Origami Girl

Chapter 18: Tōryanse

You may pass, you may pass.

To where does this narrow pathway lead?

This narrow pathway leads to the Tenjin shrine.

Please allow me through

- Tōryanse

"I wonder why he's not here today. . ." I sighed, looking over to Yukino-kun's empty seat.

"Perhaps he's got a cold," Sayaka-chan said. "You know, people get sick very often nowadays."

"I doubt so, Yukino-kun's not the type of person who got sick easily," I replied, opening my lunchbox. "And this isn't the first time. . ."

"Did he tell you anything?" the other boy asked. "You're his girlfriend after all."

"Perhaps he's just playing hooky," Kashiwagi-san said. "I don't mean to sound like I'm looking down on your boyfriend, but he does seem to give an impression that he's the kind of kid who would do these types of things."

"Well, he doesn't seem to care about school in the first place," I said. "So I guess that's possible."

Sayaka-chan stole a glance at Kashiwagi-san, but the boy just shrugged his shoulders.

Silence fell upon the three of us, with our unopened lunch boxes out on the table. Without saying a word, the three of us opened our boxes to have our meals. For lunch, my mother had just packed some onigiri for me. She told me that morning that we ran out of salmon, but I didn't mind. It was a pity Yukino-kun was absent, or I could have shared some of my lunch with him. It was his favourite, after all.

I seriously wondered why my boyfriend decided not to show up in school today. Surely he couldn't have fallen sick, Yukino-kun was strong and healthy. As Kashiwagi-san and Sayaka-chan talked about something amongst themselves, I periodically stole a glance at Yukino-kun's empty seat, like I had been doing for the whole of the morning. As the teacher rattled on and on, I messaged Yukino-kun asking him where he was, but all I received in reply was silence. I was so worried I felt like picking up my phone and calling him, but I couldn't do that, can I?

"Ah, you're having sandwiches again today, Jarrett?" Sayaka-chan remarked.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "It was the only thing I could fix in a rush."

"Well, your mother packs you sandwiches too," she said. "Since you can make them yourself, I guess now you don't have to get her to make them for you."

"I only did it because my parents are both out of town," he replied.

"Is that why there're no vegetables in your sandwich today, Kashiwagi-san?" I added in. "Usually there would be some lettuce and cucumbers in your sandwich."

"That's because he hates vegetables," Sayaka-chan said, laughing. "But of course, his mother forces him to eat them."

Sayaka-chan told me that as I took a bite into my rice ball. Thank goodness I managed to stop myself from giggling, or I would have probably choked. An eighteen-year old who hates eating vegetables? Now that was something. Even Akio-kun eats his greens. I couldn't believe Kashiwagi-san was that type of person.

I guess the boy noticed me stifling my laughter, and his cheeks started to turn red. I felt rather bad for him, in fact, so I turned away, hoping that he wouldn't notice my laughter that I tried so hard to hold back.

"Sorry," I apologised to him. "I just found it rather fascinating that at this age, you still detest your vegetables."

"Well," the boy said, scratching the back of his head with his right palm. "I do eat them when I have to. Sayaka-chan just wants to make me sound childish."

"Ah," I replied, nodding my head. "I see."

"How about you, Furukawa-san?" Kashiwagi-san asked me. "Do you usually have onigiri for lunch?"

"Well," I told him, wiping away a rice grain from the brim of my lips. "Usually my mother would've packed me some rice and salmon, but today's different because she was in quite a rush. Can't blame her, really."

"It's been a while since I had some onigiri," the boy chuckled. "My mother rarely makes these type of food."

I was starting to wonder quite a bit. I knew of few mothers who rarely made rice balls. They were the easiest things to make, and work pretty well for a quick fix. Not to mention that they were rather filling as well. It wouldn't make sense if a mother who wants to pack some lunch for her child to avoid making this dish.

Sayaka-chan noticed my confusion, and thankfully managed to explain it to me.

"His mother's a German," Sayaka-chan told me.

"Oh," I replied, turning from the girl to the boy. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Kashiwagi-san said. " She isn't actually that fond of our food," he added with a laugh.

"I see," I answered. "So I guess that's why she packs you sandwiches instead?"

The boy chuckled and nodded his head, before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

Well, I could've guessed I suppose. I did know that Kashiwagi-san was Eurasian, by his looks and his name, but it was only then did I know that he was also German from his maternal side. It was a rather interesting fact to find out nonetheless.

"It's a pity Yukino-kun didn't come today," I said to the other two. "I would've given him some of my rice balls. He loves them."

"Nakayama-san likes rice balls?" Kashiwagi-san asked.

"Yeah. . ." I said, nodding my head slowly. "Back in the second year I brought some for a trip to Mount Hakodate when we went for a club outing last year. Yukino-kun really liked them."

"Are you sure he's not just saying so to make you feel happy?" Kashiwagi-san asked me again, before finishing up his food.

"Well, he told me that he rarely gets to taste home cooking," I answered. "So I guess he must have been pretty glad that he finally got to taste some of it. Besides, he ate most of it, so I'm sure he must have genuinely liked them."

"So. . . Nakayama-san's mother works?" Kashiwagi-san asked me.

"Yeah," I replied. "She's a lawyer."

"Ah," the boy replied. "I see."

I was afraid that he was going to probe into Yukino-kun's personal life, but I knew Yukino-kun probably didn't want to reveal to others that he was from a single parent family, so I was preparing to avert such a situation if Kashiwagi-san had pressed on. Fortunately, he didn't, and the three of us went back to talking about other things.

As Sayaka-chan and Kashiwagi-san discussed some things about physics, I decided to pick up my phone and give Yukino-kuna call. Seeing that I might disrupt everybody else's conversations, I excused myself from the classroom and left for the corridor outside.

Sliding the door shut behind me, I stepped outside, out of earshot of any of my classmates. The corridor was surprisingly empty, considering that it was in the middle of our lunch break. I was planning to move to the landing at the top of the stairwell near my classroom if there were many students in the corridor, but it seemed like that wasn't necessary.

My mind clear from the conversations of the classroom, I began to worry for Yukino-kun again. I took a deep breath, before dialling his number with a trembling finger. I brought the phone to my ear, and waited silently for an answer. I waited for his voice to pick up and say something to me from the other end of the line. I waited for him to tell me, with his deep but gentle voice that he was all right and that nothing had happened to him. I can only hope that he had just casually gone to play hooky without informing anyone. Even so that was still rather irresponsible of him.

Yet all I got was the ringing of his phone on the other line. It rang and rang without end, as if it were a placeholder of an eternal silence. I paced up and down the corridor, the phone ringing at my ear. Yet I kept trying. Once my phone automatically ended the call for being unanswered for too long, I started a new one. When that failed to get any response, I called his landline, alternating between phone numbers. Yet I still got no answers. It was as if I hadn't even existed to him.

I started to get rather fearful. What could have possibly happened to Yukino-kun? I had the urge to just call his older sister, whose number I had received a year back when I visited for his birthday, but I guess she must have been pretty busy with university so I stopped myself.

My phone stopped a call again automatically, the ringing sounds coming to an end. I sighed, and was about to select the contact number of Yukino-kun's home, when I heard the door slide open from the direction of the classroom. I was too busy frantically calling for Yukino-kun but I did manage to catch sight of who was at the door from the edge of my eyes.

"You're calling your boyfriend?" he asked me, as he stood there in the doorway.

"Yeah," I replied softly, my mind still focused elsewhere.

