was clear that Mer wasn't in the house and Oscar thought for a moment about where he could be when he noticed a piece of paper on the bar.

BEECH was written in bad handwriting on it and Oscar sighed in relief.

********************

Mer sat at the edge of the water as he looked out over the sea. He missed the ocean. He missed the weightlessness, he missed his tail, he even missed his home... although he was sure they didn't miss him. He could never get anyone else but Pearly to learn sign language and so he had to write what he wanted to say to everyone. He was sure they were glad he wasn't around anymore to read his seaweed parchments... take the time to wait...

He thought so many times about jumping into the cool salt water just to feel enveloped by it again, but every time the waves would almost reach his toes, the thought of where he had been and what he had to do to get where he was now made him rethink everything. He needed to tell Oscar but...

"Mer?" Mer looked behind him and noticed the pinched look on Oscar's face. "Why are you out here?"

Are you hurt? Mer asked, ignoring his question.

"You answer my question first."

Mer frowned. Where have you been?

Oscar scoffed. "I told you where I've been and I even left a note for you."

You are avoiding my question.

"I've already answered the question, Mer!" Oscar seethed, the throbbing ache getting worse in his arm.

Mer just stared at him and then stood up, looking down at him. He watched him for a moment, trying to assess what was happening as Oscar tried not to look as in pain as he was.

You are not answering the question about being hurt. Mer sniffed and wrinkled his nose. I can smell blood and something else...

"Well you never answer my questions about your pain." Oscar snapped. Mer sighed as Oscar did as well. "I'm sorry. I..." He sighed again. "Please don't get upset, okay?" Mer turned his head a little. "Last night you were... you were having a really bad nightmare and when I tried to help you, you ended up grabbing me and... and you bit me..."

Mer stared at him for a moment when he realized what Oscar had just said. Mer touched his lips in memory of waking up that morning and going to the bathroom, finding dried blood all over his face and down his neck. He thought maybe he bit his tongue or something but never in a million years would he have thought he had hurt Oscar. Tears welled up in his eyes and Oscar touched his elbow softly.

"Mer, it's not your fault..."

I bit you!

"You were having a bad dream and I just didn't handle it well, so you got scared. That's nothing to be upset about."

"No!" he yelled, the tears falling down his cheeks.

Oscar reached up and wiped them off of his face and then cupped his cheek in his hand.

"Mer, calm down. I'm not hurt that bad-"

Mer grabbed his shirt and pulled it down over his shoulder, ripping the fabric. Seeing all the bandages, he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and touching Oscar's shoulder, but he found it hot to the touch.

Oscar was a little pissed off at Mer ripping his shirt but a painful wave took his mind off of that as he winced. Mer seemed alarmed and started freaking out about what to do, making confused animal noises.

Oscar chuckled a little and put his hand on Mer's shoulder. "Stop panicking. I'm fine. Hey! Stop."

But-

"Kyle doctored it all up and put some stuff on it to help with infection." Mer looked skeptical of this 'stuff' that was put on him. "By the way, are you venomous?" Mer narrowed his eyes at him and nodded stiffly. "I see. Do you know what exactly what your venom does to anything you bite? Like do they get paralyzed or something?"

No, I'm sorry. I... I've never summoned my venom before.

"Summon your venom?"

All merfolk have different defenses. My people have venom but it's different for everyone. Usually we have to be in extreme circumstances so it's like a last ditch effort.

"Right..." Oscar said, suddenly feeling lightheaded. He stumbled a little as Mer caught him. "I got a little dizzy... Let's go back to the house and talk somewhere more comfortable."

Mer watched him stumble around some more as they tried to go up the beach to the house but he eventually couldn't stand it anymore and he just grabbed Oscar's good arm and pulled it around his shoulders to help him inside. Oscar tried to pull away but Mer tightened his grip and Oscar just relented.

*****************************

When they got into the house, Mer put his friend on the couch and then looked around in a bit of confusion, trying to remember what Oscar had done to help him.

"What are you looking for?"

How do I help you? he asked, looking at him helplessly.

"Truthfully, knowing what your venom does would be helpful."

Mer shook his head. Honest, I have truly never used my venom on someone to know what it does. This would be the first time...

"You must have really hated whoever that was in your nightmare then."

