Origami Girl

Chapter 34: When the Cicadas Weep III

"A cicada's shell –

in this single body

pains accumulate"

-Masajo, 1955

I watched as the train pulled into the station at the Hakodate Main Line's northbound platform. The train doors opened, and a few passengers got off leisurely, taking their belongings with them, some hauling luggage bags while others travelling light. The timetable said that the train service ran from Hakodate to Kushiro, so I guessed most of the people were commuting from my hometown.

Shuuya-kun, clad in his dark blue flannel shirt and white denim shorts, stood up and stretched his arms in front of him, straddling his canvas haversack onto his broad shoulders.

"Are we taking this train?" I asked him, standing up as well.

"Yeah, we are," he replied, turning to look at me.

"But this train goes to Kushiro," I said, slightly confused.

"Kushiro is along the way, silly. We'll be transferring trains there," he chuckled, walking over to my luggage bag, resting his hand on it. "Let's go."

"Y-You know, I can get my own bag," I said to him. "You don't have to-"

"I got it," he replied, a grin on his lips. "Don't worry about it, you just relax."

"Thanks," I mumbled, toying with a strand of hair. "That's really sweet."

"I'm your boyfriend," the young man replied. "Of course I have to be."

Shuuya-kun dragged my floral-print trolley luggage beside him, where we had packed most of our clothes and belongings. We both had haversacks, although mine was smaller and had only daily travelling necessities.

Stepping onto the train carriage, we sat beside each other, me sitting at the window seat. As Shuuya-kun pushed the luggage against the side of the carriage, making sure it doesn't move or slide when the train moves, I made myself comfortable, huddling onto my haversack.

Other passengers also began to fill up the carriage, but there was ample space. Shuuya-kun was right, the eleven thirty-nine train had plenty of space so we could place our small luggage bag without any worries of causing inconvenience to other passengers. I was worried earlier, but it seemed that those fears were unfounded.

I have never been to Kushiro before, although that wasn't the intended final destination for the both of us. Despite that, it didn't stop me from feeling curious about it.

"How long will the transfer be at Kushiro?" I asked the young man as he finally settled down.

Shuuya-kun scratched the back of his head with his right palm.

"I'm not sure," he began, a slight tone of uncertainty in his voice. "I think around twenty minutes. Why?"

"Oh," I said, unintentionally sounding disappointed. "I thought we could go out and see the town or something."

"I don't think so," he replied. "Twenty minutes is just barely enough time for a short break to walk around the station. There'll be another two hours from there."

"I see."

It wasn't too long before the train left the station, heading east towards Kushiro. It was a habit of mine to look outside when a train moved along its tracks. There was always much to be seen.

The skyscrapers of the city centre made way for apartment complexes, the large department stores parting for smaller-scale local supermarkets. The train headed east, out of the city altogether.

I had seen the urban landscape for quite some time, so it lost the allure and charm it once had to me as a child, looking outside the window of a high speed train. Feeling bored, I took out the map I had taken with me at the train station out from my bag and unfolded it.

Shuuya-kun had told me that we were heading for Nemuro, so I looked for the name on the map. I found it after a while, it being the terminal of the JR Main Nemuro Line. It was quite far away, being on the easternmost point on Hokkaido, and to get there, we had to transfer our train at Kushiro Station.

I wondered what was there to see at Nemuro. It wasn't like I was against it or anything, but that I just didn't know what to expect when I got there. Shuuya-kun was the one who asked me along with him. He said that he was going for a short trip to Nemuro and that he was going to stay with relatives.

"I'll be going to Nemuro for a while," he said to me just two days after we had returned from Hakodate. "I have relatives there, and I haven't seen them in a while."

The two of us were just sitting in the living room of the apartment. My aunt was out buying groceries, so we had the whole house to ourselves. I was lounging on the sofa, magazine in my hand, while Shuuya-kun was seated on the floor, clipping his fingernails. Truly the atmosphere in the house was much more relaxed ever since the both of us confessed our feelings for each other.

"Ah, that's nice," I said, flipping through the magazine I was reading. "When are you leaving?"

"In two days," he replied, leaning back against the sofa behind him.

His deep black hair brushed against my leg. I've never realised how soft his fair felt, and it was a nice feeling. I put the magazine away and shifted my position on the sofa, such that my hands were now closer to Shuuya-kun.

"You can't be serious can you?" I muttered, as I twirled a strand of his slightly curly hair on my index finger. "We've only just gotten back."

"Of course I am," he replied, as I continued toying with his silky hair. "I've already planned for this trip a few months back."

"It must be nice to travel," I commented. "You deserve the break anyway, you've been so busy."

"Yeah," the young man replied. "Hey, do you want to come along?"

I frowned, and tilted my head slightly. The young man noticed my silence and turned around.

"Are you serious?" I asked him, feeling a bit flustered. "Y-You can't be, can you?"

"If I wasn't serious, I wouldn't have asked you that," he said, cocking his head. "So why don't you come along?"

I got up as quickly as I can, sitting up straight. The young man looked at me with those deep brown eyes of his, his eyes seemingly appearing as though he was trying to beg me to come along. Honestly I would love to, but a part of me was still rather apprehensive about the whole travelling thing.

"Well, aren't you visiting relatives?" I asked, fidgeting with my fingers. "I wouldn't want to become a nuisance. I-I mean, I don't think it'll be nice of me if I got into the way."

"It's fine," he told me. "I'm sure they'll be fine. It's only my aunt and uncle anyway."

"Ah, I see," I muttered.

"They run an inn, so we can stay there," he told me. "So are you up to it or not?"

I agreed and got to packing my things right away. Shuuya-kun told his mother when she came back, and she gave us permission for me to tag along.

"It'd be nice for Ayano-chan to go to Nemuro," she said to her son. "You two just be careful, we wouldn't want anything bad to happen to either of you."

"We're almost twenty," Shuuya-kun said. "You don't have to worry about us."

"Well then," she replied. "Say hello to your aunt and uncle for me. I've haven't seen them in years."

"Will do," my cousin answered.

I folded the map and placed it back into my haversack. The train had left Sapporo far behind by now. We were making our way through the occasional small towns nestled in the valleys between the mountains covered in lush forest. I guess the area would appear even more beautiful in autumn, surrounded with trees in their finest fall colours. I missed seeing the crimson, golden and ochre hues of the autumn leaves. Autumn was coming after all, so I needn't wait too long.

I've read that the journey to Kushiro would take about four hours, so I tried to keep myself occupied. The mountains, hills and occasional towns bored me after a while, so I sank back into my seat. My cousin was beside me, his eyes closed, his headphones covering his ears. I thought he was merely resting, but upon closer inspection I managed to catch sound of his slight snoring, so I guess he was fast asleep. I wondered how he could sleep with music blaring into his ears.

I took out my phone after a while out of boredom, unlocking it. The wallpaper, a picture of Yukino-kun and I greeted me as I stared at the screen. No words left my lips as I stared into the boy's hazel eyes, as I looked at the wry smile on his lips. Feeling slightly ashamed, I averted my gaze, and quickly locked my phone, placing it back into my bag.

I was lost in thought as I stared at my fingers. Honestly I didn't know how to feel. About the trip. About my relationship with the young man sleeping beside me. I was just confused and scared, and I had no idea where to go, or what to feel. Was this right or wrong? I didn't know.

I tried to tell myself that everything was all right, since Yukino-kun had long passed away, and that he was no longer with me. I wasn't cheating on him or anything, no? Besides, I thought it would be nice if I could finally get on with everything. What happened in Hakodate, happened in Hakodate, and I didn't want it to drag me down. Yet a part of me still yelled at how wrong this relationship was. I sighed, and reclined against my seat, staring out to the blue sky outside.