"Did he pick up?" the other boy asked, walking up beside me.

I could only shake my head as I listened to the ringing on the other side. There was still no answer from Yukino-kun.

"Well," the boy said. "The least he could do is answer."

Kashiwagi-san seemed rather irritated for some reason about Yukino-kun not answering my calls, so I tried to soothe the atmosphere a little. I gave up calling Yukino-kun and put my phone away.

"H-he might be busy, you know," I said, trying to make up an excuse.

"Hmph," the student council president grunted, leaning against the parapet. "Busy making his girlfriend worry unnecessarily it seems."

"Don't say that. . ." I replied. "Maybe he had an errand to run. . . Or he's just not feeling well and he's sleeping through the day."

"Right," Kashiwagi-san said, obviously not believing in any of the alibis I made to cover my boyfriend up. "But he's a delinquent after all, what do you expect?"

I kept quiet, not wishing to carry the conversation any further. 'Delinquent'. I kept hearing that word so many times. I guess that was the first word that people used to describe my boyfriend, not 'kind' nor 'caring'. Just 'delinquent'. Of course, just because he's cold, aloof and gets into fights, a 'delinquent' was what everyone else saw in him. There was more to Yukino-kun than that, but no one really cared. Whenever anybody said something bad or made a disparaging comment about Yukino-kun behind his back, I just kept my mouth shut. There was no use convincing other people about my boyfriend. People would question why I, the successful studious girl, ended up with a delinquent like Yukino-kun. One of the girls I talk to quite often on a small talk basis even went as far as to contrast my 'success' to Yukino-kun's 'failure'. Whenever people questioned me about this, I would just tell them that 'It was probably fate' or something along those lines. My answer never seemed to fail me, and those bearing the questions would just quietly accept.

On the other hand, Yukino-kun himself didn't seem to mind getting labelled either.

"Well, if I'm a delinquent, then so be it," he chuckled as we walked down the corridor during lunch a few weeks back.

"B-but that's not true," I replied, as I held my files close to my chest. "Yukino-kun's a nice person, you're no delinquent."

He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Well at least they don't have the guts to say that in front of me. I don't have to listen, that way," he added.

"And I am the one who has to listen to all the nonsense," I replied. "Sometimes, I really can't stand listening to all the things they say about you. You know what they call you? Not just a delinquent, but a failure. Failure. I really cannot accept that. Can you?"

Yukino-kun fell silent. I noticed that he bit his lower lip as we walked in silence down the corridor. He shoved his free hand into his pocket. He said nothing until a while later, when we had reached the font of the classroom.

"But that's true isn't it?" he said, all of a sudden.

"What do you mean?" I asked, bewildered.

"I am a failure, and that's all there is to it," he said, a wry smile on his lips.

"D-don't say that-"

But before I could continue, Yukino-kun let go of my hand and walked to his seat, hands shoved in his pockets.

There was nothing I could do but endure all the things being thrown around about Yukino-kun. Sometimes I felt like standing up for him, but probably wouldn't like it, so I just sat through all the malicious gossip. Everybody knew that he was my boyfriend, so I guessed they must have said even far worse things when I wasn't around. I didn't want to lose my newly-found social standing, and neither did I want to lose Yukino-kun. Thanks to Kashiwagi-san, I now spoke to more people than I had ever before. Sometimes a few girls would invite me to spend lunch with them, but I usually refused their offer politely, since Yukino-kun would probably feel lonely if he ate alone. I certainly didn't want Kameko-chan to swoop in and take the opportunity.

But I didn't have to fear. I was afraid that I would seem rude if I kept turning down the girls' offers, so one day, not long after my conversation with him at the corridor, I told Yukino-kun that I would be eating lunch with my friends. I apologised to him, but he told me that it was fine.

"I guess it wouldn't be really nice if you keep turning down their offers like that," he said.

"B-but you'll be alone," I said.

"I'll be fine," he replied with a laugh, leaning back into his chair. "It's not like I'm not used to it."

With a heavy heart, I grabbed my lunchbox and headed over to the girls. I remembered that there were three of them, but we were all calling each other on a last-name basis, but they were actually a rather nice group of girls and they were rather fun to talk to. They had been my classmates since the first year, and we usually just talked casually rarely, but recently because of Kashiwagi-san, I found myself growing closer to these girls.

"I'm glad you were able to join us today, Furukawa-san," the girl I knew as Himura-san said as I arrived at the table.

"I'm surprised you're not eating with your boyfriend today," another girl which went by Ishikawa-san said. "Did something happen?" she added, pushing her fringe to the side.

"No, no," I replied. "Nothing happened."

"Oh, that's great, then," she replied. "Relationships are quite complicated when you get into it."

"Ah," Yoshimura-san, who sat beside Himura-san suddenly exclaimed. "Talking about relationships, I have some really good news for all of you."

The girl seemed to be rather fidgety and couldn't keep still in her seat. I couldn't tell whether she was nervous or excited, but I was guessing probably the latter, since I knew Yoshimura-san to be a rather cheerful and outgoing type of girl.

"What is it?" I asked. "You seem all excited and jumpy."

"Eh. . ." she said, seemingly hesitating. "Actually, I confessed to a boy yesterday."

"And what did he do?" Ishikawa-san asked her, turning to face the excited girl who was flustered with joy.

"He accepted!" the girl squealed.

"Ah, that's great!" I congratulated her.

The other two then followed up as well, each offering her well wishes to the new couple. The three of us knew that Yoshimura-san had feelings for a certain boy, but she never told us who it was.

"It was at track practice yesterday, and he wasn't doing anything. . . So I mustered all my courage and asked him if I could talk to him for a moment," she said, suddenly blushing at recalling the defining moment. "Wait, aren't you in track and field, Furukawa-san? Did you see me?" she suddenly asked me.

All the heads at the table turned to look at me.

"Oh," I replied. "My boyfriend said he wasn't really interested in going for track yesterday, so we just went home together."

"Isn't your boyfriend Nakayama-san?" Ishikawa-san asked me. "He's a sprinter, isn't he? He won the 100 metres event the last time didn't he?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"Well, I thought he'd be giving his best for it if he's passionate," Ishikawa-san said. "So I was wondering why he skips out of club activities."

"To be honest. . ." I replied. "Ever since he's won the race he didn't seem so interested in track and field anymore."

"I saw the race," Himura-san said. "Your boyfriend's really fit."

"Yeah," I answered, giggling. "He forces me to run sometimes."

I noticed the three of them turning around. I knew they were looking at Yukino-kun. I turned to look as well.

Yukino-kun just sat there, eating alone. The table we were at was a few rows away from the last row, but Yukino-kun could clearly see us girls looking at him, since there was nothing but vacant tables separating the space between us.

I noticed the boy turning away from us, and staring out of the window. I guess he didn't really like being looked at.

"Ah," Himura-san suddenly said. "You were in the middle of your story, Haru-chan."

"Yeah, who's the lucky boy?" Ishiwaki-san asked, clasping her palms together in pleasant anticipation.

Yoshimura-san cleared her throat.

"Yamada Hiroshi-kun," she announced. "He's the vice-captain of the track and field club."

"I know him," I said. "He's a pretty nice boy. He'll listen to your problems if you have any."

"Ah, you know him from club?" Yoshimura-san asked me.

"Actually," I replied. "I've known him from junior high school."

 "How was he back then?" the girl asked me.

"Well, pretty much the same, character wise," I told her. "Looks wise. . . All I can say is that he has changed a lot."