Mer crossed his arms to secretly hug himself in discomfort but Oscar wasn't stupid and knew he was withdrawing from him.

"Was it her?" Mer didn't look at him. "Mer." Mer flicked his eyes to him. "It's been a month and you just bit the shit out of me while using a feature of your own species you have never used to defend yourself against... someone. All you've given me so far is that it's a 'her', but I don't know what she's done. What would make you want to hurt her?"

Mer swallowed hard and hugged himself harder, looking away. He bit his lip, trying to figure out how to tell him. Oscar waited patiently, a sudden fatigue coming over him anyway so he didn't feel like fighting for an answer or begging to be let in.

"Don't worry about it, Mer." He turned around as Oscar lazily pointed to his shoulder. "We need to figure this out first. I can't concentrate and apparently it's still hard for you to tell me. Just... get my phone."

Mer nodded, hanging his head as he went to get Oscar's phone. He truly and desperately wanted to tell Oscar what happened but he was afraid of what he would think of him if he heard it. Would he still want to be his friend? Then again, you just bit your best friend and he's suffering from your poison but seems to be less angry about it and more confused. He handed the phone to Oscar and he scrolled through it for a moment, pressing the screen. He put the phone to his ear as Mer sat on the edge of the other end of the couch.

A few minutes later Oscar set the phone on the arm of the couch and put his hand over his eyes. He was quiet for a moment and Mer nervously rubbed his hands on his thighs.

"Kyle is gonna come over and take me to the doctor." He said. "She can't give me anything for the pain and she said from what I described to her, they may be able to give me something." Mer nodded even though Oscar wasn't looking at him. "It might take a while so don't go blowing up my phone."

Mer made a noise to get Oscar's attention to look at him and he moved his head to look at him.

Are you mad at me?

"I'm in a lot of pain and -not to be a dick- but you're not being very helpful. You don't even know how your own body works..."

Mer stood up, his hands clenched into fists by his side. He set his jaw. You are mean.

"How am I being mean, Mer? I have fantasy venom coursing through my arm and the merman who bit me can't even tell me what's going on! It feels like my arm is going to rip itself off and the pain is so bad that I kind of want to die. You can't drive, you apparently can't go back to the ocean to get help, and you can't even tell me what to expect!"

So you are mad at me?

"I'm mad that you can't tell me what's going on. Not just with the venom but everything else. I feel like you don't trust me."

If I did not trust you I would not be here. I would have stayed with [Pearly].

"It feels more like I'm the only person you know on land and that's all you really needed to run away from whatever it is. If leaving the sea wasn't so vital, you'd have stayed with Pearly." Mer stared at Oscar with a wounded look. Oscar turned his head a little and the gave a dry laugh. "Wow... so I'm right?"

"No." Mer hissed. You are trying to force me to tell you. That is not what friends do!

"Yeah well friends fucking trust each other!" Oscar yelled, so angry he forgot about his arm and used it to push himself to standing. He hissed in pain, holding onto it. "Shit!" He breathed quickly to get his bearings and then looked at Mer. "I feel like you don't trust me enough to tell me what is going on. Like everyone else knows what's happening but I'm in the dark! The person you say is so close to you..." Oscar growled, running his hand through his hair. "I feel so toxic right now!"

I don't know what that means.

"It means I can't take a hint on a boundary that you've put up and I keep trying to test it. I'm not trying to make you tell me, I just feel like you don't trust me enough to even try..."

It's because you are the only one I trust that I don't want to tell you! he signed largely as the tears be was holding back began to fall. I am afraid you will think ill of me and then I will have no one! I cannot endure this by myself... I need you but...

Oscar pinched the bridge of his nose when a horn beeped outside.

"Kyle's here... we'll continue this when I get back."

Do not worry. You will not be bothered on the phone. Mer signed quippily and them turned, going to his room.

Oscar sighed and went to the car.

**************************

As they drove to the hospital, Kyle looked over at Oscar and could tell he was upset about something.

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Yes."

"You look mad."

"I am." He snapped.

"You... wanna talk about?"

"Not really."

"Mkay... So... am I the only friend you have?"

"Kind of; why?"

"How is that possible? You said you've known your friend for ten years and if we go off the idea he's a merman, then that means you've either lived here for a while or you're a frequent visitor."

"I spent my summers here and my dad gave me the beach house, so I live here now."

