Chapter 2: Rule of Three

~Waving Through a Window~
~[Dear Evan Hansen]~

"Shy people are my favourites! The unmistakable glint of shyness in someone's eyes can mesmerize me for years!"
- Avijeet Das

********

I vaguely recalled being carried.

My head was pounding and my consciousness kept on swimming in and out. I was scared. But the dark blots in my mind and heaviness in my body wouldn't allow me to mentally or physically express the feeling. So it was just trapped. Like a beast in a cage.

I tried to open my eyes, when I did, I yelped in pain as the harsh lighting ripped my migraine. I heard echoing words I couldn't make out, urgent whispers soothing me. I didn't know what the voice was saying. My vision was blotchy like when I wasn't wearing my glasses. I wasn't sure if that was because I actually wasn't wearing my glasses or if that was because something was wrong. All I could make out was a huge dark blob before I closed my eyes again.

When I finally came around again I was lying down. My senses were clearer but there was still some sort of block almost on them. I squinted into the world and words seemed muddled as someone leaned over me.

"....okay."

"...on...."

"What?" I croaked. The dark blob formed the shape of a person.

"C-....you....it hurts?"

Hurt. I scrunched my brow. Pain. Yes, there was pain in my head.

"Head." I whimpered out. Fear was gripping me hard, this had happened before I was sure of it. But when? My memories were foggy. Something salty rolled over my lips. Tears. I was crying. Of course I was. I was an emotional person. When people used to notice me they'd call me a cry baby.

"Hey," the voice whispered, slowly folding into a male voice. It was high and a little cracked so I assumed it was a younger male. "You'll be okay....you'll...okay..."

I was slipping back, I scrambled to stay awake but I couldn't....the exhaustion took over and suddenly everything shut down....

🎶 ⏮ ▶️ ⏯ 🎶

"Eight stitches."

I sighed and prayed to the lord all mighty Jesus Christ to tell the drugs to kick in as I pressed the bag of ice to my pounding head.

"You caused quite the kerfuffle." That's Isabella García for you, the only person I've ever heard actually use the word kerfuffle and meant it.

"Mmhm." I mumbled, Mackenzie shifted over so I could lean against her. "What happened again?"

Mackenzie snickered. "Wow, you must've really hit your head."

"Mackenzie!" Isabella scolded.

"Sheesh Mom, I'm getting to it!" Mackenzie shifted to face me. "So apparently you fainted in Foods and ended up hitting your head on the counter."

I winced. "That explains it." I muttered.

"So the teacher needed someone to help bring you to the nurses office for the time being while she called nine one one." Mackenzie continued, a smile slowly lurking its way across her face. I felt my stomach drop with dread.

"What?" I said urgently. No response. "Mackenzie."

"Cole Brookstone himself was your knight in shining armour! Well more like stained jeans but you get the point."

What the actual heck?

Mackenzie gave me the side-eye. "Y'know if I wasn't lesbian and you weren't destined to be together I would totally date him."

"MACKENZIE!" I yelped, my face turning best red. I hated being teased more than I hated the taste of coffee. Unfortunately even Isabella was chuckling at my expense. "You can't ship us if he was only bringing me there because I nearly cracked my head open!"

"I beg to differ." A loud shriek of protest followed from me.

"Alright, the doctor said for Siena to take it easy." Isabella cut in, a motherly warning edge in her tone. She flicked the turn signal and parked in front of the apartment. I started to climb out, bag over my shoulder as I scrambled around.

She glanced back, brown eyes concerned. "Are you sure you don't want to stay with us, sweetie? You're mother isn't able to get off work until after dinner."

"I'll be fine." I promised. "I passed the concussion test and I'll probably just sleep off my pain killers."

Isabella still didn't look satisfied. "Call if you need anything, 'Kay Si?" Mackenzie told me, an amused smile on her face as she watched Isabella go mother bear on me.

"I'll be fine Ms. García don't worry about me." I assured her. I couldn't help but relish at the warm feeling of having someone worry about you.

"Bye, Kenzie!" I waved and shut the door. I waited for Isabella to roll away but she kept her stubborn gaze on me until I turned and walked inside the complex.

The apartment was sleek and modern, the man at the huge black desk giving my plaster-covered side of the head a curious look as I went to the elevator and jabbed quickly at the button to avoid having to answer questions. As I stood inside the empty elevator I realized I had a butt-load of homework from being in the hospital for the majority of the school day and I had forgotten to talk to Ms. Hudson, the music teacher.