The other two girls then brought another topic up, and we soon started talking about the latest issue of a fashion magazine. The autumn collection wasn't that attractive, they said. We talked about the upcoming instalment of the Tokyo Girls Collection for Autumn/Winter, and the other three seemed just as excited as I was. Nevertheless, the conversation seemed to return to its original course, as if it was the most natural thing to do.

"Actually," Yoshimura-san said, her cheeks blushing. "I'm a bit embarrassed to say this, but this is actually my first ever relationship, so I'm kind of nervous."

"It'll be fine," I reassured her. "Sure, there'll be challenges, but if you persevere, it'll all work out in the end."

"Ah, Furukawa-san," Yoshimura-san addressed me. "How long have you been in a relationship with your boyfriend?"

"About a year, I think," I replied.

"Well then, you must have had some experience!" the girl exclaimed. "Do you mind sharing some relationship advice?"

"I don't think I'm in a position to do so," I giggled awkwardly. "There's still many things I haven't experienced."

"But don't you have anything to share?" Yoshimura-san asked. "Your one year with Nakayama-san is a lot compared to my one day with Yamada-kun."

"Well, I guess what's most important in the relationship is that you'd need a lot of patience," I said. "But Yamada-kun's a nice person so I doubt he'll pose any problem."

The girls looked at each other, before they looked at me again. Their eyes seemed to be locked at me.

"So. . ." Ishikawa-san said. "What have you and Nakayama-san done together?"

As soon as I heard it, I could feel my cheeks getting warmer. They noticed, of course, as Himura-san instantly cut in.

"Well, please don't get the wrong idea!" the girl giggled. "We were just curious about what the both of you do together as a couple, but if you're too embarrassed to share with us then that's all right if you don't want to."

"N-no," I replied. "Yukino-kun and I did nothing of that sort."

The girls all giggled.

"Well, I guess you're comfortable to share then," Ishikawa-san added.

I thought for a moment. What were the moments I shared together with Yukino-kun? There were just too many that came to my mind.

"Yukino-kun and I, well," I began. "We go home together, he picks me up sometimes in the morning if he's cycling, we go to track together, we eat lunch together, you know, those type of stuff."

"That. . . Didn't really sound that exciting," Himura-san said. "My ex-boyfriend used to take me out to a lot of places."

"I have never been in a relationship so I don't really think I'm in the position to judge," Ishikawa-san said.

"Have you kissed Nakayama-san before?" Yoshimura-san asked me.

"Eh," I said, rather shocked at the suddenness of her question. "Well, only once," I told her.

"Once?" they all asked, as if it wasn't a natural thing to do at all.

"Well, kisses are special, that's how I find them," I began, my cheeks getting warm. "So the lesser you get, the more precious each one is."

The girls looked at each other and nodded their heads. They seemed to get my point and agreed to it.

It was then when Kashiwagi-san and Sayaka-chan approached us.

"Do you mind if we join in?" Kashiwagi-san asked, lunchbox in hand.

The four of us agreed, and I shifted my chair aside, so the newcomers could drag another table to join up with us. I ended up sitting facing Sayaka-chan, with Kashiwagi-san seated on my right, at the edge of my table.

"So. . ." Kashiwagi-san began. "What were you girls talking about?"

I had planned on a bluff, since I had a feeling Kashiwagi-san probably had nothing good to say about Yukino-kun. I don't blame him, based on how Yukino-kun had treated him, but well, I just thought that it wasn't really fair for them to criticise Yukino-kun like that.

But before I could say anything, Yoshimura-san had already blurted it out.

"Ah, we were just asking Furukawa-chan about her experience with Nakayama-san," the girl said jovially.

I immediately saw Kashiwagi-san's expression change.

"Oh," he said in a rather sly tone, turning around to face Yukino-kun. "You mean that lonely good-for-nothing over there?"

It was obvious that Yukino-kun could hear him, and I knew Kashiwagi-san was smart enough to know that. From where I was, I could see Yukino-kun staring out of the window, ignoring Kashiwagi-san's disparaging insult.

But that wasn't the end of it.

"You know, he's really violent," Kashiwagi-san said. "The other day he shoved me, but I managed to land a punch on his face."

"Eh," Ishikawa-san asked. "Why would he do that?"

"What kind of lowlife would use violence like that?" Yoshimura-san gasped.

"Well, he's a delinquent," Kashiwagi-san sneered. "What would you expect?"

The other three girls who were originally with me began murmuring amongst themselves. For a moment it seemed like everybody there forgot that Yukino-kun was my boyfriend. I looked at Sayaka-chan and she shook her head. I knew she disapproved of it as well. But the both of us kept quiet, and let Kashiwagi-san go ahead mouth-bashing my boyfriend. There was nothing I could do but to listen and endure the painful conversation. I knew if I tried to defend Yukino-kun, things would probably get more heated, and worse come to worst, Yukino-kun might come over and beat the life out of Kashiwagi-san if he heard me arguing with the other boy.

In the midst of the malicious gossiping session, in which neither Sayaka-chan or I took part in, I managed to steal a glance at Yukino-kun in the background. I put my hands together in apology, but he just smiled reassuringly at me.

After school that day,  while I was heading home together withYukino-kun, I received a call. It was from Kashiwagi-san. He was slightly hesitant in talking at first, but then I could hear Sayaka-chan's voice prodding him in the background, so I could roughly guess what he wanted to talk about.

"Hey, Furukawa-san. . ." he said over the line. "I just wanted to apologise for just now. I shouldn't have said all of that in front of you."

I could hear Sayaka-chan murmur something in the background.

"I-I mean," the boy said again. "I shouldn't have said all of that at all."

I just grunted in reply, since I didn't really want Yukino-kun to find out what the conversation was about. I was kind of scared that my boyfriend would just grab my phone and yell into it if he knew that it was Kashiwagi-san.

"That was pretty low of me to do that," he said. "And I hope you'd forgive me."

I told him that it was all right, and our conversation ended there.

"Who was that?" Yukino-kun asked me once I had put my phone away.

I gulped.

"Ah," I mumbled. "That was Kashiwagi-san."

"I see," he replied, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Well," I continued. "He called to apologise to me about just now."

I immediately regretted what I said. If only I could swallow back those words, my mind thought back then. I shouldn't have let him know that Kashiwagi-san apologised only to me. Yukino-kun seemed to pick up what was troubling me.

"You know," he said, scratching his neck. "If he doesn't want to apologise to me, I couldn't care less."

"Well. . ." I said. "What he said was rather rude."

"I can't be bothered," Yukino-kun replied. "He can say whatever he wants, you know."

We walked a little further before Yukino-kun spoke again.

"If he had laid a finger on you I would have beaten him to pulp," he snickered, cracking his fists.

"Oh, come on," I replied. "You know he's rather capable of fighting back, right? You don't want to end up with a bleeding nose again."

The boy blushed, and a sheepish smile crept up his thin lips.

"At least I know you'll be there to help me," he said to me. "Anyway, I'd like to ask you something."

"What is it?" I asked him.

"Let's say," he began, looking towards the autumn sky. "If Kashiwagi-san and I both got into a fight, and we were both beaten up by each other, who would you help first?"

"Well," I said. "It depends. If you had a scratch on your face and Kashiwagi-san had a dislocated shoulder, of course I'll help Kashiwagi-san, if you know what I mean."

"What if we both had our shoulders dislocated?" he asked me.