"Hey," the young man said softly. "Is everything all right?"

Shuuya-kun looked at me with those deep brown eyes of his, sleepy and half-open.

"It's nothing," I told him, giving the young man a slight, curt smile. "I was just thinking of something."

"You might want to get some sleep," he said softly into my ear. "It's a long ride."

"Sure," I replied. "I'll try."

With that the young man closed his eyes and leaned back into his seat. His right palm rested on the armrest between our seats.

As the train continued onwards towards the coast I tried to keep myself occupied, but in the end I found myself examining my cousin's sleeping face. His eyelids were shut, and his long fringe barely covered them with a layer of lush black hair. His lips were slightly parted as he slept, his head tilting a little bit towards me.

I didn't know what drove me to it, but I reached out and placed my right palm on his. His skin was rather smooth for a young man, his palms slightly cold from being in the air-conditioned carriage. The young man opened his eyes slightly, looking at me, but he soon closed them again. He may have not noticed it, but I certainly noticed the slight smirk that curled up the side of his lips. He may not have put it into words but I could tell that he was glad that I did. And deep in my heart, I was somewhat happy too.

I tried to close my eyes, sinking into the back of my seat, but I couldn't get any rest. My heart was racing in my chest, and my mind was exhausted, but nowhere near calm. I couldn't help but feel guilty that I was doing this, that I was going on a trip alone with Shuuya-kun. Sure, we confessed the feelings we had for each other, but I just felt that there was something not right about everything that I was doing.

Perhaps it was just me. After all, being that my last relationship had ended in such a tragedy, I was still rather apprehensive and fearful. I really liked Yukino-kun, I really did. And to lose him just like that was a horrible, horrible way for the both of us to part. Of course, I fully well know that Shuuya-kun couldn't be taken as a replacement for the sweet boy I've lost, but. . .

Shuuya-kun was a different person altogether, I told myself mentally, ingraining that idea in my head firmly. The young man beside me was not the same young man whom I witnessed hanging from a rope back in Hakodate. He was not the same young man who loved cats and smiled at me wryly. He was not the bashful young man I once knew.

He was different. And I had better make sure that I fully knew these two were ultimately two different human beings. And now that I was in a relationship with Shuuya-kun, I best flush these thoughts out of my head.

Sleep never managed to whisk me off to the sweet lands of reverie. My mind was just in a muddle, thoughts coming and going. I opened my eyes and leaned my head against the window instead. The midday sun was high above us now, the streams of bright, warm light streaming through the glass panels.

We passed through another valley, where there was a little town along the main highway. I took my time taking in the sights of the mountainside towns, even though I thought I was bored with them earlier. The blue terracotta roofs of the low houses, the tall telephone poles, the small, isolated torii gates in the midst of thick, growing vegetation, I enjoyed every small little detail.

The train stopped at a few other stations, passing through a few small towns and villages, before the cutting through the meadows of barely and oat near the river delta as we approached Kushiro. I managed to spot a few cows grazing in the few patches of pasture as well. I just loved seeing the cows grazing in the fields against the backdrop of the clear blue summer sky.

There was an announcement, informing us that we were approaching Kushiro, the end destination for the train service. Shuuya-kun still seemed to be fast asleep, so I woke him up, shaking his shoulders gently.

"Are we in Kushiro already?" he said a few moments after he opened his tired, sleepy, deep brown eyes.

The young man peered out of the window, squinting his eyes.

"We're almost there," I told him. "We're still at the outskirts, but we're approaching the city now."

"Yeah," the young man replied, rolling his shoulders. "Did you manage to get any sleep?"

"No," I told him. "I just looked out of the window. Looked at the map, checked my phone from time to time."

"You know, if you couldn't sleep," he said, looking through his haversack for something. "You could just lean on my shoulder. I don't mind."

"I-It's not that," I answered him, sighing. "I just couldn't sleep."

There was a short silence between us.

"Sorry about that," he said after a while. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm forcing you to lean on my shoulder or anything."

"What are you apologising for?" I asked, looking at him. "You didn't do anything wrong."

The young man scratched the back of his head, before looking away.

"Well," he finally said. "You just sounded really grumpy and all, so I thought I did something to upset you."

I slowed down after I realised how true his words were. He was right, I had raised my voice when I answered him, and was rather jumpy. I suppose that was a result of me getting stressed after I overthink things. Heaving a deep sigh, I sank into the back of my seat.

"I'm sorry," I muttered after a while. "I just overthink things sometimes, and when I do, I just-"

I couldn't find the words to finish my sentence. What I could come out with was only a mere sigh of frustration.

"Hey," he replied, turning to me. "It's fine. Just relax, we're on a trip remember? Just try to enjoy yourself."

That was such an easy thing to say. Of course, I never told him that.

The train pulled up at the platform soon enough, and Shuuya-kun and I stood up, preparing to alight. I made sure we left nothing behind while my boyfriend pulled the handle up on the trolley luggage. Stretching my arms, I slung my haversack on.

Shuuya-kun looked down at his watch before we made our way to the carriage doors.

"We're right on time," he said as he dragged the bag behind him. "We still have twenty more minutes before we have to catch the Nemuro train, do you want to grab something to eat?"

"It's fine," I told him, shaking my head. "I'm not hungry."

"Well, you may not be hungry now, but you'll never know," he chuckled, before he paused for a short while. "You know what? I shouldn't even have asked that question. You'll say you're not hungry no matter what."

I giggled as the two of us walked down the length of the Senmo Line platform.

"You know me too well," I said.

"I'm just going to buy you some food whether you like it or not," he said jokingly, a mischievous smirk curling up his lips.

"Fine, fine," I said, giving in. "I'm hungry, let's go."

There were a few convenient stores in the station building itself, so we headed over to one of them, in search of some food we could eat on the way to Nemuro. It was already two in the afternoon, and I could really use a meal, or at least something to barely fill my stomach.

Shuuya-kun was peering over the display for boxed lunches, so I headed over to the refrigerator to look at the drinks. There was a wide selection, just like at the usual convenience stores. I grabbed my usual drink, a bottle of green tea.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked the young man, who stood just a mere stone's throw away.

"I'll have coffee, black," he replied. "What do you want to eat?"

Holding the cold bottle of green tea against my chest, I reached out and pulled the refrigerator door open again. I searched the row of capped cups of coffee for a cup of black, which I found soon enough. I thought of swapping my tea for coffee, but in the end thought otherwise. I had always loved green tea anyway.

I was closing the refrigerator door when I spotted a row of sandwiches in the adjacent chiller.

"It's fine," I told Shuuya-kun. "I'll just have a sandwich."

"Eh," he replied. "Suit yourself."

I grabbed myself a fruit sandwich filled with yoghurt, strawberries, oranges, and chunks of bright green kiwi. It had been a while since I ate one of those. I was about to close the door when I caught sight of the row of egg sandwiches just below it. I suppose Shuuya-kun would probably eat more than just one bento, so I grabbed one for him. If I recalled correctly, he barely ate anything for breakfast that morning,

"What are you having?" he as ked me as he walked up to me, carrying a packed lunch in his hands.

I smiled as I nodded towards the sandwiches I held.

"Oh," he replied, a smirk on his lips, as he reached out and took the cup of coffee from me. "It seems like one sandwich isn't enough for you huh?"

"Hmph," I said under my breath as I turned to look at the refrigerator.

"Come on," my boyfriend said, stepping closer to me. "I'm just kidding. I'm not saying that you're fat or anything."