"Then how is it possible that the only friend you have is a merman (theoretically)?"

"Was this an inconvenience for you?" Oscar growled, looking over at her.

"Just seems like getting taken to the hospital is a close friend/family thing. We just met today."

"The only other friend I have is someone I haven't spoken to extensively in years. Seems odd to call him up randomly to ask a favor. You are aware of the situation and I figured you could help me explain what's going on."

"Ah..."

"Hopefully next time I'll be able to take myself so I don't bother you."

"I really don't mind, it just seemed odd. Did you tell Mer it was him that bit you?"

"Yes."

"And..."

"He's never bitten in self-defense so that he had to use the venom. He didn't know how to help."

"And... you got mad at him for that?"

"It devolved into something else entirely and I feel shitty and gross about it but also concerned and worthless." And without much more prompting from Kyle, Oscar recounted the conversation he had had just had with Mer, adding a few past details to make the story more understandable. When he was done, he sighed, tired from the pain and talking.

Kyle parked the car and then turned to him. "I don't think Mer doesn't trust you, Oscar. He seems ashamed of whatever happened. If I may even be so bold as it say it, it sounds like he was abused in some sort of way by this 'her' he mentioned. It's kind of common for animals to have a hard time trusting even the most saintly of people after being treated horribly. When people foster abused animals, the best way to gain the animal's trust is to give them space and make them feel safe.

"It's clear that Mer believes you are safe because he trusted you enough to know that out of anywhere in the world, your beach house and your presence was a place of solace and refuge."

"If that's how he feels, then why would it be hard to tell me what happened?"

"Well, I mean, he's still got human traits. Shame and fear have stopped braver men."

"So, what am I supposed to do? Just... wait?"

"Pushing him will only make it worse. Don't think about him keeping it a secret as him not trusting you; think of it more as out of everyone he knew, he chose to run to you. I also bet that this woman is the one who forced him to speak somehow but out of the two words he knows, one is your name. That should show you everything you need right there. You're very important to him, but he just needs time. I guarantee you he will tell you when he's able to process everything enough to tell it."

Oscar smiled a little. "Yeah... I'm sorry for dumping this all on you."

"I feel like it's the side effects of the venom but to be honest, I don't have many friends either. People think I talk too much and that I'm weird."

"You're both but so am I." Oscar said with a small smile. "Mer was just nice enough to listen to me when no one else would. I mean, shit, I had to get a whole fantasy creature to be my friend to have any, so you're better off than I am."

Kyle smiled and turned off the engine. "Maybe one day I'll get to meet him. I'm still not completely convinced he's a merman, but I can tell you really love him and want to make sure he's okay, but I don't think he's processed his own issues yet to tell you. Just be there for him. Now, let's get you fixed up. I can only cover for you once at work."

Oscar nodded and they went into the hospital.

****************************

A few hours later, Oscar was feeling a lot better. Although the doctor didn't know what had caused the issue, he could tell that Oscar was in pain and his arm had an infection in it. He gave Oscar a shot that supposedly was the antidote to Mer's venom. Kyle had described the symptoms to the doctor and said she thought it was a certain type of venom and the doctor agree with her. He wrote a prescription for Oscar to get some antibiotics for the infection as well as a note to stay home from work for a few days to recover. With proper medical treatment, Oscar felt better and more like himself.

****************************

Kyle pulled up to the beach house and parked the car.

"Thanks for helping me out, Kyle. I'm sorry to call you in the middle of the night and all that. Hopefully shouldn't have any other instances."

"I'm glad I could help. Don't forget to call in tomorrow and don't lose your note. You'll need it, believe me."

"Yeah."

Oscar got out of the car and headed back to the house.

"Hey!" He turned around as Kyle leaned over the seat towards the window. "Don't forget to just let Mer be. He'll come around soon."

Oscar nodded and grabbed his keys out of his pocket, putting it in the door. He walked in and found the house still and quiet. He sighed, knowing that he needed to heed Kyle's advice about Mer but it was so hard. Mer had been there for him so many times and the one time he wants to be there for Mer, he can't fulfill that reciprocity... Stop it, Oz. Mer's always been direct with you and when he needs you, he'll definitely tell you.