"Well, if that's the case, then I'll see who was in the right and who was in the wrong," I replied.

The boy fell silent.

"Look," I told him. "I know where you're trying to get at."

Yukino-kun turned and looked at me.

"No matter how close I seem to be with Kashiwagi-san, he is still just a friend," I told him. "Of course, you mean more to me."

"That's really nice to hear," the boy said, a wry smile on his lips. "You're really precious to me as well, Ayano-chan."

"Thank you," I replied.

We walked for a little further before Yukino-kun spoke again.

"Sometimes. I think it's a miracle that I got such a nice girlfriend like you," he began. "I mean, everyone else is scared of me. They don't even want to talk to me. But well, I don't really care about that as long as I have you by my side."

"You're not scary, Yukino-kun," I told him. "You're really a nice boy."

"I'm just a delinquent, aren't I?" he said.

"Well, whatever you say," I replied.

I admit, sometimes I myself was tired of listening to the degrading things that was said about my boyfriend, but to listen to him accept it readily, unquestioning, made me even more tired. But now, looking back, I shouldn't have worried myself over it. Yukino-kun didn't really bother about anything else other than me, and his mother.

"As long as both my mother and you don't leave me," he said. "I'll be fine."

"Well, I hope it stays that way," I replied, not really knowing what to say.

I tended to get a little bit squeamish whenever Yukino-kun went about to talk about himself. I pitied him, and what I went through back at Onuma, or when my relationship with Hayate-kun broke down, was nothing compared to what Yukino-kun went through. To go through a divorce at such a young age, and having witnessed his own mother attempting to take her own life, I suppose it must be very hard. That was why I couldn't accept it when people were so quick to judge Yukino-kun as a delinquent, insecure, or whatever else they used to call him. None of them knew Yukino-kun. None of them knew how he ended up like this. It just wasn't fair.

"It's just that," I said as we stood there waiting for the tram. "I just can't accept it when people pass judgement on you like they're passing remarks on something so insignificant. It's just not fair."

"Let's talk about something else," the boy said. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"But it surely must hurt you, wouldn't it?" I said, inching closer to him.

I reached out to his bare forearm, the sleeves of his blazer pushed back to his elbow. My fingers held onto his arm.

"I'll tell them to stop, if you want to," I told him. "Even I myself can't stand it when they say all kinds of things about you."

Yukino-kun suddenly yanked his arm away.

"I told you," he said, raising his voice. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

I fell silent, not knowing what to say. I guess Yukino-kun didn't want me to help him, and he didn't really care about what people had to say about him.

"Look," he said in a gentler tone. "I just don't want you to fuss yourself over me."

I wanted to tell him that I didn't mind, but a part of me told me that I should just leave it at that. If Yukino-kun didn't want me to meddle into his affairs, then I would gladly step back. I guess he could deal with it himself.

"I don't want to sound like I'm a jerk or anything," he said. "But I'm really uncomfortable when girls try to help me. It's hard to explain."

"I understand," I mumbled in reply, taking a step away from him.

"No, you don't," he replied. "You're not a man, you won't understand."

I kept quiet. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me, but it still stung anyway. Even after all the tribulations he went through he still had one heck of an ego.

Self-respect. That was something Yukino-kun possessed yet did not have. On one hand he wished to remain independent, not reliant on anyone, yet he condoned and agreed to the disparaging things said about him. That was one of the few things that had me rather confused about Yukino-kun. But I shouldn't have worried. After all, we were just a pair of confused youngsters picking up the shattered fragments of our newly found identities.

"I'm just a delinquent anyway," he said. "So why do you care?"

I wished I hadn't told him what the others had called him. He kept on dwelling on it, it even came to the point where the only person who used the word to describe him more than himself was Kashiwagi-san. Well, Kashiwagi-san was the source of all of it anyway. I guessed he must have judged Yukino-kun by how aggressive he was back at the library, but I still felt that it was an unfair way to judge a person. He didn't know what Yukino-kun went through, yet all he does is calling him a delinquent whenever he had the chance. And just like a disease, Yukino-kun caught it and began to apply it to himself as well.

As I stood there in the corridor, phone in hand, Kashiwagi-san beside me, I worried that Yukino-kun had started behaving like a true delinquent as well. I was worried sick. He wasn't in school, where on earth could he be?

Kashiwagi-san might be right. Even I myself did not believe the excuses I made up for Yukino-kun.

"For all you know, he might be at some stairwell sniffing glue," Kashiwagi-san said. "Well, these type of people like to destroy themselves."

I was getting tired of listening to him. He only said these types of things when Sayaka-chan wasn't around. He may have had apologised but I guess his distaste for Yukino-kun was still alive and kicking.

"Anyway," I said, suddenly turning around. "What are you doing here in the corridor anyway? Are you also concerned for my delinquent of a boyfriend?"

Kashiwagi-san seemed to get it by my tone.

"Well," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I was actually going to head over to the men's."

"Then go," I told him. "I don't need you here insulting my boyfriend."

"Fine," he said. "Sorry."

With that, he walked down the corridor, exchanging some words with a few classmates who were coming from the opposite direction. They smiled and laughed before Kashiwagi-san turned a corner and entered the restroom.

If Yukino-kun had been like Kashiwagi-san, I thought, then certainly he wouldn't be labelled as a 'delinquent'. Even if he did these so-called acts that would qualify for delinquency, I'm sure he wouldn't be labelled as such. If Yukino-kun had been a popular, talkative and a friendly boy, and if he had skipped school and sniffed glue, I was certain they would have seen him as 'cool' instead. But if it was the damaged, quiet, unsociable Yukino-kun doing the aforementioned deeds, he was a 'delinquent'. The world was rotten with hypocrisy.

But I guess, it was merely a truth I had to accept. I quietly trudged my way into the classroom. I went over to Sayaka-chan's seat where my lunchbox was. Sayaka-chan had already finished her lunch, and she had already cleared her lunchbox from the table. She was looking through her bag when I arrived.

"Ah, you're back already?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said, sitting down on the seat beside Sayaka-chan.

"You went to call Nakayama-san didn't you?" she questioned.

"I did," I replied, placing my mobile phone on the table. "How did you know?"

"Well," she said. "I had a feeling. You seemed troubled all morning, so I thought it must be about your boyfriend."

I nodded my head.

"I guess he didn't reply, did he?" Sayaka-chan said. "You seem more worried than ever."

"I don't know, Sayaka-chan," I said. "I don't know whether he's all right or not. For all you know he may be out of town."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Sayaka-chan said. "Think positive, all right?"

I nodded silently, and that was when Kameko-chan arrived. I could smell her scent as she approached. That day, however, she wasn't donning on her vanilla fragrance, and she went with milder lavender. It was a while since I last talked to her, but I was still not comfortable to do so.

Her hair was slightly wavy, probably having permed her hair over the weekend at the hair salon that she told me about back when we used to hang out more. She wore a light pink sweater over her long-sleeved school blouse.

Kameko-chan went over to sit at the seat beside Sayaka-chan, facing me. She began to talk with Sayaka-chan about something that I wasn't really paying attention to. I assumed that she would exclude me from the conversation like she had been, especially ever since the incident with the Valentine's chocolates. That lunch break was the first time I had ever been in such close proximity with Kameko-chan, since the last time I saw her in tears at Kashiwagi-san's match a few weeks back.

"That's true right, Ayano-chan?" her sweet voice suddenly addressed me.