I could see the slight worry and guilt in his deep brown eyes from the reflection in the fridge door. He seemed sorry for what he had just said. He was such a sweet guy.

"H-Hey," he said, resting his hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to insult you alright? I was just joking."

A slight smirk on my lips, I turned around. Shuuya-kun seemed surprised that I was smiling.

"I was just pulling your leg," I said. "Relax."

The young man turned bright red, and quickly averted his gaze.

"You're fat all right," he muttered, walking away.

I couldn't help but giggle to myself as he did that. He just didn't want to admit that he really thought that I was offended, and the look on his eyes was just so adorable.

Shuuya-kun paid for everything at the cashier, taking out his wallet from his jeans pocket. I offered to pay for my tea and sandwiches. But he casually denied my help.

"It's fine," he said as he pulled out a few coins from his wallet. "I'll pay for it."

As he did so, I noticed something in his wallet.

It was a picture of his family. It was a rather old picture, the colour slightly fading. Him as a young boy, perhaps as young as four or five, was seated on his father's lap, with my aunt and Momoka-chan beside them. He closed the wallet once he got his change back, placing his wallet back into his pocket.

Carrying our food in the grocery bag, we boarded the Nemuro-bound train on the Nemuro Line not too long after. It was far emptier than the train we were on just now. When we were looking for seats, Shuuya-kun offered to let me seat by the window again. I thanked him quietly and sat.

"How long until we reach Nemuro?" I asked my cousin as the train prepared to leave.

"Two hours I guess," he replied, leaning back against the backrest. "Anyway, do you want to eat now? We could use the food."

"Of course," I said, looking through the plastic bag I held.

I took out the young man's packed lunch and was about to hand it to him, when he leaned forward , reaching his hand out to the back of the seat in front of me. I was about to question what he was up to, but he pulled out the foldable table and laid it in front of me, before pulling out his own. He seemed to notice me looking at him, and shot a weird look in my direction.

"Thanks," I muttered, averting my gaze and turning my head.

I nearly forgot what I was in the midst of doing, until he cleared his throat all of a sudden. Only then did I realise I was about to pass him his packed lunch, so I did what I intended to earlier, bringing his lunch out and placing it on the table in front of him.

"The chopsticks are in there too, right?" the young man asked.

"Ah," I replied, flustered. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

Rummaging through the bag, I found the pair of wooden chopsticks that Shuuya-kun had taken from the counter earlier, and placed it on top of his still unopened lunchbox. He nodded in thanks, silently opening the cover of his lunchbox. I, too, took out my fruit-filled sandwich, bringing it out in front of me.

In the corner of my eye, I stole a few glances at Shuuya-kun as he ate. He seemed to be having a piece of grilled salmon on rice, with a side serving of vegetables and mayonnaise. Of course, I had seen him eating his meals countless of times by then, yet I still found that it interested me. I couldn't understand why, but my attention was still placed on him nonetheless, unconsciously I supposed.

As the train rumbled past the coast, the water glistening in the afternoon sunlight, I unwrapped my cold, chilled sandwich. Bringing the soft bread close to my lips, I watched as the young man clipped a piece of salmon between his chopsticks, lowering his head closer to the table, before finally nibbling on the pale pink piece of fish. It was kind of cute when he did that.

"You like salmon don't you?" I asked, breaking the silence between us.

The young man lifted his chin up, before turning to look at me, a slight frown on his brow.

"And you like fruits chopped up in a sandwich don't you?" he responded, before resuming his meal like he had been doing all this while.

"I meant it as an honest question," I replied, sighing, cold, soft bread a mere inch away. "The very least I expect is an honest answer."

"Why do you want to know?" he replied, in almost nonchalant tone as he brought some more rice to his lips.

"Is it wrong if I want to know more about you?" I asked. "You're my boyfriend after all, so I should at least know."

The young man placed the chopsticks down for a while, resting them against the side of the lunchbox. He stretched his arms out to the front slightly, before leaning back into his backrest.

"Well," he muttered as he folded his arms. "If you want to know, then yeah, I guess you could say that I do."

"Ah, I'm fine with salmon actually," I maintained, trying hard to a start a conversation between us so things wouldn't get so awkward. "My mother used to make a lot of salmon lunches for me back when I was in high school. It was a pretty nice treat."

"Oh," he replied, fidgeting with his fingers in front of him "I see."

I stopped the conversation there and left him alone for the while being. I was afraid that I may have been irritating him, so I just kept my mouth shut. Perhaps he was just thinking about something.

After finishing my sandwich, I looked down into the plastic bag and saw the other sandwich which I had taken for Shuuya-kun. I could have given it to him, but the young man was still busy with his meal so I just took it out and placed it in my haversack instead. I could give it to him later when he got hungry or something.

I folded the table, pushing it to where it was stowed, before throwing the sandwich wrapper into the plastic bag. Unscrewing the cap of my bottle, I leaned back into my seat, looking at the waves crashing into the shore. Bringing the neck close to my lips, I sipped on my tea as the train rumbled down the shoreline, connecting the coastal towns. As I looked at the far horizon, I wondered how the sea was like this time of the year, if it was still too frigid to swim in.

Shuuya-kun moved again, stretching out to place his now-empty lunch box into the plastic bag I had hung in front of me. I may have flinched a little, but I couldn't really remember if I did.

"Sorry if I startled you," he said, chuckling.

I looked at the young man's face. He seemed to be fine. Perhaps I was just making things up when I thought he was getting slightly uncomfortable earlier. I suppose I analyse things, especially people, far too much.

"It's fine," I replied, turning back to look at the window.

The announcement came on informing us that we were approaching the station. It was another of those small settlements I supposed. It must be nice living in a quiet little town, facing the sea.

"You've eaten all your sandwiches?" he asked.

"Oh," I said. "I'm just saving the other one for later."

"I see," came his reply.

Shuuya-kun leaned against the backrest, heaving a shallow sigh. I watched as he reached his arm around on the other side of the seat, seemingly feeling around for something. He bit his lip as he fumbled around without looking, but he seemed to find it soon enough.

I supposed he didn't realise it, but a slight smile curled up his lips as he managed to recline his seat backwards. I don't remember there being anyone behind us so it was all right I guess. The young man pushed his seat back, before bringing it to the front again. He did it not once or twice, but rather, a few times repeatedly. I pretended to be looking outside, but the whole time I was just observing him. For some strange reason, seeing that brought a slight tinge of happiness to my heart, and I couldn't help but smile. To see that boyish side of Shuuya-kun, that was new, and honestly speaking, when he did that, he just seemed so adorable. It was always nice to discover new things about him, which just goes to show how much of him I still don't know. I wasn't going to make the same mistakes that I did last time. I'd really try to understand this young man, empathize with him, being able to picture myself in his shoes, I'd love to be that kind of girlfriend. The girlfriend I could never have been to Yukino-kun.

In the end the young man settled for reclining his seat back slightly, and tilting his head slightly as it rested behind him, closed his eyes and appeared to be dozing off again. He had a smudge of sauce on the corner of his mouth. I giggled quietly to myself. Never did I think that my boyfriend could be so adorable.

While he was fast asleep and his eyes shut, I took out of my mobile phone and sneakily snapped a photo, making sure I had the phone's camera sound effects turned off. The young man by this time had tilted his head down a little bit, his eyes partly covered by his fringe. My lips curled up into a smile by the time I sank back into my seat.

We had ventured away from the coast, crossing through flatlands and hills by the time. I bided my time finishing up my tea, looking at the dense cluster of trees, catching a few rare glimpses of the coast in between the breaks at times. The only sounds to be heard were the rumbling of the old train along the tracks, and the occasional announcement informing the passengers of the oncoming station. It was a nice feeling, riding on a nearly empty train just like that, venturing into the remote countryside.