I sighed and took out my phone, disappointed to find a lack of messages from Ava and Karla. A small smile split my face when I found one from my mom asking if I was okay. I texted back, assuring her that I was in fact safe at home as I strolled to our apartment but I knew she wasn't going to see it for awhile.

I made it inside and locked the door. The apartment was modern with a nice cedar kitchenette with marble counter tops, the floors were mostly hardwood with fluffy area rugs in the living room. I went to my room, breathing in the nice smell of my lavender candles I had placed inside. My room was tidy and neat, a puffy purple area rug by my bed, cream bedsheets with a light pink blanket at the base. My childhood stuffed animals were still lined up on my pillows. A little army of rabbit snugglies and a soft doll. A desk for homework, a bookshelf with all the basics, Lord of the Rings, Little Fires Everywhere, and a nice collection of cheesy romances Mackenzie pretends she doesn't scour whenever she come to my house. On my walls were Polaroids of me and Mackenzie and framed pictures of my family. I smiled sadly at the one of my mother, father, and I when I was nine and we went to the lake for a week. That was a nice memory. Filling up the last available space between my closet and my beam bag was a piano and guitar stand. With a guitar in it of course.

I placed down my bag and sat on the piano bench. I bit my lip as I opened up the cover to reveal the rows of black and white keys. I went into my bag and pulled out a pink spiral notebook, flipping through it before placing it into the piano. Messy scrawl of music notes and lyrics covered the pages as I placed my hands on the keys and started with a line of notes before beginning.

"We imagine everyday. That the world perfect. That's the takeaway from the typical moment." My voice carried through the emptiness of the house, whisking out the window. I closed my eyes and moved into a higher note. "But, somewhere out there is so many people wondering if they really belong."

"And I cannot tell you much it's hurts for them to always be strong." My fingers danced across the notes. "So, this is a call to the forgotten children out there. Ohh. This is the voice of the ones who've been misused. I cannot fathom how much I wish I could use my voice. But we all have a choice."

"So break from the box, don't let them in!" I felt my vocals raise in my chest voice as I sang. "This is the dawn of what's to begin! Take a thousand words and make song. Time to believe that we belong!"

"This is a call to the ones the ones with the spotlight." A scale followed as I read the next line. "This is the beginning of a new life."

"And you are blessed with a voice call out. So let out and let it shout. Become the voice for the ones who are mute. Become someone who leads the crew." I slammed my fingers onto the chords, my foot gently pressing the pedal.

"So break from the box, don't let them in! This is the dawn of what's to begin! Take a thousand words and make song. Time to believe that we belong! Woah-oh-oh. We belong." The music was in me, it always is. I can feel the words in my soul and hear the music in my spirit. I slowed my notes, readying for the ending.

"Take a breath. We aren't in battle yet. Take a step. Let's see how loud we can get." My index tapped the note for a moment before I sang the last line. "We imagine everyday that the world is perfect. That's the takeaway from the typical moment."

"And I wish I knew how to use my voice. This is my choice. This is my choice."

🎶 ⏮ ▶️ ⏯ 🎶

Mackenzie bumped me lightly in the shoulder, causing my drink to slide dangerously in my cup.

"What?" I asked in an annoyed voice as I quickly licked off the droplet of juice on the side.

"You're hero is coming this wa-ay!" Mackenzie sang.

"What are you even do-ing?" I tried to say but suddenly she was spinning off of the picnic bench.

"Be casual, don't panic." She murmured out of the corner of her mouth before she was gone.

I turned after her. I could barely keep up. "What? Mackenzie-"

"Hi." Crap.

I whipped around, wide-eyed as I came face-to-face with Cole Brookstone. He stood there awkwardly, hands in the pockets of his jeans, a lose black hoodie over his orange t-shirt.

"Uh- um-I...hello?" I fumbled over my words. His big brown eyes seemed to stare into my soul as his hand reached up to brush the fringe from his eyes. I could hear his friends who were watching from a distance snickering behind him.

"I just wanted to ask how you were..." He paused before quickly adding. "Not in a creepy way! Just because last time I saw you, you were unconscious..." Cole's voice trailed off when he realized that also was a little creepy. I was too distracted to care, anxiety making my brain muddled.

"I'm good." My voice came out too soft. "Thanks for asking."

"Pardon?" Cole tilted an ear. Crud, crud, crud.

"Thanks for asking!" I blurted out. I jumped up and fumbled for my things. "Bye!"

Before he could stumble out another word I had dashed across the grass towards where Mackenzie was trying to inconspicuously spy on me. I grabbed her arm and yanked her after me at a brisk pace.