I was slightly surprised that she wanted to address me, but it was more of because I had not even the slightest idea what she had been talking about, since I was too busy fidgeting with my nails and worrying about Yukino-kun to actually care.

"Pardon?" I asked in clarification.

"I'm sure you're excited for the Autumn Collection, aren't you?" the girl said, looking at me.

One look at her hazel eyes, and it told me all I needed to know. I somehow felt like the heavy, cold aura she had whenever I was near her was suddenly lifted. Her eyes were sweet and clear, the eyes you won't expect of someone who would hate you. I guess she must have decided to put our differences aside and maybe she was rethinking about our friendship.

I, too, was rather receptive, since I had always been hoping to patch up my relationship with Ka-chan. I treasured our friendship, and prior to that, I only thought that it was merely wishful thinking. The girl didn't seem to act cold towards me at all. Deep in my heart, I felt somewhat relieved.

"Well yes," I replied rather nervously. "Of course I am."

"Are you going to watch the live stream online?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said. "I guess."

"I see," the girl said, before proceeding to talk with Sayaka-chan about something else.

I didn't really pay attention to what he said, since I was still preoccupied with Yukino-kun in my mind. I wanted to talk to Sayaka-chan, to tell her how worried I was, how I feared Yukino-kun might do. I knew Sayaka-chan was a rational girl, and she would help me sort these troublesome emotions out. I trusted her more than I had trusted Kameko-chan. I was sure she probably knew that there was something obviously going on between Ka-chan and I, but she made no comments about it. She took no sides, and neither was she nosing around, inching to know what was happening. Nevertheless, if I poured out whatever I had held deep in my heart, I was certain Sayaka-chan would be willing to listen to me. It was always nice to go to her for advice, she would analyse the situation, taking a step back to view the whole picture, and carefully planned out what she had to say. Honest and straightforward, she never gave me the impression that she was skirting around and hiding things from me.

But I couldn't talk to her then, could I? What with Kameko-chan sitting right across me, her sweet smiles fickly dancing around, like an elusive shadow. I had to keep quiet.

Although superficially I felt like Kameko-chan had warmed up to me, I still felt suspicious of her, especially since I didn't fully trust her. Somewhere deep inside I feared that if Kameko-chan sensed any faults in our relationship, she would swoop in and feast, like a vulture. Throughout my time with her I never confronted her about Yukino-kun. I never dared to do so. Besides, there wasn't any other way to do so,  if it were to be looked at from an outsider's perspective. Kameko-chan had never directly try to so-call steal my boyfriend away from me, and neither did she make it clear that she was aiming for Yukino-kun. But her actions told me, of course, and she knew that as well. Nevertheless, I couldn't make a move against her, without allowing Ka-chan to make herself look like the victim. I guessed that was a bit too risky for me, especially since I had finally found the courage to talk to other people.

Thankfully, after what seemed like forever, she left the two of us alone, just as Kashiwagi-san returned from the bathroom. Kameko-chan walked past Kashiwagi-san, greeting him, before joining up with another group of girls at the other end of the class.

"So. . ." the boy said as he approached us. "You girls seemed to have quite a conversation."

"Oh, it wasn't really anything," I said to him as he sat down on the chair which Ka-chan had only just vacated.

"So, you're talking with Kameko-chan now?" he asked me.

"Well," I replied, not really knowing how to explain the situation to him. "I guess you could say so," I finally blurted after some hesitation, the first response I could come up with.

"We were just talking about the upcoming TGC," Sayaka-chan told him. "You know what we're referring to, right?"

"Well, Kameko-chan used to talk a lot about it last year," he said.

"Ah, you were quite close to her last year weren't you?" I asked him. "I saw you on the tram together once. It was a rainy autumn afternoon. Don't you remember?"

"Oh yes," he said. "You were with your boyfriend then, right? I remember you hiding underneath his blazer like a kind of blanket. I guess you were hiding from Kameko-chan then, weren't you?"

"Eh?" I asked in surprise. "Y-you saw me?"

"Well, it doesn't take a genius to know who the person sitting beside Nakayama-san is," Kashiwagi-san said. "He only talks to you, in the first place."

"I hope Ka-chan didn't notice me back then. . ." I replied.

"Well, I don't really know," the boy said. "She didn't mention anything about it."

"I'm sure she must have noticed you," Sayaka-chan said. "I mean, you were shrouding yourself with Nakayama-san's blazer. If that doesn't attract attention then I don't know what will."

"I-I guess you're right. . ." I said in reply. "Ka-chan would have surely notice, wouldn't she?"

"Talking about that boyfriend of yours," Kashiwagi-san. "Has he answered any of his calls?"

I shook my head reluctantly.

"No," I muttered. "He hasn't."

"Hmph," Kashiwagi-san said. "I kind of expected it."

"Jarrett," Sayaka-chan said in a rather authoritative tone of voice. "Didn't we already talk about this?"

"Yeah, yeah," the boy replied, dragging his voice, as if he was tired of listening to Sayaka-chan  remind him over and over again. "No bad mouthing, right."

I thought of Yukino-kun. His birthday was coming soon, so I guess I should get a present for him. The problem was, I had no idea what to get for him. I had already gotten him a keychain for the last birthday he had, so I was quite unsure about what to get. I remembered Kameko-chan had already bought him guitar picks as well, so I guess that was out of the question as well. I knew Yukino-kun liked cats, but surely I'm not going to buy him a cat for his birthday right?

"Come on," Sayaka-chan said. "I'm sure he's fine, Ayano-chan."

I was slightly confused. Having been lost in my own thoughts for a while I had no idea what was going on.

"You look really troubled again," Sayaka-chan said. "So I thought you must be thinking about Nakayama-san."

"Ah," I said, finally understanding the situation. "But it wasn't because of that actually. . ."

"Eh?" Sayaka-chan replied. "If that's the case then, what's the matter?"

"Actually. . ." I began. "Yukino-kun's birthday is coming soon, and I'm not sure what I should get for him."

"You're a really funny one," Kashiwagi-san chuckled. "Your boyfriend's skipped school, and there you are, once you're done worrying about his absence, you worry about his birthday present."

"Do you have any idea on what to buy for him then?" Sayaka-chan asked me. "What does he like?"

"Well," I said. "Yukino-kun likes playing his guitar, and he likes nuzzling cats."

"I'm surprised that starting fights isn't one of his hobbies," Kashiwagi-san commented.

Sayaka-chan looked at the boy sitting across her and sighed.

"Why don't we go out this afternoon?" the girl offered. "We can shop for Nakayama-san's present together."

"Sure," I told her. "I appreciate that."

"But Jarrett should come along as well, since I'm no good with dealing with boys my age," the girl said. "Say, are you free Jarrett?"

"Of course," the boy said. "But what do you mean you're no good dealing with boys your age? We've known each other since we were. . . three, remember?"

"Well, you're just a kid to me so you don't count," the girl giggled.

The boy stuck his tongue out at her, and I couldn't help but laugh myself. I didn't know there was this playful, childish side to Kashiwagi-san as well. Yukino-kun might be brash, but he wasn't childish. Well, it was nearly comical for me to contrast the both of them with each other.

"Our lunch is almost over," Sayaka-chan said, looking at the clock mounted on top of the blackboard. "Why don't you call your boyfriend one more time, Ayano-chan?"

With a fatigued heart, I picked up my phone again.

And with a fatigued heart, I received no response.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Sayaka-chan and I waited for Kashiwagi-san near the shoe lockers, since he said he needed to go to the student council room to sort out some administration matters. Sometimes I wondered how Kashiwagi-san could find all the time for the responsibilities he had, yet could maintain a good standing in his own field of sports as well as his studies.