My boyfriend woke up not long after that, just as we reached the coast again. The few towns we passed throughseemed to get larger and more crowded, so I deduced that we were reaching Nemuro soon.

"Hey," he called out to me softly, shifting in his seat. "Are we almost there?"

"I think so," I told him.

The young man squinted his eyes as he looked outside, as if he didn't find my answer to reassuring. Well, I wasn't really exactly confident with the answer myself, so it wasn't really a surprise if he didn't buy it either. Before he said anything though, the train had begun to slow down, and the speakers announced that we were approaching Higashi-Nemuro station. An elderly couple who was seated a few rows in front of us stood up and waited at the door, just as the train pulled up to the station.

Looking outside through the window, I noticed that the station was nothing more than a bare platform on each side of the tracks. There was neither an office nor a proper roof, just like the small tram stops back in Hakodate, just that the service to Nemuro only came in about three times a day, likewise with the Kushiro-bound trains. I noticed a young woman standing up as she read a novel, waiting for the Kushiro-bound train from the opposite platform. There were a few houses in the area surrounding the station, but otherwise, the vicinity was pretty quiet, desolate even.

"That's one more stop then," Shuuya-kun said as the doors opened. "We'll reach there in about five minutes hopefully."

The old man and his wife got down slowly, careful not to step into the gap between the platform and train. Once the two were safely off, the train took off again, this time to its terminal, and the last stop on the line.

I looked through my haversack to make sure everything, and especially my valuables were all there where they belonged. After I made sure I had everything on me, I sat forward, slinging the straps onto my shoulders. I also took the plastic bag with all the garbage in my hand. It wasn't like me to leave rubbish in the train, that was just inconsiderate.

As the train pulled over to Nemuro, Shuuya-kun stretched his arms in front of him, before carrying his haversack on his shoulders. We were approaching the centre of the town now, there seemed to be more buildings and even a few two to three-storey apartment buildings.

Nemuro Station was a rather modest station with a small office and a single platform, but given that there was an office and a few vending machines, it was actually one of the grander stations on the line, with some being just a mere open platform like the one I saw earlier a few minutes before.

We left the station son enough, Shuuya-kun pulling the luggage bag behind us. There was a large parking lot with a taxi kiosk just outside the station, white taxis parked in rows neatly side by side, waiting for passengers to patronise them.

"Are we going to take a taxi?" I asked him as Shuuya-kun and I both walked around the vicinity of the station. "We could split the fare if you want."

The young man shaded his eyes from the glaring summer sun as he scanned the area, seemingly searching for something.

"He said he'll be here at four," the young man said, folding his arms.

"Who's supposed to be here?" I asked, slightly confused.

Since I was really just brought and dragged along with him for this trip at the eleventh hour, I didn't really have time to discuss the travel plans with him. Instead, I merely trusted that he had a plan. He did mention he had contacted his relatives in Nemuro earlier, so I guess he must have settled all the arrangements before summer break even started, so I guess things would all turn up fine.

"My uncle's supposed to be picking us up," he replied. "He has a minivan."

"That's nice," I commented. "A minivan sounds like a pretty fine ride to me."

"It's mostly for ferrying visitors," the young man replied. "But yeah, it is kind of nice."

I looked at my watch. It was still a quarter to four so we still had quite some time to wait. Shuuya-kun and I headed for a bench and sat there.

"Anyway," I said after a while. "Do they know that I'm tagging along with you?"

"Yeah, I told them two days ago," he replied. "So don't worry, they're expecting you too."

"That's really nice of them," I said. "They run and inn don't they? Won't they be really busy? I'd feel bad if they made special arrangements just for us when they have their own business to run."

"Hey, hey," he replied, nudging me with his elbow. "Don't worry too much about it all right? They've taken a week off, so that's why I came to visit them too."

"So they take a week of summer off every year?" I asked, curious on how his relatives ran their business.

"Yeah," he told me, running his hand through his hair. "Basically that."

I nodded in silence, before a low growling sound pierced the air. It seemed to come from right beside me. Looking to my left, I noticed Shuuya-kun rubbing the back of his head as he chuckled awkwardly.

"Sorry," he said, a sheepish smile on his lips. "That was my stomach."

I couldn't help but giggle slightly. Shuuya-kun seemed embarrassed, his cheeks reddening.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I didn't mean to laugh at you."

Rummaging through my bag, I took out the spare sandwich that I had taken with him in mind earlier and held it by the edge of the wrapper, dangling it at him.

"Don't worry," he replied, biting his lip soon after. "I'm fine, I'm not that hungry."

We were interrupted by another of his stomach's growls. After it became apparent that I obviously heard it as well, the young man laughed awkwardly.

"You know," he replied. "Shouldn't you keep it for yourself, just in case you get hungry or something?"

I heaved a deep sigh, placing the packet of not-so-cold egg mayonnaise onto the young man's lap.

"I'm not hungry," I replied gracefully. "You should really have it."

"Really?" he asked, his deep brown eyes looking less tense, peeking from behind his fringe. "That's really nice of you."

"You've always been nice to me," I said, smiling. "Maybe I should return the favour every once in a while."

"I'm nice to you because you're a nice person," he said. "You know, when you first came to live with us and you insisted on doing your share of the housework I really thought you were just nosy and you should have just minded your own business. But then I saw that you really just wanted to help out, so I think that's very considerate."

"But then even after you've realised that, why wouldn't you still let me do the chores after that?" I asked. "You could've asked me for help you know, since you were really busy and all with your work attachments and training programs."

"Hey now," he replied as he tore the wrapping open. "I didn't want to trouble you."

"So who's the considerate one now," I asked jokingly.

The young man laughed as he bit into the sandwich.

"I-I just honestly thought you were one of those princess-y types all right?" he mumbled through his full mouth as he chewed. "You may be meaning well, but it won't help if you can't do the task properly."

I shifted along the bench, moving closer towards him, so much so that my knee bumped into his thigh. The young man only looked at me in silence after I kept quiet after his remark, clearly puzzled to why I never said a word but instead slowly advancing onto him. His eyes followed my hand as I reached out to him, his mouth slightly agape as he chewed.

"A-Ayano-chan," he said as I brought my hand close to him. "What are you-"

I stopped him mid-sentence when I felt my fingers against the warm underside of his chin. Giggling, I moved my hand up slowly, pushing his jaw until the parting of his lips were sealed. It was one of those habits of his, talking with his mouth full. I found it rather adorable as a matter of fact.

"Don't talk when you're eating," I told him, before backing away.

The young man still had his eyes on me, confused and perplexed over what happened nonetheless. Thinking about it, that was a rather strange thing for me to do, but in that brief moment with him talking with his mouth full, it just felt like the perfect timing to do it. I retracted my hand from his jaw, and sat back straight again, hugging onto my haversack.

"Y-Yeah," he mumbled. "Right, I'm sorry."

"You're so cute when you do that," I remarked, twirling a strand of my hair around my left index finger.

The young man chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head with his arm.

"Thanks," he muttered sheepishly.

It was then when a man, who looked as if he was in his late forties, clad in a blue polo and cargo pants approached us from the distance. He seemed to be looking at us, squinting his eyes and cringing his brow, the type of looks you'd give someone when you think they're familiar and you recognise them from somewhere.

Shuuya-kun noticed him and stood up abruptly.

"Ojii-san!" he called out, waving his hand.

I watched as the older man broke into a smile as he walked towards his nephew. My boyfriend stepped forward too, and the two men bear hugged. Out of respect for the older man, I stood up from my seat and smiled at him.