"So how'd it go..." Mackenzie tried. "Ow! You have a tight grip!"

"That was humiliating! He probably thinks I'm a weirdo now." I glanced back to see him looking curiously after me before turning on his heel and sauntering off.

"Probably." Mackenzie agreed. I groaned as we reentered the school.

"Siena!" I looked up to see Ava and Karla there.

"Sorry, volleyball lasted longer than I thought." Her orange ponytail was swinging. "Did I just see you talking to Cole?"

"More like stuttering." I huffed, dragging a palm over my face, almost knocking my frames off my face.

Karla nodded. "You do do that."

"Aw, Siena, I'm sorry about that. It must've been embarrassing." Ava pouted.

"Want to head to the coffee shop for a cheer-up?" I suggested.

Ava winced. "Ooh, sorry. I'm doing extra band practice. I was just made the lead singer and I want to prove my worth."

Mackenzie feigned gagging noises behind me.

"Oh." I suddenly brightened. "Can you talk to Ms. Hudson? I can send you a video recording of me singing to show her."

"Uh...Ms. Hudson won't be there." Ava said awkwardly. "But if I see her when I pass the music room I'll try and catch her!" She added quickly.

I glanced at the smaller girl behind her. "Karla?"

"I have to go to a doctor's appointment." Karla replied emotionlessly.

"Are you okay?" Mackenzie questioned, even though she didn't like the girls much she wasn't about to wish death upon them.

"I need to get a large potentially contagious bump removed from my foot." Karla told me, eyes unblinking.

We all took a small step away from her. "You...do that." Mackenzie began to turn in the other direction. "This is why I don't like being around her." She whispered through her teeth before leaving.

"Well, I better be off." Ava glanced at her watch.

"Bye Ava." I tried to say but she was already gone, Karla trailing behind her.

I contemplated what to do as I wandered around. I still had a good portion of lunch period left. I walked by an empty music room but I turned back when I caught something in the corner of my eye. Someone had left their guitar leaning against a chair in the centre of the room. I chewed on my lip, my fingers twiddling with the charm as I glanced back. The halls were basically empty. I looked back into the room. Something seemed to draw me to it. My hand was in my bag, my fingers feeling the satisfying pages of my notebook.

Maybe I could pop in there, play a little, then pop on out, I reasoned before stepping inside. I carefully closed the door before entering. It was silent. Which was weird to see in a room with great acoustics, thousands of music posters, and a huge trombone in the corner. I sat down and picked up the guitar. It was an acoustic, nylon strings, dark wood. I could just barely make out the initials on the neck of the instrument. L. B.

I tested the strings, starting with the first. A horrible twang erupted from the guitar, riveting off the ceiling and walls. I pressed a fret on the second string and began turning the knobs, tuning the guitar to the proper sound. I checked the other strings and after tuning those to each other I began a simple scale to warm up. After finishing it I placed my finger into the correct frets before digging my thumb into the strings and strumming a chord.

"One fight after another. One person mad at the other. Can't stand the voices always yelling." I started, strumming once before thumping my hand to stop the noise with a satisfying tap before strumming again. "I thought we were meant be. A family made of three. Then it all crumbled suddenly."

I was so wrapped up in the song I wasn't aware of the door slowly creaking open. "I wish everyday. That we could go back and play the parts we used play. But I never got a say anyway."

"It was the rule of three. Now it's just you and me. Why can't you see that we were meant to be. Rock, paper, scissors. Third, second, winner. Silent dinners. Don't you see the tears in her?"

I could feel my voice flowing with emotions as the words poured out of me. The music filled my brain and I felt everything that's been tangled in me unravel.

"Waiting by the phone. Staying in the house left alone. Why can't you both see you're tearing me in three? Resentment, suppress it, don't let it get to you..."

I began to strum faster, the anger and sadness seeping through. "It was the rule of three. Now it's just you and me. Why can't you see that we were meant to be? Rock, paper, scissors. Third, second, winner. Quiet dinners. Don't you see the tears in her?" On the last word I riffed off of it, letting my chest voice mix with head as I reached a high note.

"Fights and anger, I'm no stranger. I just wish this could've lasted longer. You never seem to see the impact it left on me. Open your heart, open your eyes. Ohh." I slowed down again. The steady beat matching my heart's as I finished. "Packed suitcases. Stupid races to find you.... Rule of three. Finally free. Don't you see how it's broken me?"

I could feel the tears in my eyes and I quickly blinked the away, swallowing hard as I placed the guitar down.

But it was the voice that jarred me out of my stupor.

"That was amazing."