I, who did nothing but study, browsing fashion blogs and going out with Yukino-kun have nothing to be proud of if I compared myself with Kashiwagi-san, then tallied up our achievements. Sure, I did beat him by a few ranks, but that was nothing to compensate for all his other commitments.

I remembered that day, a few weeks after mid-terms ended. Everybody gathered around the main noticeboards that morning before heading to class to check their rankings on the level notice board. Yukino-kun and I tried to reach up to the board, but there were just too many people. Yukino-kun was tall, so he was able to see past the sea of heads and read out my placing to me, a smile on his face. I ranked fifth, overall, with Kashiwagi-san coming in at ninth. Sayaka-chan was at the fifteenth rank, stating that her language subjects were the ones that pulled her score down. I caught sight of Kameko-chan's name somewhere in the middle of the list, somewhere around the sixtieth or sixty-first place. Yukino-kun on the other hand, was near the bottom tier, his position the hundredth-and-twenty-second, one of the lowest scorers for the batch.

But he didn't seem to mind at all. Yukino-kun just went on with his day as per usual, staring outside the window and sleeping in class, not really bothered about his terrible results. Perhaps he seemed so carefree and apathetic about it since I was the one busy doing all the worrying for him. I never brought up the topic about his future ever since he got irritated at me the other day in summer, when he went to my house after starting a fight with Kashiwagi-san. Nevertheless I did plan on bringing up the topic again sometime soon. It was inevitable, and we had to discuss about it, whether he liked it or otherwise.

"Oh there you are Jarrett," Sayaka-chan said as Kashiwagi-san appeared, walking down the corridor.

"Well," he said, stretching his arms in front of him as he walked. "It couldn't be helped."

"It sure seemed like you had quite something to deal with," Sayaka-chan said, inferring from the fact that the both of us girls had to wait thirty minutes for him to be done with whatever student council issues that he had.

"There was a meeting to discuss about the second-years' camp for their student leaders, as well as some accounts that I had to sort out," the boy replied.

"Sounds like quite some work there," I remarked.

"You bet," came his reply.

 In class, I was busy thinking of what I could get my boyfriend for his birthday. I was still rather at a loss on what to get for Yukino-kun when suddenly, Himura-san, who was seated a few seats in front of me raised her hand to ask the teacher a question. She was wearing a pink sweater over her long-sleeved blouse, and that was when an idea struck me. Her sweater somehow stuck out to me. I decided that perhaps I should gift some clothes to Yukino-kun. I'm sure he would appreciate it.

But the problem was, I was rather unsure of what Yukino-kun's size was. That was why it was a great thing Kashiwagi-san tagged along, so that I could use him as a gauge to measure what Yukino-kun's size could have been like. I knew for sure Yukino-kun was taller than Kashiwagi-san by perhaps three-quarters of a head as well as having broader shoulders, so I should get him perhaps one or two sizes larger than the size that fits well on Kashiwagi-san.

"So, where are we going?" the boy asked the both of us.

"I was thinking more on the lines of clothes," I replied. "So, do you know any nice places where I can buy men's apparel?"

"Well," Sayaka-chan said. "I do know of a few places in town, but we can also go to Uniqlo too if you want."

In the end we decided to head over into the city to check out the shops over there. The three of us took the tram down south a few stops, where we got off and began to comb the shops in the area.

The first few shops we went too were rather bland, I found in my taste. I didn't think Yukino-kun would like any of the clothes that they sold. As the three of us were looking through the shirts hung in the third shop we entered, I tried to recall what I've seen Yukino-kun wear.

I guess Yukino-kun liked the colour blue. Indeed, on the most part I've only remembered seeing him in different shades of blue other than his school uniform. During the summer of our second year, he wore a blue denim jacket. When I went to his house for his birthday last year, he was also wearing blue. I guess the only time when I remember him wearing something other than blue or white was the time when I lent him Akio-kun's grey shirt after my boyfriend's school shirt was stained by his blood. I wondered if he had any other colours in his closet, I'm sure there are other colours that suit him too.

"What do you think he'd like, Ayano-chan?" Sayaka-chan asked me as we browsed through the T-shirts hung on the rack.

They were all, too my taste, a little too bright for Yukino-kun. The colours were a little to the sunny, warm side, and I felt that Yukino-kun wouldn't like wearing those colours. Sure, I personally felt that he could look nice wearing some bright but soft colours, especially with a smile on his face. I could only imagine my boyfriend, walking beside me in a pale yellow tee and white shorts, his black, slightly curly hair fluttering in the summer wind. His hazel eyes, through the gaps of his fringe, would gaze at me with a comfortable warmth as a bright smile curled up his lips. But I guess that was just wishful thinking.

The truth was, Yukino-kun hadn't been smiling much recently.

"Well," I said, looking at the orange tee Sayaka-chan held in front of her. "Do you think Nakayama-san would like this?"

I silently shook my head.

"I don't think he likes bright colours," I replied.

"Then how about this?" Kashiwagi-san said, pulling out a black long-sleeved shirt from the rack in a rush. "That boy looks so gloomy everyday anyway, so there's no point trying to get him something bright."

Sayaka-chan and I looked at each other, not saying a word. Sayaka-chan shook her head forlornly, and we both ignored the boy's snide remark.

Kashiwagi-san seemed to look slightly restless as the both of us girls tried looking for a gift suitable for Yukino-kun. Seeing that there was nothing else that interested us in the store, the three of us decided to make a move.

"Well," Sayaka-chan said. "I do know a store down the street that sells some men's clothes as well. We can check that out too if you want to."

I agreed, and we set off down the street to our destination. Along the way there, we passed a shop selling cosmetics. It was a little store with a pink storefront, displaying the latest seasonal cosmetic sets, perfumes, nail polish and the like. I was rather tempted to take a look inside with Sayaka-chan, but I had to stay focused. I guess Kashiwagi-san also wouldn't like it if we spent too much time looking through the things at a cosmetic shop, since there was probably nothing for him there.

Next, we passed a boutique selling fashion for young women. The shop was blue, with French bay windows and a glass door. A blackboard sign, with the character for 'open' written on it in chalk, hung from the side of the door. The mannequins on the pedestal donned on petite dresses, in various shades of pastel and white. I gazed at the pretty outfits through the display window as I walked past, thinking how great it would be if I could buy them all and add them to my closet.

Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks. Sayaka-chan and Kashiwagi-san who were in front of me stopped walking and turned around. The outfits were cute, but that wasn't what caught my attention.

"What's wrong, Ayano-chan?" Sayaka-chan asked me, walking up towards me.

I pointed towards the large clipboard on a stand behind the mannequins. The two immediately shifted their attention to where I was pointing.

It was an advertisement, its surface laminated, making it appear rather shiny. It was announcing the release of the boutique's new autumn collection in curly, thin handwriting, just like how a girly girl would write. On the clipboard was also a picture of a model. She had silky black hair, her fringe swept sweetly to the right. She wore a white lace cardigan over a peach knee-length dress. Her smile was graceful, and there was a tinge of sparkle in her eyes.

The model was Kameko-chan.

"That's Kameko-chan, isn't it?" Sayaka-chan muttered in surprise. "I didn't know that she did any modelling jobs. Did she tell you?"

"No," I replied softly. "She did not."