After the two of them let go, the older men held my boyfriend by his shoulders.

"You've certainly grown really tall," he remarked with a proud, healthy grin.

"Well. . . I have," my boyfriend replied sheepishly.

I remembered the same thing remark being thrown at him when we returned to Hakodate the previous week. I guess all uncles like to do that, deriving some sort of pride seeing their nephews grow up strong and healthy. I could never understand why.

The older man's attention then shifted from Shuuya-kun to me. He flashed me a friendly smile, so I did the same, giving a curt slight bow.

"You must be Furukawa-chan," he said. "Shuuya-kun over here told me you were coming along."

I only smiled awkwardly, nodding my head. I was never really good at first meetings. And I supposed that day would be full of new introductions. It was all so tiring even to just think about, but I tried to not let it show.

"Well, I've parked the van over there, best to not keep waiting," the man said.

The two of us followed him as we walked to wear the minivan was parked. Shuuya-kun dragged the trolley behind us as I trailed beside him. Shuuya-kun's uncle unlocked the sliding doors, and he beckoned me to sit inside after he switched on the air conditioning. Shuuya-kun wanted to bring the luggage into the back of the trunk, but his uncle told him that it was fine, so the young man followed me inside, sitting on the seat next to mine.

Uncle and nephew talked to each to each other on the way to the inn. Shuuya-kun told me that the inn was nearer to the edge of the island, in the vicinity of Cape Nosappu, thirty minutes away from Nemuro Station.

"It's the easternmost point of the country where the public's allowed to visit, you know?" he told me a glint of enthusiasm in his deep brown eyes.

"Oh, really?" I asked as I looked outside the window at the fishing boats in the bay.

"Yeah," he replied. "It's a really nice place to be, I'll show you."

The edge of the peninsula as we headed out from the main centre of Nemuro was filled mostly with open fields. We passed through a few small towns here and there, the houses huddling closely to the main road by the shore. I suppose it must have been raining earlier, as the area was slightly foggy, a white mist wafting into the streets from between the houses. Shadows of buildings and telephone poles peeked out in the distance.

There was literally no one in the streets. It was quite a change of pace from Sapporo or Hakodate. It was nice and quiet. Yet in between the towns there were large fields. There was something about those open plains that enchanted me the moment I set my eyes on them. I didn't know whether it was the light mist wafting over the sea of green, or was it the far emptiness which my eyes just couldn't seem to let go of. There was just something about those large open fields that struck a chord in my heart.

Empty fields like those, they carry that heavy air of sadness with them. There was something burdening and melancholic staring at a far edge of an open plain, cloaked in a light clothing of fleeting white fog, like a far unreachable horizon in the distance. But of course, of course, the horizon over the open evening sea was different compared to this. I've never really felt sad looking at a horizon, even if it was with Yukino-kun beside me. Even when I try to remember how we stood by that harbour, I felt no sadness when I recalled the horizon over the harbour, the sight of which was against a backdrop of gawking seagulls. Yet as we drove in between towns on the Nemuro peninsula, the unfathomable sorrow just seeped into my heart.

It was so daunting, seeing what was ahead covered in mist. It wasn't like the horizon over the open sea. For I have always told myself that the fine line at the edge of the ocean was never attainable, and the sea was just too much of a hassle to cross. There was no way I could anyway.

But this field, this fogged-up edge of this field. I could easily run across the sea of green and brown. It wasn't going to be elegant, I might end up with mud in my dress, but I wanted to. It just felt like something I had to do.

"What are you looking at?" my boyfriend suddenly asked me, breaking me out of my reverie.

"Oh," I said, turning to look at him. "Just looking at the grassland."

"Is it even that interesting?" he chuckled, leaning back into the back of his seat. "You're kind of funny."

I only kept quiet and stared out into the field.

We reached the inn not too long after. It was in this small, town huddled by the cape at the easternmost point of the peninsula. It was a pretty modest establishment, huddled along the main road, facing directly at the sea. The terracotta tiles were a faded grey, and the beams of the house was made of dark wood. It certainly looked like it a pretty old building, but not in a bad way. Sure, it did have the style of houses built a hundred years ago or so, but it appeared to be pretty well-maintained.

"The lighthouse isn't that far from here," Shuuya-kun told me just as we stepped out of the minivan.

I only nodded my head, looking at the general direction where he was pointing. Honestly, after a five hour long journey, I was exhausted. I lost interest in whatever else he had to say. I could understand that he was excited, since he hadn't met his relatives in a long while, but in that moment, I couldn't really say I felt what he did. I heard the sound of creaking wood, so I turned around, looking at where it came from.

A woman who appeared in her forties stepped out of the now-open front door and walked towards us. She wore a beaming smile as she set her sights on the both of us, but mainly on the young man beside me.

"It's been so long!" she exclaimed.

Shuuya-kun merely chuckled, replying that he was just as excited to see her. The woman's attention then went ahead to me. She nodded her head in a bow of acknowledgement, so I gave a slight bow in return.

The two began talking about things like how he was doing, exchanging pleasantries, when Shuuya-kun's uncle approached us, dragging the trolley luggage behind him.

"Why don't we all talk inside," he remarked, chuckling. "It's much nicer to talk over some warm tea."

"Of course," his wife replied. "Come on in."

The two of us followed the couple into the building, leaving our shoes in the entrance hall. They led us down a corridor, and we merely followed them. The woman said , for my sake most probably, that their house was attached to the inn, so I just assumed that we were heading there first.

The woman slid the sliding door open, and I found myself looking into the living room of the couple's home. It was a rather modest living space, with a few floor cushions neatly stacked at the side and a small retro television which stood on its own legs in the corner of the room.

"Go ahead," the woman said as we stepped inside. "Make yourself at home, I'll go brew some tea."

After parking the trolley luggage by the television, her husband lay out four floor cushions on the floor surrounding the low coffee table. Shuuya-kun and I sat down, side by side on side of the table when beckoned by his uncle. His aunt came out from the kitchen bringing a tray with four teacups as well as a thermos flask. She each gave us a cup of green tea. Thanking her, I held my cup in both hands and brought it up to my lips.

"How's the tea?" Shuuya-kun's aunt asked me once I had placed my cup down.

"Ah," I replied, nodding. "It's really good."

"That's nice to hear," the older woman replied.

Shuuya-kun hadn't touched his tea, leaning back, propping himself against the floor.

Throughout the whole time, the three of them engaged in a lively conversation, talking about things from school life to job prospects. I only chipped in now and then, but for the most part I was drinking my tea. Shuuya-kun's aunt noticed this, and offered me a refill. I politely declined, thanking her.

"So how do you find this place?" Shuuya-kun's uncle said in the midst of the conversation.

I initially kept quiet, but once I realised everyone had turned to look at me, did I realise I was the one he was directing the question to.

"Well," I said, pretending to look around the room to hide my embarrassment. "I think it's a pretty nice place you have. It's sweet and cosy."

"I'm glad you think so," the aunt said, acknowledging me.

I thought that was the beginning of another long conversation, but thankfully the older lady got up, so I didn't have to feel awkwardly left out, sitting there like a silent statue. I didn't blame them for not including me in their conversation though, the couple were just so engrossed with talking with their nephew whom they hadn't met in years.

"Why don't you go show them to their room?" she said to her husband as she walked towards the kitchen. "I'll go start preparing dinner, the both of you must be pretty tired and hungry."

Her husband stood up from the floor and invited us to follow him into the main section of the inn. The older man brought us to the end of the corridor, before sliding a door open, leading into a modestly sized room.