He walked to his room and gasped, not expecting to see Mer in his bed. He put his hand over his heart but walked into the room and started taking off his clothes to change into his pajamas. He got his sleepwear on and walked over to the bed where Mer was curled up, hugging a pillow. He looked like he wasn't having a pleasant sleep and Oscar thought about waking him up, but thought better of it this time. He just pulled back the covers and slid into the bed.

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Mer was not having a pleasant sleep. Ever since Oscar left to go to the hospital, Mer was remembering how he got to where he was and wondering how things ended up as they did. The memories of being with that woman... He felt something touch him and he was suddenly awake, aware of everything. He could feel someone slide beside him and the bed dip down. At first, Mer closed his eyes hard to brace for something, but when he didn't feel anything, he opened his eyes. He waited for a moment and then licked his lips. "Okker?" he asked softly.

"It's me."

Oscar settled into the bed and they were silent for a few minutes. Mer eventually turned over to look at Oscar. Oscar looked at him.

"You okay?" Mer shook his head no. "What's wrong?"

Bad dream.

"Oh..."

Mer waited for him to ask what it was but he never did. Mer played with his fingers a little and then tapped Oscar on the arm. He looked at him.

Are you still angry?

"No... Just because I'm not talking doesn't mean I'm angry."

You only have two ways of showing it: you yell or you don't say anything.

"Wow, that's kind of hurtful..." Oscar said, sitting up. "I'm trying to give you the space you need. I honestly don't know what you need from me."

Mer sat up and crossed his legs. What do you mean?

"I want you to feel safe, Mer."

I do feel safe... If I did not feel that way, I wouldn't be here.

Oscar scratched his head a little. "I guess that makes sense... I just... I feel like I'm not doing anything to help alleviate your pain. I can't see it, so I don't know what to do, but it's obvious that you are in pain. I just feel useless."

Mer grabbed Oscar's hands and cupped them in his, pulling them to his chest. He held them there for a moment, holding Oscar's hands tightly, and then slowly let go to sign.

You are never useless to me, Oscar. Everything about you helps me with the pain. I want to tell you -I need to tell you- what happened, but I'm just not ready yet. But please do not think you are of no help as you are, because that is not true. The only thing that will help me get through and give me courage is just knowing that you're here with me.

Oscar folded his arms on his knees. "Are you sure that's enough?" Mer nodded enthusiastically. "Okay... if that's enough for you, then that's enough for me." Mer beamed and Oscar reached over, touching his head. "That's the first I've seen you smile like that in a while." Mer smiled again and Oscar smiled back. "By the way, why are you in my bed?"

I missed you... Mer signed sheepishly, turning away from Oscar. I also was having a bad dream... your scent makes me feel safe.

"I see... Well, as long as you don't bite me, you can stay for the night."

Mer made a trilling sound and his multi-pointed ears seemed to flair out a little as his eyes lit up. Oscar chuckled and leaned back in the bed, turning over to turn off the lamp. Mer got back under the covers as well and laid his head on Oscar's chest. Oscar put his arm around Mer and just laid there for a moment.

"You know... I wouldn't do this for just anyone." Mer looked up as Oscar looked at the ceiling. "I mean, this seems quite compromising and even Kyle thought you were my boyfriend."

B-A-D? Mer wrote on Oscar's chest with his finger.

"I'm not sure... I honestly never had feelings for anyone, boy or girl. I've just always kept to myself. I mean, I'd crush on girls most of the time but guys were usually mean to me, so I never gave it much thought. With you... it's just different."

S-A-M-E.

"At least I'm not the only one then." Mer nodded. "Seriously, though, I can't describe how I feel about you. You're my best friend and closest companion but somehow... somehow you're also something much more than that. I just... can't explain it."

Mer didn't say anything else so Oscar assumed he had fallen asleep, but Mer was actually contemplating on what Oscar had just said. He, too, had had these confusing feelings for a while. Just like Oscar, Mer didn't really like or dislike anyone of either gender but he seemed to like women more often than not... except when it came to Oscar. If Oscar was around, women didn't matter, but Mer was happy that he wasn't the only one experiencing these very confusing feelings. Mer chocked it up to just being so close and honest with each other that it had created a mutual love for each other.

Mer nodded, liking that explanation, and then he snuggled up against Oscar, listening to his heartbeat. He eventually fell asleep, feeling safer than he had ever felt.