But I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised. Ever since I stumbled upon her pictures on the late Yoshitsugu-san's blog, I sort of had an idea that Ka-chan was somehow involved in the modelling scene. I also had the same suspicions when I found out that she was friends with a few third-years who were in modelling last year. But I've never asked her. I didn't dare to. I had a feeling that she somehow kept the fact a secret from me, for some reason. A reason which I did not understand. The secrets and uncertainty we had each other only served to drive us apart.

Did Kameko-chan not trust me with this type of information? If she didn't want anyone to know, she could tell me not to talk about it to anyone. Yes, perhaps she viewed me with suspicion, just like how I view her.

Nevertheless one part of me tried to console myself, telling myself that the friendship with Kameko-chan was going fine, especially now, when she seems more willing to start a conversation with me, just like it was back then, before this entire fiasco with Yukino-kun began. Before she put those chocolates in his locker.

"I thought she would tell you guys," Kashiwagi-san said, slinging his bag over his right shoulder.

Sayaka-chan and I turned around to look at the boy, who seemed rather shocked that we had no knowledge whatsoever about Ka-chan's modelling work.

"How come you know about this?" I asked him. "I'm her best friend yet she never told me, so how is it that you know?"

"Well," he replied, scratching the back of his head. "She did told me, once."

"When?" I asked him, rather eager to know.

"Erm. . ." the boy mumbled awkwardly. "She showed me some photos of her from her photoshoot when we went out once."

"You're in a relationship with Kameko-chan?" Sayaka-chan asked. "Well, I kind of suspected it, but since neither of you said anything, I didn't want to just jump to conclusions."

"Well actually. . ." the boy muttered, his gaze wandering to the pavement. "We weren't."

"But I thought you were going out?" Sayaka-chan asked.

I, who sort of knew the full picture, or at the very least, a clearer picture of the situation than Sayaka-chan, chose to remain silent. I felt that it was best that Kashiwagi-san told her himself.

"I did confess to her at the school festival last year," he said, his cheeks turning red. "But she rejected me. She said she couldn't let go of-"

Kashiwagi-san suddenly stopped himself. He tapped his foot for a while, before looking up directly at me.

"Actually," he said to me. "I'm not sure whether I should tell you this, but I feel that you should know."

"What is it?" I asked, stealing a glance at my watch.

The boy seemed to be searching for the words to say to me, before he suddenly turned around and said it was nothing, laughing awkwardly. I knew something was rather amiss, but I just let the matter slip. I was too busy worrying about Yukino-kun's present to care anyway.

Talking about Yukino-kun, he still hasn't answered any of my calls.

We entered the next shop, and Sayaka-chan and I spent some time looking through the clothes on sale. The shop's collection was rather decent, and there were some clothes which I actually felt suited Yukino-kun well. The clothes there were generally of a darker shade, and there was quite a variety of garments to browse through.

"There's a lot of dark colours over here," Ka-chan said. "I'm sure Nakayama-san might like one of these."

I found a rack of baseball jackets, and spotted one with a dark blue torso and faded white sleeves. The buttons down the front were white , and there were two pockets at the side, enough to satisfy Yukino-kun's habit of shoving his hands in his pocket. It was perfect. I took its hanger out from the rack, and showed it to Sayaka-chan.

"What do you think about this one?" I asked her.

"Well, I think that would look great on your boyfriend," she said. "Just make sure you manage to get him the correct size, that's all."

I noticed in the corner of my eye Kashiwagi-san also looking at clothes. I guess he was bored, being dragged along with these two girls to shop for one of their boyfriend's birthday present. Furthermore, he wasn't really on good terms with that aforementioned boyfriend in the first place. I wasn't sure if he even wanted to follow us in the first place, he probably just agreed to avoid offending me. Nevertheless, I would certainly appreciate it if he could keep his remarks about Yukino-kun to himself. They were getting rather irritating.

"Could you please come over here, Kashiwagi-san?" I called out to him.

"Well, what is it?" he asked me as he approached.

I looked at the baseball jacket hanging from the hanger I held in my hand, before looking at the boy in front of me.

"Could you try this on?" I requested. "Please?"

"S-sure," the boy stuttered.

With that, he dropped his bag to the floor and slid out of his blazer. He called out to Sayaka-chan, before tossing his blazer in her direction, landing right in her arms.

Flustered, the boy received the baseball jacket from me, and donned it on. He buttoned up fully and looked at himself in the mirror on the wall. It was just the right size for him, so I calculated that I needed one or two sizes bigger for Yukino-kun. I supposed a size bigger was just enough for my boyfriend.

"Ah," Sayaka-chan said. "You look great, Jarrett."

"Thanks," the boy said, still looking at the mirror.

Indeed he looked rather nice in that jacket, but too bad it wasn't for him. However, he didn't realise that. There was a bright smile on his face.

"But aren't we buying a present for your boyfriend, Furukawa-san?" he asked me, his cheeks turning red. "Anyway. . . Thanks. But I'll pay you back you know. How much is it?"

"I think you misunderstand," I said, trying to sound as civil as possible. "Well yes, I am buying a present for Yukino-kun. I was just testing for the size."

The boy's smile faded, and he nodded his head.

"I see," he said, as he slid out of the jacket. "Then he would need a size bigger."

As I looked through the rack for another jacket of similar design yet different size, I noticed Kashiwagi-san acting more listless than ever. He paced around the shop in general, not really doing anything, just walking around.

"Did I do something wrong?" I whispered to Sayaka-chan so that the boy wouldn't be able to hear me.

"It's fine," Sayaka-chan told me. "It's just a misunderstanding, and Jarrett's actually a pretty reasonable person, so he wouldn't get angry for no sound reason for long. In fact, I just think he's just rather hurt that you made him somehow believe that you wanted to buy him something."

"I see," I replied.

I paid for Yukino-kun's present at the counter, and found Kashiwagi-san in front of the storefront, on the pavement waiting for Sayaka-chan and I.

"So, you got the two sizes bigger for your boyfriend?" he asked me, tapping his foot on the ground.

"Yeah," I told him. "Sorry, about just now. I didn't mean to mislead you"

"It's fine," he said, looking away.

"Well, do you two want to go grab a drink or something first? We still have some time, you know," Sayaka-chan said.

"Nah, I'd rather go home," Kashiwagi-san muttered.

Kashiwagi-san seemed pissed for some reason, and Sayaka-chan and I were quick to pick it up. I guess it was because he was dragged along to buy Yukino-kun's present and not only that, I used him as a gauge to Yukino-kun's size. Well, I didn't know boys could be so sensitive.

The boy walked ahead, and the two of us followed him from behind as he led the way to the tram station. Sayaka-chan and I sat beside each other on the bench, while the boy leaned against the pillar. We were silent for a while, before  Kashiwagi-san suddenly spoke.

"I don't see what's so good about that guy," he said, turning his face away.

I kept silent, having grown used to his grumbling about Yukino-kun. Although I myself had no idea what exactly made him abhor my boyfriend so much. Certainly it couldn't be how Yukino-kun pushed and threatened him back in summer. I had a feeling he held a contempt for Yukino-kun on a deeper level, but I wasn't able to pinpoint what the cause was.

"He's brash, cocky and looks so gloomy all the time. Some girls were saying about how cool he seems, but he's just nothing but a delinquent," the boy said. "I'm not even sure if he even appreciates your existence, seeing that he still hasn't reached to you."

"Please don't say that," I muttered softly, knowing fully well that he probably wouldn't listen to me.