It was a rather decent traditionally Japanese room, separated into two by a few sliding paper panels. There was a table and four floor chairs in the section of the room by the entrance, as well as a small alcove with a neatly placed flower arrangement piece. The other room was empty, save for the tatami on the floor.

"Ah, I forgot to lay out the futons here," Shuuya-kun's uncle said out loud. "Just a minute please."

I watched as the man headed over to the wardrobe, sliding it open. Shuuya-kun went over to help him out.

"You don't have to," he said as he pulled out one of the rolled up futons.

"It's fine," he replied. "We're used to doing housework."

"I've always thought you've grown up into a fine young man," his uncle told him. "And I guess I was correct."

Each man rolled out a futon and placed them beside each other on the tatami.

"Since we've closed for the week," the older man said, standing up straight. "We've just washed these."

I only kept quiet as I stood there, watching them.

"If there's any problem with the room, please don't hesitate to tell us," Shuuya-kun's uncle said as he stepped back into the living area of the room.

"You don't have to make it sound like we're formal guests here," my boyfriend said jokingly.

"But you get what I mean," the man said as he stepped towards the door of the room. "Anyway, you two rest for a while. The journey must have been long. We'll call you when dinner is ready."

"Sure, thing," Shuuya-kun replied as his uncle slid the door shut.

A silence descended upon the room as his uncle left. I walked over to the windows and slid the glass panes open. A cool breeze blew in, airing the room.

Seeing that there was probably some time before we were called for dinner, I decided to do some unpacking. Opening my luggage bag, I took out the clothes that I had carefully folded in.

Amidst the clothes I saw the container with the green lid that was given to us by my aunt, to be given to the landlady. It was a whole container of dried persimmons.

"Hey," I said to Shuuya-kun who was lying on the tatami mat. "Are we going to pass the persimmons later?"

"I'll do it before dinner," the young man said. "I'll pass it to her."

"Better not forget," I reminded him.

"I won't."

I headed over to the wardrobe and placed the folded clothes into it. There were a few hangers there as well, and after a while I decided to hang all my clothes there. All of Shuuya-kun's clothing were mostly shirts and an extra pair of jeans, as well as a pair of sweatpants, so I guess I didn't need to hang them. Following that, I took out our toiletries bag and placed them by the sink in the bathroom. Even after I was done, my cousin was still lying on the floor.

"You must be really tired I guess," I said as I sat down beside him.

He merely grunted in response, his eyes shifting his gaze towards me, his forearm resting against his forehead.

"It's a pretty nice place," I said, leaning closer towards the young man.

"Yeah it is," he replied.

I had no idea what to say, so I just sat there in silence beside him. It didn't take long for him to speak again.

"Did anyone ever tell you," he began, before cutting his sentence off there.

"Tell me what?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow.

The young man shot his gaze away from my face for a while, a smirk forming on his thin lips.

"That you have such nice legs?" he said, a smiling slyly at me.

I frowned and shot him a glare.

"So you've been staring at my legs?" I asked, folding my arms. "That's not nice."

"Hey, hey," he replied, pushing himself up into a seated position. "You look at my abs whenever you get the chance."

"That's not true," I replied, slightly biting my tongue.

"Don't even try to bluff me on this one," he chuckled.

"I-I never looked at your abs before," I blurted out, my cheeks getting slightly warm. "N-Not like I want to anyway."

"You're lying," he said , leaning closer to me, gazing into my eyes. "You think I wouldn't notice did you?"

I averted my gaze, my cheeks flushed.

"See," he said, pulling back.

"Fine, fine," I admitted. "I look at it sometimes. . .Is that what you wanted to hear?"

The young man seemed slightly taken aback. I may have raised my voice too loudly. A short, awkward silence descended upon the room.

"Hey, hey. . ." he said apologetically. "Come on, I didn't mean it in that way."

"I'm sorry," I replied, shifting my hair back. "I didn't mean to sound so hostile."

"It's fine," he said, shifting closer towards me. "What's wrong? Is there something bothering you?"

My thoughts immediately returned to the vast grasslands I saw as we made our way to Nosappu earlier. There was just something about those grasslands that stirred something deep inside me. I didn't really know how I felt. It was a strange stirring, a slight tinge of desire mixed with the dark hues of hopelessness and regret. That foggy edge of the field was disturbing me, and I really had no idea why.

"No," I told him quietly, shaking my head. "It's nothing."

"Come here," I heard him say.

I looked up and saw that the young man had opened his arms wide in front of him, inviting me onto him. Without further ado, I fell onto his chest, my palms resting on his strong, broad shoulders. I could hear him breathe, and I could feel his chest rising and falling with every breath. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, but his warmth was starting to be a familiar sensation to me, so I pretty much was getting rather used to it.

"You can tell me," he whispered in my ear as he stroked my hair gently. "You've always been there for me when I needed someone to talk to."

"I don't know," I finally said in the midst of his warm embrace. "It's just that things have been bugging me recently."

"What kind of things?" he asked.

"I'm not really sure actually," I admitted under my breath. "I don't know, maybe I've been thinking too much or something."

"You need to give your mind a break," he said to me. "You're really just stressing yourself out. And over what?"

"Nothing. . ." I mumbled, huddling close to him.

"Exactly," he replied. "Well now that we're here you might as well take the opportunity to relax."

"You're right," I said, slowly pulling myself away. "I'll try."

Shuuya-kun seemed like he wanted to hug me for a little while longer, although he never really said anything of the sort. I guess I could kind of sense the disappointment in his deep brown eyes as they peeked at me from the gaps in his fringe.

"Well," he finally said after a while. "Do you want to go freshen up or something? It's already late in the afternoon."

"I'll probably take a shower after dinner," I said to him, shooting him a smile.

"Well, suit yourself," he said, as he got up. "If they ask for me tell them I'm in the shower."

"Right," I answered, playing with my nails.

"Where did you put my clothes by the way?" he asked as he peered over the open luggage bag.

"I placed them all in the wardrobe," I replied. "They should all be in there."

"Thanks."

I watched as the young man took some of his folded clothes from the wardrobe and headed over to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. From the living area I could hear the shower head spraying water as my boyfriend cleaned himself up.

It was then when I heard someone at the door to the room.

I walked over quickly and slid it open. It was Shuuya-kun's uncle.

"Ah, hello," I said, greeting him, not really sure what to say. "Well, everything's fine."

"That's great to hear," he chuckled. "I just came to tell you that dinner is almost done cooking, so come over to our house whenever you're ready."

"Thank you," I replied, smiling. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

The man left soon after, heading back down the corridor towards the main house. I slid the door close again and headed over to the bathroom, knocking on the door.

"I'm almost done," came Shuuya-kun's reply amidst the sound of the spraying of water. "Just a few more minutes."

"Your uncle just came by," I informed him. "He said dinner is almost ready, so we better hurry up."

"Right, thanks," he said.

He was out of the shower not long after, clad in nothing but a pair of navy blue shorts that ended just above his knees. The wet towel he had used to dry himself was slung over his right shoulder. His hair was damp, with clear droplets dripping from the longer strands of his thick black hair. Some of the droplets landed on his bare chest, making their way down towards his lightly defined abs. I couldn't help but look.

"Well, what are you looking at?" the young man said teasingly, cocking his head.

"Oh," I said, a smirk on my lips. "Nothing."

The young man just shook his head, before slipping into his grey loose shirt which he held in his left hand. Hanging his towel onto the railing to dry, we both headed to main house to have dinner with his family not long after that.

Shuuya-kun knocked on the door, to which I heard his aunt's voice coming from the other side, inviting us in. My boyfriend pushed the door open slowly, and the both of us entered.