"Well, I'm kind of concerned you know. I know it's just me, but I feel that somehow Yukino-kun's rather detrimental to you. You worry about him too much, and he exhausts you," the boy said.

The words stung, but I kept silent. I wanted to defend Yukino-kun. I wanted to explain to this boy why Yukino-kun was the way he was. I wanted to prove to him that Yukino-kun was a good person, and my worry for him, and my love for him, was all worth it. Every single second with Yukino-kun was worth it. That was what I wanted to tell him, but the words never managed to leave my lips.

"You see," he said once more. "Nakayama just wears you out, and it's really evident that you're preoccupied with him in your mind. But what about you? What about your future? Shouldn't you be prioritising yourself over that burden of a child?"

"It's a man-eat-man world out there, Furukawa-san. I'm sorry if I sound cruel, but perhaps you should just leave him. It's better that way for you."

That was it. His words struck me with such force, it felt like my heart was bruised by the impact of the harshness of those cruel words.

I thought about Yukino-kun. The sweet boy who was always so kind to me, the gentle young man who always tried to hide his sorrow from me, the 'delinquent' who has gone through so much pain. The Yukino-kun who was broken and tattered.

He needed me, I was his only friend. I was the only one he could talk to, and I was the only one he could pour his feelings out to. Yet he still tried his best to keep these things from me. Even with that, he still held consideration for me, and did not want me to worry about him.

How could I leave him? How could I bring myself to commit such a cruel thing? To cut myself off from someone, just because they are misunderstood, just because they are broken, is that not unforgivable? How selfish I would be to be acting in such a way!

It brought tears to my eyes just thinking about it. There was no way on earth will I ever leave Yukino-kun. As much as he was a 'detriment', as much as he was a 'burden', I will stay with him, and help him through. Kashiwagi-san's never experienced a divorce. He'd never experienced an absent father. He'd never experienced seeing his own mother attempt to take her own life in front of his own eyes as he was a child. So how could he say those hurtful things? He never understood Yukino-kun, only I did. And I knew that was the only thing that mattered. If I was Yukino-kun, seeing someone tell my girlfriend that she should leave me, I would have walked over and gave that someone a punch on the face.

"Jarrett," Sayaka-chan suddenly said, standing up. "I think you've gone too far this time."

I just sat there, hugging my bag on my lap, as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Well, I was just trying to advise her," Kashiwagi-san replied. "She really should just break up with him."

"Going by that flawed, selfish reasoning, I would have told you the same thing as well," the girl shot back. "Back when Nanako was alive."

"But Nana-chan wasn't a burden!" he responded.

"By the definitions that you have just laid, how was Nanako any different from this? She wore you out, she caused you to worry a lot, how is that not the same as being a 'burden'?" Sayaka-chan questioned him.

The boy fell silent.

"Look," Sayaka-chan said. "I'm sorry, but I just had to say it. What you said to Ayano-chan about her boyfriend just isn't fair."

The girl then turned to me.

"Are you all right, Ayano-chan?" she asked me, her right palm on my shoulder. "Please don't mind what he said just now. I'm really sorry for that."

I nodded my head, wiping away my tears with my hands.

Kashiwagi-san kept silent until the tram arrived.

On the tram, the boy sat alone with himself at the back. However, right before Kashiwagi-san alighted at Showabashi, he stopped in front of my seat.

"I'm sorry about just now," he said solemnly. "That was rather insensitive of me to say those things."

I nodded my head silently, before smiling.

"It's all right," I replied. "I understand your concern, but I'm afraid I can't bring myself to leave Yukino-kun just like that, no matter how hard it is to keep us together."

The boy looked somewhere in the distance as he held on to the hand grips, before turning to me again.

"That means you're in love, I guess," Kashiwagi-san said, slinging his bag over his right shoulder.

"I guess so too," I replied.

"Well, see you tomorrow, then, Furukawa-san," he said as the tram slowed down to a halt.

"See you," I waved slightly.

Then, as the tram reached the platform of the station and just before the doors opened, Kashiwagi-san said something I never expected him to say.

"Help me wish Nakayama-san happy birthday, will you?" he said as he got off after Sayaka-chan.

I never got the chance to reply before the doors shut, but somehow, I felt slightly happy and grateful.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

When I got home, I brought the shopping bag with Yukino-kun's present into my room. I went to shower and got myself a fresh change of clothes. Seeing it was nearly dinner time and my parents weren't in I decided to start preparing a meal. I was about to study, but Akio-kun must certainly be hungry so I guess it was my responsibility to get the food ready. But I wasn't going to let him laze around and get food for free.

As I carried my laundry to be dumped in the washing machine downstairs, I passed my brother's bedroom. He was still in his uniform, and was lazing around on his bed.

"You'd better help me prepare dinner for tonight, unless you don't mind going hungry," I told him.

The boy grunted as he turned around on his bed. I guess he got it, but oh well, I couldn't force him if he chose to remain in bed.

After placing my clothes in the washing machine, I went about starting dinner. I was washing the rice when my brother finally arrived in the kitchen, in his crumpled uniform. A sleepy expression still on his face, he called out to me. He mumbled something but I couldn't hear him over the sound of the running water.

"What were you saying again?" I asked him once I stopped the tap.

"Your phone's ringing," he told me, pointing behind him with his thumb.

I nearly couldn't believe my ears. Could it be Yukino-kun? My heart raced in my chest.

"Take care of the rice," I ordered my brother, as I ran out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs.

I grabbed my phone from my desk, and found a missed call listed there, from Yukino-kun. A flood of relief flooded my heart. Yukino-kun was fine, it seems. Eagerly, I called him, tossing myself onto my bed as I waited for the ringing to end and for Yukino-kun to pick up on the other end.

He picked up after a short while.

"Hey, Ayano-chan," he said, his voice rather raspy.

His voice made me smile. Knowing that he was fine was all that I needed, a reassurance that Yukino-kun was all right and everything was okay. All the worry I had stored in my heart had all but vanished, replaced with relief.

"Yukino-kun," I muttered. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he told me. "I just saw all your calls, and just wanted to return your call. So, what's up?"

"I should be asking you that, Yukino-kun!" I teased. "You were missing the whole day, where were you?"

"Sorry for making you worry," he apologised. "I left my phone at home and went out."

"Went out to do what?" I asked him.

"Well, just the usual," he said. "Being a delinquent and doing delinquent things."

"Whatever," I replied. "So how are you today?"

"Dead," he told me.

I guess he meant that his mother probably found out that he played hooky, and was going to give him a huge scolding when she got back from work. His mother was a lawyer, I'm sure she must be pretty scary when she's angry.

"It's all right," I told him.

He just grunted in reply.

"Actually, Yukino-kun," I said, rolling on my bed. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" he asked.

"Is your favourite colour blue?" I questioned him as I hugged my plush bunny toy.

"Yeah," he said. "Why?"

"Ah, it's nothing," I told him.

Our conversation didn't go far after that. My boyfriend sounded rather tired, so I guess he must have been loitering about I suppose. He told me he was going to bathe and lie down before signing off. I wished him a good rest.

After the conversation ended, I laid around on my bed for a while, curled up in a ball and hugging my fluffy toy tightly. A warm feeling engulfed me as I thought of how happy Yukino-kun would be when he received my present. At least I got his favourite colour right, and I was glad.

I sat up on my bed and looked at the shopping bag on my desk. The baseball jacket was still folded inside. I'm sure he would like it. It suits him.

I just wanted to make him smile again.