The table had been covered in a spread of delicacies, from what it looked like, each of us had our own tray of different small dishes. I sat down beside my boyfriend, while his aunt and uncle took the other side of the table.

"We don't usually cook this for ourselves, but since you're here we might as well eat something different," the woman said, pouring some hot tea into each of our cups.

"Ah," Shuuya-kun replied. "This is what you usually serve the guests?"

"Pretty much," she answered, putting the teapot down by the side of the table. "We get our ingredients from the fishermen at the port, so it's as fresh as we could get it to be."

I looked at the spread on the tray in front of me. Clearly she had put in a lot of effort in cooking and preparing this meal for the both of us.

In the side of the tray was a small bowl filled with boiled vegetables, as well as a bowl of miso soup, a cloudy concoction of soup, tofu and bean sprouts, as well as a small bowl of rice. There were a few slices of bright, raw, pink salmon, garnished with a few green leaves from the water pepper plant. I suppose that was the main highlight of the dinner.

"Ah, the sashimi looks pretty nice," Shuuya-kun commented.

I could actually agree to that. The salmon flesh looked so succulent, I could just feed off its juices. The way they were arranged was also neat and beautiful.

"Ah, you've been away for too long you've forgotten what it is," his aunt chuckled.

"Oh, right," the young man replied, scratching the back of his head. "It's. . . rui-be isn't it?"

"That's right," the older lady replied.

I could only look at the both of them, unsure of what they were talking about in the first place. Shuuya-kun noticed my confusion and smiled at me.

"Oh," he said as he turned around. "Way up north here they make sashimi the traditional way, and eat them with soy sauce and water peppers."

"Well, if we were so traditional, we would have frozen them outside in the snow," the young man's uncle interjected. "But there's no snow about so we'll have to make do with the freezer, hope the both of you don't mind."

I only smiled politely in reply.

"Well, what are we all waiting for," the older man said again. "Let's eat."

"Right," Shuuya-kun replied, putting his hands together.

Mimicking him, I did the same. We all said our thanks together, before picking up our chopsticks.

Looking at the spread of food in front of me, I wondered where I should start. In the end I figured I might as well try the raw pink salmon staring into my face first. After all, it was the main dish that was presented in the entire set.

I picked up a small piece of raw, limp salmon by my chopsticks and brought it closer to my lips. Placing it in my mouth whole, I bit into the soft pink meat. I could taste the sweetness of the soy sauce as well as the slight spiciness of the water pepper. But what got me was the freshness of the tender flesh.

"How is it?" I heard my boyfriend's aunt ask.

I looked up and realised all eyes were trained on me. I supposed that it being my first time here, and that it was my first time trying her cooking, made my verdict much more significant than my cousin's. Seeing that I still haven't given a response, I nodded nervously.

"It's good," I said. "Really good."

"That's great then," came the older lady's reply.

We spent most of dinner talking, well, the three of them spent most of dinner talking. I guessed if you haven't seen your nephew in years, you'll of course have a lot of things to say. I didn't mind though just sitting there and not being part of the conversation, it was less tiring that way, in all honesty.

We finished dinner soon enough, and Shuuya-kun's aunt cleared the table for us. She offered us more tea, to which I politely declined. Sure, I loved tea, but I was thinking that I may have had a little too much that day. Even then, Shuuya-kun still drank on, not refusing his aunt's offer.

"Well, we'll be going out tomorrow, so why don't you two go rest in your room first," the older lady said, looking at the clock on the wall. "You two must be pretty tired after the journey."

I looked up at the clock and realised it was nine thirty. It wasn't anywhere near the time I usually go to sleep at, but I agreed that I should really head back to the room to rest. It must have been the long journey.

"Well then, see you tomorrow," Shuuya-kun said, standing up. "And thank you so much for the dinner."

"It's totally fine," came his uncle's reply. "You two have a good rest now."

Nodding, I stood up as well, following Shuuya-kun out of the room. The couple began talking with each other, and we could still hear them as we closed the door behind us.

Returning to our room, I headed over to the bathroom, careful to bring all my clothes with me, to wash up and get ready for bed. After I finished showering, I slipped into a baby blue nightdress, which I found to be pretty comfortable.

When I came out of the bathroom, hanging the towel on the rack, I found Shuuya-kun lying down in front of the table, looking through his phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, getting close to the young man.

"Nothing much," he replied, putting his phone away. "I was just looking at some photos."

"Ah, what photos?" I asked him, curious.

"You know," he said, sitting up. "Just some old photos, nothing really interesting."

"I see," I giggled.

The young man stretched his arms in front of him, before turning to look at me, a slight smile on his thin lips.

"How did you find dinner?" he asked.

"It was great," I told him, giggling. "Your aunt is a pretty good cook."

"She sure is," he replied, leaning back, propping himself against the floor with his arms. "I miss her rui-be so much actually. Couldn't wait to eat it the moment we got here."

"You've been here a couple of times?" I questioned. "When you were younger?"

"Pretty much," he chuckled. "The last time I was here. . . was when I was sixteen, I guess?"

"Oh, that's nearly four years ago," I said. "No wonder they seem to miss you so much."

"Yeah," he said cocking his head back. "They sure do. I'm their only nephew."

"Don't they have any children?" I asked him.

The young man was silent for a while, before turning to look away.

"Well. . .um. . ." he mumbled, scratching the back of his head as he looked down. "It's kind of hard to answer."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"T-They have a daughter my age," he replied. "But she. . ."

The words seemed to vaporise in mid-air as the young man stopped speaking, folding his arms.

"I'm so sorry I asked that," I said, pulling back. "I didn't know."

"It's fine," he replied. "You didn't mean to sound rude anyway."

I fell silent, moving over to my bag to look through what I had brought with me. I had a small novel in my bag, but I had read it a few times already, and I didn't feel like reading it again. Yet I wonder why do I always pack it with me when I went travelling.

"Hey, what's the itinerary like tomorrow?" I asked my boyfriend who by now had headed over to the bedroom.

"Well," he replied, stretching as he sat cross-legged on his futon. "We're going to this hot spring in the mountains."

"Isn't that quite far?" I questioned, surprised at his reply. "I didn't really see any mountains nearby if I recalled correctly."

"It's a few hours' drive," he answered. "But you know, my uncle will drive us, so don't worry about it."

"Did you arrange this for the both of us?" I asked, my cheeks getting warm.

"W-Well," he muttered, hiding his mouth behind his clenched fist. "I thought you'd like it so. . ."

"Y-Yeah," I replied. "It's fine."

There was a short moment of silence between us. Heavy, awkward, silence.

"Umm. . ." I began again. "What else do we have after that?"

"Well, we're also going to go visit the lake," he said. "It's quite a nice marshy area, so there's a lot of birds and wildlife."

"That sounds pretty nice," I told him.

"It is."

The young man let a yawn, trying hard to supress it.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just so tired after the journey, you know."

"Yeah, we really should sleep," I replied, getting up and heading over to him.

"Why don't you switch off the lights then," he said, getting into his futon. "A-And bring your futon closer while you're at it."

I got up and turned off the main light switch, but the nightlight in the bedroom still helped me see. Heading over to the other futon, I dragged it closer to my boyfriend. He had already crawled into his futon, lying on his side, his broad shoulder peeking from the edge of the blanket.

Probably hearing me drag my mattress across the tatami, the young man turned and lied down on his left side instead. I knelt down on my sheets, fluffing up the pillow by beating it slightly. It was then did I realise that the young man had fixated his sleepy gaze on me.

There he was, in his futon, lying on his side. His soft black hair, slightly ruffled up now, were the curtains to those deep brown windows which seemed to etch out into a faraway place. There was just something about his eyes that night, those deep brown eyes of his, under the dim glow of the tinted night light that reached out to me. I couldn't understand, but in those dreamy eyes of his, I thought I could see a slight tinge of sorrow.

He watched me as I slipped under my sheets, reaching out to switch off the night light. It was probably still rather early as compared to my usual bedtime, but the journey had left me rather tired, so I really wanted a well-deserved rest after all that travelling. It had been a while since I last felt that exhausted.

"Goodnight, Ayano-chan," I heard the young man say in the darkness as I lay there in my comfortable futon.

"Goodnight," I replied, snuggling against the sheets.

"I love you."

I didn't expect him to say something as sweet as that before I drifted off, but I couldn't help but feel the corners of my lip pull taut as I closed my eyes, thinking of the words that had echoed within my heart.

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I woke up in the middle of the night, my eyes wide open. Try as hard as I could, but I couldn't go back to sleep. Tossing and turning in my sheets, nothing worked. My heart was thumping in my ribcage, my chest tight with a strange sense of unease. I lay there for a few minutes, or even hours even, I didn't know, I didn't really keep track of the time. But what I did know was that when I checked my phone after knowing fully well that there was no way I was going to end up sleeping again it was only two thirty-seven in the morning.

Reaching out for the night light, I switched it on again, illuminating the tiny immediate area with a warm glow. My boyfriend was still fast asleep, his slight, light snores echoing in the otherwise silent room. The lack of any other sounds somewhat echoed his breathing against the hollow walls.

There was no way I could fall asleep again, especially not with the tight feeling over my chest. I had to resolve something. And I knew exactly what that something was.

Slipping out of my futon in a slow, ceremonious fashion, I treaded lightly across the tatami floor, careful not to wake Shuuya-kun up. Heading over to the wardrobe, I pushed it open as quietly as I could. I looked through the row of hanging clothes to find anything that I could wear over my nightdress. I hadn't thought of bringing any large pullover coats or shirts, so I thought that the hoodie that I had brought with me as an extra piece of clothing in any case that I needed it would suffice. I reached out for the light pink hoodie, but by doing so, accidentally brushed my hand against a hanger, causing it to fall along with the shirt hung on it, clanging onto the ground. It was a rather, soft, muted, metallic thud, but it still scared me nonetheless.

I looked over my shoulder at my boyfriend. The young man stirred slightly, but even that was enough to make me panic. Bending down I hurriedly draped Shuuya-kun's dark blue flannel shirt over my shoulders. Treading lightly back to the futon to grab my phone, I looked at Shuuya-kun again. The young man turned on his side, but I just assumed he was still sleeping. Relieved that I hadn't woken him up, I walked out of the room.

The corridors outside were all dark and dim, so I had to make my way with the light from the screen of my phone. My floral sneakers were still by the entrance, so I headed over there. As I sat down by the edge of the raised flooring, slipping on my socks, I thought I heard a noise behind me in the dark corridor, but when I turned around, I saw nothing. I stole a quick glance once again after I had put on my shoes, but there was still nothing of note save for the unmoving, unswaying stillness of the shadows.

Sliding the unlocked door open, I found myself outside in the cold night. The sky was a vast blanket of black littered with shining specks glittering in a dreamy harmony. The round moon was high amidst the clouds, its bright light illuminating the silhouettes of the dreary clouds. The faint pale moonlight alone seemed brighter than the dim lights along the winding street by the coast. Clutching the collar of Shuuya-kun's shirt, I began to walk, not really sure which way I should be walking. All I knew was that the town of Nosappu was on the edge, so I guessed walking slightly west would do the trick. It couldn't be that far could it?

As the wind blew through my hair, walking through the deep night with only the light of my phone screen as my guide, I was suddenly hit by a feeling of déjà vu. There was just something special about wearing my boyfriend's clothes over me as I ventured out into the night.

It was just like that night when Yukino-kun went out for a jog and I decided to follow him. I didn't have any clothes to wear over my nightdress so I put on his blazer instead. It was a fit too large for me, but it worked.

I could almost see the boy in front of me, in his dark blue shirt and grey sweatpants. I could almost visualise his slightly curly black locks on his head. I could almost picture him there, right in front of me, turning around to look at me, flashing me one of his shy, wry smiles on his thin lips.

I could almost feel his arms around me again, shielding me from this cold night, holding me tight as we tumbled down that forested hill back in Sapporo.

But of course, I would never get the chance to savour those sweet experiences ever again. Yukino-kun was dead, and that was the truth that had slowly made me accept it.

It was then when I heard something behind me. I told myself that it was probably a stray cat, or perhaps a fox, considering that it was in a considerably rural area. Well, whatever it was, I just hoped it didn't rush up to me and bit me or something. But even if it did, there wasn't really anything I could do about it.

Nevertheless something very bright managed to catch my eye, even though it was in my peripheral vision. It wasn't like anything that bright could get away in this serene darkness anyway. There was a beam of light coming from behind me, casting my shadow onto the road in front of me. I thought it was a car, but who would be driving at this time of night anyway? Turning around, I tried to see where the light was coming from.

And there he stood, clad in his loose grey shirt and dark blue shorts, holding a beaming flashlight in his right hand.

"Ayano-chan," he said, his voice clear and crisp in the silent night. "What are you doing out here?"

His brows forming a slight frown, his lips barely ajar, his entire expression was riddled with worry. The look on his face made me feel slightly guilty for not telling him about what I did. But even if I did, he probably wouldn't understand. He wouldn't be able to make sense out of it. Even I myself had trouble.

"I have something to settle," I finally told him. "It's important, I guess."

"You know," he said, scratching the back of his head. "You could have told me earlier."

The young man chuckled slightly, his broad shoulders more relaxed now. He heaved a sigh of relief, which seemed to echo in the vast darkness.

"So, where are we headed to?" he asked. "Are we going to go hide a corpse or something?"

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"I'm just kidding," he chuckled. "You seemed to be going somewhere, unless you're telling me you just wanted some fresh air."

"No," I shook my head. "That's not it."

"Then what about it?" he asked.

I fell silent for a while, before heaving a big sigh, looking down onto his shadow on the asphalt ground.

"I'm not really sure how to explain this to you," I finally spit out. "It's just that. . . I don't think you'll understand. I don't understand it either."

"It's fine," he replied, a miniscule smile on his thin lips. "Someone did tell me once that there doesn't have to be a reason for something to happen."

I only smiled back at him, before turning around, walking into the darkness with him by my side.

Our palms brushed occasionally as he bumped into me, but I had grown accustomed to the warmth of his touch. Although admittedly my heart was still thumping in my chest

Shuuya-kun shone the light onto the dark road ahead of us, the wind blowing gently. We walked and walked until we were out into the fields. We were surrounded by nothing but fields, vast empty fields under the vast empty sky.

I reached out for the young man's hand, and as soon as the warmth of his skin reached me, I felt him stop in his tracks just like I did.

"Here's fine," I told him. "Let's just stop here."

The young man complied silently, and noticing where my eyes were looking at, decided to aim the shining beam of the flashlight there.

Illuminated by the light, I could see the blades of tall grasses, swaying in the cold sea breeze, gently moving from left to right in a silent, lucid harmony. The white moon was to our left, a pure, pristine pearl against a black silk sheet embroidered with shimmering sequins.

My hand still held onto the young man's palm, his warm touch bringing some much-desired feeling of comfort against the cold, abandoned scenery. Even with the light, it was still rather hard to see what I was looking for. Squinting my eyes every now and then I finally found it.

There was no fog to conceal the far horizon, but pleasanty enough, it didn't feel so far anymore.

?pE